Saturday, December 29, 2007

Seems to me like Chet Fitch would have been a great guy to know....

Friday, December 28, 2007

a "must-see" site

I was fortunate enough today to stumble on to a really excellent site. It's and it's a compendium of excellent, beautiful, sad, poignant, fun and compelling photography. Those adjectives really cover the whole gamut but I didn't mention their one unifying trait-- they're all OLD photos. Some from the early 1900s, quite a lot from the '30s. The newest ones I spied were from the mid 50s. I haven't perused the entire collection by any means but I looked at a lot of the images and all the ones I saw were hi-res scans, very high quality images. Usually I have no problem sharing "borrowed" images I'd snagged from somewhere out on the 'net, but I find I am reluctant to post here an example pic found on Shorpy. Just feels like I'd be stealing not just images but credit from somebody who's input TONS of hard work thereby putting out a truly top notch site.
So I won't post any pics. Instead I'll just urge you to go check it out post haste, my friends...

Celeb Splitsville

Just today read that Sean Penn & Robin Wright Penn are getting a divorce. SHOCKER. And I really don't mean that in a sarcastic way (like in the smartass way I used it in response to the recent Jamie Lynn Spears pregnancy news)

I am truly surprised they're splitting. Not only does 11 years together qualify as superhuman marital longevity (in Hollywood) but the Mrs even tacked his last name on to hers. Think about infrequent is that in that biz?? These actresses get married and...I don't know what the rationale is behind it...but they NEVER change their names. Like take for example one of the most recently wed in H'wood...Katherine Heigl. If she changes her name (and I don't mean legally..I mean publicly, as in her name in her movie & TV billings) to Katherine Kelley I will eat my effing hat. And y'know, it's a quite large-ish stovepipe with all manner of tough-to-digest ornamentation on it (if that tells ya how emphatic I am). I don't know why they never do it...I don't think it's that all actresses find it outdatedly traditional. Seems more likely that with all their varied legal entanglements / contractual obligations it's just a colossal pain in the ass to do a name change. Or maybe said contractual obligations actually prohibit a public name change ? I suppose that's more plausible than Katherine Heigl saying to herself "Katherine Kelley...though it has the alliteration goin''s just not CATCHY enough. Plus 'Heigl' is so rad and German-sounding" or "Gawwwsh ...if I change mah name to Katherine Kelley...NOBODY WILL KNOW WHO THAT IS!!" Now that would mean the vast majority of celebs are just exceedingly vapid & superficial. Ahh, well that's pretty plausible also, I guess...

Anyways Robin made the rare gesture of taking on her hubby's name. That sure seemed an auspicious sign to me. And 11 years & 2 offspring...also seemed to be favorable omens. Although ... I was puzzled & alarmed by Sean's mysterioso involvement in Eve's arrest drama this past April. I mean, Sean visiting her was really the only intriguing detail in that news item (c'mon.. it was a celeb DUI arrest!! There's like 5 of those a week! Were I a gamblin' gal, I'd start up an office pool, betting on which celebs would next be booked for DUI. Can't you just picture it? "I got $50. on Mickey Rooney and $25 on Nancy McKeon!!" But I digress..) And as soon as I read that bit I thought..."Hmmm...has Sean been gettin' a little somethin'-somethin' on the side?" Of course...I only thought this to myself because I got the feeling that if I were to actually say such a thing...somehow, as a result of my comment, Sean Penn would track me down wherever I was and punch me in the face. It's been quite a while since I've read of Mr Penn being in a physical altercation but still...he still seems very much that type, don't he?? I was irritated , when the E! Online article makes mention of that Eve connection, it sez :
"Penn raised eyebrows in April when he appeared at a Hollywood police station in the wear hours to comfort Eve following her DUI arrest. "
That's a copy-and-paste right there--EXACTLY how they wrote it. I'd like to know, Josh Grossberg, esteemed author of the "Penn, Wright Splitsville" article, what precisely are these "wear hours" you speak of?? I guess I am not familiar with this figure of speech. Also it's noted that this news item was posted around 7am 12/28 so there's been ample time to proofread this...provided you imbeciles know what proofreading is....

Grammatical righteous indignation aside, it's good (thorough reporting) that they mentioned soon as I heard tell of this divorce I thought back to that Eve news item from earlier in the year and recalled how it--as Josh wrote--raised my eyebrow. Or raised both my eyebrowS, I mean. Well, see, I had wanted to raise just one of 'em ...specifically my left (in that cool manner popularized by Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson. Ohhhh how I adore thee, Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson...) but I've yet to master the single brow raise, damn it.

Even with the whole "Eve mystery" lurking in the periphery of this tale, I am still quite surprised by the split. In fact, I have not been this shaken by the dissolution of a star-marriage since the nasty '93 bust-up of Burt & Loni.

However, in my perfunctory research on Mr Penn, I picked up some interesting biographical trivia (the thrill of finding a decent trivia-nugget dulls my shock somewhat ) It was pretty widely known that Sean had a famous younger brother (Chris Penn-- awesome as "Nice Guy"Eddie in Reservoir Dogs/ died tragically in Jan 2006) but his older bro is famous too. Uhh, somewhat famous, I should say. Remember the late 80s one hit wonder "No Myth"?? Well the singer who gave us that li'l gem is Michael Penn--older brother of the aforementioned Sean & Chris. Also Michael Penn happens to be married to Aimee Mann (of "'Til Tuesday" fame). I guess that's less surprising, as it seems like burnt-out 80s popsters have a penchant for pairing off and getting hitched (a la Wham's Andrew Ridgely & one o' the chicks from Bananarama)

Not that you asked me, but I quite prefer Mann's big hit (Voices Carry) over her hubby's. It's not that I'm exceedingly keen on "Voices Carry" but "No Myth" has always mildly irked me. After reading the lyrics, I can see how the dude has a way with words that makes me want to like the song but the fact remains that I just don't. I know if the song were to come on the radio right now (well, I'm not presently listening to the radio, but let's pretend I am) it would take all of a half nanosecond for my hand to shoot out & change the station (or at least turn the volume low). I'm pretty sure it has something to do with that oft repeated chorus and the personal connotations it evokes in me.

"What if I were Romeo in black jeans
What if I were Heathcliff, it's no myth
Maybe she's just looking for
someone to dance with"
Sartorially speaking, it was sooo not a great idea to reiterate one's penchant for black jeans. So there you have it...I hear that line and my mind's eye flashes on a dude in black jeans and right at the outset of the chorus my reflex is..."ick" Although to be fair, it coulda been much worse. It was the 80s, Penn conceivably coulda mentioned ACID WASHED JEANS. That would be beyond "mildly irritating"(as I currently rate the song) and earn the tune the "downright vile" classification.
Now our next line is about Heathcliff. For the record, I AM literate enough to know that that's a Wuthering Heights reference. And y'all know how I appreciate a well-read fellah. Just the same...I can't help it...I think of the CAT Heathcliff. You know the one: "Heathcliff, Heathcliff, no one should terrify their neighborhood..."
The last two lines of the chorus are innocuous enough but not powerful enough to purge from my noggin thoughts of some mysterious ill-dressed dude (possibly making bad jeans worse by wearing a poofy Shakespearian blouse) and that skid row Garfield knock-off.

Feliz Navi-blaaah

So the holidays are done with (I suppose not officially until Jan 2, but it's not as if I have any BIG happenings in the hopper for New Years') and I'm relieved and morose at the same time. I love Christmas : the music, the decorations, the movies (did I mention my "Christmas Story" tape is MIA?? Luckily I was able to get my annual fix on TBS on Christmas Eve) and of course (in the most idyllic of moments) the widespread goodwill to be had/given.

Sooo lemme see...quickie Xmas recap....quick as I can manage...

We had a Christmas Eve party at my parents' house that went pretty well. Personally,I was too busy hostessing to Wang Chung to my full potential, but I still had a nice time (as did pretty much everyone, far as I could tell)

My favorite gift was (from my parents) this iPod docking set-one for home and one for the car with an FM transmitter (for simultaneous charging & playing) Y'know that iPod was sort of half-heartedly asked for (it was getting close to my b-day and my wishlist was looking rather I added it) it was like "Sure I'd like one, but it's not an urgent MUST- HAVE" But since I've gotten it...I'm rather fixated on it. Definitely my fave toy. I'm such a music fiend anyways...I can't fathom now why I'd not rated it a "MUST-HAVE".

My 2nd fave thing (also from the folks) was a small gift of CASH (of course I am much too genteel to impart here the dollar amount) Not only was that much appreciated, it was sorely needed. In fact the coming weeks are going to have to be a period of financial recouperation for me. Uggh.

Now my sister,who is usually apt to trump my parents when it comes to gift giving...failed to dazzle this year. Shit. I feel like a horrible, terrible INGRATE typing that. But I can confide my feelings here, unseemly though they may be, right?? Virtually nobody reads this thang anyhow (that is, unless I mention CLAY AIKEN. Holy HELL...I said something a wee bit disparaging about that dude back in Feb and yyyeee-ikes!!! I brought down the wrath o' the masses on my poor head...and HOW!) She gave me all this stuff I liked...yet nothing I really wanted, y'know? For instance, she got me some good makeup..I like fact, I already have a buttload of it (though, you wouldn't know it by lookin' at me most days...I generally save the "war paint" for my sporadic social engagements). I'd go on but... already I'm feeling so critical and mean and ungrateful.... let's just move on, eh?

