Tuesday, October 28, 2008

Look at this precious li’l poster I made for this Friday’s potluck. It kinda makes me glum that I probably won’t get to do this type stuff after my job changes. Kathy & Delce are my front desk counterparts in Wilder & Springfield (respectively) and they’re both (compliments first) very good at the job because they’re hard workers and exceedingly organized. But they both seem a bit lacking in artistic flair & refined taste (these things matter..if only to me). But even WORSE, their emails are consistently riddled with poor grammar and lousy spelling. Real moronic faux pas like using “there” when you actually require the possessive “their”. Grrr, do I HATE that.

Anyways, Kathy is going to be the one to take over my job and it’s going to pain me to see all these potluck posters and meeting signage with typos and the most run-of-the-mill clip art that Word has to offer. I don’t even wanna think about how the “daily announcements & roll call” email is going to suffer. Although. . .I’m sure a ginormo pay increase would help me transition more tolerantly….

Monday, October 27, 2008

I’m wearing some pants that I haven’t worn in aaaages. Good news is that I can button & zip them. Bad news is that I cannot do that with any degree of comfort. And I am wearing them anyway. I didn’t give myself enough prep time this a.m. to allow for emergency wardrobe revision. They’re uncomfortable enough when standing, but when I sit in them—oooff!! There is definitely now a bas-relief of pant seams on my belly. Lovely.

So maybe I shoulda skipped lunch. But I was huuuungry! I had brought in a ham salad sami (ham salad used to be one o’ those foods I wouldn’t touch w/ a 10ft pole ...along with egg salad…seems I have grown much more salad-tolerant in my old age) and walked to Shaws to get soup. Specifically: broccoli cheddar soup that has been giving me broccoli cheddar burps all afternoon. I’ve recently found that the soup on the Shaws salad bar has improved tremendously . They have this new “Culinary Circle” hi-falutin’ store brand which I suppose is like a Shaws equivalent of the Central Market stuff they peddle @ Price Chopper. I haven’t done extensive research yet, but just based on the Culinary Circle soups (which they stock the salad bar with): very promising. Even with the residual after-effects (flavored eructations) the cheddar-broc soup was good. The tomato basil vegetable soup was excellent. The chicken noodle soup was magnifico. Yeah, this cold weather’s got me on sort of a soup kick…

Heroes is on tonight. I gotta applaud the scheduling for that show. I really appreciate it being on Mondays. It’s somewhat of a silver lining to the black cloud that is your typical Monday. Y’know: Grrrr I hate to get back to work…where did my weekend go? But HEY—Heroes tonight!! I don’t think it’s been on any other night in all 3 of its seasons…so Monday must be working for somebody (or somebodys) other than just me…

Tuesday, October 21, 2008

it's a mad, mad, mad, mad post

Hey kids.

I started to watch It's A Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World on Comcast OnDemand tonight but my attention span wasn't quite up to the challenge. What's the running time on that puppy?? {popping on to IMDB to check run time & get link} Ahh, a mere 192 minutes... but it feels like 3 yrs. Not that I don't like the classics--I DO!! And there were several bits I enjoyed tonight before I ditched the flick. I liked---well, why don't I just show you? (I really don't have all that much to post)

A real bona fide early 60s Twist is a fucking laff- riot everytime. BIG yukks.This would be a prime example of that. That girl is especially funny. I would have to be in a very heavy, heavy fog, narcotically speaking, to be able to maintain such an expressionless countenance whilest shaking my groove thangie.

I also liked Jim Backus's small role in the movie, as lush pilot Tyler Fitzgerald.

"What could happen to an Old Fashioned, a'right??" HAA! Extra funny since Backus had the swankiest voice to ever come outta a larynx.

I've seen the flick before, when I was a kid. I used to watch LASER DISCS (those are such a weird bit of media archaeology) at my friend Jenny's. Her folks had quite a LASER DISC library, but the only titles I recall specifically is ...Mad World & Foul Play (with Goldie Hawn & Chevy Chase).

I saw some wigs in Walmart last night, really funky colored ones. Only $9.88. What is it with Walmart tacking 88 cents to the end of their prices? Anyways, I was considering one as part of my Halloween get-up. I know crimping my hair (the original coif scheme) is way cheaper, but a wig would be way easier (and more Hologram-ish) When I take a curling iron to my hair, I invariably miss big hanks of it (particularly in the back) and crimping is even more labor intensive. Now, krumping isn't labor intensive at all but it's key that you have the proper music and that you don't try to do it while crimping. Yeah, I'm a little out of practice,but I can krump. I can krump like a bastard!!

No I can't. Not truly. I was fibbing so that I would appear "cool".

