Tuesday, October 20, 2009

Halloween costumes

I procrastinated (procrastinating is a specialty of mine, you know)on deciding on a Halloween costume and now that the big day is fast approaching well....I'm thinking of dressing up as a scarecrow. Sadly, I do own a pair of overalls. I mean, let the record show that I've not worn said overalls since the mid-nineties, I just don't throw anything away. So, it seems like, with overalls at the ready, I have only a few other elements I need to gather for a scarecrow get up. I've even bought some raffia (looked less itchy than hay) for peeking out of my shirt cuffs/neck. So I'm halfway resigned to scarecrowdom but.... scarecrow just feels like one of those "I'm-gradually-giving-up-on-Halloween" type costumes. Another example of this type costume (an extreme example) is my brother-in-law : he was given a pair of scrubs at the birth of one of his kiddos and that has been his go-to "costume" every year my sister has been successful in badgering him to dress up for Halloween-- Dr. Greg. Laaaaaame.

I don't wanna be lame!! I f-ing LOVE Halloween!! It's my dang birthday!! I wish I knew how to sew or that I had mad money to fritter away on a costume. I wonder how much $$$ it takes to whip up one of these costumes?Then, not only would I be able to take PRIDE in my Halloween costume, but I would also enjoy the excuse to answer everything with "Yyyyyip yip yipyip yip UH HUH" for an entire night.

Oh, I dunno. Sandra is RACKED WITH INDECISION. Scarecrow may be out. Anybody wanna buy some raffia?

Saturday, October 17, 2009

baaaaaaah. I feel blogstipated. Someone feed me a topic & I'll do my best to try and run w/ it. Come ooooon...

Thursday, October 08, 2009

my car and I are both eeeeediots...

I ran out of gas on the interstate this evening. That sort of half sucks. I mean, it's certainly not a tremendous amount of fun, but there's also that big rush of relief when you discover that your car is not egregiously fucked up after all. Just needed a li'l drinkie (like yours truly, after the week I's been having). I mean, in retrospect, it seems obvious that it was outta gas-- it started getting all "chuggy" acting, like it did that one other time a few years ago when I ran outta gas, and it was behaving just Wayne's car does in the nail-biting climactic ending of Wayne's World 2 (*SPOILER ALERT*:he ran out of gas). But at the time of the breakdown, I was thinking it could be **anything** and it sure felt like it HAD to be the most catastrophic of catastrophic vehicular failures. Yep..zero to panic mode in 1.3 seconds....c'est moi.

I first wanna point out, in my defense, that my car has looong had a busted sending unit and my gas light will oftentimes come on after I just filled my tank. Basically the gas gauge has no significance whatsoever. So I just hit the tripometer every time I fill up and then at around 300 miles travelled I fill it again. I mean, figuring I get 20 miles to the gallon (and I'm probably getting a bit better than that) with a 17 gallon tank, I would be able to go 340 miles on a full tank. So if I refuel everytime I hit 300, I'm giving myself a decent buffer. My tripometer today? Read 270 miles. What the fuck, right? I must not have filled the tank the last time I "filled up" (I don't really remember whether I did or not). That's the only way thing that makes sense though.

Oh, and in semi-related news. I thought MY BRAKES were going to shit last night. They sounded all hissy and the pedal was going down to the floor a bit further than it had been. Now I don't know if those are the usual symptoms of driving 13miles with your e-brake on, but that's what I did last night. Y'see, I went to my friend Roxanny's for dinner & a flick (I've been on a helluva Vincent Price kick, but last night we went for a cinematic change-o'-pace and watched Kiss Kiss Bang Bang). Upon arrival, when I parked on her slopey driveway, I pushed down my e-brake pedal and thought "Don't forget you have your e-brake on!!" I know what you're thinking ...that I forgot. Oh, ye have little faith!! I did not back up so much as an inch without pulling that brake release lever...or..ummm...what I thought was the brake release lever. The brake release pull in my car is in the vicinity of my left knee (well, not where my left knee is now, but where it is when I am sitting in the driver's seat, stooopid!) And, just to the left of the brake release is the Open-the-hood pull. And that is what I pulled last night when I left Rox's . FAAAAAANTASTICO!! No, I didn't have a scary, hood-flying-up&obscuring-my-vision moment while driving (like in Tommy Boy....or was it Black Sheep....quite possibly Planes, Trains, & Automobiles) because of that brilliant little latchy deal. Though it was a bit of a scary moment when I hopped in the jalopy this a.m. to zip off to work and I spotted how the e-brake pedal was down to the floor. Holy Fucking Mother of Charles Nelson Reilly how badly did I fuck up my car last night??? The brakes seem to be working fine. I have detected no lasting damage from the e-brake faux pas....unless the e-brake drag caused me to expend 10X the normal amount of gas to drive that 13 miles than I normally would , thereby leading to this afternoon's predicament. But I really think that had to be me not filling up fully...had to be.