This year we flipped the Christmas Day script and we all converged at Laura & Greg's (well that we have done for several years now...I've yet to touch on the "flipped" part of the script...) for the first time ever with Greg's sister, bro-in-law & their 3kids. And instead of sitting around the dining room table to eat ("family style") as we have in years past , Laura set up the dining room table as a buffet table and we fixed our plates and took 'em to various sectors of the casa to eat-- the kitchen island, the sectional, etc. I mean, the whole downstairs of that house is open plan, so it's not as antisocial as it sounds. I liked it. I think change is good. I think maybe people get too rooted in "holiday tradition" and let it all get to be rote. Or at least I think I have anyways. That's not to say folks should...y'know...PISS ON TRADITION altogether. But there is definitely something to be said for mixin' it up a bit. It's good to find new ways to honor the old observances, don't you think? The balance of old & new...that whole dynamic reminds me of the old Girl Scout song...the one about your silver friends and your gold friends? It was sung in a "round". Oh you know the one. You's singing it in your head right now.

Oh... and we have always had HAM for our Xmas repast. This year it was ham and turkey. That tweaking of tradition was yummy as hell, yo.

Thursday, December 27, 2007

OHHH the weather outside is frightful

Yuck...I no wanna drive home in this blasted snow. DAMN IT. Maybe I will loiter around and shop until the snow dies down and/or there is minimal traffic on the roads. I am somehow more at ease driving in foul weather when the roads are more or less empty.

Stay tuned to this same Batchannel for an Xmas recap tomorrow...'kay?

WOOT the hell???

I was mightily disappointed to learn the popular pic for Merriam Webster's 2007 Word of the Year...

Woot?? That's the word of the year? What are we, OWLS?? (Speaking of owls, my cousin was showing these photos around on Christmas Eve of her hubby handling this owl they found in their barn. Everybody was all awed & admiring over it 'cept yours truly. I have a general aversion to birds to begin with but..owls are uber-creepy. I would notsomuch as touch an owl, forget holding it like Philip did. What a crazy mo-fo. That is not normal owl behavior. That owl had to either be a magic owl (probably some superhero or Stevie Nicks in owl guise) OR just plain ol' brain damaged. )

Back to my dismay over the 2007 Word of the Year pick... If we HAD to go with a trendy buzz word type of word, I would've accepted "blamestorming". Not only is "w00t" a shitty and underwhelming word, what's worse is..I believe its origins are in texting lingo. I kinda detest all e- jargon like that-- LOL , LMAO, etc.

Oh, in other disappointing vote result news.. I missed the Cosmo 2007 Bachelor of the year results. It's not that I wasn't looking. Y'all know how freakily obsessed I was with that vote that one week. But they NEVER posted it on the Cosmo web site. I suppose you actually have to buy /subscribe to the lousy rag. Bleccch. Not moi. Anyways a smidgeon of googling learned me that our 2007 winner is Mr Ohio. NOT one of my picks. I certainly find this guy aesthetically pleasing, but... his write-up is somewhat underwhelming, I thought.

Monday, December 24, 2007


Daaamn is it creepy in this place when the shop floor is all closed down and dark. Total horror flick atmosphere!! It's fortunate that I only have to traverse a small area of the shop to get to the ladies room or else I might be intimidated into withholding pee. That ain't good for ya, y'know.

35minutes left before I bust outta here. That should be enough time to do my nails. I did bring speedi-dry polish (more specifically it's -Rimmel 60 Seconds Vinyl Shine in "Torrid" Hot name for a nail polish color, ain't it??)

the Day B4 the Night B4 Xmas

AND I'M AT WORK!! BAH! Isn't that just BOLLOCKS???

Our co. is officially closed on certain holidays-- day after T-giving, Christmas Eve Day, New Year's Eve Day-- but they think we need to have some customer service & tech support presence in house (I dunno why...for our Kwanzaa-celebrating customers or somethin') so a few people have to volunteer to come in on those days. Sort of "mandatorily volunteer". Well, I begged out of the day after Thanksgiving and I had thought that I had big New Year's plans so I'd given a resounding NO-CAN-DO for Dec 31. And that is how& why of me being in my cubicle on Dec 24.

Honestly, I REALLY can use the extra $$ (you get paid time & a half for working these days) and I know I'm escaping a faaar more stressful job (helping my folks prep for our annual Christmas Eve party) so essentially I'm ok with it. But still, it does bug me because it's totally a pointless gesture to have us here today. It's about 11:15am right now...I've been here since 8am...I've had 5 calls and two of those were wrong numbers. Plus, everybody in the plant is off...that's including shipping so even if someone had an urgent order they needed out today, they would call in, and first off, be ever so relieved to find someone working, just to have me hafta tell them "D'ohhh, SORRY, we can't ship nuttin' out 'til Dec 26th, sirrrr." Es stupido. Muy stupido.

News flash y'all.. my esteemed coworker Laurel just got notified that we're getting let outta here at 2pm rather than 5pm as initially planned . Getting released early for good behavior, I guess. Actually they are closing down /locking up the facility at 2pm, so it really has naught to do with our behavior, good or otherwise. After all, I don't know that I've been that great. "Idle hands are the devil's tools" they say. I don't think I was here a half hour before I started streaming online vids. And that right there, in this company, is the HEIGHT of diabolical behavior. Might as well share some o' my transgressions with you's guys...

I wish I had a bottle of THIS to help me through the remaining 2 hrs of my workday...

THIS one goes out to mah homey Jill. 'Tis some FUNNY SHIT.
But seriously , I rather like this may not be traditional hip-hop but it's awesome nonetheless.

For some reason, the NBC site embed feature wasn't working for those other vids, but seems to work fine on this one...a modern holiday classic that really needs no introduction...

This is also a modern holiday classic. I am generally a big fan of the holidays but they do get me frazzled at times...sooo...definitely there are moments when I am totally simpatico with this song...

Ohhh but damn it, I don't wanna give the wrong impression. I'm not all anti-Christmas like so many jaded bastards out there. I'm only like 2% anti-Christmas and the rest of me is chuck-a-block with Yuletide cheer. Seriously. But that song cracks my shit up. Still, I want to end my Christmas Eve Day post on an upbeat note, so...

If your flagging Christmas spirit is in need of bolstering, I highly recommend THIS Christmas special. I found a VHS of this at Family Dollar a few years ago and snatched it up (for like $4.99). Tragically, said VHS tape is MIA right now, but just watching that trailer consoles me a smidgeon...

Friday, December 21, 2007

OK, so I've never been 100% certain on the meaning of "IRONY"

... but I think this defines it aptly.

upcoming movies of note

I kinda wanna see Nim's Island. It kind of goes without saying, because Gerard Butler is in Nim's Island and generally I am game for seeing anything with GB in it. Nearly anything. I am avoiding PS I Love You because I don't think I could withstand an entire movie of the magnificent Gerard Butler being eternally devoted to -ugggh--Hilary Swank. Oscar wunderkind or not, that chick is Mr Ed in a dress and I find her inexplicably irritating.

And y'know, I generally avoid Jodi Foster too (who costars in Nims) but after watching the trailer (use above link) I am inclined to think it's because I've never watched her in a comedic role. She seems such a serious type that it works to watch her in a comedic role that sort of plays off/makes light of her Type A qualities. Most of her fare is pretty serious and coupled with her innate seriousness it just makes for an offputting viewing experience...for me anyhow. It's just on gravitas, y'know?? It harshes my mellow. Looking at her IMDB dossier, it looks like she hasn't done anything funny since the 80s...oh wait there was Maverick. That was an uncharacteristic "fluff" film for her. And honestly, Nell was pretty amusing too, but I am certain it wasn't supposed to be.

Anyways, Nim's looks cute. Maybe I'll take Chloe and/or Seth to see it. Trailer gets bonus points for the announcer's correct pronunciation of "Gerard" (I mean, I don't think it's a tough name, but it was utterly botched in the P.S. I Love You trailer)

Another promising flick on the 2008 slate-- Forgetting Sarah Marshall . I confess I am susceptible to the lowbrowish humor of Judd Apatow. Also, I think Jason Segel is very worthy of snagging a starring movie role. He was SOOO smarmily hilarious in Knocked Up. Also he's quite good on How I Met Your Mother...which I watch only occasionally. But--off-the-cuff observation on that show-- the supposed lead of that show is the most boring character on there. Well, it's a guy named "Ted" so I suppose that's to be expected. The name "Ted" just OOOZES boring-ness. OK, to be fair, the Robin character is equally dull. Even Bob Saget narrating is more interesting than those two. Alyson Hannigan-always endearing. And it goes without saying--NPH is a SUPAH STAAAAH.

Get Smart looks funny. I love Steve Carrell. The part in the teaser-trailer where he throws the phone?? Hys-friggin-sterical!!!

My Blueberry Nights looks intriguing. Most of all, I'm curious to see how Norah Jones does as an actress. But that "Limited Release" label is BAD NEWS. Por moi, that basically means--SOL catching it in the theater--gotta wait & rent it.

Thursday, December 20, 2007

Fa la la la la la laaa etc. etc.

The past few years I have made and mass distributed a mix of Christmas music. This was beginning in 2002 ,although I skipped 2005 for some reason...or well, I guess I did have a reason, that being I was SURE I had used up every good holiday song imaginable. Retrospectively, it seems I just needed to put a little extra oooomph into tune acquisition because in 2006 I came up with a decent roster of new material. And then this year I put out not one (not seven) but TWO quality Christmas tune CDs (with a *few* songs from prev. years...but primarily it's all new stuff).

I like the notion of a homemade/mass produced holiday gift (you know, for those people who you feel you ought to give somethin' to but you don't really wanna shop my landlords and cousins I'm not close to) and the popular option for such a gift is COOKIES. And I'm not going to knock my baking abilities (I gots MAAAD kitchen skillz, yo) but cookies on that, no thanks. Rather a messy pain in the ass, methinks.