Speaking of dance moves I can't quite master. ..I was listening to Public Enemy's " Can't Do Nuttin' For Ya, Man" and it occurred to me that it would be a primo song for a move I call "Crazy Hip Hop Head". It's this very distinctive head wobble that I can identify quite readily but can't achieve. It's just noggin movement--nothing overly strenuos-- but I still can't get it right. When I do it, it comes off all Roxbury Guy-like. Which is not the proper technique AT ALL. Other dance phenoms I have unsuccessfully tried to emulate (solo, in the privacyof my own home or car)--

the dance Claire does on the landing in The Breakfast Club's gratuitous dance montage.

the ass-shaking-independently-of-the-rest-of-the-body move that all the cookout ho's do in Juvenile's video for "Back That Ass Up" There's a name for that move, and I do know it, but it's rather icky and I'd rather call it an "autonomous ass bounce" even if it means nobody knows what I'm talkin' 'bout. Anyways, semantics aside, that motion is totally impossible. Having never seen it in person, I'm going to conclude that it's all the work of CGI.

But in positive news, after watching about a half dozen instructional videos on YouTube, I am fairly confident that I WILL be able to moonwalk with a spot o' practice. Don't snigger. The moonwalk is the cat's freakin' jammies.

Oh, and I think I will buy a wig. It's only $9.88 after all..

Sunday, October 19, 2008

more on "Wendy"

..It was bullshit, just as I'd suspected.

No, I couldn't find anything on the origins of "Wendy" on Snopes, but I did find it sufficiently disproved on The Straight Dope website.

truly truly truly outrageous blathering

I wish that I could blog telekinetically. I have all manner of delightful notions and insightful insights that flit through my noggin over the course of the day but then I go to sleep and the bulk of it dribbles out my ear and seeps into my pillow (I sleep on my side) and it's lost forever. Waah.

I made caramel apples tonight. They came out muy bueno.

I decided on my Halloween costume. I'm going to be ...for about the 10th time in my life...an 80svalley girl. Like fer sher. At first I was kinda leaning towards a 50s era thing w/ poodle skirt. I had never done that before. I 've always felt that, as Halloween period costume cliche, the 50s broad is always a superior choice as opposed to a 60s hippie chick. Flappers are good too (but I've done that). Thing is, I didn't want to shell out much $$ on this costume and as it happens, I don't already have a poodle skirt hanging in my closet. I looked online and couldn't find a decent deal. I wanted a nice one for cheap, and it just wasn't gonna happen (during my browsing, I found this site most impressive) But even the cheap lookin' ones were selling for more than I wanted to spend. And I would want to pair it with a sweater set (knit shell & cardigan... gosh, mohair would be ideal, no??) but that's even more moolah. So basically, I'm doing the 80s val. thing again because I can do it well for cheap and already have some of the components. I bought a few things this weekend though-- a big sweatshirt (I'm gonna give it the Flashdance treatment) some jewelry, white RayBans. I was momentarily tempted to get Venetian blind shades (y'know the kind Kanye's taken to wearing) I know just where to get 'em too. But I just couldn't justify it. There is no integrating those into my everyday wardrobe after Halloween. The Ray Bans are kinda dorky, but at least they offer up some ocular UV protection, y'know. Shutter shades are just utterly frivolous. Yeah, officially, they're called "shutter shades" but I prefer to call 'em "Venetian Blind Shades". Y'know my sis & I both had a pair back in the day. Laura's were white and mine were red.

Hey, speaking of eyewear this will be the first year my costume authenticity won't be compromised by my glasses. Perhaps I'll put a new spin on the ol' routine this year and instead of claiming to be "an 80's girl" I will say I'm one of the Holograms (Jem's band). I know what you're thinking--why not just be Jem and use that persona as an excuse to perpetrate some truly, truly, truly OUTRAGEOUS behavior? Hmm? Well, to authentically be Jem, I would need magical star earrings and bright pink - pale yellow hair. Well, I don't know where to procure such earrings, and I am NOT doing that to my hair (but I'm going to crimp it). So, since I endeavor to be authentico, I therefore (for aforementioned reasons) can't be Jem. A lesser known Hologram it is, then.
I am dangerously on the verge of an epic Jem tangent right now. I went to check and see if any of the Holograms had normal looking hair... you can't believe how many effing Jem websites there are out there. Wow. Something for everyone on them internets, eh? I wonder if that cartoon inspired anyone to name their kid "Jerrica". It's not totally implausible. I once worked with a girl who was named Mindy and YES, her mum did name her after Pam Dawber's Mork & Mindy character. So, it does happen, ya see? Although probably not with the name Mork. I think the name "Mork" was dreamt up specifically for that show (like the name "Wendy" was supposedly invented by JM Barrie according to one of those trivia factoid email forwards I got once upon a time...remind me to check that out on Snopes.com) And doesn't "Mork" sound like it's short for something? "Morkus" or --better yet-- "Morkimer"?? Gosh, before I veer off into a whole other tangent, let me post this pic I found on one of these nutty Jem websites...

