upper lippy locks of love

In one of my new duties at work, I have to order and manage the office & medical supplies. In this job, I have somehow become right hand to Larry, our agency's Facility Czar (I'm drawing a big ol' BLANK on just what his job title is...it definitely involves the word "facility" or perhaps "facilities". "Czar" is not actually part of it, I don't think) Anyways...the one thing I know for certain about Larry is that his whole head looks wrong without a moustache. I didn't realize he was so very much, so incontrovertibly a moustache man until he just this past weekend shaved it off. And this would be fine by me and merely a source for much catty commentary if I didn't have to confer with the dude so frequently. It is all I can do not to stare at the foreign expanse of facial real estate where the moustache once thrived...oh, and there is a red nick there, just to make things extra awkward por moi. It's either a nick or like, a shaving bump..I'm not sure, as I have managed not to gaze at it for a prolonged period of time (although, I think I instead I have my eyes darting constantly about the room like I'm coming down off of a crack high or something)





This has inspired in me much moustachioed meditations...there are definitely guys who should have moustaches. For instance, I quite prefer Alex Trebek pre-shave. Oh, and Tom Selleck is a perfect poster boy for the better-WITH-stache club. I always thought Magnum PI was the foxiest mo-fo to don a Hawaiian shirt, but then the first time I saw Selleck sans 'stache I was like "BleeeeeEECH! Who is this bushy eyebrowed monster??" Anyways, why then is it unprecedented (or, to the best of my knowledge, it's unprecedented) for makeover shows to put fake moustaches on their male subjects? I think that majority of makeover show subjects (would "beneficiaries" be a better term than "subjects"? ) are still women. But, in recent years makeover shows have gotten more equal opportunity...particularly due to the influence of QE for theStraight Guy. So surely, some of these men beneficiaries in these makeovers might be improved by a moustache. If anything, the trend seems to be to get these fellahs as clean shaven as possible. I think on QE it was so that Kyan could get 3 minutes to show off his prowess with a straight razor (ironic? haa ha) OK, I'm not saying it should be "moustaches for all" but definitely for the Trebek types or the Sellecks. Oh-- and have you ever seen Sam Elliot without his moustache? It's an absolute travesty. Like a de-horned unicorn .

So if some broad was on a makeover show with some pitiable short haircut (the Dorothy Hamill perhaps) the hair gurus would outfit her with some extensions, yes? So why not makeover guys with fake 'staches? Is there some tacit stigma attached to fake moustaches? Are they considered too costumey? I mean, why don't male celebrities accessorize with them in the way that starlets clip on extensions when they need a glam red carpet coiff?

pachalafaka--they whisper it all over Turkey

Hello again turkeyjerkies. A thousand &one pardons for my negligence. Lemme get you up to speed. Shouldn't take long...

Christmas was really nice. Seems like for the month of December I was a bit stressed that I wasn't going to be able to get everything done that I wanted to do. I got my cards out a smidge later than I usually do--usually I have 'em mailed around the 14th or 15th but this year I got 'em out on the 19th (with the exception of 3 folks I couldn't get addresses for) and I was a bit relieved after that. And then I finally finished my Christmas shopping practically right at the last minute (12/21) and after that was done, I chillaxed and commenced to fully enjoy the holiday season. There were a few craft projects I never got around to, but oh well. And then Christmas seemed lovely..but it was over too quickly.

I really did well, loot-wise, this Christmas. I don't want to be a total mercenary, but I confess I do take joy in being spoilt....a bit. ..on occasion. It's not as if it's S.O.P. in my life, okay? That sort of reminds me of a quote I read on my desk calendar (if I might digress momentarily..) according to my Schott's Miscellany desk calendar (excellent desk calendar; I plan on hunting one down for 2009) Charlie Chaplin said "The saddest thing I can imagine is to get used to luxury" I think that's interesting in that it sheds a lot of light on what a sicko masochist Chaplin truly was. Ha, ha. Just kidding. I recognize the nobility of that POV, but I can't quite relate. Isn't he being a smidge hyperbolic with that one? Sure, I would definitely say that there are perils to becoming accustomed to luxury. But the saddest thing? Obviously CC had never listened to Terry Jacks' Seasons in the Sun. I don't even get to the end of the first line of the first verse before hitting >> on my iPod. Why in hell did I ever download that song to begin with??
Anyways, I'm not so much into self-denial as ol' Charlie was, and therefore I rather liked all the stuff I got for Christmas. Lemme see...some highlights-- I scored some cash, some gift cards (iTunes, Price Chopper, BK, Luxury Nails, Molly's restaurant) got a super nice bracelet from my sister. And the DVD of A Christmas Story (although it pains me to be trite, it really is my most favoritest Christmas flick. And it was sucky to own it on VHS. Now I just need someone to find me the Peewee's Playhouse Christmas Special on DVD and my holiday movie marathon is perfecto!!) She also got me a jumbo box of Nerds (white,red, &green for the season). For the third year in a row. It's an established holiday tradition now, I suppose (which is fine by me, as I love me some Nerds).

One of the more peculiar gifts I got was a kimono. A friend of mine made me this cotton kimono in this cute floral print. I wasn't sure how to react to it initially-- it was unexpected. But really I've grown very fond of the thing. I find that slumming around in such an exotic and costumey sort of robe is much more gratifying than schlumping around in your run-of-the-mill terry dealies. In fact, it feels much more like swanning around. And although the primary intransitive verb definition of "swanning" just means "to wander aimlessly or idly; to dally"; it connotes something quite elegant, does it not?

Am definitely keeping my to' up green terry dealie for when I color my hair though.

Happy Holidayzzz Mutha %$#@

Oddly, I've been in the mood (musically, that is) to listen to either holiday music (I just -- last weekend--put all my Christmas songs back on to my iPod. It took FOREVVVVVER. I have about 130 holiday tunes and it was too dang labor intensive. I think I'll just leave 'em on there) or RAP. I just bought Sugarhill Gang's Apache & Shimmy Shimmy Ya by ODB (inspired by the VH1* top 100 HipHop Songs countdown I watched a coupla weeks back) Also I bought Get Back by Ludacris (inspired by the end credits of Tropic Thunder ). Incidentally, I've found that Get Back is just the ULTIMATE song for the commute home after a vexing day at work where everyone's been a pain in your ass.

Oh, there's some changes on the job front to share (when I feel like typing it out, that is...I gotsta jet now. I want to finish off my Christmas cards) and the 50%possibility of a move in my 6-12 month forecast. Full 411 to follow. . .

*minor VH1 related tangent I must interject here... I recently watched an eppy of "Best Week Ever" after somewhat of a hiatus (used to watch it faithfully) What's with it becoming the Paul F Thompkins Show? The best part about that show was that if some of the jokes fell a li'l flat there was some variety--cut to another comic to pick up the comedic slack, y'know. I suppose I could comprehend the change better if Thompkins was markedly the funniest dude on there, bar none. But that's not the case. Furthermore, I don't see any of these BWE panellist getting OTHER work. What-- is Christian Finnegan now hosting some game show I don't know about? What the deuce?

sicky sick illy ill

I have had two people tell me today that I look pale and one person tell me I look “pekid”. Which amounts to me being nervous that I’m going to succumb to a swoon—or worse—at any moment. Especially that “pekid” comment. “Pale “ can be purely cosmetic—and positive, even—noting that I’ve got that Rose McGowan porcelain doll chic happenin’. But “pekid” is never good.

I thought maybe I was affected by skipping lunch today and I took tah rummaging about in my bottom righthand desk drawer for some sustenance (‘cause yeeeah—I’m underfed—that’s my problem) and I tore into this Sunbelt Fudge Dipped Coconut Granola bar I’d had in there since Monday. Thems GOOD. I was sorta shocked by that, because they’re just 25 cents, which is redonkulously cheap and according to the often accurate you-get-whatcha-pay-for theorem, they should be disgusting. You can’t even get those Wrigley’s gum 5pc packs for a quarter anymore.

Nostalgic tangent time. . .

Back when I was in college, there was this dive in W Rutland (on old Rte 4, I believe it was located) and their signs advertised hamburgers for 15 cents. I was always quite curious about that place and what other <$1 fare they offered. But I never stopped in, mostly because of the hygienically sketchy look of its exterior, but also in part due to the aforesaid you-get-whatcha-pay-for mentality. I wonder if that place is still there? Ten years ago, it looked like a good huff and a puff would reduce it to rubble so… doubtful that it’s still there.

Got to paint a 3

Sadly, character actor Paul Benedict was found dead on Monday. He was 70. To most of the world he was the British neighbor dude on the Jeffersons, but I'll always remember him for his numerical masterpieces...




Maaaaaaad skillz!! He could paint numbers like a mo-f0, eh? I loved this guy.

The sleep timer

...is one of the most brilliant inventions ever. I use it constantly-- on my TV, on my iPod...

I really wish they could put a sleep timer feature on a PC. I very easily lose track of time when I'm online. I will tell myself "I'm just going to browse around the internets for an hour", but I get sucked into these tangents and before I know it, I look down at the taskbar clock and 2 1/2 HOURS have sped by. Tempus fugit, indeed. But see, if I had me a PC outfitted with a sleep timer, I could say "I'm just going to browse around the internets for an hour" and make that a FIRM hour.

