Nice chair. . .FOR ME TO POOP ON!!

I SOO don’t wanna be here today. The only thing that will spare me from harboring lasting resentment against the organization is if I’m able to fit in a goodly amount of slacking off time. If I were an employer, I would absolutely allot time for my employees to slack off. I think I would give them a whole hour (in addition to the lunch hour... something like a ½ hr a.m. block of downtime, lunch hour, ½ hr afternoon block of downtime) Of course, I’m sure any company I was heading up would be of the creative sort…a sort of place where slacking off could be construed as constructive & crucial to production. Also I’m sure any company I was heading up would tank in a fairly short amount of time. It’s quite unbecoming to be self-deprecating, I realize, but I’m just not business-minded, is all. I have plenty other redeeming qualities. Truly, I do…

I have been preoccupying my mid—late morning hours with pondering what to get for lunch. Can you believe I didn’t score any leftovers from my sister’s yesterday?? Pfff! I suppose I’m not *entitled*. I have no legal claim on the leftovers (don’t need Starr Jones to tell me that). But I was expecting a li’l somethin’-somethin’. A smallish doggie bag. A pittance, if you will. But I gots nothin’ . … therefore I’ve been perusing the online menu for 99. Nothing therein is particularly enticing to me, but I’m still hooked on the notion of 99 takeout because it’s within walking distance.

Have I mentioned they’re remodeling our offices? I moved into my new, improved work station on Nov 17th. I got a new desk as well as this swanky new light blue office chair that I realized this morning already has a stain on it. A small stain that—I regret to report-- resembles a poop stain. Why, oh, WHY did they hafta order light blue chairs?? Oh and no , to the best of my knowledge, I did not poop my pants at work. I do believe that I would notice and subsequently remember pooping my pants at work. I think it’s dirt. Surely, it’s from my mindless habit of sitting with my right foot tucked underneath me. So it may really be a poop stain if I’d tromped thru dog dookie on one of my lunch break walks. If I had the privacy of a cubicle, I might cop a squat & sniff the seat of my chair but our office is very open plan and I don’t fancy anyone &everyone seeing me do that, y’know?