Wednesday, July 25, 2012

Wasted Ink

Today after waiting for a looooong, long time for my Help Desk ticket to be answered, I got word from IT that they finagled another license for Adobe Pro and they could install it on my computer that afternoon. HUZZAAAH!!

They were to commence installation at 3:30--planned to coincide with an out-of-the-office errand I had to run.  So prior to dashing out, I made this (below) and taped it to my monitor--

Only to find it there when I got back... and installation just wrapping up. He had done the whole thing remotely from the IT lair.  I dunno why I forgot that they did that.

And the thing is...I don't even particularly like Jason. He is my least favorite of 3 IT guys (none of whom I particularly like).  But work flow was kind of at an ebb and I just got a colorful set of glitter gel pens I was jonesin' to wield.   It would have been fine to just leave a cute note on my desk even if he is  unworthy.  NO WAY in Hades was I going to make an extra effort to deliver this unto him.  So into the garbage it went.  But first, on a whim, I decided to scan it to myself....I could crop out the "Jason" and would surely have many opportunities to make use of the "Thanx" 

I bestow unto y'all the original, uncropped scribble.  I apologize that the scan doesn't convey the majestic glitteriness.  Hey, at last check, I had 19 followers to this blog.  What're the odds that one of 'em is named Jason?  Well, shit, I haven't a clue (I have NO aptitude for mathin' whatsoev)  So hey f you're a non-Jason,I've given you a nice statistics prob to play with there. You're welcome.
And if your name is Jason, THANX for reading my blog, Jason. 

Sounds, Sights, Gustatory Delights..etc..

I spotted that the public library I frequent had Season 1 of True Blood available to check out. I had been intrigued by that show but sadly lacking in the premium cable channels. HBO has had a quite a recent history of unattainable programming that I covet : Rome , Deadwood, Flight of the Concords (happy epilogue:I did wind up getting both seasons of FotC. *Terrific* stuff) True Blood, Eastbound& Down, Boardwalk Empire. OK, well I call it “unattainable”when I really mean not freely attainable. Uggh..y’know, entertainment pickin’s be getting pretty slim for cheapskates like me. Soon all I will have to watch will be town meetings on public access.
But anyway, I took out all 5 discs of Season 1, and was stoked to delve into the series from its beginning. Anyone who knows me knows I like to take in things ab ovo.
I TORE through those discs and then I was like—DAAAAAMMIT—my library only has that one season!! I pondered initiating my very first interlibrary loan transaction but opted not to. My burgeoning True Blood addiction demanded more instant gratification. Said addiction was so powerful that it trumped my pennypinchery and I went to a movie rental place and started renting subsequent seasons. You read right—a movie rental place not an online streaming site or a Red Box kiosk. How surprisingly old timey, eh? This place opened up back in April and I went in shortly thereafter out of curiosity. I almost felt like I was on an archaeological expedition of sorts. They had some special going, so I signed up for a membership card& rented 3 DVDs at that time, but after returning those 3, I hadn’t been back there. Until now, that is. While I did have to expend some moolah, it was a fairly shrewd way to go. I looked at True Blood on iTunes and it was quite pricey. Seems to me that all their TV /movie offerings are. This shop, MGM (not named for the studio, actually. Stands for “Movies-Games-Music”) has specials everyday, has a *ton* of TV shows in stock (including seasons 1-4 of True Blood) and all the rentals you get for 5days.
Ok, I didn’t plan to spin such a tangent there, but I think I was trying to point out that it can pay to be a bit anachronistic sometimes.
I’m 2 episodes into Season 4 now, and have come to suspect that, while I rather LOVE the show, my addiction is actually an Alexander Skarsgard addiction. Oh. My. Homina, homina, homina. WORD... he is the ULTIMATE. I always imagined that if I met a celeb IRL, (I have, actually, but ‘twas long ago and underwhelming. Full list of celebrity encounters available upon request ) my sangfroid would be unwavering and they would be quite charmed by my uncommon poise. But I tell ya, if I saw Alexander Skarsgard buying socks at Kohl's, fuck sangfroid, I would drop to one knee and propose marriage before introductions. Hey, it could happen. Kohl's is the #1 clothing retailer in the nation. (No b.s., that. I think I picked that up from some slideshow)
So that’s about all I’m watching right now. As a longtime Project Runway devotee, I did commence ta watchin’ the Season 10 premiere last Thursday, but I fell asleep 1/3 of the way through.
Seen a coupla movies . . .
"Brave" made me a little weepy (if you saw it, you can probably guess the part that got my eyes leakin’). I rented "The Artist", at long last, and enjoyed it lots. Even though I appreciated the li’l experiment of doing a silent movie in the modern age, I wasn't sure I was going to be able to, y’know, get into it. But Dujardin really reels you in. He deserved that Oscar. I did discover that when watching a silent movie I’m uncontrollably compelled to provide dialogue from time to time. Just at moments where I think it’s really warranted.
Thanks to my coworker Paul, I have knocked one song off my impossible wish list of tune-age (these are songs I want that are nowhere to be found on iTunes nor are they downloadable from  Amazon...necessitating a bothersome CD purchase) He had this CD that had the Sublime cover of the Hong Kong Phooey theme song that I'd been raving about.  He brought it into work and I imported the whole album into my iTunes library.  It's--overall--pretty dope. Ramones doing the Spiderman theme and Sponge's take on "Go Speed Racer Go"  are both stand-outs.
I'm still desperate to get this loco cover by the Cramps--

