Friday, September 28, 2007

T-storms B-ball and H-ween movies

I had a total blank slate for my weekend when suddenly the cosmos intervened this morning. My pal Roxanne emailed me to see if Iwas at all interested in taking in a Red Sox game. The bank she works for has been going through some arduous and mysterious “conversion” (I suppose, though, that it remains so mysterious only because I’ve never been sufficiently interested in what exactly THE CONVERSION entails, so I’ve never quizzed R for details) and as a reward for all their extra time & effort the big wiggies gave out Red Sox tix to some of the peons. It’s this package through Milne Travel where a bus carts you to & from the game. So that’s the plan for Sunday.. Red Sox game w/ Roxanny. I’m not the most avid of sports fans…ahhh, well, not avid at all really, but I am pretty excited nonetheless. Roxanne pitched the notion of skipping the game and taking a taxi from the stadium to Faneuil Hall to shop & lunch & sight see , & I was pretty damn tempted but ultimately I vetoed that plan. It would be wasting FREE TICKETS for one thing... and also I have never been to any pro sports game..I feel like it’s something I ought to experience.

It’s funny..just last night I had been thinking about Boston , more specifically, thinking that it’s been too damn long since I’ve visited. I have no good excuse really, just haven’t gotten around to organizing a trip in a few years. OK, well if I am to be perfectly honest, I must confess that driving & navigating around Bean Town intimidates me terribly. So this bus trip is ideal, huh?
I was thinking about Boston because of the terrible thunderstorms last night. I was driving home and there were these GINORMO-COLOSSAL bolts zig-zagging across the sky…it would go from these massive bolts to the 360 degree radius around me lighting up to midday brightness. Intense! I’m not afraid during a T-storm as long as I’m inside…I definitely am skittish about going out in it. I always feel super safe when I’m in my car. Thunderstorms are actually pretty rad to drive in... as long as your visibility isn't getting f***ed up by torrential rain. Last night I kept hydroplaning all over the damn place, which freaked me out , so I dropped down to like, 10 mph under the speed limit. I could practically feel the vexation of the truck behind me. Maybe I imagined that but seriously, the dude was right on my ass my whole ride home.

But anyways--back to the lightning-Boston correlation. Lightning invariably reminds me of the Theater of Electricity at the Boston Museum of Science where these huge columns with big orbs on the top of ‘em (oh alright, it is an air-insulated Van de Graaff generator , if I must be accurate) shoot lightning (out of their orbs). And a museum staffer gives this schpiel on Ben Franklin, lightning & electricity (I forget in what order) from inside of this big bird cage. He chats about how safe from lightning one is when in an auto. And then he makes the lightning ZZZZZZAAP! his birdcage!! In case you think I’m hallucinating, looky HERE . I haven’t been to the BMoS in quite some time, but I’ve been a slew of times (probably 7…does 7 count as a slew??) and I never miss the Theater of Electricity shows. I sometimes skip the Omni Theater, but that’s not my choosing. I tend to have the misfortune of going to the BMoS with people who are made woozy/ queasy by the Omni Theater and my party winds up skipping it for that reason. Me, I LOVE me some Omni, it doesn’t make me woozy or queasy, but I have not partaken as often as I’d have liked.
Anyways, I always think of that show during a lighning storm (I think it’s a real testament to the effectiveness of the lightning show that I’ve carried it around in the foreground of my cluttered noggin for nearly 20 years now) . Now, thunder makes me think of Poltergeist, when Craig T Nelson--or maybe the chick that played the mom-- was explaining to the dorky son how to determine how far away a storm is by counting between thunder rumbles (I’ve heard that before --outside of horror movies. I don’t really see how that’s scientifically feasible) this is on the same night that the creepy tree swallows him up, but of course prior to the creepy tree swallowing him up..and OK I KNOW the name of the actress who played the mom (and if pressed I will name names) but my acting like I didn’t know was a passive aggressive means of complimenting Craig T. Nelson via indicating that he is my fave Poltergeist parent by a large margin. I hope he remains untouched by that ghastly “Poltergeist Curse” ...he seems like a cool shit.

Speaking of horror movies (sorry for being SUCH a tangent whore tonight) I really want to do a horror movie marathon for my birthday. I've put that out there for my past 3 birthdays and nobody's cooperating. But if I keep harping on it they'll have to obey?? Right?? Can't people just cater to my every whim on my birthday? Is that too damn much to ask?

I don't like all horror movies (I am totally put off by the likes of Saw or Hostel or anything Rob Zombie had a hand in making)and the ones I do like I really only get in the mood for in the fall. Here is a list of movies I own that I would like to submit for the proposed Halloween 07 Halloween Movie Marathon (**indicates one I've not yet watched)

1. Halloween II **

2. Mad Monster Party (not a horror movie,btw. It's utterly delightful)

3. American Werewolf in London (a classic)

4.Poltergeist (ditto)

5. E.T. ( I actually own a VHS tape of this. I have been super tempted on several occasions--this past weekend in Target, for instance-- to buy the E.T. DVD. But even though VHS is the LAMEST ever I still find myself adverse to buying a movie I already own, y'know??)

6.Suspira ** (kind of an obscure one. Write -ups on it seem intriguing though)

7. Amityville Horror**(I bought the 2005 remake w/ Ryan Reynolds in it. I debated for a bit about buying the original vs. the remake. I finally opted for the remake because even though the whole Amityville premise intrigues me, it's not guaranteed that I will for sure like the movie. This way, if I watch the movie and it sucks, you've got a sort of consolation prize. Y'know, you'll grouse: "Well, that was a damned waste of time...but hey, at least Ryan Reynolds was running around in fiiiiine form in a clingy wet tee. There's that, anyhow" Still, I'd like to check out the original too.

8.An American Haunting * (*meaning I watched 1/2 of it)

9. Evil Dead 2 ** (How can I not like it? I like 1 & even the 3rd installment-which really seemed more like an adventure flick. Plus, Bruce Campbell is the cat's jammies)

Also for an ideal Halloween movie marathon, one would have to get ahold of The Worst Witch and maybe Teen Witch and the Thriller video (is that on DVD? It oughtta be!) Oh, and DEFINITELY something with Vincent Price in it! I've watched quite a bit of Price and I particularly dug The Abominable Dr Phibes . I've not been able to get my hands on The Masque of the Red Death though, and that looks pretty rad.

Please lemme know if I'm leaving out anything crucial, eh?

Thursday, September 27, 2007

kooky new addition to my Amazon wish list...

Having never seen an episode of Dark Shadows, I nonetheless find myself suddenly very intrigued by the show. I think it sprang up as an Amazon recommendation when I looked up American Gothic ...I LOOOVED that tragically short lived show and thought of it today because today happens to be the 49th birthday of one Mr. Shaun Cassidy--he of the Da-doo-ron-ron album with the ginormo head shot of him sporting a stupid visor (I hate visors) and also the producer of American Gothic. Oh is the visual aide goodness you're dyin' for...

Yep...we owned this. After hunting down the album cover image, yes, I do realize that that is NOT a horrible visor. In my mind's eye's misty memories it was a visor, but we learn that in real life it was not. But that is a queer looking cap there, no?? I remember kind of crushing over this album cover (when I was like, in kindnergarten, which is silly enough, I should've been ga-ga over that kid in E.T. or something. Yeah..Henry Thomas..not the gawky older brother... whatever happened to that dude anyways??) For the record...this is no longer twitterpation inducing to me. Dude is WAAAY too pretty. But I have digressed severely... back to Dark Shadows...

I read it was SC's b-day, thought of that great show he produced and went to put it on my Amazon wish list, after which, Amazon spit back Dark Shadows as a recommendation. So I read up on it a lot here and a li'l bit on Amazon. And then I was pretty quickly convinced that this was a show for me...much like that sudden fixation I had earlier this year with The Prisoner (also on my wish list) . I just thought it totally sounded (pardon the trite phrase) "right up my alley". I added "Dark Shadows: DVD Collection Vol 1" to the wish list and more and more volumes would spring up (which I would add to the wish list). So there are 26 Volumes. Seems like they could condense this somehow? Where's the damned box set??

Fittingly, it is storming pretty hellaciously outside (the right sort of atmospheric conditions for like, I dunno, a vampiric soap opera or somethin') . I started this post (this **BONUS** post) to kill time waiting for the T-storms to taper off before I made a dash for my vehicle. But--just my flippin' luck-- the weather seems to have intensified out there.

I would set up a cot and crash in me cubby, if it weren't for the season premiere of The Office tonight...