I thought the cigarette lighter was the automotive equivalent of an appendix, but now I'm rethinking that. I'm wondering if the fucking e-brake does ANYTHING at all...
Riveting news item. But where's the photo??

Tuesday, October 06, 2009

miscellaneous oddments

Today I was working in the supply room unpacking boxes of envelopes and I farted. Not terribly loud. Medium loud. The unfortunate part of this scenario is that I wasn't in there alone. Larry was in there too, but he was at his desk, across the room, with a couple of metal shelving units between us, and he was listening (I hope, very intently) to Howie Carr on the radio. Also it was odorless. And, in case it was heard over the blatherings of Howie, I was careful to suppress any audible reaction (though I felt myself blush instantly) and did a brilliant job of following it up with a lot of box unpacking noises so that one might think it was an odd audio byproduct of that task...the pooting of box lids or something. (Yeah, I dunno. It was a REFLEX...not very well thought out)

Well, whether it was noticed or not, he didn't say anything and I shook off my embarrassment pretty swiftly.

In other trivial, lowbrow news, my father had to replace his toilet seat. For some unfathomable reason, he did not trudge down to Walmart like 90% of the populace would. No, he got online (part of it, I think, is he's just inordinately pleased with himself for mastering online shopping) and tracked down what I presume is the finest toilet seat known to mankind. Or I hope it is anyways...he paid $46. for it. Am I missing something? Is that the going rate for toilet seats nowadays?? I'm thinking it's a smidge pricey.

The first thing he said to me when I got here tonight was "Didja check out the bathroom??" All eager-like he was. I suppose, if I'd shilled out $46....well, if I wasn't enthused, I would make myself be... I told him for that price it should wipe your ass for you.

(I know, I know...I'm so crude. I promise my next post will be 100 x more refined)

Saturday, October 03, 2009

A gentle breeze from Hushabye Mountain
Softly blows o'er lullaby bay.
It fills the sails of boats that are waiting--
Waiting to sail your worries away.
It isn't far to Hushabye Mountain
And your boat waits down by the key.
The winds of night so softly are sighing--
Soon they will fly your troubles to sea.
So close your eyes on Hushabye Mountain.
Wave good-bye to cares of the day.
And watch your boat from Hushabye Mountain
Sail far away from lullaby bay.
Watching Sadie & Lucy tonight we watched approx 1/2 of Chitty Chitty Bang Bang. Lots of great songs in that movie, but I think that lullaby might be my fave. And that whole scene always gets me a smidge verklempt, y'know??

Friday, October 02, 2009

tube blather

Aside from Heroes on Monday night, Thursday night is overrun with all the decent must-see shows. Thursday has: Grey's Anatomy, The Mentalist, The Office, It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia , *and*Project Runway. Oh, but speaking of Heroes--to backtrack a skoach-- I'm glad it's still on Monday nights (takes some of the suckiness out of the customary Monday suckiness, you know) HOWEVER, that said, NBC failed to send me the memo about bumping it up to 8pm. I was very conscientious to keep an eye on my watch during this past Monday night's shopping expedition and made sure I was home before 9pm (8:40 to be precise) Consequently, I only saw the last 15 min or so of Heroes. How vexing.

I watched most of my Thurs shows however. I only caught bits & pieces of The Office, because I was more engaged by Project Runway. I know I've declared Christopher as one of my fave designers (Logan is my other, BTW) but MAAAAN, he made it hard for me to keep on lovin' him this past episode. I can't think why I would have a problem with anybody--be they a he-body or a she-body-- being expressive of their feelings. On a rational level, I think that's fine--commendable, even. And yet... once the overt emotion gets to a certain degree I truly find it offputting. How callous of me, right? Anyways, Christopher was theeesclose to getting the ax and he was a blubbering MESS. It was kinda excruciating to behold. I'd hate to see the depth& breadth of his devastation had he actually been eliminated. Louise was a trooper though. Just the plaintive coo of a meadowlark and some wise parting words accompanied by mildly watery eyes. She held up well, I must say.

I can't help but let my reactions to the personalities color my at-home runway judging a bit. Like the top 2 designs: Carol Hannah's & Irina's...I liked both of them quite a lot and thought they deserved attaining the top 2 slots. However, I was *not* wanting to see Irina win again...mostly because she is a bitch-on-wheels. Not quite as bitchy as the dreadful Nicholas, but pretty bad.