Friday, March 19, 2010

Yippeee Yi Yay

I remember watching The Smothers Brothers Comedy Hour with my childhood pal Jenny. No, no, I'm not THAT old...this was a revival of the Smothers Bros show they did very briefly in the 80s (1988 to be exact). Still, it was over 20 years ago that I watched this and I remembered EVERY SINGLE WORD of the below song. Which makes me think that she had it on VHS and we watched and rewatched and rewatched the tape. I don't think it would stick in my mind for 2 decades after just a single viewing. It would make sense, us watching it obsessively as this is just the kind of funny that delights a 10yr old to no end. Well, OK...I'll admit it....I still find it pretty damn funny...

Jenny's parents also had a laserdisc player. It was a technological oddity even back then. She was the only person I knew who had one. So rad.

Monday, March 15, 2010

bizarre dreams

So I slept in until 11:30 am today, and it was one of those light sleeps where I'd periodically wake up, listen to the rain on the roof for a spell, flop over onto my other side and fall back asleep. Which is why I had a series of weird dreams (of which I can only remember scraps now..) because (if I correctly recall the sleep chapter from Psych 101) it's stage 1 REM sleeping when you dream all your dreams. I seem to always have my weirdest dreams in the morning anyways.

In one dream I had a baby and was taking her to the pediatrician and I don't remember much more about that.

Another snippet I remember was my friend Roxanne driving past my house and the police followed her car and yelled at her over a bullhorn that she has TWO flat tires and so she turns around and pulls up my drive and we go to get her new tires. In defense of real-life Roxanny, I do believe she would notice a difference in her car's handling and would hear the loud THWUMP-THWUMP-THWUMPING on the road and would *not*require a cop to shout at her over a bullhorn to notice she had 2 flats.

Another dream I had--and the one I remember most clearly (I think it could be that a spectator part of my brain instructed me "OOooh--this is GOOD. Remember this one!") was that I was having an illicit affair with Kevin McKidd which is weird, because it's not like I've just watched Grey's Anatomy, actually I missed the last Grey's and haven't seen it in quite awhile, well, a bit over 2weeks (oh..that's something to catch on when I finish posting) In my dream, he wasn't the actor Kevin McKidd, and he wasn't Dr Owen Hart (oh, real life side tangent...kind of unfair that he doesn't have some sort of Grey's nickname. I suppose a Mc- something nickname might be played out, or it might prove overkill vis a vis his Scottishness, but he's going to feel like a guest star until he gets saddled w/ a proper nickname, don'tcha think?) but he was some doctor or medical professional because he worked with me at the VNA. And my having one of the few access cards to unlock the supply room came in quite handy. Anyways, later in the dream a group of us went to his house for some reason and I realized he had a which point the dream started to suck. If I could have just cut it off at the supply room...


This morning I woke up stuffy with a slight headache (nothing I couldn't have worked through). I froze for a minute, I was sitting there, a contact lens on my left index finger, seized with indecision. Once you put in the contacts, you know, you are officially awake--no going back. I was having my customary Monday morning, "UUGH! I should just call in sick!!" sensation that I've felt on 10 thousand other mornings. But this morning, I guess, there were just a few extra factors that tipped the scales (to the renegade side) I was listening to the rain, thinking what a damn fine soundtrack that is for sleeping in. I had a bit of a headache (so that the needed lie would have very tenuous roots in reality) . Plus, I had this lady from payroll accost me in the lunchroom last week to let me know that I had soooo much ETO banked (over 300 hrs) that I wasn't accruing it anymore. What an opportunity to make a little dent in that, right?

So I returned my lens to the case and called in to work. I kinda feel like, if I'm ALWAYS there and for the most part reliable (which I am...I think 300+ hrs of untouched ETO speaks to that fact) that it shouldn't be a black mark against me if I were to call in and say "I have some ETO to use and I just spontaneously decided to take a 'ME day', I felt like I would be much happier if this week were only 4 days long, so I shall see you on Tuesday!" No, I didn't say that. (OF COURSE I didn't!!) But I feel like I should be able to. What's wrong with it? Oh, there's something wrong with it if you do it all the time, but I think a few times a year is perfectly reasonable.