Verdict is in...

. . . on my new 'do. I've had it for a week now and have resolutely decided that I like it very much indeed. Well, probably I'd determined that by the weekend, but I just now got around to telling y'all.

I got a shoulder-length layered cut with bangs. I have this straight, fine hair that really needs layers in it if it is to show any signs of life at all. So it is a cut I've had before. So nothing revolutionary, but it works. Me likey. And I am happy having honest-to-goodness, bona fide bangs again. Last time I went somewhere new, and I asked for bangs and the chick supposedly gave me "side bangs" but they really looked liked just another layer. So I went with the "wispy" model this time around and the result is quite fetching, methinks.

But the color is really the bestest. My hairdresser and I pored over the swatch board for a few minutes and finally decided to mix red with a dark brown. I wanted to go red but I didn't want to really evoke Lucille Ball (or Ronald McDonald)...hence the addition of the dark brown. The resulting color is tres chic.

Wednesday, September 26, 2007

cinematic blather

Here's some stuff I've been perusing on the Worst Previews website--

Stuff in theaters now that I might check out--

3:10 to Yuma - I like Westerns. I am by no means a Western's one of those areas I dabble in (I am a great dabbler). Usually for a Western to pull me in, it has to star someone I dig. Christian Bale certainly fits that bill...

Shoot 'Em Up Yeah... "action" isn't really my genre but this film seems to offer up some PRIMO Clive Owen ogling. In case I've not mentioned it previously, I HEART Clive. I'm pretty sure I have mentioned that. A few weeks ago US Weekly had this pointless little blurb (it may or may not have been in their insipid "Stars--They're Just Like Us!!" was of like caliber, anyways) about Clive and how devoted he is to his wife. It had some quote he'd given about how his wife is a queen and he would never endanger what he has at home (awwww) and accompanying this blurb was some snapshot of him shopping with the Mrs. which instantaneously brought out the petty bitch in my initial response was "My...the Mrs is rather frumpy...somewhat dumpy" and that THRILLED me. Is that wicked of me?

Anyways..the WP page for Shoot 'Em Up has the TV trailer we've all seen, but then it has a clip that's uhh, ahem... not for general audiences...due to incidence of graphic violence and the much less offputting incidence of Clive Owen getting nakey.

Some upcoming flicks of note--

PS I Love You - Basically any project starring Gerard Butler (siiigh!) I consider noteworthy. This one is a total SKIP though. He must have committed to this prior to 300. I feel certain of it. He is soooo much better than this. I could totally have overlooked this being formulaic pap (hell, I do indulge in formulaic pap from time to time) but to watch Ger be all in love with Hilary Swank? UUGGH..I don't think I could bear it. I know she's this multiple Oscar winner/ karate prodigy, but I can't stand Swank. Is she too horsey for my liking? Too Swanky? I just can't pinpoint what specifically is about her that irks me so... Also irksome is how in this PS I Love You trailer, I'm pretty sure the announcer dude says "JARED Butler". I'm pretty positive that is NOT how it's said, you ill-prepared bastard.

Virgin Territory - This looks like Shakespearian Porky's or somethin'. A costume piece + teen flick? HOW can I resist that? This is such a guilty pleasure, I probably will just wait & rent it (or go to the theater in deep disguise)

No Country for Old Men First off, I really dig the Coen bros. Fargo was terrif, and O Brother Where Art Thou & The Big Lebowski are 2 of my absolute FAVES. With this movie, they're working with Tommy Lee Jones whom I also rather fond of. Plus the story looks good...all advance reviews I read on IMDB were positive. I may even read the book.

August Rush Ok, the big draw here, I confess, is Jonathan Rhys-Meyers as one of the romantic leads. And it's not just Meyers playing some hot dude (effortlessly playing a hot dude, on account of his innate hotness) but he's playing some guitar god/rock star type and you know a guitar and an ounce of musical talent increases one's hotness exponentially.

Juno --this looks really good. Ellen Page is a promising young talent (is that snooty and condescending sounding?? It was supposed to just be complimentary) And I do enjoy Jason Bateman (even if I never did watch any of his TV shows)

Enchanted-- this looks like a good one to take the nieces to . I am always pleased to see James Marsden get work too.

Southland Tales -- I am *very* eager for this one. It's the 2nd film from the creator of Donnie it should be interesting (not sure whether or not I can count on "enjoyable") It has this giant oddball mixed bag of an ensemble cast ...headed up by The R-- um, I'm sorry, Dwayne Johnson.. who I really dig for some inexplicable reason. (Hell, I might even see The Game Plan...y'know, if somebody was buying my ticket for me..) and he's reuniting with Seann William "Stiffler" "3First Names" Scott whom I also enjoy. Another enjoyable male in this cast is Justin Timberlake, but it looks like, from the movie's image gallery, that JT plays some deformed cretin. So I'm not so much looking forward to his part in this epic. Other interesting casting choices--
*Wallace Shawn (very prolific actor...but he will always be Vizzini in The Princess Bride to me)

*lots of past & present SNL folk: Jon Lovitz, Cheri Oteri, Janeane Garofaolo, Amy Poehler

*celebrity alien Bai Ling

*Will Sasso -who (even though he's been in some movies) I think of as a TV actor... I'm always interested to see TV actors "transition" to the big screen . Which brings me to the most intriguing casting choice of all...

*John Laroquette-- Don't get me wrong..I like this dude. He is by far my FAVORITE Night Court alum. So odd & yet cool that he got picked for this big production. True, he did land a role on "Boston Public" but as far as movies go, when was the last time he did a movie that wasn't for the Hallmark Channel??

The IMDB genre classification for Southland Tales calls it a "Comedy / Drama / Musical / Sci-Fi / Thriller" Who could resist that? I'm particularly curious to see how it's a musical??

Now, watching the trailer I thought "Oh..well this looks pretty nutty, but doesn't look like it will rival Donnie Darko for WTF?? Factor" But I'm no longer sure about that..I went to the official website and that made me think this movie might even surpass D.D. in the WTF?? dept. I'm torn, really. You watch the trailer proffered on its Worst Previews page and then go to and then you come up with a verdict...

since I've got Movies Present & Movies Future covered, let's bring it full circle with..

Movies I Regret Missing this Summer

Two big regrets-- I read the novels Evening and Stardust and fully intended to see their film versions. In my defense.. neither movie got a very widespread release (at least not in my part o' the country) Still, I can't shake the feeling that I've done a poor job at supporting Claire Danes this summer.

Speaking of super-limited film's not even evident that Eagle Vs Shark was ever released (only that the mighty IMDB & Worst Previews sez that it was) But if it hadn't had a wee, miniscule, top-secret premiere, I think I woulda seen the thing. I don't get HBO, but from what little I've seen of the Flight of the Conchords guys, I've become rather smitten. This isn't really a Conchords film but it does feature 1/2 of the duo (the towering, bespectacled half) Jermaine Clement who I find oddly alluring... (his co-Conchord Brett is pretty attractive as well, but as he happens to be a traditionally handsome fellah, I would , in his case, omit the "oddly" part of the compliment)

grody to the max

Totally ignoring the news I should be tracking (presidential campaigns, Myanmar, the WAR, etc...) I tend to zero in on THIS type of story.

In fact, I so enjoyed this particular tale that I read it aloud to my office mates. I was particularly delighted by the whole familial rift subplot...I mean, imagine you're in this family and you have this oddball uncle/ cousin/ nephew who won't throw away his severed leg for mysterious "religious" reasons. I suppose we're all apt to have that "weird uncle"...but I can't fathom having that weird of an uncle.

Now, surprise severed leg stories do NOT make me gag (got quite a chortle out of it, really). But my lunch, on the other hand..BLEECCCCCH!!! I stopped at the Co-op last night and grabbed some eats-- their deli dept. has terrific take-out. Really unique fare...not your run-of-the-mill deli dept grub (potato salad, macaroni salad, etc.) Some of the stuff I'll get there: salmon & samosas, mini turkey meatloafs, quesadillas..(the list goes on & on)....a lot of good food. Anyways I grabbed , for today's lunch, three terriyaki beef skewers & about a half lb of broccolini. The skewers were yummy..had a really good marinade and seemed leaner (and perhaps of a better grade of meat) then I get from a Chinese restaurant. But the broccolini...EWWW. I'm not averse to my veggies, not at all, and I actually happen to be one of the minority that likes broccoli...but this stuff tasted like it was sauteed in CLOROX. Still, I forced about 5 of 'em down my gullet (resulting in horrible tortured sounds that I could not suppress from bursting from my larynx) and picked out all the mushrooms (those weren't quite so bad) trying to come away with what nutritional value I could.