Did two CDs this year because some of my picks just could not reside on the same CD no matter how artfully I ordered the tracks? The Chipmunks on the same CD as "Angels We Have Heard on High"? Seems WRONG.

My CDs are as follows....

Mix 1-- TRADITIONAL CHRISTMAS SONGS ( I love the real traditional, religous Christmas music. A really well performed choral piece gives me the a good way, of course)

1. Hark! The Herald Angels Sing--Arthur Godfrey & chorus. [ This song is decent, but not the best of its "genre" in my opinion. But I think I took a shine to it because Arthur Godfrey has such a distinct "older British gent" type of voice. I believe this is on account of him being an older British gent*.]

2. Christmas is Coming -- Harry Belafonte & random back up chorus [ I love this song: "Christmas is coming / the goose is getting fat/ please put a penny in the old man's hat/ if you haven't got a penny, a ha'penny will do/ if you haven't got a ha'penny, then GOD BLESS YOU" I may not even have a quarter-penny--qua-penny?--to my name after this year's Christmas shopping, and it warms my heart how Harry B. & co empathize with me here. I also relate to this goose they sing about. But seriously, I put a different version--sung by the Muppets-- on the 2006 mix and I like that one a smidge better. Sorry H.

3.Little Drummer Boy-- Lou Rawls [very good, very groovy rendition. Second only to Peter Griffin's terrific remake...see below vid..]

4. Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas -- Emmy Rossum [ Emmy Rossum is really gorgeous girl.. and now, a good singer we find out. But, she just seems like she would be LAME to hang out with. She just gives off a vague, not-very-fun vibe. But I totally could be wrong. And honestly, I suspect I resent her just a smidge for her getting to rub up against Gerard Butler a few years back when she did Phantom. ]

5.Jesu, Joy of Man's Desiring-- perf. by the Philadelphia Orchestra, composition by Bach [beautiful song]

6.The Holly and the Ivy--I think by the Cambridge Choir...I'm almost positive on that but not 100%. Well, whatever choir it is, it's one of those chill-inducing performances.

7.Carol of the Bells --Emmy Rossum

8.Christmas Chimes -- Andre Kostelanetz & orchestra

9.Deck the Halls -- The Columbia Choristers

10.Good Christian Men Rejoice-- Cambridge Choir ["Good Christian rejooooice/ with heart and soul and voooooice" I love this one. Can't believe I didn't have it before this year. I bought it off iTunes which means the album cover is absorbed into my iPod. Which I certainly don't mind...I'm all for a li'l visual stimuli with my tuneage. This beautiful song happens to have a this beautiful Pre-Raphaelite album cover. Behold...

I know I know the painter, but I can't think of who it is right at the moment. I just love it...although it does seem sort of funny shuffled in there amongst pics of Mims and Ludacris.

11. Allegro & Pastorale

12. Hallelujah Chorus--by Handel/ perf by Royal Philharmonic Orchestra w/ choir

13.Angels We Have Heard on High--Cambridge Choir [from the above pictured Christmas Star album. I particularly love the "In excelsis deo" part. I tend to dig anything sung in fact on my '04 mix I had a song called "Gaudete" which is entirely in Latin)

14. Ding Dong Merrily on High! --Choir of King's College [LOOOOVE this one]

15. O Tannenbaum --Andre Kostelanetz & choir [this song is sweet...I stuck with the English version, but I considered putting a German version on the CD too]

16.Here We Come A-Caroling --some choir [ I like it just a half-smidge better when this song is called "Here We Come A-Wassailing" but that's a minor quibble. I think what's most loveable about this song is how it's just overflowing with fervent & indiscriminate goodwill...y'know, all that " Love and joy come to you and to you glad Christmas too. And God bless you and send you a happy new year. And God send you a happy new year" & the like.]

17. Christmas Time is Here-- Vince Guaraldi Trio

Mix 2-- Peppier Christmas Tunes

1. Last Christmas -Jimmy Eat World [ Also have the Wham! original on this mix (track 14 ) so listeners may compare & contrast, and ultimately rule on who does it best]

2.Christmas is a Time to Say I Love You -- Billy Squier [sadly underrated ...why don't they play this on the radio more???]

3. It Must've Been Ol' Santa Claus -- Harry Connick Jr

4. Cool Yule -- Louis Armstrong

5. Wonderful Day -- the Chipmunks [ I thought that "The Chipmunk Song (Christmas Don't Be Late)" was the unequivocal #1 Christmas song performed by chipmunks, but this more obscure gem actually ties with it for top spot!! I HIGHLY recommend.]

6. Carol of the Bells -- The Four Seasons [CD didn't credit "Frankie Valli & the Four Seasons"...I'm not sure what that means. Was Frankie not with the group for this one? Or was he with the group and going through some rare modesty kick at the time of recording?)

7.We Need a Little Christmas --Percy Faith singers

8. A Marshmallow World-- Dean Martin [ I love me some Dino. His singing gives me a warm tipsy feeling. This tune is Robin's fave Christmas song, btw. ]

9.Frosty the Snowman--Jimmy Durante

10. That Old Christmas Moon -- Leon Redbone

11. Christmas in Killarney-- Bing Crosby [ Nearly as good as a visit to Scotland-by-the-Yard for puffing me up with pride in me Scotch /Irish heritage ]

12. Amen -- The Impressions

13. Wonderful Christmastime -- Paul McCartney/ Wings

14. Last Christmas -- Wham! [I regret to confess...I slightly prefer the track 1 version. Less moaning & sighing in that one]

15. Monster's Holidy-- Bobby "Boris" Pickett [ this here, is the absolute pièce de résistance I urge you to seek it is the most ridiculously bad Christmas song ever made. OK, that's just my own opinion there but, objectively, it's got to be the only Christmas song that has Santa Claus sounding like Count Dracula]

16. We Wish you a Merry Christmas-- Booker T & the MGs [this instrumental has the distinction of being rated Zagat's "Best Christmas Song for Go-Go Dancing" And I can confirm that ruling. I haven't tried dancing to ALL holiday songs as yet, but I have tried with MOST. "Angels We Have Heard on High" ?? Doesn't work. "Adeste Fidelis"? No can do. "We Wish You a Merry Christmas" jammed out by Booker T & the MGs ?? Groooovy, man. Don't just take my word on it though...see for your own self!!]

*Have since tapped into the wisdom of wikipedia and discovered that Arthur Godfrey was born in NYC in the good ol' USA. But man...if you could just hear that track, you would SWEAR the dude was a Brit!!! Really!!

Wednesday, December 19, 2007


Britney's little sis is has a bun in the 16 yr old oven. Let's hope, for aforementioned bun's sake, Jamie Lyn didn't inherit Brit's bat-guano LOCO gene.

Tuesday, December 18, 2007

Reindeer Games

Hello dare, bahmemba me?
I took a week and a day off from work and--though I'd not intended it-- a week and a day off from blogging. It's not as if I haven't been on the computer. I made sure to upload photos I took of my snowman. I looked up recipes online. I made CDs. It's just seemed as though I left my will to blog here in my cubicle...along with my white sweatshirt.
I didn't do anything overly fabulous with my vacation time... it was mostly used up with Christmas preparations (and I'm still not quite prepared) I will commence with an overview--brief as I can manage-- following a brief photo-tribute to my snowman, who was buried alive this past Thursday.

I call this one, "Happy Waving Snow-fellow--Mid-day":

And now we have here less of a close-up with "Happy Waving Snow-fellow--Late Afternoon /Early Twilight"

And the last piece in our series, which I have dubbed "Happy Waving Snow-fellow: Nighttime"

See how undaunted he is by encroaching darkness? That little snow-fellow was all heart. Hell of a lotta chutzpah, ya know. He will be missed.

Oh snap. ..I never thought to name the li'l guy. I retrospectively christen him..Allistair.

Okay a rundown of my vaca, bullet-pointed, to encourage brevity:

  • *Made a snowman on 12/10. I had been wanting to build a snowperson for a while but just hadn't gotten around to it. By "a while" I mean about the past 3 winters. It's not that I've just sat gazing out the window, sighing at the winterscapes before me, just idlly thinkin' "Gawsh a snowman would be swell, eh??" NOT THE CASE, MON FRERE!! I've actually gone out--booted & be-mittened-- to commence with the snow-dude construction but I always have the bad luck /timing to get the snowman jones when the wrong sort of snow is falling. Meaning-- I go out and make a snowball, then bat it around on the ground (like a kitten with some yarn) but the ground snow will NOT adhere to the snowball snow...thereby totally impeding snowperson construction --by all traditional methods. But this last time I was NOT deterred by unadhesive snow and I dredged the deepest depths of my McGyverism reserves and triumphed!! So I constructed Allistair (posthumously named ) by packing snow into different sized buckets. Consequently he is very cylindrically shaped and I didn't dare fuss too much reshaping his bodily components, since the snow was barely sticky at all. I thought the oversized Santa hat did nicely for obscuring the cylindricality of his noggin, anyway.
  • *Shopping, shopping, shopping. I still have a smidge more to do... for my Aunt Laurel...need somethin' for my bro-in-law...want to get a little something else for my Mom, my Chloe & my Sadie. Yesterday I went to Scotland By The Yard shopping. I'm rather fond of that store...not that I frequent the place or anything. It's sort of out of the way and it was only the 2nd time I'd been there. But still, it fills me with a sort of nationalist pride and makes me happy to be 1/4 Scottish and 1/4 Irish. This seems a good time to again mention my clan tartans..refer to this post of a coupla months ago. So I DID make a purchase and it is plaid item....but not our plaid..I'm sorry, our TARTAN. If it was for me, I would have insisted it be of the clan Matheson, I felt almost traitorous just buying the thing. But it was to be a gift, of course, and the future recipient , I am quite certain, is more concerned with color palette than she is with historical legitimacy or whatever. OK, OK, it's a wool blanket for my sister... I was trying to subtly & discreetly obscure the details but why the hell am I bothering? My sister has never, WILL never access my blog (luckily for me) Anyways I felt sheepish already, poaching another clan's tartan. And this tartan was labelled "MacDonald of the clan Ranald". No kidding... Ronald McDonald tartan. That made me chuckle. Anyways I was remarking about this to my mother while I was being rung up and this dude overheard me and he cuts in..all zealous-like.."Are you MacDonald of the Ranalds? Because I'm a MacGooglyMoogly and they were related to that clan!!" (OK, so I don't truly remember the dude's last was Mac-somethingerother) And I'm all "No..I'm a Matheson. I just like the colors of this blanket" and the guy was SOO clearly disappointed in me...and... I could be imagining it but I think he was trying to suppress his disgust. That did not help my feelings of shameful clan-treason guilt. Well, they were real bad for a half minute or so. But then I decided to tape the Scotland-by-the-Yard receipt to the bottom of the gift box thereby enabling Laura to return the blanket if she wants. And of course that means if she doesn't. . . clan treason is on HER head. Oh..I am really botching this attempt at brevity....damn.
  • *Sappy sappy lameass Christmas movies-- I have watched Fa-la-la-la Lifetime's " The Road to Christmas" (not too shabby) and, last night, "Lost Holiday: the Jim & Suzanne Shemwell Story" (LAAAME, though I maintain my total & eternal adoration of that yummy Dylan Walsh) I am wanting to catch ABC Fam's offerings: "Christmas Caper" and to a lesser extent:"Holiday In Handcuffs" Speaking of required holiday viewing, I had to watch "National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation" last night while decorating my parents Christmas tree . I don't mind the movie, but the experience of watching it with my Dad present is somewhat excruciating. Forget the fact that his laughter is--objectively speaking-- wildly excessive.... the WORST is that he gives a play by play of the movie. "Oh the sled part is coming up next!! He sprays his coaster with cooking spray and goes like HELL! He (uncontrollable guffaws) winds up (more guffaws) IN THE WALMART PARKING LOT" Did I say somewhat excruciating? Well, I was being nice. Incidentally , my fave holiday movie classic is "A Christmas Story" with Ralphie, Red Ryder &co. I'm entertaining the notion of buying it on DVD. I just LOVE that one. How can I be sustained with just a worn out ol' VHS copy, I ask ya?

Well I gotta jet....I didn't really canvas the entire 10 days off (6 off from work / 10 off from posting) but I really don't think I left out anything noteworthy either. If I think of anything, I shall be sure to apprise of those omission in a future post, mmm-kay??


Friday, December 07, 2007


Go to Merriam Webster and give 'em your pick for "Word of the Year".

I voted a couple of days ago...for the word quixotic (which I have hidden so that I might not sway your voting. But if you're absolutely certain that knowing what my impeccable opinion is will not influence your selection in anyway...just highlight the "blank" and my pick shall magically appear)

Thursday, December 06, 2007

Had no idea my parents were such huge Sears patrons...

Yeaaah, more of my eccentric 'net perusing at lunch today: wound up looking through the 1982 Sears Wish Book (isn't the internet MAGNIFICENT??) Well I didn't browse the entire thing (I only get an hour for lunch, y'know) but rather, I zeroed in on the toy section. And therein I discovered that I owned something from nearly every page. You know how I recall this with such certainty & clarity?? Because IT'S ALL STILL IN MY PARENTS' BASEMENT!! Most of it anyways... They are packrats extraordinaire and that basement clutter is pretty damn fierce. On the other hand though.... if they were to send any of those glorious toys to the dump...I might just cry. Really..

Y'know it's cliche to marvel "Kids these days have everything" I can concur with that, I guess, but I think my generation had it pretty sweet. There's some truly awesome shit in the '82 Wish Book!!

Some of the highlights--

Out of all these board game "classics"....we had BONKERS! I have no recollection whatsoever of how the game was played (or any memories of ever playing the game, for that matter) but isn't the artwork on the box swell?? You know what game we had that was absolutely kickass ? "Cat's Eye " which, sadly, is nowhere to be found in the Sears Wish Book. And even sadder still, it's MIA from the basement.

In a barely relevant aside-- remember Bonkers candy? Maaan you couldn't get through a Laugh Digest without running into 50 ads for that shit. Do they still make Bonkers???

We had this Hasbro "Skedoodle" gadget. It's another of the missing toys (ok, maybe my parents didn't save absolutely EVERYTHING) but I'm not really missing it. I mean, it looked like a really neat-o gadget but ultimately it was just Etch-a-Sketch's lameass cousin...with a joystick. (This was the boy version...haaa) As is to be expected, we lost most of the stencils. I think Sears screwed my parents over when they bought their Happy Valley Furniture (see item #1) . Apparently this was a 2 bench and 1 table set but we only had (I should say:"HAVE") 1 bench. So the folks at Sears gave 'em the shaft I suppose..... or at least that's a nicer thought than the possibility that my sister's & mine incredible avarice (even at that young age) had so impoverished my parents that they chipped in their one third of $46.99 (I's no good at math) to an impoverished mommy & daddy collective and split the Happy Valley Table & Bench set with 2 other families.

Oh, also we had a toy box very similar in structure to #2 there, but the design on it was different and less wonderful than the Happy Valley line. This toy was MINE, all mine. I remember the instructional tape (with blank B side) they provided... called "The World of Sound" if I recall correctly. I know one of the clever uses for tape recorders they suggested was recording oneself playing "Chopsticks" on the piano. Which is not exactly how I used mine....

I clearly remember my first big job with this baby... I hid it behind a platter on the the dining room hutch and I surreptitiously recorded my parents' meeting with the insurance man. Yeah...we had an insurance man that came to our house (my sister used to be scared of him) I don't think they do that in the insurance biz anymore do they ?? That practice has gone the way of Bonkers candy (yep, I have since researched it.. they's discontinued ..WAAH)

Apparently I sensed that I could glean some valuable classified info from insurance dealings....but my wee 6 year old brain had no idea what that info would be. Hell, I barely know now...
This I am adding in here to illustrate that I didn't possess something from EVERY page of the Wish Book. I just want to show how I was not truly SPOILED ROTTEN (I was just regular spoiled) . How rad it woulda been though, if I did have this!! I had a Viewmaster... but you had to READ the reel commentary. Not half so rad as all this, right?? This is like a filmstrip, kinda. Filmstrips were terrif...especially if you were the chosen one who got to man the projector. When educational films made the jump to VHS they became significantly duller...because they lost that audience participation factor...
This school here predates the total lame-ification of Little People that took place in the 90s (the Fisher Price toy, we're not talking about midgets here) I had this awesome school...... it was unfortunate for the pupils that they didn't have anywhere to play unless they took the roof off the school. They so should've held a bake sale or somethin'. Still, they did have a pretty sweet merry go-round. I wanted a life-size one for my school.
This one I did have...had my parents not bought me toys like that and the Play Desk (below...) I would not be the academic ace that I am today.

But my absolute favorite thing to play with as a wee moppet...hands down....was BARBIE. Probably if playing by myself I would fart around with the Play Desk or "Skeedoodle" for a spell (oh..we did have some truly rad Colorforms playsets...Smurfs, Miss Piggy, Mork & Mindy) but if Laura and I played together, 90% of the time we were playing Barbies.
The first stage was house construction-- we had a few pieces of Barbie furniture but no Mattel manse of any kind. We would set up rooms on the stone step in front of the fireplace and also the coffee table. We'd make tables out of coasters and beds out of crocheted Kleenex box covers (the oblong type, obviously ). Then we'd name all the girls .Our top names were: Kate, Sydney, & Samantha. Not in that order...'cause I believe "Sydney" was the #1 fave...we'd fight over who got to be Sydney. But we played with 6 dolls (3 ea..very fair) so we musta had a few other names we used. I can't remember the others. Just never "Barbie"...nobody ever used "Barbie " for a name.

Anyways, I will spare you retellings of the elaborate melodramas we'd stage and get back to the Wish Book. In there I found "Magic Curl Barbie" which I retro-covet. I never had that one. Surprisingly, Barbie truly rocks that fro.. . and I dig that dress. Is it not terrif?? I find I can appreciate her better while supping with Ken rather than in the above pic where she dwarfs the entire beauty salon. How is Barbie supposed to water her fro in that sink, huh?? HUH?
We did have Pink & Pretty Barbie. She really had a gorgeous tan---a genuine, cooked-in-the-sun hue....none of that orangey faux-glow back then, you know. And the shirt she came with was probably the single-most popular piece in our collective Barbie wardrobe. Don't know if you can tell from this pic, but it had silver polka dots. Also, it was backless--very saucy. The write-up here says her sheer pink cape could be converted into a hat. WHA-A-AAAAAT?? How is it that I never knew that??

I don't know why it so upsets attractive can a hat made from a cape be, anyways??

Wednesday, December 05, 2007

I will always feel better, just knowing there's an Icehotel

Don't ask how, but I wound up perusing the ICEHOTEL site during my lunchtime 'net wanderings. So, as I'm gnoshing on my gordita I'm thinking "Now when I'm feeling low about a particular bout of frivolity (as I am apt to succumb to) I can always think:'ICEHOTEL' and not feel so bad, remembering that there are thousands of wealthy kooks -more frivolous than I--that will fork over a thousand bucks to sleep for a night on A SLAB OF ICE". Hey, I'm totally down with the notion of the "destination hotel", but that is just redunkulous.