That was the Jem doll that I had as a youngster. Well, it's not Jem herself, really. Not even one o' the Holograms. It's one of their entourage. "Video" is her name, and as you may have surmised by her unconventional name, and her fancy high tech pale blue and lavender camera equipment, she shoots all of the Holograms' music videos. I wonder how my parents came to buy me this one. Because surely I would've asked for one of the central band members. Probably I wouldn't have wanted Jem (I shunned the mainstream as a tot...I was so snobbish) but probably one of the Holograms (or Misfits, more likely) But not this loser. Probably my mum got confused OR my sister told her to get this one. Laura always schemed for me to have uglier toys than she had. That's got to be a control freak older sibling thing..

Anyways, I wound up basically looting this doll for her kooky threads and used them on my Barbies and left her nakey at the bottom of the toybox. Oh, the Barbies 'jacked her camera too. I feel a bit bad for her. But look at her, she's freakish. There's a reason she was behind the camera.

I gotsta go make some lunch for tomorrow. Ciao puppies...

Friday, October 17, 2008

on the tube 10-17

Tonight I watched the season finale of Project Runway, 2 eps of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, 1 ep of The Marvelous Misadventures of Flapjack and then the movie IronMan.

Firstly, Project Runway -- the outcome was totally not a shocker. Not because I'm such a dab hand at predicting reality show competitions, but because I made my customary visit to my pal Kara's blog and pretty much the first line of her latest posting read something like :"LEANNE WON PROJECT RUNWAY" instantly ruining it for yours truly. Grr. That Yakkety McBlabbermouth. Ok fiiiine, so she's not. . . . Scottish. Make that "Blabbermouthski"

Haa. Just foolin' K. Although you did inadvertantly spoil the PR finale for me. Truth is, I didn't care too much. I was really rooting the mostest for Jerrell & after he got the boot I was done caring. Don't get me wrong, it's still a worthwhile hour of television (really about 35minutes when you super-FF through all commercials) But after Jerrell was eliminated I didn't care who won. OK, well Kenley is a bitch, and tremendously annoying but... in all honesty, I can't say that I hate her clothes. Especially those in her Bryant Park collection. Like, she didn't dazzle me in the challenges .In fact, I just couldn't shake the feeling that they kept her on just for her abrasive (and drama condusive) personality. But I really liked her final collection. It pains me to concede that, but I did.

Conversely, I liked what Leanne produced all throughout the season, but her final collection sorta disappointed me somewhat. I did like it, but I personally like a bit more color. And then there were the gills. I can't see why Kors& co. kept calling them "petals" when they were clearly gills. Whatev. Point is, I did tire of the gills on every-damn-thing. But I do think, overall, Leanne has a very real talent that is very unique & innovative , and also think (as the judge's panel seemed to as well) that Leanne can transfer her innovativeness to other ideas. I was wondering if any significance can be read into the fact that Kenley crafts this signature sleek,smooth, & bouncy Betty Page-esque coiffure on a daily basis and she does an impeccable job on her makeup. Whereas Leanne--maybe dabs on a smidgen o' foundation and doesn't appear to own a brush or comb. It's as if Leanne's look is saying "I am ALL ABOUT my work. Channelling all my artistry into the clothes" Maybe not. It's just a notion that flitted through my mind. Although, seriously, now that she's won, has some moolah, has a sweet ride, she can "rest on her laurels" for a spell and maybe test drive a makeover. It could mean a serious boyfriend upgrade. Did you see her fellah? If she's going to be A-list, she needs that bf upgrade!!

And Korto...well...her friends and family were lovely. Her collection was lovely ..though,really, it didn't knock me on my ass or anything. But in keeping with her M.O. everything was very well made. Although, I can't agree with Tim on his fave...some beige thing. For me, that was the low point of her show. But to descend into pettiness/ cattiness now...I was sick of seeing Korto all weepy and sick of her going braless. I was, like, embarrassed for her, clad in some of those thin fabrics and unabashedly *pointing* at Tim Gunn. She's some kinda fashionista, right? She must know they make strapless bras.

The reactions: Leanne cracked me up at the very end of the show when she busted out her rapper persona and said "$100,000 dollahs--drinks are on this BRUTHA!!" Loved that.

And then the losers-- sure I get being disappointed but these chicks were utterly despondent!! It was STUPID. Sorry, but I just could not drum up any sympathy for 'em. Korto was all "My heart is bleeeeding" and Kenley sobs "I'm CRUSHED" ...meanwhile, I'm like "Oh, please." Yeah, yeah, you wanna win, of course, but truly, just getting to Bryant Park is enough. (Can you tell I'm not the most competitive of souls??) Do you know how much exposure you get being there? How many famous folk are checking out yer threads?? In that regard, I feel like all of them kinda won. Leanne just won the most. I mean, jinkies, practically everyone who gets on that show-- even if they're dropped early on in the season-- sees substantial career boostage afterwards. It's like being on The Price is Right. Maybe you didn't win the Showcase Showdown, but you're not exactly headin' home empty-handed either.