Tuesday, September 25, 2007

celebrity birthday jamboree

It struck me as rather nutty to discover that Catherine Zeta Jones was born on this day in 1969 ...on her husband's 25th birthday.

If CZJ actually had her li'l heart set on marrying somebody with the same birthday as her, I can come up with at least 5 cooler people she coulda wed...

1.Will Smith (b. 9/25/1968)
2. Hal Sparks (b. 9/25/1971) I loved him on Celebrity Duets. He made it all the way to the final three, ya know! They oughtta do another season of that show. Oh, and another season of Rock Star too, please...
3.Michael Madsen (b. 9/25/1958) I don't even think I need to enumerate all the hows and whys of Michael Madsen being a cool shit. It's just. . just..established FACT. I love this guy.
4. Anson Williams (b. 9/25/1949) aka POTSY. I just learned today that this dude is the nephew of Dr Henry Heimlich (of HEIMLICH MANEUVER FAME) I am not even making that up. Wow. Cool garbanzos.
5. Shel Silverstein (b 9/25/1930; d. 5/10/1999) Hey she apparently likes older dudes...why not one who was 39 years older (and could rhyme)??

But it's just as well that ZJ married lame old Michael Douglas..I'm not particularly a fan of hers anyway..

Monday, September 24, 2007

she flies thru the air with the greatest of ease...

The dress I have on today totally looks like maternity wear. Don't get me wrong..I still adore it. The color is lovely --a very dark green-blue (using the Crayola rule here, wherein all hyphenated two color color names, the second color is predominant) and I also picked up a shirt of the same color so I have a neat monochromatic thing a-happenin'.It's a fine cord jumper- comes just to the knee, with big woody buttons at the straps and (*bonus*) pockets. But it's what is called "trapeze-cut" which is funny, because this is soo NOT the cut of attire that I would wear on a trapeze. Although, considering the fact that I haven't the upper arm strength to master the monkey bars, I don't think the what-to-wear-on-the-trapeze dilemma is truly apt to plague me. But I digress. I suppose they call it "trapeze" cut because of how it "swings away" from the body. In the case of this jumper, swings faaaar away. However, I don't think a size down would've fit up top (although, I confess, I didn't try on a different size) I should mention the deal -clincher detail here--that Old Navy had this frock marked down more than 50%. Because nobody was buying these bun-in-the-ovenizers?? Maybe. But I am a sucker for a bargain and I am in love with this color. I paired it with a denim jacket and scarf to sort of detract from any excessive trapeziness. Also, I'm hoping that any oglers opt to focus on my hot gams. "ZOINKS! That dame must be gestating QUINTS! But check those shapely stems..."

And my stems/ gams/leggies ARE looking mighty fine today- if I do say so myself. I love black tights. They let you flash some leg free from all worry about having pale, poultry-ish leg complexion and/or manstubble. Or so I've heard, I mean. MY legs are both perfectly smooth and nicely tanned at present...

Saturday, September 22, 2007

80s throwback

Saw this one on MTV during my Wed night insomnia bout and I thought.. "Wow, what a 80s new wavey throwback' I should clarify that--from me-- that's a compliment.

Friday, September 21, 2007

Autumnal Equinox Mix

Bought some tuneage off of Puretracks last weekend and burned me a mix of songs last night. So, technically it was 3days too early to be an Autumnal Equinox Mix, but that's a far better title than what I actually scrawled across the disc in Sharpie- "9/20/07 ChupaFraggle Mix"

It's an odd mix..and I didn't even work in all 26 tracks I downloaded. Some of 'em (5th Dimension "Wedding Bell Blues" for example) I just couldn't make fit. As it is, it's a very mixed mix... cheezy oldies, current guilty pleasure pop , guitar riffy rockers... it's just all over the place (as am I, so I suppose it's apropos)

I'm listening to it now...and can't really conjur up anything noteworthy to write about ...
...therefore you're going to get a full track listing...

1. You Can't Sit Down/ The Dovells [ The Dovells are exaggerating a bit here. I actually have remained seated while listening to this song. It is difficult...but not impossible ]

2.Everyday /Buddy Holly &the Crickets

3.Tin Man / America [I dig the lyrics, but they are a smidge befuddling. I mean-"But Oz never did give nothing to the Tin Man/that he didn't, didn't already have/ And cause never was the reason for the evening/ or the tropic of Sir Galahad" what the f*** is that all about? ]

4.She's Gone /Hall & Oates [this is used in Cherish so it always makes me think of that flick...]

5.New York Groove / Ace Frehley(KISS) [I attribute to this Ace Frehley with KISS credited parenthetically because this seems to me like such a departure from standard KISS fare. I don't think they would've conceived of this as a group. It took the brave solo endeavor of guitarist Ace Frehley to bring this gem about. Yeesh...a sentence like that makes me sound just like El Presidente of the Ace Frehley Fan Club or something...but honestly know jacksprat about the guy. But I love, LOVE, LOVE this song!]

6. Baby's on Fire / Velvet Goldmine Soundtrack [not sure I shoulda bought this one. I like it in Velvet Goldmine but without the visual of tasty Jonathan Rhys Meyers (as this glam-androgynous David Bowie type--but much foxier) singing The song on its own is actually kinda SCARY.]

7.My Doorbell /White Stripes [I didn't download this one actually; it's from the 1 White Stripes CD I own and it was on the computer from some mix I made a while back. I was listening to it while ordering the track list and thought to meself "This song is so flippin' terrific! Lemme jam it in here somewheres..." ]

8.Deuce / KISS [This song has some truly rad guitar in it. I don't have much use for its lyrics
...although... the word "deuce" makes me think of poo. So that's a funny little bonus there]

9.Paralyzer / Finger Eleven [I am quite smitten with this song these days. Such a switcheroo from Finger Eleven's 1st breakout hit "One Thing". That song was ok...a tad wuss-ified... and in no way did it hint at the possibility of FE having the capacity for such awesomeness! Oh, the other day my friend Heather opined about how much she loathes this song and I was rather outraged. And in other Heathers-with-foolish-opinions news, my other friend Heather (yes, I have two. Fancy that) opined the other day that "Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure" was a stupid movie. And she didn't mean stupid-good sort of stupid. She kind of said it was a waste-of-time piece of crapola and I very nearly bounded over the cubicle wall and attacked her for it]

10.In the Mood/Robert Plant [I WOULD be El Presidente of the Robert Plant Fan Club....if I had any ambition at all]

11.Girlfriend / Avril Lavigne [A real rah-rah cheer song to wake one up after the mellow rock out that is "In the Mood" It wasn't a good transition there really. But --I am sheepish to confess--I dig this song and I wanted to burn it onto CD]

12.Flathead / the Fratellis [from a past download..I thought it would fit in well after a real rah-rah cheer song. Possibly to redeem myself/ prove that I can juxtapose tracks properly...]

13. 20th Century Boy / Velvet Goldmine Soundtrack [This one is NOT scary on its own. ]

14. I Was Made For Lovin' You /KISS [me gusto mucho mucho***awesome possum*** I was made for loving this song. ..sorry, that was unforgiveably corny ]

15. Abracadabra /Steve Miller Band [I believe die hard SteveMillerites consider this his big "sell out" song but it is MY favorite thing he does]

16. Spill the Wine / WAR [this acid trip of a song was how I discovered the Songfacts site. I wanted to know precisely which hallucinogen made these lyrics possible- "This really blew my mind, the fact that me,an overfed, long-haired leaping gnomeshould be the star of a Hollywood movie!!" Blew your mind is RIGHT, fellah!]

17. Brandy / Looking Glass [aaahh the sad saga of Brandy. That silly, stupid wench Brandy. I'm tearing up ]

18. Seasons in the Sun / Terry Jacks [Read the lyrics!! This is tied with "Dust in the Wind" for the title of Saddest Fucking Song EVER!!]

19. Suddenly I See /KT Tunstall [I imagine this song is about YOURS TRULY being all illuminating, gorgeous, and all that good stuff. Is that vain?]