OK, well, it's not to say that I'm not interested. Obviously-- if it was able to compete with a fresh Taco Bell gordita for my attention-- it intrigued me greatly. Most of these hotels offer guided tours during the day (then close to the general public @ 6pm when the paying guests overrun the joint) . I would be game for a tour. Even better...I would be game to party at the IceBar . After a tipple or two, I would barely even notice how friggen cold I was. Heck, after four or more ...I'd probably sleep there. So I guess from that we could conclude that I WOULD sleep in an ice hotel. . . provided I was super-innebriated. And really, that's a moot revelation...because..well, let's presume I did not luck into some generous Swedish benefactor(s) ... and so if I were that drunk, I would probably also be quite broke, I wouldn't have sufficient moolah to hole up in the ice hotel . I would fall asleep in a snow bank and probably wake up with severe hypothermia. Let's hope I lose a chunk of my ass outta the deal, anyways.

Wowwww, that was a rather lengthy foray into Hypotheticalville. Just wanted to divert meself from dreadful, tiresome WORK, I guess. Which is certainly understandable.

Tuesday, December 04, 2007

P.S... was Doritos. Nacho cheese Doritos, to be precise. I spied some Cool Ranch in there today but I never , WILL NEVER, be cool with Cool Ranch. Ick. I am a bit of a Doritos traditionalist, you could say.

Ohhhh and speaking of brown sugar shortbread cookies came out..ohh, somewhere above disastrous, less than awesome. They're pretty good when used in a biscotti sort of capacity, but eaten plainly...ehhh. I felt somewhat ashamed of them and stopped at Shaw's on my way in and bought Mrs Field's chocolate chip cookies and these yummy cinnamon-chocolate Belgian cookies that I pick up from time to time. So ultimately I proferred a cookie SMORGASBORD. Which is quite appropriate for National Cookie Day, yes??

Games People Play

Robin & I just played a round of "Cheeto OR Dorito?" This we play when one of us has obtained a snack size bag of either Cheetos (crunchy-not puffs) or Doritos from the cafeteria vending machine...taking care that the other does not catch a glimpse of said bag. Next, the snack holder ensures that the other is off the phone and poised to listen carefully. "Holder" then noisily bites the first Cheeto or Dorito. "Listener" must guess (from 2 cubicles away) whether it's a Cheeto or Dorito based on the sound of this initial CCRRRUNCH.

Gawwwsh, the game name is pretty self-explanatory, I thought. I have to spell everything out for you, you dimwit.

Robin has a far better guessing track record than I do. I don't do too badly, but she is UNDEFEATED . I think she has superior hearing. She's damned good at eavesdropping too.

Monday, December 03, 2007

2007 National Cookie Day Preparations (UPDATE)

I went with (drumroll ) option C. There actually a fair number of cookie recipes that don't call for eggs. And none of 'em called for Eggbeaters either (Epicurious is too snooty a site for that sort of thing) But some of 'em called for fancier ingredients than I had available (actually found this impressive-sounding--and very well reviewed-- recipe for "Swedish Dream Cookies" that called for AMMONIUM CARBONATE). And other choices, that didn't call for fancy ingredients called for fancy equipment (so maybe parchment paper ain't all that fancy,but I DON'T have any, ok?) And actually the recipe I decided on -- Brown Sugar Shortbread-- called for a springform pan (cookie baking sans cookie sheet--insaaaane!!) But I thought that one of those 9" diameter disposable round cake pans would work and once I called my Aunt 'Rainey to confirm this, I was off and baking.

I prophesied to Robin that Iwould have the Christmas tunes blaring and be clad in an apron with snowmen on it (or Santas or trees or some such seasonal motif) . Well, I came very close to fulfilling that prediction.... I'm not one to wear any apron (no hardcore slob who's used to being a head-to-toe mess does) but I put on the new Santa hat that I got at Kmart on Saturday (yes , Kmart AGAIN) And I put 3 of my bestest Christmas mixes on shuffle and blared them (at a reasonable volume)

So I have taken the cookies out of the oven and it's on the cooling racks. I was not optimistic at the outset with these suckers and I remain skeptical. I made a lot of substitutions... first off, I needed 6 sticks of UNSALTED butter (I tripled the recipe) but was only able to come up with 3 unsalted (and the other 3 were salted). Also, the recipe called for "golden brown sugar" and I only had "light brown sugar" so I used that...don't know if that totally fucked 'em up or not. And lastly (and probably my most drastic substitution) I used whole wheat flour instead of all-purpose. Ooh and then I added too much sugar. The dough was not so doughy, it was quite crumbly , but the recipe warned against overstirring so I just bit the proverbial bullet and dumped into the 3 foil pans and tossed it in the oven. They baked through (I should hope so!! I had them baking for over an hour) but, they looked just exactly the same coming out oven as they did going in an hour prior. So that's less than encouraging. But my definitive verdict is pending a taste test. . .

I am not so hopeful.. already thinking I might combine this plan c with a dash of plan a.

I went out and plowed with the 4wheeler tonight. I wasn't all that effectual because I'm very hesitant with the gas so, consequently, I work rather sloo-oo-owly. But, I get points for showing initiative to pitch in with the snow removal drudgery (the Dad work). Plus, it got me out of doing dishes...which is the utter WORST.

Reporting in, even on my day off...

Update on the 12/3 Cookie Baking Initiative... there are no g.d. EGGS in this house. How am I suppose to bake cookies without @#$%ing eggs?? Yeeeeah, I know: cash + short car trip +store =a dozen eggs in the fridge, but I don't wanna go out in this!!! Daaamn!

Well here are my options:
a) Depart for work a bit early tomorrow, stop by the store en route and buy the undeserving ingrates at my office some friggin' Chips Ahoy (ok, just kidding, it's very sucky for them that they have to work in this icky blizzard and I have a nice snowed in day off, so I feel for them. I really would get them the good stuff: some of those European varieties and/ or Pepperidge Farms cookies

b) Go up in the woods aways, and, with the help of my father's elf call (I was a bit surprised to find that amongst his hunting there even an elf season? ) try and lure out some elves of the KEEBLER variety and then track them back to their bakery trees....and totally pillage the joint.

c) Avail meself of the "Advanced Search" feature on and search for cookie recipes that omit eggs. I mean, tragically, there's people out there who have cut eggs out of their diet entirely for some reason or another (cholesterol, ovo-allergies, extreme phobia of anything dispensed from a chicken's ass) and they couldn't possibly go through life foresaking the JOY OF COOKIES also...could they? I mean, SHIT, how fucking bleak would that be?
Hmmm, it occurs to me that if such a search comes up with 100 recipes calling for Egg Beaters I am as screwed as ever (having none of that gunk on hand either)

d) Suck it up and drive to the damn store.

I'll drop a post later and let you know what was decided....(try and live with the immense suspense)

Sunday, December 02, 2007

Dec 4

Dec 4 is NATIONAL COOKIE DAY. So sez Muppet Wiki, anyways. And that's a reliable enough source for me. DAMNED reliable. I know--for reasons of credibility-- aspersions have been cast on wikipedia--and rightfully so. But Muppet Wiki...ahh, well that's a whole other story, eh?

So..reason #1 that I'm glad I've got Dec 3 off-- I can bake up a few batches of cookies to distribute upon my return to work on Nat'l Cookie Day. I think I'll make gingerbread men and some other kind.

Of course, reason #2 that I'm glad I've no work tomorrow...we're supposed to get a shit load of snow over night (due to start in--ohhh, 40 minutes ago) I can drive in winter weather..when I must. But truly I prefer being "snowed in".

Maybe before I commence my baking binge tomorrow, I will build a snowman....haven't built one in aaages. I think a red blow pop would make for an excellent snowman schnozz.

Tonight my iPod froze up and HOLY SHEIZER, you shoulda seen me! I went from zero-to-panic mode in a half-nanosecond. I raced with my sick gadget (like paramedics racing a chronic case to the ER) in to the computer room to avail myself ASAP of the apple support site's know how. Once I got the instrux on how to reset the iPod, I fixed it easily. Although I was fretting for a second --as I turned it back on after the reset-- that maybe I'd lost all my songs. THAT would have been majorly inconvenient. I've got over 2000 songs on this thing now. Well to be precise, that'd be 3TV episodes and 2132 songs. I would not wanna have to re-sync all that...

I am sometimes not a very helpful person

Behold an exchange I witnessed the other evening in Price Chopper.

CONSTRUCTION WORKER LOOKING DUDE: (as he ambushes the gangly checkout boy from behind while said cashier is ringing up the sketchy looking lady ahead of me in the 10 Items or Less lane) : Do you know where the cranberry sauce is?
GANGLY CHECKOUT BOY: Crrraaanberry saaauce. Hmmmmmmm. (lengthy exasperated inhalation at this point ) Yyyyyeaaah. I'm.. . .not....surrrre....
DUDE: Maybe with the canned fruit?
CHECKOUT BOY: Ohh..yeah..maybe!! Yup, yup, canned fruit. That's probably it!!

Now a small bit of me was calling out "AISLE 6!!CANNED FRUIT!" before the stupid burly shopper even finished his query, but the ruling majority of my guiding Jiminy Crickets were content to stand there silently and just feel irked by the whole tableau. And so that is just what I did. Yeah, yeah, I know-pretty rotten of me...

I was actually irritated by both parties here. I mean, obviously the cashier was a source of irritation. I kinda feel that if you work somewhere, you should have a proficient understanding of the layout of the facility wherein you work. Ohhh, but that just could be me and my crazed and unreasonable notions. This cashier fellow is, sadly, a very common sort of idiot.

My qualm with the burly, inquiring customer can be summed up in one word: RESOURCEFULNESS. know me...I could never leave things at a single word. Lemme elaborate...