Tim Gunn though, is 10X more adorable than Bob Barker (or Drew Carey for that matter). I just love Tim. I want him to be my fabulous gay adoptive dad. I could just see him coaching me on my everyday life. "These sounds your car is making. This CONCERNS me." "You have a budget of just $100. until your next pay day. And you want to go out for drinks? At Elixir?? Hmmmm. OK! Make it work!!" Make it work...love that. That is a primo mantra. Or motto (emblazoned on my new adoptive-paternal coat of arms). Or both.

I then found that It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia was one of the gratis TV-on-Demand offerings for Comcast(@ casa de mis padres). Which kinda vexed me...as I've now found 2 ways to catch up on Sunny absolutely FREE OF CHARGE. (Comcast On Demand & on hulu ) But this I discover after I've bought 2 episodes of the current season on iTunes (well, I've actually bought 3 episodes of Sunny-- 2 from this season and 1 from last season)

Really, I'm not much of a cartoon buff, but I love Flapjack. It's like the cutest cartoon ever.

Flapjack & Family Guy are the really the only cartoons I watch. Although I do have the Dungeons & Dragons DVD set on my Amazon wish list. That was my Saturday a.m. *must-see* when I was a young 'un. That and Muppet Babies.

I really liked Iron Man. O' course, I love Robert Downey Jr...probably that has a lot to do with it. I've probably said it before, but I must reiterate: Kiss Kiss Bang Bang is the cinematic cat's jammies. If you've not seen it, skip renting and just buy the sucker. Not only is it a fine RD Jr fix, but it's got Val Kilmer too.

I like Jamie Foxx too, so maybe I'll go see The Soloist (whenever the studio gets around to releasing that)

Monday, October 13, 2008

new title possibility...

AMANUENSIS. A grandiose word with Latin origins. It may be just the thing for my ID badge.

Saturday, October 11, 2008

I mentioned this a few posts back. I f-ing love this ...

Tuesday, October 07, 2008

I need a HERO

I would be sadly remiss if I forgot to blather on about last night's Heroes.

I've send it before, and I shall reiterate: time-travel stories confuse the &^$@#% outta me!! I think it would be easier for me to wrap my brain around this if this whole futurescape was just part of Parkman's loco-berry induced dream. But I know that's not how they're gonna play it.

Oh, speaking o' Parkman ("PacMan" as that nameless tour guide fellah calls him) it's good to see him with a fam and apparently getting some lovin' in the future-- even if it is with that Daphne chick. I suppose she was incrementally less annoying in this episode anyways.

I suddenly find myself kind of smitten with Sylar. I wasn’t into him the past seasons (this is season # 3, right??) when he’s been completely blackhearted. Which is not to say I want him to turn into a goody-goody either. I like him how he’s been this season—shades of gray, so to speak. It started (my change of heart) when he made a funny in the season premiere (“It’s your brain, Claire. That’s DISGUSTING.”) and then, this episode, seeing him as a loving/vengeful pater familias-- that was very nice. Shades of HRG, no?

Was not in the least surprised that Nathan & Tracy started smooching. I mean, you can't fault her--she has no idea that he has an MIA parapalegic wife & MIA kids (what the hell happened to his immediate fam anyways?) Plus, how can you not make out with someone who swooped outta the sky and saved you from a death-plummet?? I'm only surprised that she held out until she'd finished her scotch. As for Nathan--well, born-again & superpowered or not, he's still a man.

I am of course, MUCHO intrigued about who the supervillian is that's making a big return in next week's ep. ERIC ROBERTS, MAYBE?? I don't really think so, but I would like it to be. I mean, he got shot or burnt or somehow offed, but he was working for Linderman (who could've reversed that). It can't be Adam--just because that would be a dirty trick-- to promise a mysterious big return next week for someone we've already seen return this week...

Oh and I did rock the vote. Voted once for Iowa and once for North Dakota (had to use my Dad's email to vote a 2nd time)

my priorities are WHACKED

I'm feeling like, as a dutiful American citizen, I really ought to be watching the presidential debates. Instead, I was diverted by a whole other election entirely. It's Cosmo's Hottest Bachelor of 2008 Competition!! YAY!

I went all ape shit over the Cosmo Bachelor dealie last year, so this year I was going to opt for restraint and just share the link, tell you my fave (Iowa), and be done with it. But then I decided that y'all were owed a lengthy post (even if it's waaay too rambling) since I post so very intermittently nowadays. Therefore, I am giving you my opinion on every single bachelor. That's 50 of 'em!! I'll try to be succint about it...(if I can)

ALABAMA--First off, I'm not too big on blondes. Plus, if you watch his video you'll see he styles the coiff very oddly. Oh and speaking of his video--it is really terrible. The first half is endless footage of him doing wheelies on his motorcycle in various parking lots. Then it shifts awkwardly from moronic to sad and awkward. I don't want to criticize the sad & awkward part, as it's rather heartfelt and noble. I'll just say it leaves me more compelled to donate to March of Dimes than vote this guy 2008 Bachelor of the Year. But in that regard, perhaps I shouldn't call it "terrible" ---just "terribly ineffective" then.

