|NO, sorry, I did not screen cap the entire thing. Here be the gist: the FDA discovered the sometimes-inclusion of CHEESE MITES in the rind of this cheese, and they be all grossed out|
Later, during a surreptitious (surreptitious-ish) check of Facebook on my phone, I saw a posting by Moe's Southwest Grill proclaiming that today is National Haiku Day. Facebook being a fairly dubious source for that intel (for any intel), I set out to verify that. And, oui, according to the Haiku Foundation (there's a foundation...for reals!!) April 17 is indeed National Haiku Poetry Day. I was perusing award winning haikus on the Foundation's website, and I was like .."what the hell? These haikus are busted!!These hacks! YOU'RE DOING IT WRONG!!" Yep, I was sitting there rereading
the poems and counting syllables on my fingers.
Well, come to find out, I am ignorant about haikus. They've subdivided Haiku into "Traditional Haiku" (which is haiku as I know it: a 5 syllable first line, 7 syllables in the second & then a third and last line of 5 syllables) and then they have "Contemporary Haiku" which is 3 brief-ish lines that have NO SYLLABIC REQUIREMENTS WHATSOEV! So you're just kinda making sparse, haiku-esque free verse and that counts, does it?? I'm sorry but ...BULLFECKINGSHIT. Why do you have to call that Haiku, when it is totally eschewing the framework that defines Haiku??
makes it a fucking haiku
don't go renegade!!
Late in the afternoon, our office got to talking about the best TV theme songs (it was an attack of Early Onset Friday Afternoon Punchiness) and Sue said how she always liked the instrumental theme for Sanford & Son. This led to a myriad of sub-convos, the first being how I heartily agreed with her.
And then, poor, deprived Brian chimed in how he'd never even HEARD of Sanford & Son (quelle tragédie!!!) After I provided him with a synopsis, I shared how I had been trying to get the Sanford & Son theme as a ringtone on my cell and it was much more difficult than one would imagine. (all the legit ones proferred for sale on iTunes are crappish new-stereo-recording sounding copies) I don't know that the Sanford theme is my #1 fave TV theme song (it's high up on the list though, fer sure!) that's not why I was compelled to get it on my phone. It was more of a statement... Along with other clerical odd jobs, I've always worked closely with our agency's Director of Facilities & Materials. That is, until he left at the end of January to start his own biz. It seems to absolutely be our M.O. these past few years, to not replace the administrative staff we lose. Shit, just save some $$ and redistribute their duties!! So, while a lot of Larry's jobs weren't *officially* assigned to me, they've fallen to me kinda by default. I've become the lord of the supply room, which is part salvage yard (like medical salvage). Hence me thinking of myself as Fred Sanford. My presiding over the office junkyard. My near-constant urge to bellow "YOU BIG DUMMY" at people. I just need me a LaMont. And some ripple. I mentioned this afternoon that I was going to take to drinking ripple. Brian didn't know what ripple was either (and I suppose, if I'd never watched S&S I wouldn't have known about it either) I emailed him this excerpt from Wikipedia's nifty write-up on bum wines--
Then the crew got to wondering--could we actually buy us some ripple anywhere nowadays?? And OF COURSE, I'm the only ne'r-do-well to commence to Googling this. Now this quest lands me on a website that gives me a pop-up warning of POTENTIAL MALWARE. And I spy the word "Trojan" in the pop-up and am savvy enough to know to NOT click a damn thing on that screen, only Alt+F4 pronto & on the double, repeatedly, if needed. I seem to have avoided any PC pox crisis. I have several work pals who have contracted a computer virus...but this was in the course of looking up phone numbers or doing some other work-related search. If that was my sitch, I wouldn't really sweat it, but if I had to beg help of IT because I crashed my computer searching "Where can I buy ripple??" Oy vey...another black mark in the personnel file for me!!!