So ,I'm left to rely on good ol' fashioned WILLPOWER and that's never proven exceedingly reliable for yours truly. As it happens, I'm just now taking a break from a bad mammajamma of a tangent (I don't know if "tangent" is the right word...that makes it seem as if it's a verbal thing and it's not really) where I am poring over the Lifetime network's directory of Lifetime Original Movies. Only looking at the Christmas ones, mind you. I'm a sucker for cheezy holiday TV. The big purveyors of this being : Lifetime, ABC Family, the Hallmark Channel, and possibly Oxygen. I can't decide if Lifetime or ABC Fam is my favorite. I watched a bizarro one last year where Jamie Gertz & Dylan Walsh (I heart Dylan Walsh) are an estranged married couple who go snowmobiling out in the middle of absolute nowhere and get stranded like absolute jackasses. Based on a true story (to some degree) . I'm trying to find that one in the Lifetime cannon. Also last year I had kinda been keen on seeing "Christmas Caper" with Shannon Doherty, but I missed it. Wonder if that is a Lifetime one (and if I can catch it this year). Oh, and since I've already launched well off on this topic and exposed myself as a total schmendrick, I may as well proceed to confess that I not only watched & enjoyed Holiday in Handcuffs the other weekend, but I actually DVRed it. Y'know even though I hated that Sabrina show, I always find Melissa Joan Hart to be quite endearing in her dorkiness. And I thought I wouldn't be able to stomach a flick with Mario Lopez as the lead. He's easy enough on the ol' retinas alright, but his acting is generally sorta crappish. It wasn't any better for Holiday in Handcuffs, but crappish acting seemed ok for this kinda fare.

Gettin' in the Christmas spirit

I'm getting a very sllowwww start to my Christmas shopping. I think part of the reason my Christmas shopping is gaining momentum oh-so gradually is because last year at this time I was making quite a bit more $$. The nutty thing is that I work a lot harder in this new job... and get paid less. Where is the justice?? I need a new gig. One where I work less and get paid more. Y'know I just heard they're in dire need of female airport security at the little rinkydink airport in Lebanon. And that the gig comes with beaucoup bennies. I don't think I could do that gig though, dammit. But really I have *got* to find something else if I can. Working for a nonprofit org is a tot-step away from volunteering for a living.

But I digress. I have made a smidge of progress in my Christmas shopping. I think I want to buy my Dad the Shamwow. OK, partly because I'm damned curious about it, I admit. But if it works anything like it's supposed to my Dad would be thrilled with such a product.

Also, I want to get my sister these candles. I am inclined to get her all 3...I sure do wish they came in a set.

I've also got a lot of great Christmas cards. I think that's what's put me in the holiday mood the mostest. I found a surprisingly awesome variety box at Kmart that features Norman Rockwell & JC Lyendecker illustrations--classic stuff. I love it. A box of 28 too!! I was so impressed.

I posted this Family Guy clip last year, but the vid I embedded then won't play anymore. I imagine it was on YouTube and then yanked off due to rights violation or some such hooey. Anyways, I gotsta proffer this nugget of holiday cheer again...

Thanksgiving 2008

I think the Macy’s Thanksgiving Parade just may be my favorite part of Thanksgiving. With the midday gorging being a close second fave. Anyways, I watched a good deal of the parade before I at last relented and started in washing the dishes that I had let set in the sink overnight (from prepping veggies & Green Goddess dip & devilled eggs the night before) Anyways, I was sorta peripherally keeping an eye on the parade, when the sudden, jarring, seemingly arbitrary appearance of RICK ASTLEY had me abandoning the sink and standing bewilderedly in front of the TV with my dish soapy hands held up in front of me ( y’know, pre-surgery doc style) He was on the Foster’s Home for Imaginary Friends float “singing” Never Gonna Give You Up and I was genuinely puzzled (albeit DELIGHTED… I do so enjoy that Rick Astley) It seemed to me SO outta left field that it took on a sort of miraculous & surreal quality.

So yeah, I was “Rickrolled”. And it just astounds me that I had never heard of this phenomenon until I did a li’l Wikipedia perusal this afternoon. It’s odd and trivial and just the sorta thing that I would know all about. But I didn’t!! Curses!

Lemme see… other things about my Thanksgiving…
I pigged out royally.
I kicked arse at Scrabble.
I went through the 2600+ songs in the iTunes library I share w/ Laura and weeded out all the Raffi & the Jonas Bros (& other such undesirables).

Going back to work on the day after a holiday completely blows the big euphonium. I gotta use up some of my small stash of ETO for Dec 26 (awww yeahhh..Boxing Day mah bitches!!)

Nice chair. . .FOR ME TO POOP ON!!

I SOO don’t wanna be here today. The only thing that will spare me from harboring lasting resentment against the organization is if I’m able to fit in a goodly amount of slacking off time. If I were an employer, I would absolutely allot time for my employees to slack off. I think I would give them a whole hour (in addition to the lunch hour... something like a ½ hr a.m. block of downtime, lunch hour, ½ hr afternoon block of downtime) Of course, I’m sure any company I was heading up would be of the creative sort…a sort of place where slacking off could be construed as constructive & crucial to production. Also I’m sure any company I was heading up would tank in a fairly short amount of time. It’s quite unbecoming to be self-deprecating, I realize, but I’m just not business-minded, is all. I have plenty other redeeming qualities. Truly, I do…

I have been preoccupying my mid—late morning hours with pondering what to get for lunch. Can you believe I didn’t score any leftovers from my sister’s yesterday?? Pfff! I suppose I’m not *entitled*. I have no legal claim on the leftovers (don’t need Starr Jones to tell me that). But I was expecting a li’l somethin’-somethin’. A smallish doggie bag. A pittance, if you will. But I gots nothin’ . … therefore I’ve been perusing the online menu for 99. Nothing therein is particularly enticing to me, but I’m still hooked on the notion of 99 takeout because it’s within walking distance.

Have I mentioned they’re remodeling our offices? I moved into my new, improved work station on Nov 17th. I got a new desk as well as this swanky new light blue office chair that I realized this morning already has a stain on it. A small stain that—I regret to report-- resembles a poop stain. Why, oh, WHY did they hafta order light blue chairs?? Oh and no , to the best of my knowledge, I did not poop my pants at work. I do believe that I would notice and subsequently remember pooping my pants at work. I think it’s dirt. Surely, it’s from my mindless habit of sitting with my right foot tucked underneath me. So it may really be a poop stain if I’d tromped thru dog dookie on one of my lunch break walks. If I had the privacy of a cubicle, I might cop a squat & sniff the seat of my chair but our office is very open plan and I don’t fancy anyone &everyone seeing me do that, y’know?

I miss my jaw harp. I never figured out how to really play it and now the thing is MIA. I'm real tempted to buy another one. What's the worse that could happen..that soon after replacing the missing harp, I find the original one (that seems to happen to me A LOT when I replace lost items). Well, in that scenario, I would hand over my old jaw harp to a friend (after boiling in diluted bleach or somehow purifying the thing, if the recipient in question was one of my more fastidious pals) and then we could both learn the jaw harp. Thereafter, we could rock out....in epic musical camaraderie... a-settin' in rocking chairs on a porch somewhere ...possibly at a Cracker Barrel as we do a 5 state concert tour of Cracker Barrel restaurants. Yeee HA.

I thought of this tonight because I was doing some online browsing (I hope to find some sweet Xmas gifts online this year) and one of the sites I hit was the VT Country Store. Their TOYS section has a musical instrument subsection and they offered a jaw harp on there. Oh, also they had this that caught my eye--





I'm all for old timey instrumentation, but even I am not jackass enough to pay $20. for a slab of corrugated metal. That's flippin' reDONKulous, maaan!!

small, odd, vexations & misc. notes

D'ya ever feel like your tongue just doesn't fit right inside your mouth? My tongue just could NOT get comfy today.

Another thing that irks me.... I think this irks me more than it does most people. I really hate "toast tracks " in the butter. Technically these would be toast crumbs left in the stick of butter in the butter dish... but I have long called them "toast tracks". I want to slather my toast with PRISTINE butter, not butter full of crumbs from godknows whose toast from who-the-flip knows when??

The butter rant makes me think of a poem I read the other night. That's right. I'm not a complete cultural heathen. I sometimes read poetry, dammit.

Anyways, I think this A.A. Milne ditty is utterly charming...

Perhaps I shall write a sequel epic poem...telling of a lovely Empress and her reactions to toast tracks in her butter...

TV blather

Sheepish confession: Between my regular TV addictions, I have taken to watching the Disney channel again. Particularly The Wizards of Waverly Place or Hannah Montana or Life With Derek. That last one, because all the people on that show are so charmingly Canadian. Yeah, so I happen to know the show is made in Canada, but I swear even without knowing that...you'd be able to tell. They really do exude this distinct Canadian je ne sais pas I can't fully define. For one, they seem more wholesome. And they really do say "about" funnily. Or at least the younger bro on the "Derek" show does anyhow.