20. Private Eyes / Hall & Oates [the quick, well-placed hand claps just make this song]

21.Glamorous /Fergie [Guilty pleasure. It irks me though, to hear them sing "If you ain't got no money take your broke BROKE home" Come ON! I want 'em to sing "ass". Just sing "ASS" people! It's not even a bona fide swear anymore!! ]

22.Honey / Moby [I downloaded this aaaages ago and forgot to burn it to a CD. It kinda makes me wanna jump double Dutch which is something I would never do...that would be just--just a CALAMITOUS spectacle to behold]

Thursday, September 20, 2007


I learned today... I am much more "bright eyed & bushy tailed" at 7:30am when I have not gone to bed at all than I am waking up at 7:30am after a full night's sleep. Ahh well, that is a slight exaggeration. I did sleep some last night..but only about 4hrs. My chum Heather says that that’s all the slumber time she needs in a night….maybe I’m the same way and never realized. For years and years I’ve been getting an average of 7 hrs a night , so perhaps my body’s been storing the excess. And finally, last night, my body sez to me , “I reckon yer all tanked up on sleep, mate” (because sometimes my body talks with an Aussie accent, ok?)

It could be going to bed so damn early that discombobulated me. I had quite a nice night out with my friend Pam (& her friend Mary…who I suppose is now my friend once removed) but wasn’t out very late.. got home about 8:45pm and wasn’t really in the mood to watch telly or read…(Well, I was very briefly tempted to switch on the finale of Last Comic Standing, but after Laura kinda tipped me off that my boy Gerry Dee got eliminated, it just doesn't feel worthwhile any more) ..and I thought it was such a lovely evening, that I should end it on a high note and turn in early. Still, I browsed through magazines for about an hour, trying to scout out THE perfect hairstyle (I have a cut & color scheduled for tonight) I ended up actually “turning in” at 10 of 10—that, for me, is wicked early.

I fell asleep easily enough, but got up twice in the night to pee (odd…because it’s NOT as if I really tanked up—2 glasses of red wine and then an apr├Ęs din din Irish coffee but anywhoo..) and upon completing the second of those potty treks, the insomnia kicked in. Was lying in bed at 2:07 am and I could not sleep to save me life! I tried to force myself into slumber for about an hour and a half…no dice

This is what I did from 2:07 a.m. until 3:34am to try and combat my sleeplessness:
*Listened to opera
*Laid there lamenting about how UNGODLY BRIGHT the glow of my alarm clock is
*Picked a scab on my arm
*Admired how neat-o my silver nail polish looked in the glow of my alarm clock
*Some of my fave mind games --not like, manipulative, mess w/ other people’s heads type of mind games, I mean like mind games I use to occupy my mind when I try to fall asleep. This way I am less likely to start ruminating about my problems, y’see… I don't know if y'all ever do it, but take it from yours truly- thinking about one's problems is fucking depressing!
Anyways, as to the nature of these games… I first was casting the movie of the last book I read (“North and South”) which is something I always do— usually halfway through, sometimes immediately post- book. [TANGENT: Y’know there is actually a site for such a thing—Imagine Casting and what’s more, I actually created a free account on there and submitted a few casts for consideration. Lame , right? Second only to fan-fic in the pantheon of dorkiness. My casts aren’t on there, by the way, they remain “offline” until some fool site administrator deems them fit for public consumption. My casts have been under review for AAAAAGES. So-- cool (albeit dorky) idea, but I cannot really recommend the site.]

Another thing I do is try to link Actor A to Actor B in as few movies as possible -this is sort of an offshoot of the Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon game, except I wouldn’t do that (using Kevin Bacon)because that’s rather played out and I don’t like Kevin Bacon all that much anyways. So for instance, I might link Clive Owen (yes, please!) to Ewan McGregor (yum!) going thusly:

Clive Owen was in Closer along with….
Natalie Portman
who was in some Star Wars prequel (I can’t be bothered to remember
their proper names, ‘kay?) with Ewan McGregor

Two movies-- that was an easy one.

And neither of these mind games succeeded in lulling me off to Snoozetown. So then I sort of did this Scattergories type thing in my head where I went through the alphabet and had to come up with some type of animal for each letter. Antelope, Badger, Capybara, Dingo,Elephant, etc. etc.& so on. Which sounds pretty basic, but I got stuck on the letter “N” believe it or not!! First I thought "nightengale" but rejected it, because I came up with that by thinking back to the inside covers of those Sweet Pickles books (and that felt like cheating) and then I was thinking of Norwegian Elkhound, but thought that was rather "splitting hairs" and thought I could do better. But I was really, truly stumped! On "N"!! So at this juncture the game started to aggravate me and said aggravation aggravated my existing insomnia. Great, huh??

*Thought about what I would do to fill in the time gap between my 6pm ETA in Windsor and my 6:45pm hair appointment

*took out my opera CD...nearly changed it to the Mary Poppins soundtrack (changed my mind on account of that being too upbeat for inducing slumber) nearly changed it to the Sound of Music soundtrack (but I could only locate disc 2 of a 2 disc set, y'see, and "Lonely Goatherd" was on disc 1 and I thought the omission of "Goatherd" would be too much of a bummer) and finally decided to switch to some spoken word CD rather than another music CD. So I put in Monty Python's Previous Record (yep, that's the name of it) which was mostly quite funny, which was probably a bad pick because I stayed up and listened to the whole thing. Especially amusing --after having dined out with this real wine afficianado type (Mary, not Pam)-- was listening to their Australian Table Wines bit. Love that...

So, at like 3:33 a.m. I finally gave in, resigned myself to NOT sleeping. I decided I would watch TV until it was time to prep for work.

First I watched Harold & Kumar Go To White Castle . I really dug it... though I suspect I would have enjoyed the profanity filled version more. Damn censors. Like anyone watching TBS at 3:30 in the morning is young & impressionable and /or needs to be guarded from cuss words. Whatev. I may have to buy that movie. Is it weird that I think both Harold & Kumar are cute? Harold especially. Lisa & I have this running gag that we are going to do some sort of White Castle pilgrimage of our own--see we were chatting one day about Sliders-- a phenom I have never experienced firsthand, sadly, I had just seen something on 'em on the Food Network the evening prior to said chat. Anyways , we both musta been hungry at the time because we were both practically salivating over how good they sounded (let the record show--we were NOT stoned!!) Well, watching the end of Harold & Kumar only exacerbated my hankerin' for Sliders...previously, I was only half-kidding about the whole Sandra & Lisa Go to White Castle I'm only 1/4 kidding.

During commercials I flipped to AMC, which was playing West Side Story. I'd never seen it before, and was curious. I couldn't really get into it ...Harold & Kumar had won my heart first and I had to be prompt about flipping back to them (I was ) plus something about Natalie Wood doing a Puerto Rican accent irked the bejesus outta me. It's odd.. me, not being into West Side Story. I am usually such a musical junkie!!

And then after the movie, they were playing the oddest thang on Mtv & Vh1....videos!! I watched a whole slew of videos!! Here's the one for Maroon 5's latest (Wake-up Call) that I watched 3 times.

After 3 viewings, I still can't tell if that's Jeremy Sisto that gets shot or some no-name actor (not that Jeremy Sisto is any BIG name..) But that's unimportant. What I really came away from this video with was a keen desire to see Adam Levine starring in an action movie. And I don't even like action movies. Dude is HOT. Despite that scrawniness about him, the narrow head and mildly odd coiffure, I find him rather appealing. Oh yeah ..I dig the song too.

Also I saw a video for the first single off 50Cent's latest and the new Kanye. And thus far, I find myself on Team Fiddy, surprisingly. I would not have predicted that. I've always liked Kanye. Even with his sour grapey cry babyness about the VMAs, I still like him. But Fiddy's song had Justin Timberlake AND Timbaland. Kryptonite, baby! Great song and JT was in fiiiine form in the video! Although, oddly, his own video, for "Love Stoned" was way was much like listening to a song and watching the visualizations on Windows Media. Let's just say I was underwelmed. But back to the big Kanye vs. 50 debate...I want to just reiterate that I do like Mr West...more than anything I appreciate his recent valiant efforts to singlehandedly bring the Venetian blind shade back into fashion...