ALASKA- Meh. Too baby-faced.

ARIZONA-- Not my top pick, but not bad. I am mildly vexed by his quote "I am motivated and like to have fun." I don't really cotton to his flouting his beaucoup motivation in my face (braggard!!) but what really causes me to roll my eyes here is him pointing out that he likes to have fun. It's a pretty commonplace bit of self-description, but everytime I hear it, I sorta scoff, as it makes me ponder the converse--namely, just who the hell doesn't like to have fun? Well, it truly does take all kinds to make a world, so probably there is some considerable sub-culture of fun- haters out there. So I shouldn't scoff. But I do. Because it's still a rather dim-witted way of describing oneself.

ARKANSAS: He looks too young too. He does get points though, for his answer to: "Wow him by wearing.."

CALIFORNIA: Meh. Jhanelle is a girl name.

COLORADO: Dude looks older than 27 to me. He started a non-profit org though (that's in his vid). Very impressive. Still ain't voting for a blond though.

CONNECTICUT: I liked 2007's CT bachelor. This guy ain't doin' it for me

DELAWARE: He also looks older than he sez he is. Also he could stand to tape back those ears.

FLORIDA: He's not BAD..none of these guys are really bad. But I have issues with this one's hair. He has Monchichi hair. Also I have to give a big "WTF???" to his penchant for girls in overalls.

GEORGIA: He has better taste in women's clothes than Mr. FL, I'll give him that. But we could never be. Dude, is WAAY to outdoorsy for me.

HAWAII: I got a little melty watching this guy's video. Not from him being ultra-hot bachelor material, but he was just adorable. Mucho sweet. The cynic in me sez he's a li'l too good to be for real. Oh, and does this guy's roomie realize how his girlfriend is raving (& craving) about other dudes??

IDAHO: Yeeeeah..I'm not feelin' it. He could take some pointers from Mr GA on how to pose avec trees.

ILLINOIS: He's cute! In a young Chris O'Donnellish sorta way.

INDIANA: AAAGGHH! Children of the Corn!! Hellllp!! This bad shot makes Mr IN (I wish his name was Gary...and I would commence ta callin' him "Gary Indiana" and inevitably bust lispily out into song) look creepy & evil. But if you watch his video, it is not creepy or evil- seeming...just dull and badly shot.

IOWA: Aww YEAH. He is getting my vote. Not just for being smokin' but he interviews perfectly too!! And he has a hot name. On the negative side, he is quite a young pup (silver lining: makes it much easier to ply him with liquor).


KENTUCKY: More flappy ears

LOUISIANA: VERY cute. Even though he seemed slightly less good looking in his vid, his video was very cute nonetheless--well done and not tiresome like some other submitted vids were. I would like for him to get a haircut though.

MAINE: This guy is 23 with the hair of a 40 year old. He should always, always, ALWAYS wear hats. He was a quite a bit cuter in his video (wearing a hat), but I found the whole thing pretty repugnant. First offence: a rather lenghty montage of his modelling portfolio. Wow. This guy really digs himself. And then it keeps getting worse. He gets in the car and he says he's a really awesome singer and than sings along with some song on the radio he loves (a real lame song, IMO. Demerits for that..) and then afterward he says "Oh I was just kidding, as you can see I'm not that great a singer" but you can SOOO tell that he never once thought for a second he was anything less than SPECTACULAR (especially whilest singing). Then he arrives at the gym and you're treated to a montage of him lifting weights-- not as long as the modelling montage, but long enough to be boorish.

MARYLAND: This guy looked cuter in his video (I think this shot does bad things for his beezer) but he is overall underwhelming.

MASSACHUSSETS: Cute, but...an ab man. Let's move along, shall we?

MICHIGAN: I'm uhh.. confused here. TWO Michigan candidates? Did Michigan win some Cosmo lottery of sorts?? No fair.

MINNESOTA: Aggh!! No. Too toothy, this one.

MISSISSIPPI: This one also has a mean look about him. Maybe not evil. Just mean. Or at least, squinty.

MISSOURI: Another baby face. Unfortunate last name.

MONTANA: Now when I said that many of the videos got tiresome? This is a great example here. I couldn't even watch the whole thing. OK-- you ranch. You're a rancher. We GET IT.

NEBRASKA: A redhead? That's a hard-sell, NE!!

NEVADA: Even if I were to vote for this guy (I wouldn't) a first name of "Keithen" really might make me reconsider...

