Friday, June 29, 2007

I was just rereading my recap of my 4wheeler faux pas and I think it would totally benefit from a diagram. Just a sketch of the backyard layout and clothesline set up. Me & 4wheeler would just be an "X" there would be arrows showing my path, my intended path, etc. I see myself explaining it with the aid of one of those tele-doodling gadgets like John Madden uses when yammering on about football plays. I think I described things pretty well, but a visual aid would give perfect clarity, y'know??

mighty mighty multitasker

Tonight I played "Bunch" while watching "The Devil Wears Prada" on this PC's Windows Media Center. Though I am such a techno-whiz these days that shouldn't stun anybody.

My game scores were not great. My Bunch record is 15 thousand somethin'-er-other hundred, well I don't EXACTLY know the # of my best score-- it was over 15thou and less than 16 thou--that I am sure of. Tonight I surely didn't crack 16 thou. It seems I play better when I am not simultaneously watching a movie.

And as for that movie...EH. The plotline was really trite,but after all, wasn't it derived from chick-lit? Super successful chick-lit, but chick-lit nonetheless. I hate to be snooty,but I do avoid buying any books that sport fluorescent art work (generally a sure sign of chick lit) on the covers.
So, anyway, 'twas predictable and trite and uninventive and all that, but I'd not say the movie was a total loss. Hathaway was really beautiful in this movie. I mean, she IS a very beautiful girl, I guess her being in such DORKY fare as "The Princess Diaries" (1 &2) had blinded me to that fact. And Meryl Streep is terrific in her role. And though Adrian Grenier is a cutie...I would never, NEVER, NEVER pick him over Simon Baker!! At worst they revealed his (Simon's character's) business ethics to be a little shady, but otherwise he was THOROUGHLY charming and really, seeing him drinking his coffee in naught but his li'l hotel towel?? To that I just say...Ethics SCHMETHICS!! And still she goes back to her old beau ?(sorry...I suppose even if the whole movie is super predictable that would still be classified a "spoiler" Forgive moi) What the HELL??Is she on CRACK? So yeah, just seeing Simon Baker made this movie worth the price of rental...he is just too foxy for words. Yeeeah, and he's Australian to boot and..and.. happily married with 3kids. Oy. Ain't that always the way? Oh well, at least Gerard Butler's still single. ( And I SOOO can't fathom why. He is primo!!!)


This is movie was the 5th rental I've gotten from a Red Box vending machine. If you ever see one of these in your local supermarket, I urge you to check it out. They're kinda rad. Oh there are drawbacks--mainly a lack of variety. Netflix is IDEAL for variety...they have nearly all the old and obscure titles I go for. But I have trouble with Netflix too. It's no fault of theirs but their lax "no late fees" policy result in my holding on to a movie for months and months and months... So Red Box has the instant gratification factor going for it, and it's got most New Releases. Plus I just love getting things out of vending machines. Incidentally, I also like the idea of eating in an automat , although I'm not about to travel all the way to NYC (where the nearest automat restaurant would, for example) just to do so...

listen (oooh-waaah-ooooh) do you want to know a secret?

I have a cute little property damage anecdote to share. Promise not to tell , 'kay??

My dad gave himself a 4wheeler for Father's Day. Bought a used 2004 from someone who advertised it in the free " It's Classified"paper. And actually he will tell you it was a Father's Day gift from my mom,and he thinks that simply because when he was contemplating buying it she input "Yeah. Whatever. Go ahead." Anyways, it was out front the other day because he had washed it then parked it on the lawn to dry in the sun. By the time I got home after work, it was just about dried off and he had proceeded to wash the car. So I decided to ride the 4wheeler around the house a few times. The real fun ride is to take the trail up the mountain, but I wouldn't dare do that. I did it before, but only riding on the back and trusting my Dad to drive... it was cool . The woods are gorgeous and it's the awe-inspiring sensation of a scenic hike without the strenous bother of actual hiking. Felt like he was going along at a pretty zippy pace too, and that was a bit of a rush. But as for me driving up the mountain trail? Aw hells no.. When I imagine that scenario (even when hypothetically going at a less-than-zippy pace) it always ends with myself & 4wheeler tipped over my legs smashed and pinned to the earth by the 4wheeler and possibly my skull cracked open on a rock. So yeah..laps around the casa are as daring as I get at this point. And I even try to confine these laps to perfectly flat land. Anyways, I believe it was on my third lap when I managed this total bonehead move....