Anyways, speaking of TV... my Thurs night line up consists of: Ugly Betty, Grey's Anatomy & then It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia. I still do love The Office, but I usually catch up with it online over the weekend. I know I can watch Grey's online too, but watching it Thurs gives me a more balanced night of couch spuddery (comedy-drama-comedy vs. comedy-comedy-comedy) So...WHAT THE FLIP is wrong with Izzy anyways?? I swear they are building up to a brain tumor and that is going to be a godawful DRAG of a storyline. Still, I'd be miffed if they were just making her go plain ol' nuts too. The only palatable way out of this Denny foolishness---in my opinion-- is to pull a Dallas circa 1986 (the show, dummy, not the city) and make it all a nasty dream. Conversely , what was good in this episode was that Sloane got the opportunity to be a bit more than set dressing. Don't get me wrong... he is a fuckingGORGEOUS bit of set dressing, but there is more to him than just his uber fine exterior. He is my absolute FAVE Gray's character and I've been saying for aaaages that the dude needs more of a storyline. However, I didn' t like his comment that he'd been contemplating a dalliance with "Little Gray". I do NOT sanction that pairing!! Y'know I always thought a Sloane-Izzy coupling would be just capital. You've got the whole bad boy-goody 2 shoes girl dynamic in play there. And , okay, YES, Little Gray is a goodie 2 shoes also, but she's also a tremendous dweeb. I like her well enough, but she's SO not worthy. But Izzy has got her thing right now with Karev , and that's a pretty decent pairing . Plus she's apparently bat guano loco at present...so... not the best timing to launch a Sloane-Izzie storyline. I think it'd be fine for Sloane to bide his time with Callie. Maybe even have an ill-fated fling with that new blonde Aussie psycho. The only other Gray's romance worth mention (since Derek + Mer= ZZzzzz) is the burgeoning Hunt- Yang pairing. Not everyone liked Hunt's weird inarticulate frustration combined with sudden maulings but I gotta say...I'm a fan. It is weird. But hot& weird. And this week in particular he kind of shrugged off his oddball aura and was really rather adorable in that stoop scene near the show's end. " I think you're BEAUTIFUL." Simultaneously heart-melting and twitterpating...I loved it.

Heroes blather

Who else thought the Elle/Sylar face off on Heroes was hot?? I mean, killing a gal's father is quite a doozy of a romantic roadblock but Elle seemed to get over it rather quickly. Yes, she got over it after firing a coupla hundred lightning bolts at the fellah, but still!! Daddy-killing is the sort of faux pas that should really result in a lengthier grudge--am I right? Nevertheless, it was still pretty hubba-hubba. And Sylar is seeming strangely attractive to me this season. Well clearly he has a sweet bod--that's pretty evident during the Elle confrontation scene. But from the neck up I'm finding him fetching too, but can't really pinpoint why. I mean, none of those features are aesthetically pleasing in any classic sense of aesthetic pleasantry. And the eyebrows should be a source of much distraction. But they're not . (Sadly, I can't say the same about Nathan Petrelli...my sis likes him. It's way shallow of me , but I just cannot get over his megalithic chin...or jaw...it's kind of the jaw region as well. Really, his whole head is a bit Easter Islandy and it freaks me out)

Conversely, Parkman and Daphne have more or less pledged their love and they have all the chemistry of.. .of...uhh...white paper plates and cotton balls. Ok, so my arsenal of chem-knowledge is tres miniscule (practically nonexistant) but it seems a decent bet that those two elements aren't apt to catalyze any dramatic chemical reactions of note. I just think this particular romantic storyline looks to be LAME and I blame the dame. This Daphne falls in love faster than she runs but she doesn't do it very convincingly. I can't decide if this actress is lacking that mysterious "it factor" that endears her to the viewer, or if she simply is a shitty actress(possibly both). Anyways, it's too bad, because Parkman's mah boy and he deserves some love. Other than that non-trad fam love he had going on with the whole My 2 Dads set up --him, Molly, Mohinder. Who the hell is watching that child anyways??

I really miss...

PacMan Pasta with meatballs. Maan, that was the best thing to have for lunch EVER!! As you may have surmised, I ate a good deal of PacMan Pasta as a wee Sanny. That kinda stuff stays with ya(well, stays with me anyways) I mean, everytime I walk past the Chef Boyardee offerings in my local supermarket I feel a pang of sadness over the extinction of Pac Man Pasta. EVERY. TIME. For reals, yo. And logically, I do realize that Dora Pasta with Meatballs is quite possibly the same EXACT thing just with Dora shapes, but I can't bring myself to buy that stuff. In my heart, I just feel it couldn't measure up, y'know?

Maybe I should create a petition.

Have to add..

That I'm kind of in love with Ghost of the Doll now. Add it to my links side bar or no? Passing fancy or fixed fixation? I must contemplate this...

audience participation please..

I find iTunes to be really easy to use, but it's not all it could be. I really love shopping Amazon on account o' the browsing capabilities. iTunes is so simple to *buy* from, but mere browsing isn't so great. The big advantage to Amazon is the WISH LIST. I love the wish list. iTunes should sooo let users compile wish lists. And while they're improving, I think it would also be rad of them (and rather ground-breaking,really) if they offered full minute music preview snippets. A lot of songs you really can't get the gist of in a measly 30 seconds.
See, if I had a wish list, I mighta remembered that I wanted to buy George Harrison's "Got my Mind Set on You" I know it's a cheezy song, but I so dig it. Remember this---???---




Bravo--amazing space-age special effects in play here! Where is he -- in the Disneyland Haunted Mansion ?? I kid! I kid! I love this song, really. And the vid is a fond memory. I think it was the squirrel playing air sax with a pipe that stuck in my nog the most vividly. Love that. None of the squirrels at my house are so amusing.

So I'm suddenly inspired to posit a poll-esque query to y'all (what few of you comprises "y'all" anyway). It's not going to be a full-on poll, because I want you to tax your own memories and give me answers rather that respond to a bunch of voting options thunk up by moi. Anyways, the aforementioned query:

What is the most memorable music video from the 80s?? ( put your answers in the comments per favor)

I think an obvious answer would be "Thriller" and I don't really mean one that was ubiquitous like that,or iconic , not necessarily. I mean something that stuck in your own mental craw, personally memorable, not culturally memorable. Dig? Of course, that might still be Thriller. Thriller was a biggie for me...not so much because of the actual video, but because my Thriller ViewMaster reel was 1 of my 2 favorite reels. Yep, pretty much when I got out the ol ' VM, I was reeling thru Thriller or 1976 King Kong. I had lotsa other reels-- Tom & Jerry, Huggabunch,--oooh, quick side tangent...check this shit out.. I owned the one they call "Tickles" here but I think I called her Bitchface and her illegitimate babe I called Allistair. Hey, I had nothin' against him. Not his fault that he is harlot-born.
But I digress. Wooah do I digress..back to videos.

Most memorable 80s vid for me ( I am soon going to divulge MY answer to the poll-esque query, I urge you to right now scrawl down your answer lest you be influenced..) is , hands down, Genesis 's Land of Confusion . Oh, not only do we got ugly puppets, you have singing navels & drowning in bed . If that stuff is not branded on your memory then it's because the trauma made you suppress it. Yeah..ok.. I suppose grandiose claims like that warrant an embed...

web meanderings...

Some terrif new sites I've stumbled on to as of late--

The Book of Threes website is kinda neat-o. I'll tell ya why I was looking there... Our office is currently undergoing some renovations, and when all is done, we will have 3 conference rooms. And my boss sent out this email that they were fielding suggestions for names for the conference rooms. See, naturally I'm wanting to mine literature or mythology for some quirky yet meaningful set of names. For instance-- Mazaru, Mizaru, & Mikazaru sort of appealled to me. But none of my suggestions were practically viable , so I kept 'em to myself. Cathy (bosslady) proffered a suggestion of her own-- it was The Connecticuit River Room, The Ottaquechee Room, and. . .and...oh, I don't recall the third option, they were all united by this regional geography motif..possibly it was The Ascutney Mountain Room. One of the other managers emailed some feedback immediately-- countering that "Ottaquechee" is too hard to spell. Accordingly, she misspelled it in that very email. Well, I don't think "Ottaquechee" is all that difficult a word, but that's neither here nor there, really. I find that whole notion repugnant-- avoiding words because they're not easily spelled. Still, upon further contemplation, I feel like neither mine nor Cathy's ideas would do. The reason being that my names make the conference rooms sound like interesting places. Cathy's names are swank sounding. I haven't seen the new rooms,but I feel pretty certain that they're doing them on the cheapy-cheap and they're going to be as corporate cookie cutter as it gets. So, 'tis only fair to avoid names that cruelly raise one's expectations. Probably Conference Room A, Conference Room B, & Conference Room C are the only really suitable options.

Speaking of corporate interiors... have I ever before raved about how much I dig the looks of Frank Lloyd Wright's Johnson Wax Building in Racine , WI?? (I may have...I sometimes feel like I repeat myself incessantly in this blog) . That looks like a really rad place to work. Of course, there doesn't seem to be a whole hell of a lot of privacy, what with a huge bullpen with no cubicle walls.

Oh yeah, the other site I discovered: Plaid Stallions. No drawn out explanation required on that one. Sites like that are just naturally my bag, y'know?

Tonight I called Laura and learned that my niece Lucy has pneumonia. I was kinda wary of inhaling her icky sick germs, but I could keep myself from stopping in to see how the wee muffin was doing. She looked a bit pale and run down, but ,on a positive note, she seemed to be in good spirits--being silly, laughing at TV, eating. Laura said she was much improved over last night & earlier in the day.


While visiting the li'l patient, I was treated to my very first episode of Yo Gabba Gabba! I'd seen some merchandise in stores (Brobee dolls in Newbury Comics, etc) but didn't know what the toys were from. Tonight I was enlightened and must confess I'm now kind of smitten with the show. Well this probably comes as no shock to those of you who knew me in my Bananas in Pajamas phase (didn't you watch that avec moi, Jilly?) and/or throughout my BooBahs kick.