I've seen K-West sportin' these around town, and even in his "Stronger" video...and every time I see it, it is like a winking homage to my 1985 Halloween costume where I was aiming to be this way trippendicular Cyndi Lauper type and I wore 3 or 4 plastic charm necklaces, crimped hair, and a red pair of these shades. Kanye is giving me a shout out and he doesn't even know it!! (although he knows now...if he reads my blog)
And I saw this unmemorable Rhianna video, and I just remember thinking,"Oh, she IS rather adorable. I hope she is dating Shia LeBouef" And then I saw Ashley Tisdale (not last night on the telly...actually just a minute or so ago in my 'net meanderings) and she made me think "Oy does that broad grate on my nerves. She ought not smile that ubiquitous Ashley Tisdale makes her look like an utter twit." Also there was this Rooney video for "When Did Your Heart Go Missing" (good song, bland video) and a most impressive "An End has a Start" by Editors.
Sorry to prattle on about all that, but it was quite a treat to catch a glimpse of that majestic and elusive beast that is the music video.
Oh and there was this commercial that kept consistently cracking my shit up. It's a Comcast commercial with a huge talking tree frog. I fully intended to embed that here or at least link you but the ad was inexplicably absent from YouTube.
So TV starts sucking, I discovered, around 6:30 a.m....lots of Gunthy-Renker infomercial rubbish and news. Bleccch and NO THANKS. So about quarter of 7 I started to get ready for work...I had time for a shower, but I deliberately did not wash my hair (nope, not when it was going to drink up that high-qual SAlon shampoo when I went in for my cut) I went to Denny's and had a nice big breakfast and started to read I, Claudius. The Meat Lover's Breakfast was a great consolation after my insomnia ordeal--an array of breakfast meats (bacon, sausage & super yummy grilled ham slab) two eggs (done over easy) hash browns and instead of the standard buttermilk pancakes (call me loco, but I am NOT a pancake fan) I subbed an English muffin. And copius quantities of coffee, OF COURSE. MMMmmm--mmm! Tomorrow a.m. I shall go back to Kashi, but DAMN was that good!!
This amused me (natch, poop joke= comedy GOLD) ... and I haven't posted one o' these in a long while. Hope the fickle-bitch Blogger gods allow my pic to expand ...I really have no idea how to control that. Drat.

Be Kind, Rewind

I am not sure when this flick's getting released, but me really wants to see it...

Wednesday, September 19, 2007

Hero hook up??

NOBODY is as excited as I am for the Sept 24 season premier of Heroes. You may think you're just as excited, but you are quite mistaken. If you have read the blog semi-regularly (and I am certain I have a loyal readership of approximately 2) you likely have surmised how ga-ga for Heroes I am. It's almost my most blogged about show...second only to Project Runway.

This news item perturbs me though. I do love me that Sweet Pete Petrelli, and yeah, if I was Ms Hayden I'd hit that (like, for sure! aw, hells yeeeah) but on his part...eww. I ought to interject here that this is UNSUBSTANTIATED RUMOR (it was shoddy of me to call it a "news item" , really) . But if this be true... ohhh Mr Ventimiglia, how skeezy of you!! She juuust barely hit 18 in August and he is 30! Is it Puritanical of me to find that icky?

Milo and ME, on the other hand, a fine, age-appropriate match up. I certainly would have no objections...

my grown up lady purse

I am very fickle about purses. At times, I don't even want the hassle of lugging a purse around. At these times, I very mannishly jam my wallet into my arse pocket and go on my merry way. But most of the time, I have too many necessary accoutrements (hair clippie, mints, compact,etc..) to be able to forego a purse. And I tire of purses quickly. I want to change them out all the time. So I'd been using this black canvas tote (emblazoned w/ AC/DC logo) since the start of August. Quite a while, si? Well, because it was big with no organizational pocket system (making it absolutely impossible to find anything within in less than a minute) and because I got a mustard stain on it on Labor Day and because I was just plain getting sick of it.... I bought a new purse on Monday night.

I have been calling it "my grown-up lady purse" and I am quite enamored** with it. I was trying to find a pic of it on the Kmart website (YES, I bought the thing @ Big K...don't you sneer at me) but it's not on there. Maybe I have a West Lebanon store exclusive, who the hell knows... Anyways, it is a doctor's satchel style bag...the top is dark brown leatherstuff with muted gold accents..the pouchy part of the bag is off-white and cable knit. I have just become increasingly smitten with the thing... it's rather sophisticated and has this real autumnal** feel to it. I have been embracing fall fashion as of I'm sporting jeans, my fave brown boots, maroon v-neck long sleeve shirt under an olive corduroy blazer, with a plaid wool scarf. The whole ensemble strikes me as pretty autumnal anyways. And of course I am carrying my grown up lady purse. This indirectly led to me TOTALLY insulting my boss this morning.

Allow me to elaborate...

I was blathering this a.m. about how much I adore my grown-up lady purse, and Robin joked " Is that the one you tuck under your arm and it makes you look like Sophia Petrillo??" and I laughed and said "PICTURE IT... Sicily 1932..." in a very funny voice that didn't sound anything like Estelle Getty. And there was much chortling. And then (as I was mixing up my a.m. coffee) I thought to say "Did you know that Betty White was married for many years to the dude who hosted 'Super Password'??" Dialogue proceeded like so ...

ROBIN: Yes! I did know that! Alan somebody...

ME: Alan Ludden



ROBIN: Betty White. Married to Alan Ludden. Who hosted 'Super Password'

HEATHER: I've never heard of 'Super Password' I don't know who Betty White is either..

ME: Yes you do!!! If I'd said Rose from the Golden Girls you woulda known right off

HEATHER: OOoooh...

ROBIN: And now she does those Pet Meds commercials. She's like 100 years old

ME: Heey! She does alright for her age! She's very spry...for an old broad. I should like to be an old broad like that when I am an old broad!!

MAGGIE/BOSSLADY (with her shoddy hearing, just picking up that last scrap of conversation): WHO are you talking about??


Yeeeeah, sometimes my quick wit is too quick for my liking. Everybody was laughing--Mags included--- but I felt perhaps I crossed the line and my face got about as maroon as my shirt and then I made another pot of coffee. Mostly because I'd used up the last of the coffee but also kind of as a means to make amends.

Even more beloved than my grown-up lady purse is this scarf o' mine. I picked it up at this Celtic shop in Ottawa last is the Matheson (that's my mum' maiden name) family tartan. Or I should specify-- it is the formal clan tartan. My sister bought a scarf at that same shop, one in our clan's hunting tartan.. Visual aides to follow, I'm sure you will agree with me that MY tartan is far more attractive...

Well agree with me or no, this scarf IS the shiz-nit, and Sept-March I am liable to don it anytime I wear an outfit that is even remotely matchy. Today though, my passion for fall fashion proved a skoach ill-advised as it's in the high 70s out there. I could take off the jacket but, really, this shirt does NOT look so hot on its own (it rather highlights my back bacon if ya know what I mean).
** autumnal & enamored are on this weird list of impressive vocab words that we are compiling in our crazy-ass office. It's a new thing... so far it's just : autumnal, enamored, & mercurial

Monday, September 17, 2007

Things about today...

Ok the BIG action in cubicleville today was our First Aid episode. We are making light of it this afternoon, but it was pretty scary as it was transpiring. I was sitting in my cubicle and I hear someone making this wheezy backed up pool filter noise. And I, tremendously helpful gal that I am, bellowed "What the HELL is that noise??" But shortly afterward I heard a small stampede trampling past and I get up to see what all the hubbub's about.

So I step into the doorway of Lisa's office and find Heather & Robin there, Robin about to commence with the Heimlich on a red faced, bulgey-eyed Lisa. And I say (continuing along in this tremendously helpful vein) "SHIT--Are you okay??" Well she was not okay, as it happens, she was choking. I don't know what she coulda been choking on--she wasn't eating anything, but drinking (Crystal Light, I think) But I have no doubt she WAS choking. It was quite frightening. Robin's Heimlich turned out to be pretty ineffectual, so Heather stepped in and she got it done. I am glad that Heather succeeded, well obviously, since I didn't want Lisa to DIE, but yours truly was on deck to have a go at it and I'm sure I would have utterly botched it. I mean, FAILURE sucks enough in general, but to fail at such a crucial effort...oy vey!

I'd really like to think I'm made of heroic stuff, good in a crisis and all that, but I don't know... If this episode is any indication (which really was a quasi-crisis; caught before it could hit full-on crisis status) than I got a LOT o' room for improvement on that front. I resolve to add it to my "Soul Renovations" checklist....

Less dramatic fact about today-- I pecked at a peculiar lunch of pistachios & gorgonzola cheese. It was delish. I believe it was mi amiga Heather set me off on a gorgonzola kick the other night. And I hadn't had pistachios in a long time...I had forgotten how much I adore them. More specifically, I got Everybody's Nuts pistachios (see pic below) and next time YOU make a pistachio purchase, you ought to buy the very same brand, because they are fan-fucking-tastic.

