Tuesday, December 30, 2008

upper lippy locks of love

In one of my new duties at work, I have to order and manage the office & medical supplies. In this job, I have somehow become right hand to Larry, our agency's Facility Czar (I'm drawing a big ol' BLANK on just what his job title is...it definitely involves the word "facility" or perhaps "facilities". "Czar" is not actually part of it, I don't think) Anyways...the one thing I know for certain about Larry is that his whole head looks wrong without a moustache. I didn't realize he was so very much, so incontrovertibly a moustache man until he just this past weekend shaved it off. And this would be fine by me and merely a source for much catty commentary if I didn't have to confer with the dude so frequently. It is all I can do not to stare at the foreign expanse of facial real estate where the moustache once thrived...oh, and there is a red nick there, just to make things extra awkward por moi. It's either a nick or like, a shaving bump..I'm not sure, as I have managed not to gaze at it for a prolonged period of time (although, I think I instead I have my eyes darting constantly about the room like I'm coming down off of a crack high or something)

This has inspired in me much moustachioed meditations...there are definitely guys who should have moustaches. For instance, I quite prefer Alex Trebek pre-shave. Oh, and Tom Selleck is a perfect poster boy for the better-WITH-stache club. I always thought Magnum PI was the foxiest mo-fo to don a Hawaiian shirt, but then the first time I saw Selleck sans 'stache I was like "BleeeeeEECH! Who is this bushy eyebrowed monster??" Anyways, why then is it unprecedented (or, to the best of my knowledge, it's unprecedented) for makeover shows to put fake moustaches on their male subjects? I think that majority of makeover show subjects (would "beneficiaries" be a better term than "subjects"? ) are still women. But, in recent years makeover shows have gotten more equal opportunity...particularly due to the influence of QE for theStraight Guy. So surely, some of these men beneficiaries in these makeovers might be improved by a moustache. If anything, the trend seems to be to get these fellahs as clean shaven as possible. I think on QE it was so that Kyan could get 3 minutes to show off his prowess with a straight razor (ironic? haa ha) OK, I'm not saying it should be "moustaches for all" but definitely for the Trebek types or the Sellecks. Oh-- and have you ever seen Sam Elliot without his moustache? It's an absolute travesty. Like a de-horned unicorn .

So if some broad was on a makeover show with some pitiable short haircut (the Dorothy Hamill perhaps) the hair gurus would outfit her with some extensions, yes? So why not makeover guys with fake 'staches? Is there some tacit stigma attached to fake moustaches? Are they considered too costumey? I mean, why don't male celebrities accessorize with them in the way that starlets clip on extensions when they need a glam red carpet coiff?

pachalafaka--they whisper it all over Turkey

Hello again turkeyjerkies. A thousand &one pardons for my negligence. Lemme get you up to speed. Shouldn't take long...

Christmas was really nice. Seems like for the month of December I was a bit stressed that I wasn't going to be able to get everything done that I wanted to do. I got my cards out a smidge later than I usually do--usually I have 'em mailed around the 14th or 15th but this year I got 'em out on the 19th (with the exception of 3 folks I couldn't get addresses for) and I was a bit relieved after that. And then I finally finished my Christmas shopping practically right at the last minute (12/21) and after that was done, I chillaxed and commenced to fully enjoy the holiday season. There were a few craft projects I never got around to, but oh well. And then Christmas seemed lovely..but it was over too quickly.