I hit the clothesline. The clothesline is at the back of my folks' house --a 7 or 8ft tall T-post anchored underground by a cement T-post anchor chunk, and from the top bar of that post, clotheslines run over to eyelets screwed in to the edge of the patio roof. Directly behind the Tpost is a big hill. So on previous laps I had driven right under the clotheslines on flat land, but on the third lap I was feeling a bit cocky. Just not cocky enough it seems. As I neared it I thought ,"Yeah, this time I'm going *behind* the post...just to mix it up" Now, I realized that this move would have me tilted uphill at like a 45 degree angle, but I was all chockablock with chutzpah in that instant and I was gonna go for it. In the next instant though, fear of capsizing gripped me and I steered toward flat land. Physically, I split the difference and hit the clothesline pole. If I had kept up the nerve to follow through OR chickened out sooner, this all would've been avoided. Ahh well. It was funny. I just know what look I had on my face too. My mouth was locked in this cartoonish "o" of surprise. Classic!

Of course, this collision made me want to holler "Oh F----!" but all this time, my Dad is washing cars out front, blissfully unaware of the calamity transpiring in the backyard. And I instantly decided to keep him blissfully unaware. I backed up and parked the 4wheeler and quickly inspected it for any signs of damage. Thankfully, there was not a scratch on it. The clothesline post was not dented or even slightly dinged...but there was the small matter of it now leaning drastically to the right. So I yanked it back upright as best as I could (and as quickly as I could) but wasn't able to get it absolutely straight. Of course, I had never paid close enough to the clothesline to know whether or not it had been leaning pre-incident. I hope it was. After doing my hurried best to fix the post, I hopped back on the 4wheeler and continued on my lap. Now here's the really bad part...the sin piece de resistance, if you will. After I'd come around front I parked the 4wheeler and was headed in the house my Dad sez to me " You were stopped back have trouble??" he had been somewhat paying least listening to my progress anyway. So it's my perfect opening to just come clean right (the truth shall set thee free & all that,right??)?? Ahh well no.. I'm a ginormous LIAR actually. I said "Oh. Yeah. I have trouble shifting this thing!!"

But I told my sister about it the other night when we went out to dinner. And now I've told you. I'm half repentant and half really amused by the whole thing...

buy a token now for a ride that's super wow on the subway!

I found lyrics HERE and yes, the old lady does say what I thought she said. Yyyyikesies!!

I was a mildly appalled that a website calling itself "The Sesame Street Lyrics Archive" (thereby inferring they are S-Street afficianados ,of a sort) would misidentify Betty Lou as Praire Dawn. Otherwise, they've got a neat-o site going on, but that error rankles me...


Ok, I've learned me a new trick and I am rather stoked I must say. Like any skill I have trouble picking up, it wound up being ridiculously simple. That always throws me off. Of course, that is not to say that the ridiculously difficult skills are my specialty either. I have trouble with both ends of the difficulty spectrum. But anything mid-range I can manage quite well (moderately simple -- somewhat difficult).
ANYWHOOODLE...back to my new trick (if you've not surmised it from my last 2posts, then I'll outright tell ya-- I figured out how to embed videos in my blog)and related glee. I do want to be mindful to not overuse this new skill and just post videos gratuitously, simply because I'm pleased that I CAN. So I here and now instate a one video per week limit law.

Let's give this another shot...

Living in small town U.S.A. like I do, I don't get to ride the subway on a daily basis. But this vid makes me wish that I did!! Of the handful of subway experiences that I have had...I don't recall any of them being half so delightful as Bert, Kermie, & co are having here. OH HOLD UP... Did she just sing " You could lose your purse or you might lose something worse on the subway"??? Hmmmm. Well. Whatever THAT implies, they still make the subway look like a hell of a lotta fun here.