I stole this pic from their website. Mayhap I will email them and gush so profusely about how much I adore their Salt & Pepper 'stachios that they will have no choice but to send me some freebies.

I was raving aloud about them and that moved Robin to ask if I liked pistachio ice cream. To which I confessed that I have never had it. She thinks that I would like it, but I believe that I would not. I don't see how it naturally follows that just because I adore pistachios that I would adore pistachio ice cream. Some things are delicious just being what they are and when their flavor is grafted on to a whole other food the result is less than delicious... YUCKY , even. I like spaghetti and meatballs... would I then automatically like spaghetti & meatball cookies?? I think NOT! Ok, well a better example of this principle-- tasty buttered popcorn. Now, I quite enjoy tasty buttered popcorn (not so much if it be microwave popcorn) particularly when I take in a movie. But... buttered popcorn flavored jellybeans?? AN ABOMINATION!! Bleccch!

However, I would try pistachio ice cream (in accordance with my "don't-knock-it-'til-you-try-it" policy) but I can't see myself buying a whole pint just to try it. Because I think that I will NOT like it and then I will have wasted $3.99 or so. And thrown out ice cream which is even more criminal. But at the next ice cream shop I patronize that offers sample bites--if they have 'stachio flavor-- I will ask for a taste of it. But that may not be for a while, as I tend to patronize ice cream shops in the summer months.

Yeeeees, summer is OVER. I'm not crazy about this...but I am coming to terms with it. I am trying to find the positive aspects of this. I can slack off a bit on the leg shaving...that's a good thing. It's getting to be hooded sweatshirt weather (I am wearing one today actually) and though many a fashionista would condemn this assertion, I DO believe the hoodie maybe the world's most perfect garment.

Mystery Carcass---EPILOGUE

I stayed over @ my parents' casa on Friday night. I wish to point out that this was NOT for fear of mystery carcass, I was working on a painting project there, it ran late, and I crashed. After a busy Saturday, I was driving back to my house at 1:30am, mulling over the carcass removal issue. I decided that NOW was the time and I was going to dispose of it (vs. using the inside stairs again) and I WOULD. Although, at 1:30am I wasn't about to root around for my landord's roof hoe thingy. So I decided that the next best thing would be to use my the squeegie/ice scraper/brush implement from my car-- that telescopes to about 3 feet. Except if I got guts on my ice scraper, I may never use it the very least I would NOT relish cleaning the thing off. So I came up with the clever scheme of tying a plastic shopping bag around the head of the tool thereby sheilding it from all grodiness. Quite pleased with my own problem-solving acumen, I pulled into my parking space and looked up through the stairs. . .at nothing. The thing was GONE. There were no drag marks or entrail scraps stuck in the wood. A very mysterious end to the ordeal!!

Here's what could have happened--
SCENARIO A-- Some hoggy animal came by and gobbled it up. That possibility is cool w/ me, but I don't think that's what happened. If that had been the case, I feel certain there would be bits left. You mean to tell me that some critter ate all the fur, ate the nose of this unfortunate fellow critter? It did rain on Saturday, but not enought to wash a whole hide offa your stairs. I mean, that stair was utterly clear, like nothing had been there,
which brings me to. . . ..
SCENARIO B--I am losing my mind.
That stair was so totally clean that I really suspect this to be the case. Uggh... if I am hallucinating dead animals on the stairs, then, I think that means I am acquiring a very dark, negative brand of loco, and not becoming whimsically eccentric. Like Emperor Josh Norton that I read about this a.m. (Sept 17, you see is the 148th anniversary of his ascension to emperorship) now his kinda crazy might not be so bad...especially if everyone adores you for it and lets you spend phony homemade money all over town. Sweet!
SCENARIO C-- My landlord spied the carcass and took it upon himself to remove it. This is almost okay with me (better than the notion of my going insane). Although I don't like being "beholden" to my landlords. Y'know I live in the same building as them, but I really don't see them all that often and that's the way I like it. If my landlord starts doing me extra courtesies, then I'M gonna feel compelled to make an effort to be kindly toward them, maybe start paying my rent in person and enduring that horrid 5 minutes of obligatory small talk (uggh).
Scenario D-- That WAS the landlord's cat... I still am pleased that I didn't have to clean up carcass-mess.. HOWEVER, I am slightly bothered by the thought that my neighbor may think I spotted their dead cat on my steps and didn't see the need to mention it to anybody, just stepped around the furry heap and went on my merrily callous way. That is NOT how it happened, and it vexes me a bit that there could be that misconception out there about yours truly. I may be antisocial, but I'm not callous. I am faux callous sometimes but my heart's not in it.

Well, I will probably never know what happened (that would require talking to the landlord(s)). But the overall lesson here is- ignore a problem and it WILL go away.

here be some pictures of Emperor Norton currency. I did not guess it to be so fancy-schmancy and official looking. Expecting the 19th ce equivalent of crayon on construction paper I guess. . .

Friday, September 14, 2007

Friday Morning Dry-heaves, Chupacabras, & Didgeridoos

Lawdy, this oughtta be quite a post! Rather ambitious subject line, that...

But hey... why don't we start off with my being 4 minutes late to work this morning and why that was. I stepped out my door at the usual time (8:15 ish) and crossed the deck , started down the stairs. I halted my descent when I suddenly spied. . . (gasp!) A DEAD BISHOP ON THE LANDING !! Ha, ha,ha, ha…no (click here if you were not sufficiently nerdy to get that one) it WAS a dead something-er-other, but on the second to last stair before the landing. I let loose with a loud exclamation--it was not a cuss-- more like “Uhhh-AAHHH!” or “UUUGH!” or something of that nature. Note below, where I’ve drawn up a handy Microsoft Paint layout of my abode and surrounding premises with an X marking the spot of the mystery carcass.

I don’t know what the thing was. It was grey and white. It looked like a stillborn kitten except it was not , because it was pretty large, taking up most of the step. I just thought it looked like that because it was curled up all fetal-like, it’s hair was kinda slicked back, and it didn’t appear to be too mangled. Of course I didn’t get down all close to it and work my mad CSI skillz on it, that’s for sure. Probably then I coulda reported to you what the f*** it was. This is what I did do… I thought “I don’t have time to dispose of this uhhh..UGH.. whatever… I gotta get to work. I will just rush down , try not to look, hop over that step and get to my car.” Well, in retrospect, I don’t think I’m actually coordinated enough to execute such a move …although we’ll never know because I was unable to take another step. I turned around and went back inside. I thought to throw a paper towel over it, but I don’t have any just now. I quickly snatched up a Walmart bag. There was some crap in it-- receipt, tags-- that I dumped out and intended to drape that over the corpse in lieu of paper towelage. I said to meself “Ah, well, surely it won’t be so bad this time around. I know it’s down there, thus eliminating the element of surprise” Still, I started down with the bag in front of my face,positioned so that it might obscure my view of the grody thing. But I could see through the bag and as I went down the stairs I started to GAG. I spun back around, went inside again and took the inside stairs down to the foyer, into the garage, out the front and around the side of the house to my car.
So that is why I was 4 minutes late for work. The thing is still there, I presume (my Dad guessed it might be a possum, and I guess it might be, though the office brain trust came up with another likely possibility) As nauseated as I am by the carcass, I don’t want to recruit somebody to dispose of it for me. I hate the notion of being such a helpless wuss. Ideally something will come and eat it up before I get home. Or some of its own kind will carry it off into the forest to give it a proper burial. But if it’s there when I return, I will dispose of it.. I’ll wait until nightfall (or dusk at least) because I don’t want to stare at that thing in the bright light of day again. And I’m thinking the perfect implement would be one of those long snow rakes, the ones you clear snow off your roof with, so that I can do the job from 10 or 15 ft away.

We hypothesized at work that the office chupacabra killed one of my landlords’ cats. My landlord does have cats. One is black, and I know they have more than one, though I am unsure of the exact number. They might have a gray & white cat. The mystery carcass was about cat-sized. Also, Robin and I have long talked about the chupacabra that is hiding away somewheres in our office, skulking around after hours when no ones about, making mischief , perpetrating various misdeeds and what not ( which is more the M.O. of like a sprite or a brownie than a chupacabra, but we just substituted a chupacabra because, well, they’re just innately funny, ain’t they??) Anyways the theory grew that the chupacabra was sick and tired of hearing me slander him all the time, and grew to really have it in for me. Well somehow, he found out where I live--perhaps I left a piece of mail lying around ( a not implausible situation, as mine is not the tidiest of cubicles) And he went to mi casa last night and killed what he thought was my cat. And left it on my steps as like, y’know some sort of symbol of vendetta or something. Note also the unmangled state of this victim --consistent with the condition of virtually all chupacabra prey.
One might presume that I dislike this theory. Certainly the notion that I am being stalked and menaced by a rogue chupacabra does not cheer me. However, if this is the case, my landlords will probably clean up my steps without my needing to ask for it (y’know with them wanting to bury their dead cat and all..). So yeah, in that regard this wouldn't be a bad scenario.