And of course, for a long time now, the top 20 or so spots on my Impossible Tune-age list are taken up by AC/DC songs.  I effing adore AC/DC, but I am still peeved as hell at their iTunes resistance.  Plus they throw in an added degree of difficulty by not having any sort of Greatest Hits compilation CD. So there's approx 20 of their songs I want, but they're all dispersed amongst different albums.  I think I read that the band's feeling is that they want their fans to experience an album in its entirety, and not just pick & choose scraps of it.  I think that mindset is not uncommon among artists, but geeeeeeez. Can they not empathize with the average music consumer and see how fucking annoying  that is?
Not long ago, my friend Paula posted on her FB wall "Going on an iTunes spree. Suggestions?"  I made with the suggestions ASAP since, as you've surely surmised I don't need much cajoling to get me to dictate to people what their tastes should be. Yeah, I realize it's a bit obnoxious, but it can't be helped.  There are just a chosen few of us that are cosmically preordained to be THE Arbiters of Fine Taste. Myself, GOOP-y Gwyneth Paltrow, Fred Savage, a handful of others that wish to remain's our calling.
So my suggestions--

Hunhh..shit..I just realized, whilest screen cappin' that, that I had a duplicate in there (8 ,10)  Ok, so I will give you a new #8 of "Lights Out, Words Gone" by Bombay Bicycle Club.  That's a lovely, lovely song.

I'm just about outta steam, but I did imply "gustatory delights" would be provided, didn't I?  Recently I tried out BK's Southwestern Breakfast Burrito and I liked it a lot.  I kinda prefer the picante sauce that McDonalds doles out with their b-fast burritos, but otherwise the BK one is superior.  They throw a hash brown over the top of the fillings and that adds this nice mystery-crispy factor.  Oh, except I just obliterated all the mystery for you. My bad.  It's bigger and more caloric and probably fattier than the McD equivalent,  but what's the point of having a wee skimpy breakfast burrito that is so unfullfilling that you wind up eating quadruple the lunch? I try to eat inverted triangle style-- a bigger breakfast, scale down your lunch some, and then do a small dinner.   Oh, and pathetically, I am in a position  these days to offhandedly know that the BK burrito is only 4 Weight Watchers Points more than the McDonalds one.  (So far, everything's going in the right direction, lbs-wise (though ever so gradually) but I was thinking about how if an investigator were to "profile " me now, utilizing my Bing search history, he/she would conclude that I am incredibly, unbearably,banal. "Carbohydrates in Orangina" "What is the points value of a Twizzler?"  Oy vey...)
Hmm..I feel like I've disappointed in the "gustatory delights" initiative.  It's just that it's too highbrow a term for BK fare. Perhaps it escaped your notice but IT RHYMED, ok? Cut me some freeeakin' slack!!

Here's a visual reiteration of an earlier point...

I should've embedded a video, but it was tough enough deciding on 1 pic. But, truly, a video would've been better. You need to behold his movement & mannerisms to get the Optimum MMmm--MMmm- MMM!

Friday, July 13, 2012

Punchy Friday & Office Pet Peeves

Before I commence to grousin' about work, let me start off with a dash of positivity.  The best thing about my job (aside from the $$)  is my gaggle of work pals and the oddball banter that can erupt between us.  Now, on Mondays I am no good for banter...I pretty much have the disposition of a wet cat and it's advisable to just leave me be. But there is some good banter to be had Tues-Friday and I definitely  peak on Friday...when I am feeling the "punchiest"

Lemme make with some examples and I do so hope it will provide somewhat of a voyeuristic thrill...