It's driving me nuts though that I found the Snacky Snack song insanely catchy and had resolved to sing it whenever I consumed snackies from here on out forevermore...(well, no, just on occasion) but damned if I can't remember it at all!! So maybe "catchy" is a poor adjective choice in this instance, as I believe that catchy things, by nature, are supposed to adhere to one's consciousness. Am I right on that? So perhaps the Snacky Snack song wasn't all that catchy but I did like it. It's good, I assure you. I've searched all over them internets and I can't find it anywhere. DAGNABBIT ALL TO HELL!!



I had the same exact thing happen with a birthday song I heard the animatronic Chuck E. Cheese band perform (the last time I went to Chuck E. Cheese, that is, that band was not appearing on Yo Gabba Gabba. Although, Elijah Wood did show up to demonstrate an innovative new dance move). It's too damn bad, as I'd meant to store it up in me noggin for my next birthday serenade opportunity,--a most welcome alternative,as the ol' "Happy Birthday" is tremendously played out.


In totally unrelated news, when I walked to Shaw's today on my lunch break, I strolled the "SHOP THE WORLD" aisle for about 10 minutes and didn't buy anything. I love that aisle. It kinda seems like, at this juncture of my life anyways, that's the closest I'm going to get to international travel. Siiiigh. It's really the Irish/ British subsection of the aisle that I zoned in on. Perhaps it's that those are the only nations represented in "SHOP THE WORLD" that I would truly like to travel to. I've been to Mexico . And I feel fully indifferent toward the whole Asian continent . Meh. It's really Europe I long to see.


All that blathering just to simply state that I enjoy the "SHOP THE WORLD" aisle at Shaws. Oh,but I would certainly be remiss if I didn't sniggerly mention that I saw and inspected a can of... .

Haaa! That was the hardiest har har I had all day!! How could I NOT wanna go to the UK?? Such yuks...

STEVE GUTTENBERG JOGS HALF-NAKEY!!

I found this to be such compelling news item that I just *had* to defy my no-blogging-at-work policy to post it. Apparently hitching his star to the ol’ DWTS wagon did not catalyze the comeback that Guttenberg had hoped for. Now –ostensibly--we have an out-of-the-blue outbreak of wackadooism…amazingly captured on YouTube. Is it the height of cynicism that I don’t believe this is legit?

Look at this precious li’l poster I made for this Friday’s potluck. It kinda makes me glum that I probably won’t get to do this type stuff after my job changes. Kathy & Delce are my front desk counterparts in Wilder & Springfield (respectively) and they’re both (compliments first) very good at the job because they’re hard workers and exceedingly organized. But they both seem a bit lacking in artistic flair & refined taste (these things matter..if only to me). But even WORSE, their emails are consistently riddled with poor grammar and lousy spelling. Real moronic faux pas like using “there” when you actually require the possessive “their”. Grrr, do I HATE that.

Anyways, Kathy is going to be the one to take over my job and it’s going to pain me to see all these potluck posters and meeting signage with typos and the most run-of-the-mill clip art that Word has to offer. I don’t even wanna think about how the “daily announcements & roll call” email is going to suffer. Although. . .I’m sure a ginormo pay increase would help me transition more tolerantly….

I’m wearing some pants that I haven’t worn in aaaages. Good news is that I can button & zip them. Bad news is that I cannot do that with any degree of comfort. And I am wearing them anyway. I didn’t give myself enough prep time this a.m. to allow for emergency wardrobe revision. They’re uncomfortable enough when standing, but when I sit in them—oooff!! There is definitely now a bas-relief of pant seams on my belly. Lovely.

So maybe I shoulda skipped lunch. But I was huuuungry! I had brought in a ham salad sami (ham salad used to be one o’ those foods I wouldn’t touch w/ a 10ft pole ...along with egg salad…seems I have grown much more salad-tolerant in my old age) and walked to Shaws to get soup. Specifically: broccoli cheddar soup that has been giving me broccoli cheddar burps all afternoon. I’ve recently found that the soup on the Shaws salad bar has improved tremendously . They have this new “Culinary Circle” hi-falutin’ store brand which I suppose is like a Shaws equivalent of the Central Market stuff they peddle @ Price Chopper. I haven’t done extensive research yet, but just based on the Culinary Circle soups (which they stock the salad bar with): very promising. Even with the residual after-effects (flavored eructations) the cheddar-broc soup was good. The tomato basil vegetable soup was excellent. The chicken noodle soup was magnifico. Yeah, this cold weather’s got me on sort of a soup kick…

Heroes is on tonight. I gotta applaud the scheduling for that show. I really appreciate it being on Mondays. It’s somewhat of a silver lining to the black cloud that is your typical Monday. Y’know: Grrrr I hate to get back to work…where did my weekend go? But HEY—Heroes tonight!! I don’t think it’s been on any other night in all 3 of its seasons…so Monday must be working for somebody (or somebodys) other than just me…

it's a mad, mad, mad, mad post

Hey kids.

I started to watch It's A Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World on Comcast OnDemand tonight but my attention span wasn't quite up to the challenge. What's the running time on that puppy?? {popping on to IMDB to check run time & get link} Ahh, a mere 192 minutes... but it feels like 3 yrs. Not that I don't like the classics--I DO!! And there were several bits I enjoyed tonight before I ditched the flick. I liked---well, why don't I just show you? (I really don't have all that much to post)




A real bona fide early 60s Twist is a fucking laff- riot everytime. BIG yukks.This would be a prime example of that. That girl is especially funny. I would have to be in a very heavy, heavy fog, narcotically speaking, to be able to maintain such an expressionless countenance whilest shaking my groove thangie.

I also liked Jim Backus's small role in the movie, as lush pilot Tyler Fitzgerald.




"What could happen to an Old Fashioned, a'right??" HAA! Extra funny since Backus had the swankiest voice to ever come outta a larynx.

I've seen the flick before, when I was a kid. I used to watch LASER DISCS (those are such a weird bit of media archaeology) at my friend Jenny's. Her folks had quite a LASER DISC library, but the only titles I recall specifically is ...Mad World & Foul Play (with Goldie Hawn & Chevy Chase).

I saw some wigs in Walmart last night, really funky colored ones. Only $9.88. What is it with Walmart tacking 88 cents to the end of their prices? Anyways, I was considering one as part of my Halloween get-up. I know crimping my hair (the original coif scheme) is way cheaper, but a wig would be way easier (and more Hologram-ish) When I take a curling iron to my hair, I invariably miss big hanks of it (particularly in the back) and crimping is even more labor intensive. Now, krumping isn't labor intensive at all but it's key that you have the proper music and that you don't try to do it while crimping. Yeah, I'm a little out of practice,but I can krump. I can krump like a bastard!!

No I can't. Not truly. I was fibbing so that I would appear "cool".

Speaking of dance moves I can't quite master. ..I was listening to Public Enemy's " Can't Do Nuttin' For Ya, Man" and it occurred to me that it would be a primo song for a move I call "Crazy Hip Hop Head". It's this very distinctive head wobble that I can identify quite readily but can't achieve. It's just noggin movement--nothing overly strenuos-- but I still can't get it right. When I do it, it comes off all Roxbury Guy-like. Which is not the proper technique AT ALL. Other dance phenoms I have unsuccessfully tried to emulate (solo, in the privacyof my own home or car)--

the dance Claire does on the landing in The Breakfast Club's gratuitous dance montage.

the ass-shaking-independently-of-the-rest-of-the-body move that all the cookout ho's do in Juvenile's video for "Back That Ass Up" There's a name for that move, and I do know it, but it's rather icky and I'd rather call it an "autonomous ass bounce" even if it means nobody knows what I'm talkin' 'bout. Anyways, semantics aside, that motion is totally impossible. Having never seen it in person, I'm going to conclude that it's all the work of CGI.

But in positive news, after watching about a half dozen instructional videos on YouTube, I am fairly confident that I WILL be able to moonwalk with a spot o' practice. Don't snigger. The moonwalk is the cat's freakin' jammies.

Oh, and I think I will buy a wig. It's only $9.88 after all..

more on "Wendy"

..It was bullshit, just as I'd suspected.

No, I couldn't find anything on the origins of "Wendy" on Snopes, but I did find it sufficiently disproved on The Straight Dope website.

truly truly truly outrageous blathering

I wish that I could blog telekinetically. I have all manner of delightful notions and insightful insights that flit through my noggin over the course of the day but then I go to sleep and the bulk of it dribbles out my ear and seeps into my pillow (I sleep on my side) and it's lost forever. Waah.

I made caramel apples tonight. They came out muy bueno.