We truly do have a running gag in the office about chupacabras. Which is why I took special notice of this news story of a week or so ago, and I M ed Robin a link to it at once. Now clearly this is no chupacabra. Being the expert amateur chupacabra affiniciados that we are, we determined that right away. Heather said it looked like a dingo …I agree…like a dingo that was shaved, then died of consumption, and then rotted for a spell. But it couldn’t be 100% determined what the critter was…it sure was nasty…and this crazy TX bitch thought it was a chupacabra. And THAT is what really amazed me in this story---this nut job lady. She finds, on her ranch, an odd carcass of indeterminate species, that she comes to believe is a chupacabra . So, the normal course of action here is to ..STASH IT IN YOUR FREEZER. Huh?? And at some point afterwards, she beheads the bastard!! She is photographed holding the noggin in what I sure as hell hope is her ranch laboratory sink, because if she’s put that severed head in her kitchen sink then…Ewww EW!! I don’t care how stainless my stainless steel was, I would never do dishes in that f-er again!!

Speaking of dingos (flimsy segue in progress here...forgive me) someone in casa de landlords plays the mo-fo DIDGERIDOO!! Yes on two separate occasions I have been coming up the back stairs and heard, through an open window, someone within the big house playing the didgeridoo. Now I didn't learn the didgeridoo whilest living amongst the Aborigines (primarily because that didn't really happen). We actually had the didgeridoo come up in casual office banter one day and then that sparked a lot of questions--what exactly does the didgeridoo sound like? how does one play it? how is it spelled precisely? And the crew used their marvelous net research talents and we were able to scrounge up some online audio of said instrument, and a little write up (probably courtesy of Wikipedia) on it. So yes I do know for a fact that it WAS a didgeridoo I heard. Twice! Not sure who was playing it, but I'm guessing it's the same one that I often hear playing the recorder. Yeah, one of 'em plays the recorder a lot which I thought was a bit lame and 3rd grade-ish. But the didgeridoo...that's downright BIZARRO. Don't get me wrong, I AM a music lover. And I wish I could capably play some sort of instrument---not the didgeridoo. Here is a list of top 5 instruments I wish I were skilled at (#1 being the most coveted, counted backwards for purposes of maximum suspense)

5. Banjo

4. Drums

3. Guitar


1. Piano

Speaking of music (I can't quit the lame segues -I'M SORRY!) I found this neat-o site called Songfacts that has a decent sized directory of tunes and for every song it gives lyrics, and then some facts about the song (usually something about what inspired it or what the lyrics really mean, somethin' like that) and then there's message boards. It's a user -maintained site, so it's got credibility akin to that of Wikipedia, but I'm sure not all the "facts" on there are bogus. I looked up "Say it Ain't So" which is probably my favorite Weezer song (I do love me some Weezer) and the explanation made sense enough to me. "This bottle of Steven's awakens ancient feelings" Always thought that was such a cryptic line, but I am puzzled no longer...

Thursday, September 13, 2007

who knew??

...that Colin Farrell was such an awesome guy?? I am immensely impressed! I feel, like, compelled to join his fan club or something. Well, ultimately , I WON'T , however I am now decreeing a ban against any further criticism of Colin (by me) no matter how greasy and repellent his hair looks or how stupid his movies are. Ok, that was a bit of a jab, that last bit there, but ONLY for the purposes of purging all anti-Colin Farrell sentiment out of my system. Because I'm never ever going to say anything bad about him again. Starting. . . . NOW!

Wednesday, September 12, 2007

Sandra, Plain and of Average Height

I watched Sarah Plain & Tall for like the hundredth time last night. OK, I'm exaggerating , but only a smidge. I really have watched the hell out of that movie, I could probably lip synch to it. Yep, I own it...and the 2 Sarah Plain & Tall sequels. I know that renders me fairly unrivalled in severe dorkishness, but I make no apologies. I am sorry though, that laundry and make-dinner-for-the-folks night is going to prevent me from watching Skylark (airing tonight at 9 on the Hallmark channel) Waaaaaah. I'm sure I'll be missing "Last Comic Standing" also, but I know my sister DVRs that.

I enjoy the whole Sara-Jacob romance that's at the core of this trilogy and I do find it believable...despite the fact that Glenn Close has always generally seemed to give off a lesbianish vibe. That's just my perception, and, I concede, a totally unfounded one. In reality, she is on her 3rd husband (& even procreated with one of 'em). So... am not even sure why I think that. And I don't know why Meryl Streep makes me think of Glenn Close and vise versa. Hmmmm.. maybe it's that I've seen her (Glenn) in not very many dresses and a wide array of pant suits...that might account for the Sapphic vibe (but obviously not the Meryl Streep thing).

I wasn't just being sappy in my viewing habits last night, I also indulged in a bit o' cheese. Prior to watching Sarah.. I watched Drive Me Crazy. I so dig that movie. Melissa Joan Hart is totally likable, but she's an awfully plain looking chick and it's downright inspiring to watch her snag a choice specimen like Adrian Grenier. Also I like the dude who played Ray in that movie...whoever he is. I wonder if he still acts?? Surely a quick trip over to IMDB could tell me but.. I just prefer to wonder.

Tuesday, September 11, 2007

more movie jibba-jabba

Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull... whewww! What a mouthful.

And, here we have an onset publicity photo, scrounged up on Yahoo!

There's been a lot of press on how fit and foxy Harrison Ford is and how capably he's donning the ol' whip & fedora...but I say...Indy-schmindy, how great is Karen Allen looking?? She's somewhat of an old broad, y'know, and looking better than she did in the 80s (albeit NOT in a scary-new-plastic-head-a la Kenny Rogers kind of way). On the other hand, I am NOT admiring Shia LeBeouf's icky upper lip catepillar!! Ewww. It does NOT make him look like any offspring of Indiana Jones. Nope, he's lookin' more like son-of-Schneider-from-"One Day at a Time" here.

Hey, I'm only tough on Shi-guy because I like him. Last night I finally got around to watching my newly purchased "A Guide to Recognizing Your Saints" and I was MUCHO impressed with Shia's acting. It's hard to reconcile in my mind the fact that this promising young actor is the very same dude I used to watch (only sporadically, mind you) in Even Stevens (but like, I said, that was sporadically...really VERY seldomly. HONEST!)

I liked "A Guide to Recognizing Your Saints" but the music in the flick kinda baffled me... The bulk of the action takes place in 1986 (with brief forays into the present) but the music was all from the 70s. It didn't REALLY bother me... I'm sure Dito Montiel had a good reason for picking what tunes he did. Maybe it's just honestly what he & his crew listened to. Just seemed a smidgeon incongruous, is all .
The one song in the movie that I really liked (and that seemed to have the right tone) was "New York Groove" which played during the end credits and when you were in the DVD menu. I was closely inspecting the credits so that I might discover who sings it. And then when I read it, I had to back up the DVD and let it scroll up the screen again, unsure that I really read what I thought I read: "performed by KISS" . Wha?? I like KISS alright, but that really surprised me. First off, I didn't think it was an old song...I had somehow got it into my head that it was a new song, possibly written for the movie/soundtrack. And it didn't have that KISS sound ...didn't rock as hard as they usually do or something. Sounded a bit like The Scissor Sisters or some group like that. Well, I did a bit o' research on it today and it is not quite a KISS song (it's a KISS bastard) Originally Ace Frehley did it on his 1978 solo outing and when KISS took Ace back into the fold, they absorbed "NY Groove" into their repertoire. Anyways... that's another KISS song on my "to download" queue (along with "Beth" & "I Was Made For Lovin' You")

Monday, September 10, 2007

foul rumors

I was checking Worst Previews for upcoming movie news (as is my custom) when I came upon this casting atrocity possibly in the offing--