When I want to find something in a store I look for it. And look , and look. I will do laps and laps around the place before I deign to ask for help. My blisters have to have blisters before I approach a clerk. And sometimes I won't even then. Now, I confess to being unreasonably extreme in this behavior, but I do have a reason behind it all. It's simply that I value my own resourcefulness. Now I don't claim to any uber-MacGyver, paragon of resourcefulness, but I do have my moderate allotment and am glad of it. But, I suspect it's like a have to flex it regularly or it will atrophy and become flaccid and useless. Aw, heck, I figure that to be a decent analogy--rhetorically speaking that is (it's not as if I have actual firsthand experience of having actual muscles..ha!)

So somewhere in this guy's brain, he obviously realized that the canned fruit aisle was the best place to check for cranberry sauce, but he'd so conditioned himself to go begging & simpering for help that he couldn't just go directly to aisle 6 and friggin' look. GRRRrrr!

Thursday, November 29, 2007

Assorted Leftover Oddments. . .

Today is my oldest niece's 10th birthday!! I was trolling the Nov 29 celeb b-days du jour with particular interest today so that I might have an interesting birthday factoid to bestow on Chloe when I made my afterschool "Happy Birthday" call. Like, when she answered I could holler into the phone "HAPPY FLIPPIN' BIRTHDAY, GIRL!! YOU SHARE A BIRTHDAY WITH LEGENDARY GAME SHOW HOST WINK MARTINDALE!" (that's not true, by the way) And while I found a few names of interest, I couldn't find any celeb that would especially delight Chloe. No Miley Cyrus, or Jonas brother or similar 'tween Disney minion.

Louisa May Alcott was born on Nov 29,1832 and this I took to be a sign that - YES, I should buy Chloe a copy of Little Women for her birthday. I had been kinda wanting to buy her that, but had been reluctant to. I think it's a really good read (incidentally, I really enjoy the 1994 movie version even though I'm generally not much of a Winona Ryder fan) but I worried it might be a bit too much for a 10 year old. It's not so much that the writing is difficult to understand--I don't believe it would be for a smartie like Chlo. But it's just SUPER long. But the shared birthday thing is a sign that she for sure needs to own that book. She doesn't have to read it now. She could read it bit by bit...chip away at it...finish up around the spring of 2015 or thereabouts.

My bangs are catastrophically fucked up today. I had done them very nicely this morning actually. I'd curled them around a velcro roller & hair sprayed it, took said roller out several minutes later after I finished brushing my teeth. And it looked just lovely. But then, as I headed out the door, I jammed my woolly cap on my head. Coiffure calamity then ensued...
If only someone had told me ahead of time that it wasn't very cold out!!! Oy vey..

My pal Kara has me a smidge stoked for this Tin Man miniseries playing this weekend. Good luck with that link... she linked to the same page in her blog a few days back but I just arrive at a big pic of the cast and a message telling me that my version of Adobe Flash is inadequate crap-ola (well, not in those words, exactly). Still, I've seen enough to suspect that this miniseries is "right up my alley". Uhh, even though I'm pretty much clueless on the plot/premise here. Whatever. I like that Zooey Deschanel. And, not to be catty, but she really whupped her sister's ass in the battle for the hi-qual genes. (This chick is , somehow, her sister. She bears a stronger resemblance to Skeletor. Shit. So much for my NOT being catty. Meee-OW)
Even more up my alley (I LOATHE that cliche, by the way... I'm just SO friggin' stumped re: an alternative phrase) is this upcoming PBS event. And yet the PBS folks are vexing me here....could they be any vaguer than : "Coming in 2008" ?? WTF PBS?? Grrrrr!!!

And the chatting continued. . .

I should clarify a few points in this banter excerpt... firstly and foremostly the cat butt thing..

Early on in this installment, Robin makes inquiries regarding the temperature of a cat's butt. This, taken out of context, may make her appear to be some kind of hogger fetishist, and (contrary to what I assert later in the chat) she is NOT. The reason she says that is because I was chuckling over the notion of a cat named Keith. Keith is also the name of our resident IT guru, who one day sat in my chair as he worked on my PC and, it was this quick fix that took, like, 2 minutes and when I got back in my seat it was abnormally WARM. Like hunter's handwarmers warm. Shortly thereafter, via IM w/ Robin, I dubbed him Electric Blanket Pants (or EBP for short). Anyways we suspect this guy has an exceptionally exothermic ass. Hence her comment...

Then there's this bit where I go on a binge of writing C'MOOOOON in all caps. That's one of our idiotic inside jokes too. Whenever I am trying to persuade someone of something, but am not feeling up to exerting the wit or logic to persuade properly, I just start saying "Come ON" over and over, with different stresses and varying versions of my hack Tony Micelli-meets-Tony-Soprano voice. I'm all "Come aaaaahn! COME! ON!!! How 'bout now, am I right?" "COOOOME AAAAAHN. Aye! Oh! COME ON!" And the whole ritual amuses me to no end. Amuses me more than anyone else involved (this is how much of my humor works, actually)

All that "skidoo" related crap at the end there is because uncommon goods has these vintage slang flashcards that I am coveting real bad. And Heather was like "Vintage Slang? Whaddya mean?" And I was like "You know... slang terms like 'the bee's knees" or "22 Skidoo" or uhhh, '23 Skidoo'. Aww crap I can't remember..what's the expression? How many skidoos is it??" and Robin answered "22!" But soon after, Lisa very authoritatively put in "23!" And as she sounded so knowledgeable about it, and has nearly a decade on Robin, we took 23 to be the definitive answer.

Dwarves, Psychic Giants, Shopping for Neuvo-Antiquities, etc etc..

Wednesday, November 28, 2007

I've Seen the Future....I Can't Afford it

I was shopping in Kmart last night (have actually been in Kmart a lot in the past few days. . .hmm..) I was trying to find boxed Christmas cards, as I've had luck with the big K boxed card selection in previous years...uhhhh..NOT this year , though!!

Now, I concede that I am highly finicky about what greeting cards I buy. Not just for Christmas, but for all occasions. I know the whole greeting card racket is a giant rip off, but nonetheless I always become wholeheartedly invested in giving the absolute best card. It either has to be genuinely funny (trite, half assed funny cards need not apply) or visually stunning in some way. Much to my dismay,I have very little artistic talent, but I do have a good eye for good art. Impeccable taste, really. ( I know that's pretty cocky of me to say so, but I did rather berate myself on that Baconator decision from yesterday, so I think this evens things out nicely) I do buy cards of the sentimental & heartfelt variety from time to time but it's important that they are SUCCINCT. Cards that go on and on with paragraph after schmaltzy rhyming paragraph are a no-no for me. I mean, when I get those cards, I just glance at the texty innards and wince "Oy..too many words. Pass!"

Anyways even with such lofty standards, I really have found some good cards at Kmart. I've gotten some decent Trim-a-Home cards and some really good ones in the Martha Stewart line. Well Ms Martha didn't bother to put out any Christmas cards for Kmart this year! How do you like them pomegranites?? Maaaaahtha, Maaaahtha , Maaahtha....YOU'VE RUINED CHRISTMAS YOU PRETENTIOUS COW!! And now because there's not Martha Stewart cards, the Trim-a-Home brand, being the only game in town (the only game in Kmart-town anyhow) has dropped their standards exponentially. NOW what will I do for Christmas cards , huh? HUH?? And Martha's selection of Christmas wrapping paper was also substandard. There was a whole lot of it done with a PURPLE color palette. Yeah, FINE , I like purple but it doesn't exactly scream "Christmastime" in my opinion. It screams "Prince" and ya know, Martha, I don't celebrate his fucking birthday every year, so I guess I'll be buying my giftwrap elsewhere. Grrr!

And surely, it is no coincidence that, at the same time she's slacking off on her Martha Everyday line for the K, Martha is all over the TV in Macy's ads with her new BFF Usher. So what I'm thinking is this: now that Martha's post-prison comeback is a solidified, historical fact, she can shift her focus away from the upper lower class and lower middle class ilk--whom she SECRETLY HATES-- and endear herself to the upscale bourgeois. That's COLD, M. Even for a bitch like you!!
OK, well I have no factual basis for that theory, but it sure felt true when I was rummaging through row after row of abysmally unacceptable boxed cards last night.

I think I might buy boxed cards during my next trek to Target. Also have been toying with the notion of ordering 'em online here.

Tuesday, November 27, 2007

Heroes rant..

I missed Parkman this week. Where the hell was he anyway? Too busy with work? He was not watching Molly, that's for sure. Who was watching Molly for that matter?? I mean, maybe they hired a sitter, but that seems a pretty piss poor security measure, considering their situation. These guys just do not have their " arrangement" well organized..not like, say, the chaps from My Two Dads. Now those dudes have their shit together!! But , y'know, I LIKE Parkman...I choose to blame Mohinder. Speaking of that jackass...
I wish Mohinder was a bona fide hero (and not just a hero groupie) so that he could be one of the two fallen heroes hinted at in previews for next week( 2 HEROES WILL FALL...) . He pisses me off. I realize that last season, I kvetched about him being a jelly-spined wuss, and I enjoyed it when he took on Sylar (albeit disastrously). But to SHOOT HRG? You stupid, double crossing bastard! And what was even worse was how he was totally jerky to HRG afterward. Just because he fixed him up, good as new (maybe better than new?? Hmm?) this does *NOT* negate the fact that he SHOT the guy! And how can he have no remorse about that?? Misguided or not, HRG was his friend. Or ok, maybe not friend but more or less his ally. And he should NOT be so unapologetic about shooting an ally!! I’m not so crazy about Mohinder, but I at least thought he was “on the up and up”, morally speaking.

Also I thought it commendably restrained of HRG not to hulk out and snap Mohinder’s li’l chicken neck.