 Bookish banter with Paul...he was stunned by overhearing these 2 coworkers chat about the 50 Shades of Grey series and one of these ladies remarking that these were the first books she's read since high school...

from a week or so ago...

Ok , ok, ok chortles aside...onto the rants.  Here are some of the things that most irk me about life on the cubicle farm...

Mass lunch orders-- I admit, this is a weird thing to be annoyed by.  So the scenario is this-- I get an idea of where to go for lunch (I am struck with "LUNCHSPIRATION", as I call it...yes I really do call it that)  and I mention to my good pal Rox "I wanna order Cantore's to deliver. You in?"  Invariably, Rox proclaims loudmouthedly "WE'RE ORDERING LUNCH FROM CANTORE'S!" The immediate result is about 20 "Oh me too!"s.  The time I intended for my break  is swiftly  approaching, but I've not ordered yet, because Pam & Joanne are looking over the menu, and oh-- maybe Shawna wants to order too.  And, natch, there's a dozen quirks & codicils to Pam's order and Shawna's totally MIA. Then, when everybody's made up their minds, somehow, I wind up with all the cash, doing the ordering.  Someone's order gets fucked up, someone else thinks I tipped excessively...BAAH. Lunch is NOT supposed to be so high-pressure.  I've trained myself now...I will actually email to Rox "I'm getting Cantore's for lunch.  You can order too, but KEEP YOUR DAMN MOUTH SHUT ABOUT IT"

This is even more crotchety of me-- I hate passing around cards for people.  It's not that I don't wanna impart get well wishes or happy birthdays.  I just hate how the circulation of the card devolves into a disorganized clusterfuck.  What they ought to do is..if there is a Happy Birthday card for Joanne, send out an "Email All" email, then open up the distribution list and delete Joanne's email address from it, then broadcast "There is a birthday card for Joanne at so-n-so's desk.  Stop by between now and 3pm on Friday to sign.  We will be giving her the card at 3pm Friday when we have cake in the lunchroom." But that is not how it's done in my office.  They oh-so-cleverly put the card in a manila folder and someone signs it to another person to sign...and it gets shuttled around the office thusly.  Oh sure, that sounds simple enough, but it always gets to a point when, the card is getting pretty loaded up with signatures and it takes a bit of figuring to see who has & hasn't signed it (to determine whom you should pass it along to) And often you wind up with someone wandering down the aisle , a daft cow, saying "Did you sign this? Did YOU sign this? Card for Joanne--who needs to sign it?"  So me, I get the card and I just take a moment and  figure this out by reading.  Often, I get these cards to sign before Paul will (probl'y 'cause many in the office are put off by Paul). So I would sign, check & verify that there is no Paul scrawl and carry it next door to his desk to him.  He always would sign it and then just immediately bring it right back to me. GRRRRR-- did that burn my toaster strudel!!  I put that in the past tense, because this pattern has ceased.....well, I just don't give him anything to sign anymore.

I also get annoyed by the lack of resourcefulness in my office.  I get the sense that there are just three, maybe four of us who get how to look up information on the internet. It is way more commonplace for somebody to just bellow "WHAT'S THE PHONE NUMBER FOR THE RANDOLPH SENIOR CENTER??"  Are you for real that unevolved? Seriously????

And lastly, but not at all leastly, I am probably getting an ulcer from all the piss-poor spelling & grammar in my coworkers' emails. It aggravates me THAT much.  Proofreading is a dying art form. It really is sickening.  I am even more appalled when I see such sloppiness in management emails.  Dammit, I expect a modicum of education and literacy apparent in folks that make 4X what I do.  Oh, and all of the emails from our intake department are IN ALL CAPS. ALL THE FECKING TIME.  Sometimes a rookie to the agency will question why that is and the explanation often  given is something to the effect of " Oh, well, it was decided , for consistency's sake, that all the case notes they input in the system, would be in all caps".  Now that is the popular wisdom, but I  never give that answer.  That is a BULLSHIT explanation!! Unacceptable!! If you can't figure out how to disengage your caps lock or if you find disengaging and re-locking too labor intensive are seriously fucking impaired in my estimation.