Thursday, June 28, 2007

technical difficulties!!

So that video post didn't happen...not the way I wanted. I signed up for a dang YouTube account just so's I could post You Tube vids in a nifty way (with the vid queued to go on the blog w/ a big play button on it) I figured establishing a YouTube account and then posting videos from there would do it. And I've tried numerous times to post a video and keep getting the message saying "The video will be posted to your blog shortly " But nothing! Either I botched the setup process somehow, or YouTube's notion of "shortly" is something like 3-4 weeks.
wowsers...I was pretty drowsy last night and strapped for crap to write about. Again, I am not so full of ideas right at this moment. I'm gonna see if I can post an arbitrary YouTube video today...

Wednesday, June 27, 2007

ring around the collar--DAMN IT ALL TO HELL!!

What exactly was ring around the collar?? I've not dealt first hand with this phenomena but I fuzzily recollect early 80s advertising that made "ring around the collar" sound like a fate worse than bubonic plague. It was advertising for some detergent, I can't remember which detergent though.

Was only really pondering this because I am doing laundry at present. I thought I should simultaneously kill some time posting (which I'd promised to be more dilligent about). I'm on the 1st of 2 loads, so OY VEY have I got time to kill!! Due to the wussy water pressure here, 1 load of laundry takes about 5 hrs or thereabouts to go through the whole wash cycle. OK well that's exaggerating a smidgeon, but it does take a loooooooooooooooooooong LONG time.

Ya know, if I had not been so darn remiss w/the blogging, I would've been able to promptly share with you the exciting discovery I made in the field of celebrity-birthdayology last week. I will still share it with you, because it's too neat-o to hoard, but it would've made more impact had I told y'all back on June 21. Sorry! Anyways the discovery-- Michael Gross and the-artist-formerly-known-as-Meredith -Baxter -Birney (she dropped the Birney some years ago) were born on the EXACT SAME DAY. It's not just a mere matter of them sharing a June 21st birthday-- both Steven & Elyse Keaton were born on JUNE 21 , 1947. How nutty is that?

Here is a website that recently snagged my attention. I'm a bit of an Alan Bates fan... actually, I think I've owned up here in this forum to having a weird retro-crush on him (& Oliver Reed too) so I'm suprised I was unaware of this fansite until just the other day. I'm so impressed with the site that I'm reluctant to refer to it as a "fan site" You can see that a hell of a lot of work and research went into this site, whereas the word "fansite" makes me think of an amateurish, juvenile, gushy shrine type of site. A fan site is something like I would produce if I tried to make such a tribute site. For instance, my hypothetical Gerard Butler site would read something like- "And 300! Did you see 300? Ger was superhumanly fine in that, no? Yeeeoww! Hubba Hubba !!Daaaaaaaamn! Here is a screen cap of a scene that got me EXTRA twitterpated.." But the Alan Bates tribute site is excellently done. I linked to the film archive section of the site (rather than the home page) because I thought that was the niftiest (and handiest) part. These are the movies on said page that I have seen--

* Evelyn--rented this once upon a time...not for an Alan Bates fix either. I don't think I liked him at the time,and also this is circa 2002 Bates, a good 30 years older than the object of my retro-crush. It was a sweet movie though, so I do recommend it. Although I am a sucker for anything set in Ireland.

*Gosford Park-- I own this one, but that purchase was on account of dreamy Clive Owen being in the film.

* The Mothman Prophecies-- I don't even remember Bates being in this but I have seen it. I don't remember all that much about this movie actually, but I know I did watch it. I saw it with my sister, who was utterly freaked out about it (I must sometime tell you of the interesting way we disagree in our definition of what constitutes a SCARY movie. I don't wanna veer waaay off topic now, but remind me sometime...) It didn't frighten me half so much but I was a bit wary of bridges for a week or so.

4. Hamlet-- I watched this in some high school English class I think. Don't recall it clearly, other than the scenes Mel Gibson shared with Glenn Close (playing his mum Gertrude) I found rather cringe- inducing. UGH.