(link to story HERE as my pic doesn't seem to wanna enlarge)
They cannot do this. I FORBID IT!! I ADORE Magnum P.I. There is no other hirsute, short shorts-sportin' P.I. that compares. The movie Valley Girl was this total anomaly, because in that, Nicolas Cage was likeable...and CUTE, even. But, I've really not cared for him in anything else I've seen him in . And these days I've not seen anything he's been in because the guy just kinda irks and repels me. And not to be petty, but he's got one of the worst smiles in Hollywood...most people look good in a smile, but his just amplifies everything that's aesthetically whack about him. Dude is all bug eyes and horsey teeth and receding hairline. Ok, I take back that "not to be petty". That was petty and you can't just negate the pettiness of a sentiment by prefacing with "Not to be petty.." It doesn't work. It's similar to these morons that start sentences with "No offense but.." (you know.. something like "No offense but your hair looks like total shit today" to which one ought to answer somethin' like "Ah, well, your disclaimer was quite ineffectual as I AM fucking offended, you twit...GAWD, I hate you.")
Well anyways. . . the abridged version goes like so-- I NO LIKEY Nic Cage (what kind of nutjob names his kid Kal-El??) and I vehemently oppose him being cast as Magnum P.I. (who is terrif)

The article also mentions Ricky Gervais passing on the role of Higgins. (Opposite CLOONEY as Magnum?? I find that rather far fetched. Yeah, I could see him exuding the correct Magnum swagger, but he is WAY too A list for such a project) Gervais , I think woulda been a perfect Higgins. But I guess I understand his reluctance...the dude is really a comedian, not an actor actor. He is not willing to deform his coiffure so hideously as it would require to fully embody the Higgins role. A true thespian would --take multiple Oscar winner like Tom Hanks, for example, y'all saw what grody hair he consented to for The Da Vinci Code ,yes?

Friday, September 07, 2007

toothbrush adventures

I gave myself the mission this morning of redesigning my desktop. I got it in my head that I wanted a late 60s Peter Max /yellow submarine vibe, and after a while of digging about on flickr, I came upon this collection, which is totally magnificent and also just what I was looking for.

I picked the below pic for my desktop....

Robin and I were trying to make out just what the backstory is here. What we decided is that....Li'l Miss Bluepuff is floating along on this curious shelf while her pal Mr Toothbrush is regaling her with his tumultuous, epic life story. He won some sort of toothbrushing championship (top right) and went on to represent the U.S.A. at the toothbrush Olympics (top left) Resulting success and acclaim (top center) led to him succumbing to some bad habits, as many stars do (see middle, left ) Now, I am not certain what Toothbrushdude is smoking here---peyote?? Swisher Sweets??--- but the fact that it's curling his hair and has TURNED HIM GREEN is a fair indication that he should cease & desist. And he does kick the junk and professionally reinvents himself as a singer (bottom left ) but after a couple platinum albums he grew wary of the pitfalls of fame and extricated himself from the public eye. He moved to Columbia (the S American country, not the university) and began ranching,(bottom right) eventually becoming the world's second largest supplier of giant toothpaste radishes.

The pic is actually taken from a book called "The Teletrips of Alala"written by Guy Monreal and illustrations by Nicole Claveloux (said book is now on my Amazon wish list). So after stumbling onto the amazing work of Claveloux that led me to this book publisher Harlin Quist who, in the late 60s thru the 70s put out all these really avante garde and artsy kids books with real quality illustrations (Claveloux was one of his principal illustrators). And now I want to buy them ALL. Well, most of 'em. I love a well illustrated children's book. I am a little obsessive about buying them too, but I always give them to my nieces& neph so that I look not quite so odd.

I was going to search the stacks at Encore books (my neighborhood go-to used bookstore) for any Harlin Quist offerings during my lunch hour, but I made the mistake of revealing that I was going to grab my lunch at Wendy's (next to Encore) and in 2 shakes of a lamb's tail I had in my possession a post-it with 3 coworkers' lunch orders. I don't want to infer that any of 'em are ingrates, they were all quite appreciative and said their pleases & thank-yous at the right junctures, but I was internally perturbed because it stopped me from popping into Encore. I mean, I was right nearby, and I could have stopped there (no one forbade me) but I was consumed with the thought of 3 people back in the office awaiting their lunchies and I knew that would prevent me from browsing as leisurely as I am accustomed to doing. I did run a bank errand prior to hitting the Wendy's drive thru, but have postponed Encore until after work.

Speaking of Wendy's...remember how I was griping about their restructuring their drive thru in a really asinine fashion?? Well they split a traditional 1 line drive thru into 3 lanes with three ordering speakers that merge into 1 queue to pay & pick up. Well I KNEW it just wasn't going to work and sure enough, when I went today, I saw they'd closed it down. My boss was saying how some of the Wendy-folk that you reached via those speakers were in MARYLAND! Oddness. Some Wendy's HQ in MD took your order and IMed or emailed it to the crew at the Wendy's you were at. Come ooooon. Sometimes, simpler IS better!!

Oh, and in defense of Claveloux, not ALL of her illustrations were so loopily far out. Take the lovely example below definitely shows a 60s pop influence but is not so drug induced looking

Wednesday, September 05, 2007


Yesterday, mi amiga Kara posted some film criticism. See said post below or go here.

Anyways I had to post a comment because it amused me that she brought up "The Lake House" when I was just chatting about that movie with a friend. So I began to type up my comment but then succumbed to a tangent (as I am apt to do) and as the comment grew and grew I thought " Shit, if I'm doing all this typing on Blogger anyways I may as well post a long overdue post" I've been a baaaad & negligent blogger. Had been meaning to do a recap of my vaca, and started to , but I got bored with that (probably because I've been verbally yammering on about it so much) and abandoned that post. But when & if I ever get my photos off my cam, I'll post 'em here--I promise. Anyways... decided to scrap my comment and recycle it into a post. A recycled comment post is not a brand spanky new post, but it's better than NOTHING.

So... my rebuttal to Kara's post (and quasi-related ramblings...)---

It's funny that you bring up "The Lake House", since just last night I gave meself an honest-to-goodness MIGRAINE trying to explain that chronological clusterfuck of a movie to Heather. I pretty much got the thing (yes "got" = bought...the context of last night's discussion was how H & I both have developed the wickedly frivolous habit of going into Hollywood Vid and always buying instead of renting) because Robin was telling me about it and I felt I just had to see it for myself in order to comprehend the premise. So I watched it, and it more or less made sense at the time, but then last night Heather was quizzing me on the logistics of the plot and I totally botched the telling of it... could NOT explain it at all whatsoever. The gist of what I told her was "AAAARRGH!" (whilest clutching noggin at the temples) Time travel movies always make me intellectually dizzy. All of them. Even "Back to the Future" (but don't get me wrong...I ADORE B2tF...the original, anyway ...the George-free sequels didn't do it for me)

I'm with you on V for Vendetta...very good movie. I have never sat thru all of "Less Than Zero" and that's on account of my HUGE anti-Andrew McCarthy prejudice. The issue is not that his surname reminds me of that blacklisting bastard Sen. Joe McCarthy (I got over that) but rather that he very whinily wrecked Ally Sheedy & Judd Nelson's relationship (St Elmo's Fire) and then proceeded to steal Andie away from the waaay more deserving Duckie, and THEN he fell in love with a slutty Kim Cattrall mannequin. And that last transgression was the worst of all, dude. "Mannequin" is just a horrid , cringe-inducing movie that I've always found to be totally unbearable. You have this film centered on this tremendous loser fetishist protagonist, and then (craptastic bonus!!) you get Meshach Taylor, flaming almost as brightly as he did on Designing Women. UUUGH. But "Less Than Zero" does have Robert Downey Jr going for it...I do like him. (loved him in "Kiss Kiss Bang Bang"--which is a TERRIF movie) And I've just purchased "A Guide to Recognizing Your Saints", which I primarily bought for a Channing Tatum fix (yyyyummy) but RD Jr is in there too.

Oh and last night I watched "The Island". I'm not one for action flicks but I had a hankerin' to watch something with Ewan McGregor in it. I watched "Velvet Goldmine" last week which just left me with a residual "Gawd, I adore that Ewan McGregor!" feeling. Nothing like seeing a guy rock out with his c**k out (QUITE LITERALLY) to renew one's appreciation .... if you've ever watched "VG" then you KNOWS the scene in question... Good flick overall ("Velvet Goldmine" not "The Island") and it made me feel like my personal music library is quite lacking in the glam rock genre (it's lacking in country music too, but that's entirely intentional!!)
"The Island" was okay.... watchable...tolerable. Ewan was in fine form. Though I'm not much of an action flick fan, and I get the sense that in a month, I won't remember all that much about the movie.