I decided on my Halloween costume. I'm going to be ...for about the 10th time in my life...an 80svalley girl. Like fer sher. At first I was kinda leaning towards a 50s era thing w/ poodle skirt. I had never done that before. I 've always felt that, as Halloween period costume cliche, the 50s broad is always a superior choice as opposed to a 60s hippie chick. Flappers are good too (but I've done that). Thing is, I didn't want to shell out much $$ on this costume and as it happens, I don't already have a poodle skirt hanging in my closet. I looked online and couldn't find a decent deal. I wanted a nice one for cheap, and it just wasn't gonna happen (during my browsing, I found this site most impressive) But even the cheap lookin' ones were selling for more than I wanted to spend. And I would want to pair it with a sweater set (knit shell & cardigan... gosh, mohair would be ideal, no??) but that's even more moolah. So basically, I'm doing the 80s val. thing again because I can do it well for cheap and already have some of the components. I bought a few things this weekend though-- a big sweatshirt (I'm gonna give it the Flashdance treatment) some jewelry, white RayBans. I was momentarily tempted to get Venetian blind shades (y'know the kind Kanye's taken to wearing) I know just where to get 'em too. But I just couldn't justify it. There is no integrating those into my everyday wardrobe after Halloween. The Ray Bans are kinda dorky, but at least they offer up some ocular UV protection, y'know. Shutter shades are just utterly frivolous. Yeah, officially, they're called "shutter shades" but I prefer to call 'em "Venetian Blind Shades". Y'know my sis & I both had a pair back in the day. Laura's were white and mine were red.

Hey, speaking of eyewear this will be the first year my costume authenticity won't be compromised by my glasses. Perhaps I'll put a new spin on the ol' routine this year and instead of claiming to be "an 80's girl" I will say I'm one of the Holograms (Jem's band). I know what you're thinking--why not just be Jem and use that persona as an excuse to perpetrate some truly, truly, truly OUTRAGEOUS behavior? Hmm? Well, to authentically be Jem, I would need magical star earrings and bright pink - pale yellow hair. Well, I don't know where to procure such earrings, and I am NOT doing that to my hair (but I'm going to crimp it). So, since I endeavor to be authentico, I therefore (for aforementioned reasons) can't be Jem. A lesser known Hologram it is, then.
I am dangerously on the verge of an epic Jem tangent right now. I went to check and see if any of the Holograms had normal looking hair... you can't believe how many effing Jem websites there are out there. Wow. Something for everyone on them internets, eh? I wonder if that cartoon inspired anyone to name their kid "Jerrica". It's not totally implausible. I once worked with a girl who was named Mindy and YES, her mum did name her after Pam Dawber's Mork & Mindy character. So, it does happen, ya see? Although probably not with the name Mork. I think the name "Mork" was dreamt up specifically for that show (like the name "Wendy" was supposedly invented by JM Barrie according to one of those trivia factoid email forwards I got once upon a time...remind me to check that out on Snopes.com) And doesn't "Mork" sound like it's short for something? "Morkus" or --better yet-- "Morkimer"?? Gosh, before I veer off into a whole other tangent, let me post this pic I found on one of these nutty Jem websites...

That was the Jem doll that I had as a youngster. Well, it's not Jem herself, really. Not even one o' the Holograms. It's one of their entourage. "Video" is her name, and as you may have surmised by her unconventional name, and her fancy high tech pale blue and lavender camera equipment, she shoots all of the Holograms' music videos. I wonder how my parents came to buy me this one. Because surely I would've asked for one of the central band members. Probably I wouldn't have wanted Jem (I shunned the mainstream as a tot...I was so snobbish) but probably one of the Holograms (or Misfits, more likely) But not this loser. Probably my mum got confused OR my sister told her to get this one. Laura always schemed for me to have uglier toys than she had. That's got to be a control freak older sibling thing..

Anyways, I wound up basically looting this doll for her kooky threads and used them on my Barbies and left her nakey at the bottom of the toybox. Oh, the Barbies 'jacked her camera too. I feel a bit bad for her. But look at her, she's freakish. There's a reason she was behind the camera.

I gotsta go make some lunch for tomorrow. Ciao puppies...

on the tube 10-17

Tonight I watched the season finale of Project Runway, 2 eps of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, 1 ep of The Marvelous Misadventures of Flapjack and then the movie IronMan.

Firstly, Project Runway -- the outcome was totally not a shocker. Not because I'm such a dab hand at predicting reality show competitions, but because I made my customary visit to my pal Kara's blog and pretty much the first line of her latest posting read something like :"LEANNE WON PROJECT RUNWAY" instantly ruining it for yours truly. Grr. That Yakkety McBlabbermouth. Ok fiiiine, so she's not. . . . Scottish. Make that "Blabbermouthski"

Haa. Just foolin' K. Although you did inadvertantly spoil the PR finale for me. Truth is, I didn't care too much. I was really rooting the mostest for Jerrell & after he got the boot I was done caring. Don't get me wrong, it's still a worthwhile hour of television (really about 35minutes when you super-FF through all commercials) But after Jerrell was eliminated I didn't care who won. OK, well Kenley is a bitch, and tremendously annoying but... in all honesty, I can't say that I hate her clothes. Especially those in her Bryant Park collection. Like, she didn't dazzle me in the challenges .In fact, I just couldn't shake the feeling that they kept her on just for her abrasive (and drama condusive) personality. But I really liked her final collection. It pains me to concede that, but I did.



Conversely, I liked what Leanne produced all throughout the season, but her final collection sorta disappointed me somewhat. I did like it, but I personally like a bit more color. And then there were the gills. I can't see why Kors& co. kept calling them "petals" when they were clearly gills. Whatev. Point is, I did tire of the gills on every-damn-thing. But I do think, overall, Leanne has a very real talent that is very unique & innovative , and also think (as the judge's panel seemed to as well) that Leanne can transfer her innovativeness to other ideas. I was wondering if any significance can be read into the fact that Kenley crafts this signature sleek,smooth, & bouncy Betty Page-esque coiffure on a daily basis and she does an impeccable job on her makeup. Whereas Leanne--maybe dabs on a smidgen o' foundation and doesn't appear to own a brush or comb. It's as if Leanne's look is saying "I am ALL ABOUT my work. Channelling all my artistry into the clothes" Maybe not. It's just a notion that flitted through my mind. Although, seriously, now that she's won, has some moolah, has a sweet ride, she can "rest on her laurels" for a spell and maybe test drive a makeover. It could mean a serious boyfriend upgrade. Did you see her fellah? If she's going to be A-list, she needs that bf upgrade!!

And Korto...well...her friends and family were lovely. Her collection was lovely ..though,really, it didn't knock me on my ass or anything. But in keeping with her M.O. everything was very well made. Although, I can't agree with Tim on his fave...some beige thing. For me, that was the low point of her show. But to descend into pettiness/ cattiness now...I was sick of seeing Korto all weepy and sick of her going braless. I was, like, embarrassed for her, clad in some of those thin fabrics and unabashedly *pointing* at Tim Gunn. She's some kinda fashionista, right? She must know they make strapless bras.


The reactions: Leanne cracked me up at the very end of the show when she busted out her rapper persona and said "$100,000 dollahs--drinks are on this BRUTHA!!" Loved that.


And then the losers-- sure I get being disappointed but these chicks were utterly despondent!! It was STUPID. Sorry, but I just could not drum up any sympathy for 'em. Korto was all "My heart is bleeeeding" and Kenley sobs "I'm CRUSHED" ...meanwhile, I'm like "Oh, please." Yeah, yeah, you wanna win, of course, but truly, just getting to Bryant Park is enough. (Can you tell I'm not the most competitive of souls??) Do you know how much exposure you get being there? How many famous folk are checking out yer threads?? In that regard, I feel like all of them kinda won. Leanne just won the most. I mean, jinkies, practically everyone who gets on that show-- even if they're dropped early on in the season-- sees substantial career boostage afterwards. It's like being on The Price is Right. Maybe you didn't win the Showcase Showdown, but you're not exactly headin' home empty-handed either.

Tim Gunn though, is 10X more adorable than Bob Barker (or Drew Carey for that matter). I just love Tim. I want him to be my fabulous gay adoptive dad. I could just see him coaching me on my everyday life. "These sounds your car is making. This CONCERNS me." "You have a budget of just $100. until your next pay day. And you want to go out for drinks? At Elixir?? Hmmmm. OK! Make it work!!" Make it work...love that. That is a primo mantra. Or motto (emblazoned on my new adoptive-paternal coat of arms). Or both.



I then found that It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia was one of the gratis TV-on-Demand offerings for Comcast(@ casa de mis padres). Which kinda vexed me...as I've now found 2 ways to catch up on Sunny absolutely FREE OF CHARGE. (Comcast On Demand & on hulu ) But this I discover after I've bought 2 episodes of the current season on iTunes (well, I've actually bought 3 episodes of Sunny-- 2 from this season and 1 from last season)




Really, I'm not much of a cartoon buff, but I love Flapjack. It's like the cutest cartoon ever.

Flapjack & Family Guy are the really the only cartoons I watch. Although I do have the Dungeons & Dragons DVD set on my Amazon wish list. That was my Saturday a.m. *must-see* when I was a young 'un. That and Muppet Babies.

I really liked Iron Man. O' course, I love Robert Downey Jr...probably that has a lot to do with it. I've probably said it before, but I must reiterate: Kiss Kiss Bang Bang is the cinematic cat's jammies. If you've not seen it, skip renting and just buy the sucker. Not only is it a fine RD Jr fix, but it's got Val Kilmer too.

I like Jamie Foxx too, so maybe I'll go see The Soloist (whenever the studio gets around to releasing that)

new title possibility...

AMANUENSIS. A grandiose word with Latin origins. It may be just the thing for my ID badge.

I mentioned this a few posts back. I f-ing love this ...

I need a HERO

I would be sadly remiss if I forgot to blather on about last night's Heroes.

I've send it before, and I shall reiterate: time-travel stories confuse the &^$@#% outta me!! I think it would be easier for me to wrap my brain around this if this whole futurescape was just part of Parkman's loco-berry induced dream. But I know that's not how they're gonna play it.