NEW HAMPSHIRE: Hey! I've been to Newport, NH!! Numerous times!! I very well could've seen this dude on the street and been unimpressed with him in person! WOW.

NEW JERSEY: Cute. He had a pretty good video too, but I feel like he had a bit of an unfair advantage, what with all his professional television personality training.

NEW MEXICO: The land of enchantment. .. this one is fairly enchanting from an aesthetic standpoint, but I found his interview to be offputting. Ambition? Active daytime first dates?? Blecch.

NEW YORK: I was wearing silver hoop earrings while I read that silver hoop earrings turn him on-- O M G!!!

NORTH CAROLINA: Very nice looking fellah. His video was okay, but he didn't seem to know when to end it and I had to give him MAJOR DEMERITS for putting his memories slideshow to Aerosmith's "Don't Wanna Miss a Thing" That is criminally schmaltzy. I can't forgive that.

NORTH DAKOTA: Tied for 2nd with Louisiana. Super cute and terrif interview. Wish he'd submitted a vid!!

OHIO: This guy's pic didn't impress me, but his video did. He RAPS!! Granted, he sounds a lot like Dr Evil when he raps, but it's very creative and he put a lot of effort into it. Perhaps he feels a lot of pressure due to Cosmo Bachelor 2007 winner being from Ohio. Oh, and his quote about women?? Good stuff, Mr OH. Mr OH 2007 ain't got nuttin' on you, if ya ask yours truly!!

OKLAHOMA: Blonde, bland, named Lance. Pass!

OREGON: It would have behooved him to not submit a video. I suspect that German fellow is his b.f.


RHODE ISLAND: Aww, this guy NAILED the interview. Tricky name though.

SOUTH CAROLINA: "Tribble" can NOT be his honest-to-God, printed on the birth certificate name. No way. Watching this guy's video made me feel tipsy. Ahhh, college.

SOUTH DAKOTA: Hmmm..not crazy about the tatt

TENNESSEE: This guy's video is a hoot.It really doesn't play up his foxy bacheloriness (he is rather foxy though) but I really appreciate how he seems to have no qualms whatsoever in making an ass out of himself. It's endearing, kinda. Also, I wanna meet his little bro...his voice reminds me of that little Caleb boy on American Gothic.

TEXAS: Mehh.


VERMONT: Though I'm not voting for him, I am proud of my state's 2008 candidate. Our 2006 & 2007 picks were nuthin' special. This guy, while not numero uno, can't say as I'd kick him outta bed for eatin' crackers either...

VIRGINIA: Yaaaawn.


WEST VIRGINIA: Sez here this guy is a "UPS Staffer" Which probably means he works in the office. I presume that simply because it would just be too much of a dream-come-true to have this guy as your friendly neighborhood UPS driver. Can you just imagine? Trying not to stare at his package while you sign for yours? YES, this guy would be a quite welcome substitute for the plain ol' schmoes UPS sends me on a daily basis.

WISCONSIN: A very cute young cub.

WYOMING: Oh, a pipeline worker? Really, for real? [Insert obligatory pipe-laying joke here] This guy seems a bit skeezy to me..

Saturday, October 04, 2008

Old Dan Tucker...

.. was a mighty man. Washed his face in a frying pan. Combed his hair with a wagon wheel. Died with a toothache in his heel!!

I never did get to bake a pie today. Mostly on account of my sleeping in so damn late (and having to be at my sister's by 4:30). Just didn't have time. But I did find a recipe to use and wrote up a list of needed ingredients. So I'll get it done tomorrow...

I did watch some of the mma fights tonight. The main event wound up being Kimbo Slice vs Seth Petruzelli and not Slice vs Ken Shamrock as previously planned. I'll bet Kimbo is--in retrospect--miffed about that change of plans. It took all of 14 SECONDS for Petruzelli to take him out . It was pretty rad, I must say. The ref said "Start fightin'!!" and Kimbo advanced, trying to back Petruzelli into the wall and P shifted into offense somethin' FIERCE. 2 kicks and then he got Kimbo down on the mat with a jab to..the chin, I think it was. Then he pinned him down and kept on drilling him in the head. And shortly thereafter the ref called TKO & victory for Petruzelli.

I didn't think Slice would be defeated--partly because of his weight advantage, but mostly due to how very SCARY he looks. But I was pleased to be mistaken. Kimbo Slice bugs me. Also, the winner has the same 1st name as my nephew, plus he had these cool pink patches in his hair . And I thought the goofy victory prance he did around the cage was utterly charming. But I think I'm in the minority on this...just judging from crowd response. It was predominately booing.

Check out the heavyweight champ on the Elite XC website. Having not seen this dude (Silva) fight, I'm going to presume his top skill is being able to withstand any & all blows to the chin. The dude's head is a good 85% chinnage...it's astounding.