But no, this morning I said "I just feel LOUSY and I'm not going to be any good today. I will be in tomorrow" So a nonspecific "lousy" gives me some hours to deliberate over just what my malady was. A "splitting headache" sounds like a kinda wussy complaint, but on the other hand, I always use diarrhea/nausea , so I feel compelled to mix it up. Otherwise, my boss might urge me to go to a GI surgeon. Just jesting... I *really DON'T* do this very often.

Ohh...some other factors I forgot that make this a fine day for hooky. It's the birthday of 7th prez Andrew Jackson...who was a pretty rad presidente. He fought 13 duels to defend his wife's honor . He delivered a beatdown to the wackadoo who tried to assassinate him. He was like an action star for the nineteenth century. Very Die Hard for the powdered wig set.

Also...the ides of March. Maybe my inner Calpurnia thought I would come to harm if I went to work today. After all, that's how it worked right? (So sez the Bard, anyhow) Cal had the dream of Caesar getting offed and she begged him to skip work and send word he was sick. Caesar was too good for such a ruse and LOOK WHAT IT GOT HIM--- multiple stab wounds. Doesn't pay to be hyper-ethical, eh?

Wednesday, March 10, 2010

good news/ bad news

*I* always go for bad news first so here goes--

Corey Haim is dead at 38 yrs old. As I was opining to mi amiga Kara--it's one of those things that seems so likely to happen that part of me thought that it wouldn't happen, as if it was like, too probable or something. And so I'm actually extra surprised by very unsurprising news. And then my rational self is surprised at myself for being it's double or triple surprising. I lost count. Yeah, I don't think Kara understood me either.

Corey Feldman is going to be stalked by "exclusive"-seeking press 24/7. Poor guy...I can't imagine he has the kind of $$funding$$ needed for Brangelina level security.

In my happy news (but not *my* personal news, at all...also it is not as happy as the Haim thing is sad, but I am pleased nonetheless) Last Comic Standing is coming back for a Season 7!! I so love that show. I had thought it was cancelled forever...I'm delighted to find out otherwise!! In and ideal world, we'd see Gary Gulman or Gerry Dee come back for a "Faves from LCS Past" tournament and win it. Jeff Dye & Sean Cullen were pretty terrif too.

Tuesday, March 09, 2010


I couldn't just leave the question out there, I had to go nosing around wiki and I have returned triumphant. I learned that Samoas also came to be known as Caramel Delites and Samoas and Caramel Delites are actually coexisting. Well, I don't believe any troops are selling both Samoas and Caramel Delites (though there IS a slight difference--I'll get to that in a moment) but they coexist on a national scale. Wikipedia further elucidates--

"Samoas® and the alternate version, Caramel deLites, are the second most popular variety of Girl Scout cookie sold by the Girl Scouts of the USA. Both brands consist of a circular vanilla cookie about 2 inches in diameter with a small hole in the center, covered in caramel and toasted coconut and then striped with chocolate. This is one of the few cookies in the group that has differences depending on the bakery, which is the reason the cookies are sold under two different names. Samoas® are made by Little Brownie Bakers. They are circular, with an orange color and are thicker from top to bottom, usually they also contain more caramel per coconut, and they are made with dark chocolate. The Caramel deLites, made by ABC Bakers, are actually hexagonal, with a more yellowish tinge, are made with milk chocolate rather than dark chocolate, and more of the cookie comes through in the flavor because of the lower caramel content. Overall they are both very popular, and most people never notice the differences. Both varieties come in purple boxes. The two types of cookie account for 19% of Girl Scout cookie sales, making them the second most popular types. "

Now, my GSC peddlar was selling Samoas not Caramel Delites, but I'd like to figure out how to buy a box of each, just to disprove that author's smug "..and most people never notice the differences" assertion. Betcha I would!! I have a HIGHLY EVOLVED palate!!