Oh, speaking o' Parkman ("PacMan" as that nameless tour guide fellah calls him) it's good to see him with a fam and apparently getting some lovin' in the future-- even if it is with that Daphne chick. I suppose she was incrementally less annoying in this episode anyways.

I suddenly find myself kind of smitten with Sylar. I wasn’t into him the past seasons (this is season # 3, right??) when he’s been completely blackhearted. Which is not to say I want him to turn into a goody-goody either. I like him how he’s been this season—shades of gray, so to speak. It started (my change of heart) when he made a funny in the season premiere (“It’s your brain, Claire. That’s DISGUSTING.”) and then, this episode, seeing him as a loving/vengeful pater familias-- that was very nice. Shades of HRG, no?

Was not in the least surprised that Nathan & Tracy started smooching. I mean, you can't fault her--she has no idea that he has an MIA parapalegic wife & MIA kids (what the hell happened to his immediate fam anyways?) Plus, how can you not make out with someone who swooped outta the sky and saved you from a death-plummet?? I'm only surprised that she held out until she'd finished her scotch. As for Nathan--well, born-again & superpowered or not, he's still a man.

I am of course, MUCHO intrigued about who the supervillian is that's making a big return in next week's ep. ERIC ROBERTS, MAYBE?? I don't really think so, but I would like it to be. I mean, he got shot or burnt or somehow offed, but he was working for Linderman (who could've reversed that). It can't be Adam--just because that would be a dirty trick-- to promise a mysterious big return next week for someone we've already seen return this week...

Oh and I did rock the vote. Voted once for Iowa and once for North Dakota (had to use my Dad's email to vote a 2nd time)

my priorities are WHACKED

I'm feeling like, as a dutiful American citizen, I really ought to be watching the presidential debates. Instead, I was diverted by a whole other election entirely. It's Cosmo's Hottest Bachelor of 2008 Competition!! YAY!

I went all ape shit over the Cosmo Bachelor dealie last year, so this year I was going to opt for restraint and just share the link, tell you my fave (Iowa), and be done with it. But then I decided that y'all were owed a lengthy post (even if it's waaay too rambling) since I post so very intermittently nowadays. Therefore, I am giving you my opinion on every single bachelor. That's 50 of 'em!! I'll try to be succint about it...(if I can)

ALABAMA--First off, I'm not too big on blondes. Plus, if you watch his video you'll see he styles the coiff very oddly. Oh and speaking of his video--it is really terrible. The first half is endless footage of him doing wheelies on his motorcycle in various parking lots. Then it shifts awkwardly from moronic to sad and awkward. I don't want to criticize the sad & awkward part, as it's rather heartfelt and noble. I'll just say it leaves me more compelled to donate to March of Dimes than vote this guy 2008 Bachelor of the Year. But in that regard, perhaps I shouldn't call it "terrible" ---just "terribly ineffective" then.

ALASKA- Meh. Too baby-faced.

ARIZONA-- Not my top pick, but not bad. I am mildly vexed by his quote "I am motivated and like to have fun." I don't really cotton to his flouting his beaucoup motivation in my face (braggard!!) but what really causes me to roll my eyes here is him pointing out that he likes to have fun. It's a pretty commonplace bit of self-description, but everytime I hear it, I sorta scoff, as it makes me ponder the converse--namely, just who the hell doesn't like to have fun? Well, it truly does take all kinds to make a world, so probably there is some considerable sub-culture of fun- haters out there. So I shouldn't scoff. But I do. Because it's still a rather dim-witted way of describing oneself.

ARKANSAS: He looks too young too. He does get points though, for his answer to: "Wow him by wearing.."

CALIFORNIA: Meh. Jhanelle is a girl name.

COLORADO: Dude looks older than 27 to me. He started a non-profit org though (that's in his vid). Very impressive. Still ain't voting for a blond though.

CONNECTICUT: I liked 2007's CT bachelor. This guy ain't doin' it for me

DELAWARE: He also looks older than he sez he is. Also he could stand to tape back those ears.

FLORIDA: He's not BAD..none of these guys are really bad. But I have issues with this one's hair. He has Monchichi hair. Also I have to give a big "WTF???" to his penchant for girls in overalls.

GEORGIA: He has better taste in women's clothes than Mr. FL, I'll give him that. But we could never be. Dude, is WAAY to outdoorsy for me.

HAWAII: I got a little melty watching this guy's video. Not from him being ultra-hot bachelor material, but he was just adorable. Mucho sweet. The cynic in me sez he's a li'l too good to be for real. Oh, and does this guy's roomie realize how his girlfriend is raving (& craving) about other dudes??

IDAHO: Yeeeeah..I'm not feelin' it. He could take some pointers from Mr GA on how to pose avec trees.

ILLINOIS: He's cute! In a young Chris O'Donnellish sorta way.

INDIANA: AAAGGHH! Children of the Corn!! Hellllp!! This bad shot makes Mr IN (I wish his name was Gary...and I would commence ta callin' him "Gary Indiana" and inevitably bust lispily out into song) look creepy & evil. But if you watch his video, it is not creepy or evil- seeming...just dull and badly shot.

IOWA: Aww YEAH. He is getting my vote. Not just for being smokin' but he interviews perfectly too!! And he has a hot name. On the negative side, he is quite a young pup (silver lining: makes it much easier to ply him with liquor).

KANSAS: ZZZzzzz

KENTUCKY: More flappy ears

LOUISIANA: VERY cute. Even though he seemed slightly less good looking in his vid, his video was very cute nonetheless--well done and not tiresome like some other submitted vids were. I would like for him to get a haircut though.

MAINE: This guy is 23 with the hair of a 40 year old. He should always, always, ALWAYS wear hats. He was a quite a bit cuter in his video (wearing a hat), but I found the whole thing pretty repugnant. First offence: a rather lenghty montage of his modelling portfolio. Wow. This guy really digs himself. And then it keeps getting worse. He gets in the car and he says he's a really awesome singer and than sings along with some song on the radio he loves (a real lame song, IMO. Demerits for that..) and then afterward he says "Oh I was just kidding, as you can see I'm not that great a singer" but you can SOOO tell that he never once thought for a second he was anything less than SPECTACULAR (especially whilest singing). Then he arrives at the gym and you're treated to a montage of him lifting weights-- not as long as the modelling montage, but long enough to be boorish.

MARYLAND: This guy looked cuter in his video (I think this shot does bad things for his beezer) but he is overall underwhelming.

MASSACHUSSETS: Cute, but...an ab man. Let's move along, shall we?

MICHIGAN: I'm uhh.. confused here. TWO Michigan candidates? Did Michigan win some Cosmo lottery of sorts?? No fair.

MINNESOTA: Aggh!! No. Too toothy, this one.

MISSISSIPPI: This one also has a mean look about him. Maybe not evil. Just mean. Or at least, squinty.

MISSOURI: Another baby face. Unfortunate last name.

MONTANA: Now when I said that many of the videos got tiresome? This is a great example here. I couldn't even watch the whole thing. OK-- you ranch. You're a rancher. We GET IT.

NEBRASKA: A redhead? That's a hard-sell, NE!!

NEVADA: Even if I were to vote for this guy (I wouldn't) a first name of "Keithen" really might make me reconsider...

NEW HAMPSHIRE: Hey! I've been to Newport, NH!! Numerous times!! I very well could've seen this dude on the street and been unimpressed with him in person! WOW.

NEW JERSEY: Cute. He had a pretty good video too, but I feel like he had a bit of an unfair advantage, what with all his professional television personality training.

NEW MEXICO: The land of enchantment. .. this one is fairly enchanting from an aesthetic standpoint, but I found his interview to be offputting. Ambition? Active daytime first dates?? Blecch.

NEW YORK: I was wearing silver hoop earrings while I read that silver hoop earrings turn him on-- O M G!!!

NORTH CAROLINA: Very nice looking fellah. His video was okay, but he didn't seem to know when to end it and I had to give him MAJOR DEMERITS for putting his memories slideshow to Aerosmith's "Don't Wanna Miss a Thing" That is criminally schmaltzy. I can't forgive that.

NORTH DAKOTA: Tied for 2nd with Louisiana. Super cute and terrif interview. Wish he'd submitted a vid!!

OHIO: This guy's pic didn't impress me, but his video did. He RAPS!! Granted, he sounds a lot like Dr Evil when he raps, but it's very creative and he put a lot of effort into it. Perhaps he feels a lot of pressure due to Cosmo Bachelor 2007 winner being from Ohio. Oh, and his quote about women?? Good stuff, Mr OH. Mr OH 2007 ain't got nuttin' on you, if ya ask yours truly!!

OKLAHOMA: Blonde, bland, named Lance. Pass!

OREGON: It would have behooved him to not submit a video. I suspect that German fellow is his b.f.

PENNSYLVANIA: Niiiice.

RHODE ISLAND: Aww, this guy NAILED the interview. Tricky name though.

SOUTH CAROLINA: "Tribble" can NOT be his honest-to-God, printed on the birth certificate name. No way. Watching this guy's video made me feel tipsy. Ahhh, college.

SOUTH DAKOTA: Hmmm..not crazy about the tatt

TENNESSEE: This guy's video is a hoot.It really doesn't play up his foxy bacheloriness (he is rather foxy though) but I really appreciate how he seems to have no qualms whatsoever in making an ass out of himself. It's endearing, kinda. Also, I wanna meet his little bro...his voice reminds me of that little Caleb boy on American Gothic.