5. Women In Love-- have rented this a thousand or so times. I suppose I'll buy it sooner or later. A really good movie (featuring Bates in his prime and Oliver Reed) I have the DH Lawrence novel in my books-to-read queue and am really intimidated by it before even cracking the thing open. This is because I've attempted to read DH Lawrence before-- got about 1/2 through "The Rainbow" and I found him to be VERY tough going. The book just got really ponderous when he got to presenting his underlying themes. Too blasted esoteric for yours truly.

6. Georgy Girl-- sweet movie...Bates is adorable in this. Can't say as I'm crazy about that ending though. Oh and that theme song is like musical brain bird ox..

7.Zorba the Greek-- Rented this one a while back. This of course, is Anthony Quinn's show (and he is very good) but I rented it to see circa 1964 Bates. I enjoyed the movie, but oddly, I cannot remember how it ends...and I think I rented it not that long ago...hmmm...

Alan Bates Movies I Want to See (ranked most anticipated (#1) to least anticipated (#))

1. ***Far From the Madding Crowd (purported to be a BEAUTIFULLY staged movie... I wonder if seeing the movie might compel me to revisit that very Hardy novel which I started --and abandoned midway--2yrs ago)***

2.The Shout (obscure arty horror movies of the 70s are mucho RAD)

3.The Go Between

4.Whistle Down the Wind (also stars young Haley Mills!! She is also mucho rad)

5.The Fixer

6. In Celebration


8.King of Hearts

9.An Unmarried Woman

10. Butley

11.The Wicked Lady

12.Royal Flash


14.A Kind of Loving

Monday, June 25, 2007

Crack-esque diversions

This game is 99.999% of the reason I've been such a shoddy blogger these days. Ok, that's somewhat of a cop out but really, for the past week or so, whenever I've had some free screw off computer time, I haven't wanted to post, I've wanted to play "Bunch". I blame it all on Bunch & summer doldrums and I REFUSE to take any responsibility for my negligence, damn you. Seriously, that game is like CRACK. I've always dug those tetris-y sorta games that send you into a trance.

Speaking of game addictions...believe it or not, I am not prone to them. I'm not much of a gamer at all actually. But when I do get into a game, I always seem to gravitate toward the most obscure and/ or bizarro game out there. I remember when I was rooming with Celina,(many many moons ago) I happened to pick up Monty Python's Meaning of Life game (I confess it, I am a bit of a Python nerd...and I believe the game was on sale) and for oohhh, I'd say 2 months or so we'd play daily in the hopes of winning the damn thing (consequently attaining the meaning of life, which we did, thanks to a lot of online cheats) I think a real gaming geek would scoff at such a game, but I adored it. I probably would still adore it, though I've not played the thing in aaaaages.

Well, I will try to mend my ways and post a bit more consistently this week... I PROMISE...

Monday, June 18, 2007

I've been neglectful

Forgive me for not posting for a few days.'s almost been a week.

Because I hate lengthy recaps of stale news, (and yet on the other hand, I don't want to have y'all uninformed) here is an abridged run-down of what's been goin' on lately...

I was in mi amiga Celina's wedding the weekend before this past weekend (6/9 to be specific) resulting in my having the fabulous nail-talons I am sporting now and snagging a super cute new summer purse (a personalized mini tote--my bridesmaid gift/consolation prize ) It was really great to spend some time with C and I didn't botch it too badly. But --oy vey-- how my pool of single amigas is shrinking!!