I really did well, loot-wise, this Christmas. I don't want to be a total mercenary, but I confess I do take joy in being spoilt....a bit. ..on occasion. It's not as if it's S.O.P. in my life, okay? That sort of reminds me of a quote I read on my desk calendar (if I might digress momentarily..) according to my Schott's Miscellany desk calendar (excellent desk calendar; I plan on hunting one down for 2009) Charlie Chaplin said "The saddest thing I can imagine is to get used to luxury" I think that's interesting in that it sheds a lot of light on what a sicko masochist Chaplin truly was. Ha, ha. Just kidding. I recognize the nobility of that POV, but I can't quite relate. Isn't he being a smidge hyperbolic with that one? Sure, I would definitely say that there are perils to becoming accustomed to luxury. But the saddest thing? Obviously CC had never listened to Terry Jacks' Seasons in the Sun. I don't even get to the end of the first line of the first verse before hitting >> on my iPod. Why in hell did I ever download that song to begin with??
Anyways, I'm not so much into self-denial as ol' Charlie was, and therefore I rather liked all the stuff I got for Christmas. Lemme see...some highlights-- I scored some cash, some gift cards (iTunes, Price Chopper, BK, Luxury Nails, Molly's restaurant) got a super nice bracelet from my sister. And the DVD of A Christmas Story (although it pains me to be trite, it really is my most favoritest Christmas flick. And it was sucky to own it on VHS. Now I just need someone to find me the Peewee's Playhouse Christmas Special on DVD and my holiday movie marathon is perfecto!!) She also got me a jumbo box of Nerds (white,red, &green for the season). For the third year in a row. It's an established holiday tradition now, I suppose (which is fine by me, as I love me some Nerds).

One of the more peculiar gifts I got was a kimono. A friend of mine made me this cotton kimono in this cute floral print. I wasn't sure how to react to it initially-- it was unexpected. But really I've grown very fond of the thing. I find that slumming around in such an exotic and costumey sort of robe is much more gratifying than schlumping around in your run-of-the-mill terry dealies. In fact, it feels much more like swanning around. And although the primary intransitive verb definition of "swanning" just means "to wander aimlessly or idly; to dally"; it connotes something quite elegant, does it not?

Am definitely keeping my to' up green terry dealie for when I color my hair though.

Tuesday, December 16, 2008

Happy Holidayzzz Mutha %$#@

Oddly, I've been in the mood (musically, that is) to listen to either holiday music (I just -- last weekend--put all my Christmas songs back on to my iPod. It took FOREVVVVVER. I have about 130 holiday tunes and it was too dang labor intensive. I think I'll just leave 'em on there) or RAP. I just bought Sugarhill Gang's Apache & Shimmy Shimmy Ya by ODB (inspired by the VH1* top 100 HipHop Songs countdown I watched a coupla weeks back) Also I bought Get Back by Ludacris (inspired by the end credits of Tropic Thunder ). Incidentally, I've found that Get Back is just the ULTIMATE song for the commute home after a vexing day at work where everyone's been a pain in your ass.

Oh, there's some changes on the job front to share (when I feel like typing it out, that is...I gotsta jet now. I want to finish off my Christmas cards) and the 50%possibility of a move in my 6-12 month forecast. Full 411 to follow. . .

*minor VH1 related tangent I must interject here... I recently watched an eppy of "Best Week Ever" after somewhat of a hiatus (used to watch it faithfully) What's with it becoming the Paul F Thompkins Show? The best part about that show was that if some of the jokes fell a li'l flat there was some variety--cut to another comic to pick up the comedic slack, y'know. I suppose I could comprehend the change better if Thompkins was markedly the funniest dude on there, bar none. But that's not the case. Furthermore, I don't see any of these BWE panellist getting OTHER work. What-- is Christian Finnegan now hosting some game show I don't know about? What the deuce?

Wednesday, December 10, 2008

sicky sick illy ill

I have had two people tell me today that I look pale and one person tell me I look “pekid”. Which amounts to me being nervous that I’m going to succumb to a swoon—or worse—at any moment. Especially that “pekid” comment. “Pale “ can be purely cosmetic—and positive, even—noting that I’ve got that Rose McGowan porcelain doll chic happenin’. But “pekid” is never good.

I thought maybe I was affected by skipping lunch today and I took tah rummaging about in my bottom righthand desk drawer for some sustenance (‘cause yeeeah—I’m underfed—that’s my problem) and I tore into this Sunbelt Fudge Dipped Coconut Granola bar I’d had in there since Monday. Thems GOOD. I was sorta shocked by that, because they’re just 25 cents, which is redonkulously cheap and according to the often accurate you-get-whatcha-pay-for theorem, they should be disgusting. You can’t even get those Wrigley’s gum 5pc packs for a quarter anymore.

Nostalgic tangent time. . .