But it’s unlikely that they’re planning to off Mohinder…if I recall correctly, it was implied that it was a hero that would “fall”. Plus they need to have a resident geneticist (at least one) in the mix. Ideally, Nikki and Maya would be axed. Nikki is just. . .just..utterly USELESS. And her niece in law was just kidnapped while trying to retrieve Nikki’s late hubby’s medal. So I suppose it’s conceivable that Nikki might intervene and get popped by the Crips for her trouble. I SO would not object to that…but it probably won’t happen. Or maybe Monica is the one who’ll get offed by the gang …which would be too bad. The girl’s just starting out…I think they should give her a little while longer to try and reduce her lameness. I was a little peeved with her, letting herself get kidnapped like that. She’s got this whole iPod full of handy tricks, and there’s nothing therein that relates to being kidnapped by gun-wielding gang members?? Come on! That’s pretty basic!
You’ll hate me for saying this, but I wouldn’t mind if they got rid of that Micah kid. I know, I know….he’s just a precocious little moppet who wants to be with his mommy. But, really…nobody watches this show to follow his dopey little storyline. Am I right?

Maya would be a good pick for elimination. And that’s somewhat likely considering the company she’s keeping. I don’t mind her being on the show as the means by which Sylar “gets his groove back” but beyond that I’ve not much use for her. She’s monumentally stupid and just plain annoying.

I don’t think I’d mind too terribly if they got rid of Adam. Initially I liked him (as I was quite in favor of adding a bit of British spice to the show) and I didn’t mind him when he was resolved to destroy Hiro’s life (it’s not that I dislike Hiro but…well, I do understand where the guy was coming from. He had a broken heart!!) But now he’s manipulating Peter. No good. I can’t have that.

I do think they’re going to get rid of Elle …only because I don’t think KB signed on for too many episodes. That’s really a pisser. I might be in the minority, but I like Elle. Well, maybe I’m not in the minority on that, but my sister would have me believing so. She thinks I’m nuts to root for a baddie. But is she so bad? Really ?? I mean, HRG is not only a fave of mine , I’m pretty sure he’s a fan favorite. And his background is peppered with kills and kidnappings and assorted shady behavior. And is he bad? Oh, well, I’m not quite clear on that but I definitely love me some HRG. And so what if Elle is bad? She’s definitely got grounds (ie: her whackjob upbringing) to be a little bad.
Incidentally , it amused me how she pet and fussed over sweet Pete like he was her pet bunny. I would be tempted to do that too, were I lucky enough to have a captive Peter Petrelli of my own.
Last week, when HRG had Elle captive and was enlightening her on her childhood (how dear ol’ Dad permitted her to be a lab rat) I could almost see the seeds of mutiny being sewn. And then in this past episode, Bob/Dad was a TOTAL douchebag to her, so that probably helped said seeds sprout a little. So, at least if they’re going to off Elle, there’s a chance that she might go out whilest performing a grand act of rebellion. That’s good…if she **must** go…

items found & redeposited

Today, at lunch time, I perpertrated a HUMUNGOUS nutritional sin and ordered Wendy's Baconator. Don't give me that look. . .I'm just as disgusted with myself as you are. Your scorn will have absolutely NO impact on the situation.

Anyways, I happen to be outfitted in this sweater with what I believe is called a "shawl collar" (quite similar to the sweater pictured @ right)

Two seemingly unrelated facts, yes, but I WILL show relevance if permitted to continue, your honor....

During a late afternoon potty trip, I was sitting there, in stall, when I spied a bit of bacon in the criss-cross crevice of my shawl collar. The "Baconator"-- as you may have surmised-- packs some beaucoup bacon therein.. . apparently exceeding my mouth's bacon capacity...and that's downright ASTOUNDING, as my mouth's bacon capacity is rather large...bordering on gogmagogical. Anyways, had I found a piece of bacon in my sweater while sitting at my desk (struggling for consciousness/watching the clock ) I would have gobbled it up. But the thought of eating anything (even delectable BACON) whilest in the bathroom sickens me. And yet I had to be proactive about the situation...I mean how long had this bacon bit been rotting in the folds of my sweater already? So, you see, leaving it be was not an option...

So I tossed it in the pad/tampon disposal box hanging by my right knee. Gross, right? I then had this internal monologue (paraphrased, of's not like I bring a steno pad into the ladies room to collect any sudden profundities) --

What a weird thing to find in the sanitary napkin mini-dumpster...

Ahh, well... I don't suppose the janitor actually looks in there.


Lots of nutty fetishists out's certainly plausible that some of them are janitors

So I am rewarding his freakydeaky behavior by planting an out-of-the-ordinary find??

If he WERE that sort of weirdo...and that remains to be proven....

This is GRODY why am I still pondering this????!!!???

Ok, now I have another find . . .from yesterday... .I defied chronological order just because this one is kind of cute and I thought it might cleanse some of the ick out of your mind from that whole bathroom bacon episode...

Picture it...Sicily...1932... up. Momentarily possessed by the spirit of Sophia Petrillo there. Take 2...

Picture it... November 26 2007 (approximately 1:30pm) I am passing a shrubbery-laden median in the TJ Maxx parking lot. In a patch of juniper* I spy a large matchbook. Printed on the matchbook in gold: "Kimberly & Edward / July ___th 2007/ Lucky in Love" So I don't remember the precise date of Kim & Eddie's nuptials, but I am positive it was a double-digit day of the month, and that it was suffixed with "th" and not "st" "nd" or "rd". So some schmendrick attended this wedding between the 10th and the 20th OR between the 24th and the 30th, and they coveted the gratis matches enough to pocket 'em, but did not value them enough to not lose them in the TJ Maxx parking lot. Oh, and the matchbook had little crossed horseshoes etched on 'em...above the writing...forgot that detail.

These soggy matches, which were of no use to me (because they weren't just dew-soggy matches, if they'd been there since this summer, they'd been snowed on at least I'd bet even if you dried 'em out thoroughly they'd not work) I found to be too interesting a find to just leave sitting in a shrubbery. Y'know any find that is so evocative of the possible backstory is an interesting find. Don'tcha think? Anyways, I snatched it up and, without a word, slipped the matchbook into my sister's purse while she was distracted (changing my niece's shitty diaper).

I suppose it's not piss-your-pants caliber funny, but amuses me quite a lot to think of Laura sorting through the contents of her purse and puzzling over this one.. "Kimberly and Edward? Who the @#$% are Kimberly and Edward???"

*It may not have been a juniper, this shrub. I really don't know, to be honest. I was trying to be descriptive, OK?

C'mon feel the noize

I was hardly prez of the Kevin DuBrow Fan Club (not even VP) but I was rather saddened to read of his recent demise.

I really love "Bang your Head(Metal Health)" & "Cum on Feel the Noize" (such an audacious pun, no?). I remember, when I was a young pup, my sister had the Metal Health tape and the cover used to scare the Garanimals off me!! (see creepy pic below)


Ok, well I'm kidding...half-kidding. That cover really did freak me out as a young 'un. But my mum NEVER dressed me in Garanimals.

And like most things that scared me as a tot (the Thriller video, Don Music) I find this to be pretty awesome now.

Tuesday, November 20, 2007

random Count von Count pic...I'll explain in a moment ( AH AH AHHH)

Hmmm.. . just what is he doing in the lower righthand corner there???
You so crazy, Count!


Sorry in advance for the lame-ass post I'm about to perpetrate, kids...

Here's a bunch of stops of interest in my own (FORBIDDEN) 'net meanderings...

This was my fave news item of the day. I can't imagine that's it's all that awesome being Caroline Kennedy, (what with all the dead family members) but learning this has to make it much, much better. I know I would be over the f-ing moon.

Some new trailers at Worst Previews that charmed me--

Made of Honor -- Romantic comedy w/ Patrick Dempsey & Michelle Monaghan. Well, it seems to be the usual formulaic pablum, but I'm generally game for a rom-com, provided the leads are likeable enough. Michelle Monaghan may have a wee residual bit of Tom Cruise taint on her (from MI 3) but she was fairly rad in the tremendously rad flick Kiss Kiss Bang Bang so I'm willing to overlook any of that aforesaid taint. I'm a Grey's Anatomy fan and everytime I see P-Demp outside the show, I think of what a swell fellah he is, how damned likeable and I marvel at how refreshing it is to see him doing something other than mooning over a character played by Squinty Pompeo (PARENTHETICAL COMMENTARY:she doesn't deserve him!! She is too damn angsty and it drags him down!) . It's SO refreshing. I breathe an actual sigh of refreshment. I am going to see Enchanted next Friday, by the way. last thing that cannot be left unsaid...that movie has fucking DWAYNE WAYNE in it. Dwayne Wayne is the cat's jammies (with or without the flip-up specs....well, more so with the specs, of course)

I am a sucker for a historical drama, and this looks like a damned sexy one. I'm no history scholar, but I'm pretty certain that Henry XVIII was not half so fine. Most artists' renderings have him looking like the Tudor dynasty's answer to Jabba the Hut. Eric Bana? MUCH easier on the eyes , thank you. I will probably aim to catch this one in the theater.

Strange Wilderness-- looks like a pretty doofy comedy. But I do want to see it.

There's ,like, this giant 5 min block of the preview where they're doing a stupid laugh over footage of a great white shark....if that's not actually in the movie I'm going to be pissed because that's 90% of why I wanna see this. It *&^%$ing cracked me up.

Well, also I love Steve Zahn, so that's a good reason to see it too. But, seriously, the laughing shark better be in there.