TEXAS: Mehh.

UTAH: ZZZzzz

VERMONT: Though I'm not voting for him, I am proud of my state's 2008 candidate. Our 2006 & 2007 picks were nuthin' special. This guy, while not numero uno, can't say as I'd kick him outta bed for eatin' crackers either...

VIRGINIA: Yaaaawn.

WASHINGTON: OK

WEST VIRGINIA: Sez here this guy is a "UPS Staffer" Which probably means he works in the office. I presume that simply because it would just be too much of a dream-come-true to have this guy as your friendly neighborhood UPS driver. Can you just imagine? Trying not to stare at his package while you sign for yours? YES, this guy would be a quite welcome substitute for the plain ol' schmoes UPS sends me on a daily basis.

WISCONSIN: A very cute young cub.

WYOMING: Oh, a pipeline worker? Really, for real? [Insert obligatory pipe-laying joke here] This guy seems a bit skeezy to me..

Old Dan Tucker...

.. was a mighty man. Washed his face in a frying pan. Combed his hair with a wagon wheel. Died with a toothache in his heel!!

I never did get to bake a pie today. Mostly on account of my sleeping in so damn late (and having to be at my sister's by 4:30). Just didn't have time. But I did find a recipe to use and wrote up a list of needed ingredients. So I'll get it done tomorrow...

I did watch some of the mma fights tonight. The main event wound up being Kimbo Slice vs Seth Petruzelli and not Slice vs Ken Shamrock as previously planned. I'll bet Kimbo is--in retrospect--miffed about that change of plans. It took all of 14 SECONDS for Petruzelli to take him out . It was pretty rad, I must say. The ref said "Start fightin'!!" and Kimbo advanced, trying to back Petruzelli into the wall and P shifted into offense somethin' FIERCE. 2 kicks and then he got Kimbo down on the mat with a jab to..the chin, I think it was. Then he pinned him down and kept on drilling him in the head. And shortly thereafter the ref called TKO & victory for Petruzelli.

I didn't think Slice would be defeated--partly because of his weight advantage, but mostly due to how very SCARY he looks. But I was pleased to be mistaken. Kimbo Slice bugs me. Also, the winner has the same 1st name as my nephew, plus he had these cool pink patches in his hair . And I thought the goofy victory prance he did around the cage was utterly charming. But I think I'm in the minority on this...just judging from crowd response. It was predominately booing.

Check out the heavyweight champ on the Elite XC website. Having not seen this dude (Silva) fight, I'm going to presume his top skill is being able to withstand any & all blows to the chin. The dude's head is a good 85% chinnage...it's astounding.

Later I watched SNL. Musical guest was the Killers. I had forgotten how much I dig them. There's something very herky-jerky and David Byrne-esque in the way Brandon Flowers performs. I was thinking he was looking a bit gaunt, though. Like, I recall finding him rather foxy in the "Mr Brightside' vid, but he wasn't all that I remembered him being. But I dig their music & they sure do put on a show. That's what matters. I'd love to go to a Killers concert.

Other highlights of this SNL-- I found Anne Hathaway to be a quite capable host --in particular she was very cute & funny as Mary Poppins. The digital short was decent. The one thing that really cracked my shit up (nearly woke my sister up w/ my laughing) was Andy Samberg doing "Mark Wahlberg Talks to Animals" Very simple premise, but it was so weird & goofy that it really slayed me. I SO wish I had a vid to post!! Perhaps in a few days...

mad random randomness

I watched the movie Waxwork last night. It was horribly cheesy..I rather liked it. I like Deborah Foreman, and tend to dig her movies. Her character in this one came down with this bizarro fixation on the Marquis de Sade. Yyyikes! I think you're average outsider of the 80s you're apt to listen to lots of Joy Division, have posters of Robert Smith or Morrissey or somethin' but ...the Marquis? Daaamn! Gee, that's ummm..yeah...pretty flippin' dark.

I went to a wax museum once upon a time. It was House of Frankenstein in Lake George, NY (which is apparently still operational). As you mighta surmised from the name, it was a wax museum of the "spooky" variety. You'd think, as I was just 7 or 8 yrs old, that the folks would take me to one of the "Madame Tussaud's" variety, with facsimiles of top celebs in bland & nonthreatening poses. Or skip wax museums entirely, if the only one in town is going to get me pants-shittin' scared (I didn't--for the record-- shit my pants. I don't know why. I surely could have. Must've toured the House o' F-stein prior to lunch) But these were the parents who thought it was fine for me to watch The Birds at age 6. That movie gave me recurring nightmares! No wonder I'm such a skittish lass today(a skittish lass who doesn't take too kindly to birds). Anyways, I don't remember much specifically about the displays, just that they were pretty heavy on the gore. The first few freaked me out so much that I was walking with my head down & holding my sister's hand. I fixed my gaze on the floor & said to Laura " I'm not going to look" But she would be all "Oh HEY ...this one's not bad!!" And I would look and be horrified by a blood-spattered chainsaw murderer holding up a severed head or some such grisly tableau. And Laura would laugh her ass off when she fooled me this way...and probably I fell for it more times than I should admit. Older sisters are big meanies.

Speaking of big meanies*.. I think I want to watch the EliteXC fights tomorrow night. Or at least DVR it. I'm going to bake an apple pie or two tomorrow and then baby sit the kiddos, so not sure when I can fit the fight in. Anyways about the EliteXC crew...aforementioned big meanies...I found myself, fixated on perusing this site. It's naughty of me to generalize, but I was surprised to see so many fighters that have college degrees (supposedly, according to their site bio) Also, it surprised me how many pretty faces were found in this crew. If I were so good looking, I would not want to subject my face to regular fist pummellings of great force and frequency. And let's not forget cauliflower ear. Of course, there was a number of nonsurprises-- dudes who look like they've definitely been incarcerated (at least once!). Yep, I don't care what it sez in their bios, some of these dudes have fer sure seen the innards of the hoosegow.

This guy is my favorite. James Thompson--he was in the first & only mme fight I've seen (that silly ass-clown Kimbo Slice beated him, I'm afraid) and I thought he was foxy then too (minus the cauliflower ear).

He hails from Manchester (Manchester England, England. Across the Atlantic Seeea) and he has a hot accent. Well, he'd be hot without the hot accent (and lots hotter sans ear deformity) but the thuggy Brit accent is a nice bonus. I think I wrote about him in a previous post, but I don't think I'd read at that point, his bio on the EliteXC site. I was particularly intrigued by the final line of it, which read "Prior to his professional fighting career, James worked as a debt collector and Gypsy remover." Now the debt collector thing, well if that ="repo man" well, then that would add cool points to his resume. But don't tell me he's one of those credit card company asswipes that call me constantly. "Your account is delinquent Ms. LeeeMYRE..." Fuck that...if he was that brand of debt collector, I'll get in the damn ring with him myself. Bastard. Although, Gypsy Remover is undeniably a cool credit to have in your work history repertoire. Is there a big market for Gypsy removal nowadays? Is Manchester overrun with Gypsies? Hmmm...

To suddenly & entirely switch topics on y'all-- DESKTOP PICTURES.

Here's one I had put on my parent's PC because it rather amused me, plus I thought it might annoy my dad that I was futzing around with his computer settings unbidden. Anyways, the pic:

Oh that ZANY feline!! Don't he know that birds can't digest frankfurters??

I can't put a pic on my desktop at work (stupid fascists won't let me express meself) but if I right click an image and select "Set as Background" my computer will show that image when shutting down & also when it logs me off (if you're idle for --it's either 10 or 15 min--the system will boot you out of Windows...it's some dumb HIPPA privacy dealie) . So I recently changed my background to this neat Bob Peake illustration:

Because I love the pop art/ Yellow Submarine vibe here. Well, he had some other work with that same flava, but I selected this particular one because it's an ad for travelling Europe and I would love to explore Europe .

I raved in a post earlier this year about what marvelous illustration scans leifpeng has put up on his flickr page, and to me, Bob Peake is definitely one of the stand-out illustrators featured therein.

In other "good things" news... after extensive taste-testing, I have conclusively determined that THESE are the finest chocolate covered donuts on the market. Believe it. It's an empirically proven truth. An irrefutable FACT. Hostess Donettes are shit-- comparatively speaking.

Oh fiddlesticks!! I can't believe I didn't mention all the to-do goin' down at work. While I am still, secretly,slowly (ineffectually) working at getting a better job, my current job is changing. Our Wilder office ( the HR, IT, Finance & Marketing departments for the agency) is merging with our office (W Lebanon) in our location. Well, the Wilder office currently has a front desk/ receptionist/ clerical flunkie and that just so happens to be my lot in life in the Lebanon office. So that made me nervous--understandably. Well, about 2weeks ago (yeah, I'm pretty negligent in spreading the news, eh?) Cathy & Shawna pulled me in Shawna's office for a meeting, the gist of which was-- when all the Wilder folk come over, Kathy (my Wilder counterpart) is going to be the receptionist/flunkie, etc. and I'm going to be the assistant to Cathy (my boss that I don't care for...refresh your memory here). They're still hashing out the job title. I requested that it be something fancy. Job title's printed on my ID badge, so I suppose I'll have to get a new one done...and that one will have --god willing-- a better pic of me. Let's hope so. And hopefully it will be emblazoned with something more impressive than "OFFICE SPECIALIST". Ugh..I deplore that title. I would guess it will wind up being "Assistant to the Regional Director". Perhaps I will morph into a real Dwight Shrute sort of right-hand character and will continually try to snip out those 2 pesky words so I can be: "Assistant Regional Director".