So, upon returning from the wedding weekend, I got BITCH SLAPPED by reality. Conveniently, my cell phone crapped out around 3pm on that Friday afternoon and I suppose I could've borrowed someone's charger (mine being left @ the office) but I figured "Naaah, I'll just shut it off, it'll be fine" I actually thought it...those very words played on my internal soundtrack. That is what jinxed me right there. If I had merely shut it off , put it away, and not thought that I think I would have avoided subsequent reality slap. Anyhow, what happened is this... I decided on my way home Sat night that since I never got to call and check in with my folks, and it wasn't too late, I would just go right over to their house. I get there and the first thing my Dad says to me is "Did Laura get ahold of you??" I wish, like a news article, that people would just say WHAT THE FUCK WENT DOWN so you don't have to get all panicky trying to speculate. He says instead, in a sort of upset-sounding voice, "Did Laura get ahold of you??"and instantly I've got 1000 grim possibilities running through my noggin of what calamity transpired in my absence.
The actual calamity was this -- my mother broke her ankle. Certainly not the worst of all possible scenarios, but my folks have been needing a spot of extra help with mom being more or less immobile for a while. So I've been staying w/ mi madre y padre. Fortunately , Mom has since graduated from a wheelchair 24/7 to a wheelchair some of the time and hobbling around in a ginormous orthopedic ski boot the rest of the time. Which isn't great but it's better. Especially when going in and out of the house. Last week when going inside one time, I hit the edge of the ramp just so and almost launched her out of the wheelchair. Good thing I'd told her to hold on.

Tuesday, June 12, 2007

another must see movie

I was browsing Amazon today and they were plugging the movie Evening and so I watched the preview and, consequently , I am now fixated on reading the novel and then seeing the movie. Not sure I'll be able to catch it in the theater-- I want to-- but I read on some site that it was getting only a "limited" theatrical release.

Apparently Clare Danes is the unifying theme (thus far) in movies I MUST see this summer. I really like Clare Danes. I can't quite articulate why, but I just do.

on a MUCH lighter note

This commercial cracks me up! My Dad was baffled as to why I was so damned hysterical whilest watching it, insisting "It doesn't even make any sense!!"

Well, I must concede that point. The commercial in question does NOT make any sense. But it's amusing as all hell nonetheless. I mean, first and possibly foremost, how adorable is that Pipi Longstockingy wig on that dude?? Note his facial expressiveness while he experiences his epiphany. That's some stellar acting, baby!! And that line "I deserve a hot juicy burger--not because I can tear a phone book with my bare hands--but because I have a mouth. And IT WANTS ONE!!" So confounding it's hilarious. I am now going to employ that formula whenever I voice a craving for something: I deserve a {insert food/bev that you are hankering for here} not because I can {insert somewhat bizarre & totally irrelevant skill here} but because I have a mouth. And IT WANTS ONE! For instance...if I happened to perchance be jonesin' for a root beer float (that's highly probable by the way) I might bellow--" I deserve a root beer float--not because I can play "The Greatest American Hero" theme song on the xylophone-- but because I have a mouth. And IT WANTS ONE!!" Genius.

a fucked up, evil, sadist is a person in your neighborhood, in your neighborhood...

I do live in one of the safest states in the nation. OK, well I haven't done the actual, statistical research but I feel safe in assuming it's in the top 5. That's why local news items like THIS ONE freak me right the hell out. I have been lulled into a false sense of security and then I read about such atrocity transpiring, like, 5 min away from me and I am STUNNED.

Now I am usually one to preach rehabilitation, or compassion, etc...but with this one..nope. No way. Not even I can muster mercy for this fucker. I hope they put him in jail for a loooooooong long time.

Monday, June 11, 2007

the June desktop

a coupla posts ago I was contemplating a desktop makeover. Well, I executed a maaaahvelous makeover...while it is visually stimulating, it is also a sly reminder that this job is ALL ABOUT the #s...sales $$ , my order stats and let's not forget-- my PAY CHECK (such as it is) Check it out--
There was this other (below) Count von Count pic I was thinking of using but opted not to... This one doesn't give me the big chortle that my chosen desktop pic does. Although, it does intrigue me. What the HELL happened on that day--the day that the Count stopped counting?? Look at the dude-- he looks like he's in the midst of a major life crisis!!

Tuesday, June 05, 2007

I just figured out that this dude's name is "Mr Six"

So yeah, I am a potential future Mrs Six. Quite a promising prospect, I know....

a few of my favorite thangs

I LOVE these...who ever invented these dealies should definitely snagged some sort of industry award for Hair Accessory Innovation....if the hair accessory field has such awards. And they should....some rite of acknowledgement & rewards would promote the development of clever new product and the right hair accessory can totally make your fucking day. Seriously.