Later I watched SNL. Musical guest was the Killers. I had forgotten how much I dig them. There's something very herky-jerky and David Byrne-esque in the way Brandon Flowers performs. I was thinking he was looking a bit gaunt, though. Like, I recall finding him rather foxy in the "Mr Brightside' vid, but he wasn't all that I remembered him being. But I dig their music & they sure do put on a show. That's what matters. I'd love to go to a Killers concert.

Other highlights of this SNL-- I found Anne Hathaway to be a quite capable host --in particular she was very cute & funny as Mary Poppins. The digital short was decent. The one thing that really cracked my shit up (nearly woke my sister up w/ my laughing) was Andy Samberg doing "Mark Wahlberg Talks to Animals" Very simple premise, but it was so weird & goofy that it really slayed me. I SO wish I had a vid to post!! Perhaps in a few days...

Friday, October 03, 2008

mad random randomness

I watched the movie Waxwork last night. It was horribly cheesy..I rather liked it. I like Deborah Foreman, and tend to dig her movies. Her character in this one came down with this bizarro fixation on the Marquis de Sade. Yyyikes! I think you're average outsider of the 80s you're apt to listen to lots of Joy Division, have posters of Robert Smith or Morrissey or somethin' but ...the Marquis? Daaamn! Gee, that's ummm..yeah...pretty flippin' dark.

I went to a wax museum once upon a time. It was House of Frankenstein in Lake George, NY (which is apparently still operational). As you mighta surmised from the name, it was a wax museum of the "spooky" variety. You'd think, as I was just 7 or 8 yrs old, that the folks would take me to one of the "Madame Tussaud's" variety, with facsimiles of top celebs in bland & nonthreatening poses. Or skip wax museums entirely, if the only one in town is going to get me pants-shittin' scared (I didn't--for the record-- shit my pants. I don't know why. I surely could have. Must've toured the House o' F-stein prior to lunch) But these were the parents who thought it was fine for me to watch The Birds at age 6. That movie gave me recurring nightmares! No wonder I'm such a skittish lass today(a skittish lass who doesn't take too kindly to birds). Anyways, I don't remember much specifically about the displays, just that they were pretty heavy on the gore. The first few freaked me out so much that I was walking with my head down & holding my sister's hand. I fixed my gaze on the floor & said to Laura " I'm not going to look" But she would be all "Oh HEY ...this one's not bad!!" And I would look and be horrified by a blood-spattered chainsaw murderer holding up a severed head or some such grisly tableau. And Laura would laugh her ass off when she fooled me this way...and probably I fell for it more times than I should admit. Older sisters are big meanies.

Speaking of big meanies*.. I think I want to watch the EliteXC fights tomorrow night. Or at least DVR it. I'm going to bake an apple pie or two tomorrow and then baby sit the kiddos, so not sure when I can fit the fight in. Anyways about the EliteXC crew...aforementioned big meanies...I found myself, fixated on perusing this site. It's naughty of me to generalize, but I was surprised to see so many fighters that have college degrees (supposedly, according to their site bio) Also, it surprised me how many pretty faces were found in this crew. If I were so good looking, I would not want to subject my face to regular fist pummellings of great force and frequency. And let's not forget cauliflower ear. Of course, there was a number of nonsurprises-- dudes who look like they've definitely been incarcerated (at least once!). Yep, I don't care what it sez in their bios, some of these dudes have fer sure seen the innards of the hoosegow.

This guy is my favorite. James Thompson--he was in the first & only mme fight I've seen (that silly ass-clown Kimbo Slice beated him, I'm afraid) and I thought he was foxy then too (minus the cauliflower ear).

He hails from Manchester (Manchester England, England. Across the Atlantic Seeea) and he has a hot accent. Well, he'd be hot without the hot accent (and lots hotter sans ear deformity) but the thuggy Brit accent is a nice bonus. I think I wrote about him in a previous post, but I don't think I'd read at that point, his bio on the EliteXC site. I was particularly intrigued by the final line of it, which read "Prior to his professional fighting career, James worked as a debt collector and Gypsy remover." Now the debt collector thing, well if that ="repo man" well, then that would add cool points to his resume. But don't tell me he's one of those credit card company asswipes that call me constantly. "Your account is delinquent Ms. LeeeMYRE..." Fuck that...if he was that brand of debt collector, I'll get in the damn ring with him myself. Bastard. Although, Gypsy Remover is undeniably a cool credit to have in your work history repertoire. Is there a big market for Gypsy removal nowadays? Is Manchester overrun with Gypsies? Hmmm...

To suddenly & entirely switch topics on y'all-- DESKTOP PICTURES.

Here's one I had put on my parent's PC because it rather amused me, plus I thought it might annoy my dad that I was futzing around with his computer settings unbidden. Anyways, the pic:

Oh that ZANY feline!! Don't he know that birds can't digest frankfurters??