I feel a bit with my copious wiki-text pasting, I have sucked all the mystery out of Girl Scout Cookies. Well, here's another cookie puzzler to ponder...I SWEAR I won't turn around and Google this in 5 minutes, I will leave it a total mystery for your pondering enjoyment.
WHY DON'T THEY SELL COOKIES AT MCDONALDS ANYMORE?? Their mini chocolate chippers were fairly decent, but I especially LOOOOOVED the McDonaldland kind. All the cookies looked grotesquely dissimilar to the characters they were 'sposed to represent, but that was half the fun...
I'm going to get mad controversial here and posit that the greatest Girl Scout cookie of all time is the Samoa. The masses love their Thin Mints , and I can't say as I'm averse to Thin Mints, but the Samoa is a VASTLY superior cookie.

Wasn't there a few years where the Girl Scout cookie powers-that-be renamed the Samoa? I'm pretty sure there was a brief era where my order was all--"OK I'll take two boxes of the caramelly coconutty--the--oh, they're the--umm, they used to be called SAMOAS".

Holy schnikey--you gotta be joking!!

Stunning news item du jour. The last time I was this shocked, AP had just broke the news about bears shitting in the woods!!

Tuesday, March 02, 2010

spacing out

Since I play my car tune-age so damn loud , it is important to me to have something cool playing when I drive through town...when I remember to pay attention to what's playing, that is. Today I was lost in thought and cruised through town blaring the theme song to Benson

There are a few TV theme songs that are cruising-through-town worthy. "Benson" is NOT one of them. "Magnum P.I." is fairly boss. Oh, and 2 of the coolest instrumental TV theme songs *ever* (the emphatic asterisks denote here that this is not subjective, I am now stating factual, empirical TRUTH)-- "Simon & Simon" and "Sanford & Son" I am going to email Danger Mouse and see if there's a mash-up to be composed there...

Well, anywhooo, speaking of spacing out (I am loathe to admit this. I am SUCH a fecking idjit !!) I pulled in to Texaco to get gas on Friday night and I side swiped the concrete guard that keeps people from hitting the gas tanks. So yeah, good news-- I didn't plow into a gas tank and explode myself. Bad news-- the sloppy jalopy has a monstrous gash in the back passenger's side door. I WISH I could plead drunkenness...but that was not the case. I was just driving, didn't have my head in the game, and wanting to pull up close to the tank (I am usually a bit too far away), I botched the endeavor entirely. Yeah, I pulled up close, alright. I said "FUUUUUCK!" and then I sat there, dazed for a moment, and was going to either cry or let loose with a litany of sundry cusses but then it popped into my mind how, earlier in the day, I was pulling notes from the file of a patient who is getting Hospice care from us, and I spotted that his birth year is 1984. AWFUL, I know. But it does give one perspective. I wound up saying to myself -"OK. Stupid. Yes. But in the grand scheme of things it doesn't fucking matter, eh?"

Nevertheless, it's still a smidge embarrassing when I get asked the inevitable "WHAT THE HELL happened to your car?"

Flaggy flaggy flaggy flag

As I mentioned recently, I'm not at all immune to silly humor. Quite the opposite, actually.

To wit, I am a big fan of this digital short---

Oh, you *sooo* had me at "Neo-Nazi Potsie flag"


I was picking the mail up from the mailbox at the end of our building today and I had a slightly oddball encounter. I was retreating from said mailbox and walking up the walkway to Dartware (one of our neighbor businesses) is this middle-aged fellow who, in one hand, has a plastic plate with a half sandwich on it (I neglected to note what variety of sammie) and with his other hand he was pushing a unicycle. I have seen someone unicycling in that parking lot before, but I don’t think it was this same guy I saw today. So I have hatched a theory that there is a unicycling cult at that company. I haven’t decided yet if they’re ALL about unicycling, or if unicycling is just a piece of their Core Values. They may be UFS (Unicyclists For Satan).

Anyways, I chatted with the sandwich-bearing unicyclist this afternoon, and he didn’t seem overtly Satanic. I jokingly warned him “Don’t you DARE eat that while unicycling! You could CHOKE. That is very dangerous.” And he said , “ I won’t! There is a lot of paperwork involved “ --or something like that, I’m paraphrasing, I hope I didn’t hear him wrong about paperwork (I’m 99% sure that’s what he said) because I then said “Oh, the waivers? Yeah, I can imagine…”