I love headbands (a funky print wide headband is especially nice) but those things slip around and always give me two ouchy spots on my skull. That's why I like these. They look cute, stay put, and are absolutely painless.

Also I was belatedly reading the USA Weekend Sunday paper supplement tonight and came across this article about the "kicks" that will be hot this summer. I was thrilled to see my dream Reeboks featured . See below a scan of the very page I tore from USA Weekend. Sure I could've found the shoes online, but I was too stoked for just that.... I wanted the tactile experience of clutching the newsprint in my sweaty little mitts (then clutching it to my heart whilest squealing euphorically)

Anyways.. I want (need, MUST HAVE) the Reebok Freestyles (right side, 2nd from bottom) I'm not sure I want to do bright blue though. I think purple would be neat. Orrrr, I think a red pair would have a Michael-Jackson's-"Beat It" video-ish feel to 'em. I had a pink pair & a black pair of these in the sixth grade and I very wickedly coveted my amiga Heather's Reebok collection. She had four or five pair (probably four) . She had this same bright light blue , and red, and 2 other covetable shades...
According to this write up, these "kicks" "drop" in June or July. I thought the frequent use of the word "kicks" was bad enough but then they start in with "drops" and it feels like they're just being damned gratuitous with the lingo.

MASH results

Was killing some time on the 'net and decided to visit Play Mash and play a few rounds. Now, because I like to be sporting about it, I have a rule that -for each category-I have to put an icky option in 1of the 5 fields. As you can see, that made for some REALLY unsatisfactory results in Round 2.

So here are 3 of my possible fates according to the Astounding Soothsaying Powers of an online MASH website---

Round 1 results--
You will live in House.You will drive a kelly green AMC Pacer.You will marry John Krasiniski and have 7 kids.You will be a dpw worker in Iceland.

Round 2 results--
You will live in Mansion.You will drive a orange Rascal scooter.You will marry 6flags geezer and have 2 kids.You will be a concert pianist in Salem Oregon.

Round 3 results--
You will live in Apartment.You will drive a pale Pepto pink Mercedes.You will marry Gerard Butler and have 5 kids.You will be a librarian in New Jersey.

Friday, June 01, 2007

uber-TB dude: does anyone else see this or is it just moi?

One of the big questions in this current TB scare is "HOW could the border patrol in NY let Andrew Speaker through their checkpoint AFTER they got a computer notification to not only bar him from the country but to put on a mask too??" Here is my admittedly cockamamie theory...

Dude looks like Jim freakin' Halpert from "The Office"!! America loves that damn show (me included) and Halpert is your consummate "good guy" and that's why border patrol waved him on through!! Yes, like I said, it's a cockamamie theory. But what if I was RIGHT???

PHILOSOPHY. . . is the talk on a cereal box

First off, I hate John Tesh. Not as a person, of course, but everytime I come across his voice on the radio, spouting "Intelligence for your life" I immediately gag and switch the station. Except for last night. Last night, I was a bit groggy or flaky or something, just not attending to the radio so much and wound up listening to Tesh by default on my way home from work. And he was reading this letter from a super grateful fan who was crediting him with inspiring her and changing her life. And I was like ...WOW. Is that a sign of my being JADED? Obviously there are people out there--I suspect lots--enlightened & inspired by this dude... maybe it's a testament to a deep cynicism in me that I dismiss his "intelligence for your life" as trite treacle.

What do YOU think? Is this the blog of a seriously jaded person? I mean, you'd think I'd be the authority on yours truly, but then again, perhaps not. Certainly I have a good insight on who I am, but I don't know that mine is the definitive opinion on the issue...

So I was pondering my own cynicism levels, and deeper questions of self-perception vs actual character as I walked from my car in to my apartment. Suddenly I shook myself out of this reverie and found that I was standing in front of the locked door to my abode, keys in hand, and pushing the "UNLOCK" button on my car keychain. Yeah..pointed at my house door. Pressing the button repeatedly. I certainly do think one needs to be introspective and soul-searching & etcetera, but after a point, it seems it hinders one's ability to function. At least in my case anyways. Me and Hamlet.