I can't put a pic on my desktop at work (stupid fascists won't let me express meself) but if I right click an image and select "Set as Background" my computer will show that image when shutting down & also when it logs me off (if you're idle for --it's either 10 or 15 min--the system will boot you out of Windows...it's some dumb HIPPA privacy dealie) . So I recently changed my background to this neat Bob Peake illustration:

Because I love the pop art/ Yellow Submarine vibe here. Well, he had some other work with that same flava, but I selected this particular one because it's an ad for travelling Europe and I would love to explore Europe .

I raved in a post earlier this year about what marvelous illustration scans leifpeng has put up on his flickr page, and to me, Bob Peake is definitely one of the stand-out illustrators featured therein.

In other "good things" news... after extensive taste-testing, I have conclusively determined that THESE are the finest chocolate covered donuts on the market. Believe it. It's an empirically proven truth. An irrefutable FACT. Hostess Donettes are shit-- comparatively speaking.

Oh fiddlesticks!! I can't believe I didn't mention all the to-do goin' down at work. While I am still, secretly,slowly (ineffectually) working at getting a better job, my current job is changing. Our Wilder office ( the HR, IT, Finance & Marketing departments for the agency) is merging with our office (W Lebanon) in our location. Well, the Wilder office currently has a front desk/ receptionist/ clerical flunkie and that just so happens to be my lot in life in the Lebanon office. So that made me nervous--understandably. Well, about 2weeks ago (yeah, I'm pretty negligent in spreading the news, eh?) Cathy & Shawna pulled me in Shawna's office for a meeting, the gist of which was-- when all the Wilder folk come over, Kathy (my Wilder counterpart) is going to be the receptionist/flunkie, etc. and I'm going to be the assistant to Cathy (my boss that I don't care for...refresh your memory here). They're still hashing out the job title. I requested that it be something fancy. Job title's printed on my ID badge, so I suppose I'll have to get a new one done...and that one will have --god willing-- a better pic of me. Let's hope so. And hopefully it will be emblazoned with something more impressive than "OFFICE SPECIALIST". Ugh..I deplore that title. I would guess it will wind up being "Assistant to the Regional Director". Perhaps I will morph into a real Dwight Shrute sort of right-hand character and will continually try to snip out those 2 pesky words so I can be: "Assistant Regional Director".

Of course, if I really am going to be Shrute, than I am going to have to befriend Cathy (utterly adore her, if I want to emulate accurately, but I barely like her at this point so let's not set our sights too high, eh?) Actually, since I've got the news, I've been trying extra hard to like Cathy. Maybe I'll make a pie just for her. No , that's way too brownnosey..I wouldn't be able to pull it off without gagging at myself. But amongst peers, I really do feel you cannot underestimate the power of a goodwill gesture. Probably I learned that from Roxanny, who is now one of my nearest &dearest, but I remember when she started working with me, I totally paid her no mind. She was just some new coworker and I pretty much ignored her. And one day she totally stunned me by just buying me a coffee cake, apropos of nothin'. I took the bait and now we're great pals. But no, a spontaneous gifting of num-nums to my boss would be most unbecoming (to me anyways....I abhor asskissery). Although I would not object to her lavishing gifts on me. In fact, I think her taking me shopping would be a terrific means of bonding . She has loads more money than me anyways. Why not foot the bill for me to be outfitted in threads befitting my new station?? I mean, I haven't ever broken dress code while working at the VNA, but there have been a few occasions --4 or 5 perhaps-- where I've dressed as schlumpily as possible without technically breaking code. Now, she should NOT have to deal with having a sartorial embarrassment for an assistant...and..incidentally, the lady is moderately $loaded$(I suspect) so there you have it. She should take me on a Saturday expedition to the outlets and we would come back just like Shrute & Scott. Maybe even more simpatico..depending how much moolah she shills out.

Ah well, I'd best be off to bed or else I'll drop off to sleep whilest baking tomorrow and do a faceplant in the pie fillin' "Umm, yes..this pie is indeed delicious except I got a slice with what I think is a nosehair in it..."

*That was a glorious segue if I do say so meself.

Happy Bday Clive-O

Clive Owen turns 44 today. I can deal with the 13 year age difference. I couldn't for just anyone, but for him-- HELLS yeah. I can't deal with the Mrs. sooo..he's going to give her the boot before we can commence our epic romance.

I am not pleased with the headshot in his IMDB bio (here). It's a screen cap from Gosford Park, and even though he was maad fine in that flick (I mean, he's the primary reason I bought that DVD) the screen cap doesn't quite capture it. He is looking a'right, but is by no means at optimum hotness there.

I posted this vid earlier this year (I was diverted by it when I was 'sposed to be job hunting) but Clive's b-day is a good excuse to share it again....

See more funny videos at Funny or Die

Thursday, October 02, 2008

Sting turns 57 today. I wish I’d known in advance. I woulda sent him a Happy Birthday message (in a bottle). I heart Sting. It’s downright unfathomable that he is eligible for AARP . He is still so hubba hubba!!