And finally I have a cover gallery for Sesame Street magazine. It's just an important resource to have at your disposal, and so I thought I would share it with y'all. I was perusing it the other day because I wanted to give my PC a nice Thanksgiving-themed makeover (I never found anything, btw) and I thought one of SS mag's November issues might be cute. No dice... out of 37 YEARS of covers there was only one that was at all Thanksgivingy ...but that one was from Nov 1991 and that was after the magazine's cover art had begun to suck. Well, to be totally accurate, it began to suck in Dec 1986 and got progressively suckier as we go through the 90s (with the notable exceptions of the July/Aug 1988 issue & Sept 1988 issue).

Oh, yeah, that's where I got that random "COME ALIVE WITH FIVE" image. That was my favorite November cover (but not all that Thanksgivingish, eh??)

Monday, November 19, 2007

Gogmagogical Time Off

The boss lady always nags us in our weekly meeting to KEEP TRACK OF YOUR LEAVE TIME BALANCE. And I never did...I mean, I know how many hours I accrue in a month and figured I could do the math if need be. I just, in general, do not keep track of things. I'm not what you'd call a tracker...nope. "Trackers" are akin to "organizers" and sadly I belong to a whoooole other phylum.
As the year wore on, she singled me out particularly on this tirade, saying, yeah I think *you* have beaucoup lead time left for '07 (well I am paraphrasing there, as boss lady is not the type to sporadically lapse into Francois .... as is moi )I presumed the rough figure I had in my head was totally inaccurate so I told her she better email my balance.

104 HOURS OF LEAVE TIME!! Holy Guacamole, right?? Indicator #1,001 that I've been w/ this company too damn long!! But I definitely wanted to take advantage... even so...I could only come up with 82 hrs to take off. But that's quite the chunk out of the next 2 mos. I just got the official a-okay today, and so I'll be off:
Nov 21
Nov 26
Dec 3
Dec 10-17
Dec 26

I don't know what the hell I'm gonna do with myself!!!

I have a blue house with a blue is the color of all that I wear

I have that little gem on my iPod (don't tell me you don't remember Blue) and this morning it came on and it just cracked me up. It doesn't usually send me into giggle fits (though I don't suppose I've heard it for years) but this a.m. (perhaps a side effect of sleep deprivation) it just struck me as hilarious that somebody put such lyrics to paper in earnest. And then was capable of performing it without laughing.

Don't get me wrong, I adore that song (probably more than I should, really..)

Speaking of irresistable songs that reduce one's IQ exponentially... one of my very first iTunes purchases was "Crank That" by Soulja Boy. I really tried to dislike this song on principle. First off, as I described it (after 1st hearing it) in a prev post-- it is a "litany of gibberish". I can barely make any sense of it, which is just as well because I sense that is pretty misogynist gibberish and just detrimental to society on multiple levels. However... I shall not lie... I really dig the song. I think it's the steel drums that enthrall me so. What's really surprising is that my sister likes the song. And so when it came on the radio on our way back from Burlington a few weekends back, we had a very interesting sing-along. Basically we just hollered "OHHH!" and "YOOOOOOOOU!" at what was approximately the right junctures in the song. Our friend Kristi seemed embarrassed for us (or herself maybe, I'm not certain, she's just lucky that the song came on whilest we were zipping down I89 and not while we were in downtown bumper to bumper traffic)
So anyways, not only do I love that song against my will but I extra-love that song on account of my now having a funny anecdote associated with it. Except it's one of those dreadful "guess-ya-had-to-be-there"funny anecdotes, which you can't rightfully categorize as a legit funny anecdote. So--addendum-- I happen to especially love "Crank That" because I have a fond memory associating said ditty. Better?

Friday, November 16, 2007

a Shep by any other name...

On the local oldies station, one of the DJs is called "Shep Sutton". I say "is called" rather than "is named" because I have a hard time believing that "Shep Sutton" is this dude's actual, legal name. Legal or no, that moniker cracks my shit up! "Shep" is just killer, in and of itself, but ya tack on "Sutton" and it's off the f**king charts, man!!

Now I don't like "Shep" as like, a prospective first born son name or anything like that. But wouldn't it be a terrific character name? If I wasn't so profoundly noggin-constipated when it comes to conceiving original plots, then I might come up with an original plot and spin that into a short story (or--if the muse was feeling generous-- a novel) and in this story I would fit a "Shep" character in there somewheres. Probably even a Shep S _________, for that nice alliterative effect, but not using "Sutton" because that would be like cheating, y'know?

Thursday, November 15, 2007

rock me amadeus!!

One of the songs I got put on to my iPod was Falco's "Rock Me Amadeus". I mean, of course it's on there. That is a MUST HAVE 80s track. I had the Pod (still no proper name for it yet...though I'm considering Georg after the VonTrappe pater familias) on shuffle and aforementioned song came on, and it moved me to track down the music vid on YouTube.

Maaaan! I had totally forgotten how awesome that was!! It seems so LURID!! Even in the crazy 80s (days of Madonna & all) this seems a smidge risque.

There's something inherently lurid about 18th century garb anyways. The powdered wigs, for one. The men and women had virtually the same hair...there is a unisex uniformity in that that rings kinky somehow. Male attire was benign enough, but the dresses!! Those corsets that make your boobs overflow all over the place (forget "muffin tops" --think popovers!). And hoop skirts-- yowza. You can fit all kinds of debauchery under there.

I do not have this mix of "Rock Me Amadeus" -- mine does not have the guitar riffs, nor the "Sug-sug-sugah sweet. Sugar Sweet". I also recall listening to a version (different from this in the video & different from the one on my iPod) that has a timeline in it. I should like to possess all possible variations of "Rock Me Amadeus" . Also I remember a song he did called "Vienna Calling" which I'd also like to get my mitts on.

It makes me sad how Falco died so prematurely (car accident in 1998). Maybe he woulda made a comeback, maybe not. Even if he didn't, he has irrevocable cool points for all time just for that one song. I am grateful though, that he's not buried in the US... 'cause I was reading the wikipedia write-up on Falco and it featured a pic of his grave and --yeeeesh--- it has got to be the CREEPIEST "resting place" ever!!

Tuesday, November 13, 2007

Indiana wants me!!

First of all, lemme kvetch that this new internet moderation movement in my office is KILLING ME! Ok, well that's overstating it a smidge, but it ain't easy for me to abstain from 'net surfing when I get downtime.

So I was trying to be good and reading The Language of Doors --this book I bought for cheapie-cheap at Home Goods on my last Burlington trek. This book is more or less about different elements that comprise certain residential architectural styles (keeping its focus on the entry way) . The Richardson Romanesque style featured in the book intrigued me and it got me to thinking on other styles I dig-- Tudor revival, bungalow. And then I was lamenting the loss of this book I had -- Storybook Style about these really enchanting storybook style houses (think stone work, arched doors, exposed timbers, wonky pitched roofs). I was thinking I really HAVE TO re-acquire that book. I loved that book! Suddenly I felt certain that if I didn't add it to my Amazon wish list RIGHT NOW I would forget all about it forever.

So yeah...that's when I went renegade and popped online for totally nonprofessional reasons. Said coffee table book is added to my wish list. Pisser of it is, is that Amazon has it at a low low price of $23.07....and I know I paid $10 when I bought it before. Waaah. But anyways...

Now I was online, was thinking about storybook homes, it was a foregone conclusion that I would try to find some sites about storybook architecture (there aren't any good ones, I'm afraid) or just some photos. In this quest I happened upon Simpler Times Village.

Simpler Times Village is slated to commence construction in 2008, somewhereabouts in Indiana. Well, they do specify Southern Madison county Indiana, but uhhh, I know SQUATTYSQUAT about Indiana geography so to me-Southern Madison county ="somewhereabouts" .

So yeah, I may just move to somewhereabouts Indiana and buy me a Simpler Times Village cottage (humor me for a spell, ok? Let's just make believe like I have the ability to save up $$) These are the house plans that intrigue me--


Tremendously cute (thought that gingerbread cornice work is a bit much for my liking) but I don't know if I could deal with only 1196 sq ft and only one bedroom (that's NUTS). Needless to say, we are now disregarding the truth that I live in...ohhh, a 10 sq ft apartment (somethin' like that) right now. I remind you that this is make-believe dream house shopping, mmm kay? Let's continue on to the other plan that appealed to me...

Just lovely. I love me an arched door.

Also I had to throw in a page from the site that just amused the hell outta me. Aside from *suggested* house plans, they have early plans for village businesses. A Detective business in Simpler Times Villages? WTF, folks? Anyways, they have a prospective Mexican restaurant on the horizon (possibly)...
I probably couldn't live in a village without Mexican food, I so love my guac & frijoles refritos , but I can think of about 100 restaurant names (if not 1,000) better than THE PAINTED TACO. That is just weird.

Direct your attention to that "What's Your Dream?" section where they're soliciting folks to volunteer ("Yes, I would very much like to own and operate The Painted Taco. Sign me up, mammy!") "I am a future customer, send me coupons!" Huh? It's a bit premature to start amassing Painted Taco coupons, am I right??
I adore the third, totally off-the-wall bulletpoint there, which is- "I LOVE flan!" That's terrific. Very comical in an end credits of Letterman ("Worldwide Pants!") kind of fashion, right?

I have never had flan but I quite enjoy a good churro.

Ok, as intrigued as I am by Simpler Times, I also watch a lot of movies... That is why a part of me wonders if there isn't something sinister...something "Stepford-esque" going on behind the scenes here. Oh wait, no..."The Village". It's sort of making me think of that movie. You know the one...directed by M. Night Shammalammalakem (whatev) the acting debut of Bryce Dallas Howard. But even if there were no secret sinister goings-on...there's still a high probability of having fruity, irritating neighbors.. . .ones that homeschool their kids and keep milking goats.

So I've decided... I'll not write off Simpler Times Village entirely, but I'm not moving out there unless I can get someone to come with. . .

Anybody game??