Of course, if I really am going to be Shrute, than I am going to have to befriend Cathy (utterly adore her, if I want to emulate accurately, but I barely like her at this point so let's not set our sights too high, eh?) Actually, since I've got the news, I've been trying extra hard to like Cathy. Maybe I'll make a pie just for her. No , that's way too brownnosey..I wouldn't be able to pull it off without gagging at myself. But amongst peers, I really do feel you cannot underestimate the power of a goodwill gesture. Probably I learned that from Roxanny, who is now one of my nearest &dearest, but I remember when she started working with me, I totally paid her no mind. She was just some new coworker and I pretty much ignored her. And one day she totally stunned me by just buying me a coffee cake, apropos of nothin'. I took the bait and now we're great pals. But no, a spontaneous gifting of num-nums to my boss would be most unbecoming (to me anyways....I abhor asskissery). Although I would not object to her lavishing gifts on me. In fact, I think her taking me shopping would be a terrific means of bonding . She has loads more money than me anyways. Why not foot the bill for me to be outfitted in threads befitting my new station?? I mean, I haven't ever broken dress code while working at the VNA, but there have been a few occasions --4 or 5 perhaps-- where I've dressed as schlumpily as possible without technically breaking code. Now, she should NOT have to deal with having a sartorial embarrassment for an assistant...and..incidentally, the lady is moderately $loaded$(I suspect) so there you have it. She should take me on a Saturday expedition to the outlets and we would come back just like Shrute & Scott. Maybe even more simpatico..depending how much moolah she shills out.

Ah well, I'd best be off to bed or else I'll drop off to sleep whilest baking tomorrow and do a faceplant in the pie fillin' "Umm, yes..this pie is indeed delicious except I got a slice with what I think is a nosehair in it..."

*That was a glorious segue if I do say so meself.

Happy Bday Clive-O

Clive Owen turns 44 today. I can deal with the 13 year age difference. I couldn't for just anyone, but for him-- HELLS yeah. I can't deal with the Mrs. sooo..he's going to give her the boot before we can commence our epic romance.

I am not pleased with the headshot in his IMDB bio (here). It's a screen cap from Gosford Park, and even though he was maad fine in that flick (I mean, he's the primary reason I bought that DVD) the screen cap doesn't quite capture it. He is looking a'right, but is by no means at optimum hotness there.

I posted this vid earlier this year (I was diverted by it when I was 'sposed to be job hunting) but Clive's b-day is a good excuse to share it again....

See more funny videos at Funny or Die

Sting turns 57 today. I wish I’d known in advance. I woulda sent him a Happy Birthday message (in a bottle). I heart Sting. It’s downright unfathomable that he is eligible for AARP . He is still so hubba hubba!!

Almost caught up on my Thurs night season premieres...this is what I watched on my sister's DVR...

1/2 of Ugly Betty..or maybe 1/3...I'm starting to grow apathetic toward that show.

My Name is Earl-- I thought he got married at the end of last season..when did he get the divorce in?? I don't REALLY give a rat's arse, but I was perplexed. I 'spose it's too bad.. Alyssa Milano coulda used the steady work..

The Office-- That proposal was the most romantic thing. It made me mew verklemptishly. It was actually sort of a twitterpated-verklempt hybrid which is a damned complex feeling to impart via mewing. It was a rather nuanced mew. I just love John Krasinski. If I were to read one day that he's dating one of the Pussycat Dolls or a Victoria's Secret model, I would have to...I dunno...just show him the error of his ways , I suppose (Annie Wilkes style).

For some unfathomable reason, Laura failed to DVR Grey's Anatomy. I hafta catch that...sooner rather than later would be preferable.

You carried the watermelon--advance 5 spaces

I saw this at Borders and did a double take. It's a damn good thing I wasn't savoring one of their delightful cafe beverages at the moment, as I would've certainly done a spit take, spewing skim mocha latte all over the stupid thing and then I woulda had to buy it!! (Is there really any store that stands by the you break-it-you-buy-it motto? Was there any store that ever did? I have always half-suspected that that was a phony-baloney store law made up by the U.S. Mommy's Union as a means of keeping their kids' grubby mitts off of everything in the store. But really, I've never had the guts to see if my suspicion was right or not. Which is not to say I've never broken anything in a store. I sure as hell haven't owned up to it....

But ANYWHOOO...back to this wackadoo game... I love Johnny & Baby and their epic saga as much as the next chick, but c'mon folks--really? So that scraping noise was us hitting the very bottom of the ol' idea barrel, eh??

I guess it's not really crazy to base a board game on a movie. I mean, it ain't no thing when I see a High School Musical Game being sold at WalMart--it barely registers. But, y'see any girl from grade 2 through their tween years is just gaga for that HSM shit, soo, that's just good capitalism. But is there really a big demand for Dirty Dancing merchandise, 20+ years after the film's release?? If there is such a demand, I'd be shocked. Possibly it's an underground movement...

Hey, not that I'd ever play anything so foolish but...I would totally kick everyone's ass at this game. No...scratch that..a more ferocious triumph...I would kick everyone's asses and then do the pachanga on their sad, defeated asses!! Yes indeedy.

P.O.S. ride

My car keeps doing this thing where I start it up and then if I drive it a little ways (less than a mile) and then stop (like at the STOP sign at the end of my road for instance) it will SHUT DOWN. It restarts without any problem and then after I get going for a bit, it doesn't do it anymore (at subsequent stops--traffic lights & such..). It did it 3 times at lunch today. When I got to the end of the parking lot, turning out onto the street, and then twice in the fucking Taco Bell drive-thru.

Y'see the symptom itself is damned vexing (obviously), but what makes it even more maddening is that this only happens periodically. I'll have it happen once, and then for the rest of the week, or even for 2 weeks after, it'll run perfectly. And so then the breakdown seems like a fluke, and this works well with my natural tendency to take a "ignore-it-and-it-will-go-away" approach to issues. But then, invariably, it will happen AGAIN, the bastard will have itself a G.D. relapse and I'm all " Arrgh, there's no way around it...there is some kinda PROBLEM with this shitheap."

I mean I should just deduce from the way the thing often sounds (note the word "often"..the audible symptoms are periodic also) that it has sickly innards.

The f-er chirps like Chitty Chitty Bang when I start it up, and then after shutting it down, it ticks and pings for a good 5 minutes afterward like the Griswolds' Family Truckster. (That's the Wagon Queen Family Truckster, to be entirely accurate)

I'm so glad Heroes is back!! Seems like it's been on hiatus for YEARS. In fact, I'm questioning how well I recollect the last episode of last season. I thought we had wound up with Clare thinking her dad was dead. But when HRG came home, she was all "Oh, Dad you're home!" but not "HOLY SHIT--You're ALIVE???" Relieved, but not amazed, y'know? What did I miss?? WTF??

I was glad to see Elle back. She's all at a loss now that she's been canned, but really, considering the bosslady, she's just lucky she didn't get killed or imprisoned. I thought that was amazingly magnanimous of Mama Petrelli...and then seconds later she starts cooing over Sylar & petting him and I'm ALL sorts of perplexed by that 180. Oh, and speaking of Sy...my hands-down fave moment of the 2parter season premier was when Clare asked Sylar if he was going to eat her brain and he goes "It's YOUR BRAIN, Clare. That's disgusting." that made me chortle.

Curious about that dude that Peter is stuck inside...what was he in the Company hoosegow for? What's his power? He looks like your run-of-the-mill Crip to me, I dunno. Also, if the Freaky Friday laws of soul swappage are to be observed, ya gotsta wonder where that guy's sould wound up. Is it sharing space with Sweet Pete's soul? Or did FuturePete stash it in an empty mayo jar for safekeeping??

During the recap/countdown show, I caught a glimpse of the dude that plays Mohinder (I was only 1/2 paying attention to that) and I thought he looked rather fetching. That slicked-back 'do doesn't work on just anybody, but it looked good on him. And the suit was fly. But then, watching the premier eps, I was reminded what a drip I think Mohinder is. I thought he might be slightly more interesting with powers, but he had to be all dorkily overeager about it. Ah, well, I suppose the acquisition of superpowers is perfectly adequate reason for overeagerness. But I just can't stomach Mohinder for some reason. I was briefly intrigued when it showed he'd developed some kinda hyper-libido (that tramp had just been waiting for that,hadn't she? That was a very ravage-ready outfit she had on.. I don't like her either..they're the perfect couple) But soon after he's all "Yeee-ikes!! What-is-HAPPENING-to-MEEE??" and ripping molty carbuncles off his back (and a loser again)

That roadrunner character (the thief whom Hiro tailed to France-- so unimpressive, I cannot be bothered to recall the character's name) was too cartoony..even for a cartoonish show like Heroes. I hope she doesn't have a big part in this Season.

I hope they don't waste a ton of time getting Parkman out of the desert. Granted, I adore Parkman (probably ties w/ Sweet Pete for title of my 2nd fave character) and I'm SO in favor of him getting more screen time. However, if Hiro's adventures in 16th ce. Japan are any indication, than heroes transporting into fantastical realms= SNOOZZZZE.