Back when I was in college, there was this dive in W Rutland (on old Rte 4, I believe it was located) and their signs advertised hamburgers for 15 cents. I was always quite curious about that place and what other <$1 fare they offered. But I never stopped in, mostly because of the hygienically sketchy look of its exterior, but also in part due to the aforesaid you-get-whatcha-pay-for mentality. I wonder if that place is still there? Ten years ago, it looked like a good huff and a puff would reduce it to rubble so… doubtful that it’s still there.

Friday, December 05, 2008

Got to paint a 3

Sadly, character actor Paul Benedict was found dead on Monday. He was 70. To most of the world he was the British neighbor dude on the Jeffersons, but I'll always remember him for his numerical masterpieces...

Maaaaaaad skillz!! He could paint numbers like a mo-f0, eh? I loved this guy.

Tuesday, December 02, 2008

The sleep timer

...is one of the most brilliant inventions ever. I use it constantly-- on my TV, on my iPod...

I really wish they could put a sleep timer feature on a PC. I very easily lose track of time when I'm online. I will tell myself "I'm just going to browse around the internets for an hour", but I get sucked into these tangents and before I know it, I look down at the taskbar clock and 2 1/2 HOURS have sped by. Tempus fugit, indeed. But see, if I had me a PC outfitted with a sleep timer, I could say "I'm just going to browse around the internets for an hour" and make that a FIRM hour.

So ,I'm left to rely on good ol' fashioned WILLPOWER and that's never proven exceedingly reliable for yours truly. As it happens, I'm just now taking a break from a bad mammajamma of a tangent (I don't know if "tangent" is the right word...that makes it seem as if it's a verbal thing and it's not really) where I am poring over the Lifetime network's directory of Lifetime Original Movies. Only looking at the Christmas ones, mind you. I'm a sucker for cheezy holiday TV. The big purveyors of this being : Lifetime, ABC Family, the Hallmark Channel, and possibly Oxygen. I can't decide if Lifetime or ABC Fam is my favorite. I watched a bizarro one last year where Jamie Gertz & Dylan Walsh (I heart Dylan Walsh) are an estranged married couple who go snowmobiling out in the middle of absolute nowhere and get stranded like absolute jackasses. Based on a true story (to some degree) . I'm trying to find that one in the Lifetime cannon. Also last year I had kinda been keen on seeing "Christmas Caper" with Shannon Doherty, but I missed it. Wonder if that is a Lifetime one (and if I can catch it this year). Oh, and since I've already launched well off on this topic and exposed myself as a total schmendrick, I may as well proceed to confess that I not only watched & enjoyed Holiday in Handcuffs the other weekend, but I actually DVRed it. Y'know even though I hated that Sabrina show, I always find Melissa Joan Hart to be quite endearing in her dorkiness. And I thought I wouldn't be able to stomach a flick with Mario Lopez as the lead. He's easy enough on the ol' retinas alright, but his acting is generally sorta crappish. It wasn't any better for Holiday in Handcuffs, but crappish acting seemed ok for this kinda fare.

Gettin' in the Christmas spirit

I'm getting a very sllowwww start to my Christmas shopping. I think part of the reason my Christmas shopping is gaining momentum oh-so gradually is because last year at this time I was making quite a bit more $$. The nutty thing is that I work a lot harder in this new job... and get paid less. Where is the justice?? I need a new gig. One where I work less and get paid more. Y'know I just heard they're in dire need of female airport security at the little rinkydink airport in Lebanon. And that the gig comes with beaucoup bennies. I don't think I could do that gig though, dammit. But really I have *got* to find something else if I can. Working for a nonprofit org is a tot-step away from volunteering for a living.

But I digress. I have made a smidge of progress in my Christmas shopping. I think I want to buy my Dad the Shamwow. OK, partly because I'm damned curious about it, I admit. But if it works anything like it's supposed to my Dad would be thrilled with such a product.

Also, I want to get my sister these candles. I am inclined to get her all 3...I sure do wish they came in a set.

I've also got a lot of great Christmas cards. I think that's what's put me in the holiday mood the mostest. I found a surprisingly awesome variety box at Kmart that features Norman Rockwell & JC Lyendecker illustrations--classic stuff. I love it. A box of 28 too!! I was so impressed.

I posted this Family Guy clip last year, but the vid I embedded then won't play anymore. I imagine it was on YouTube and then yanked off due to rights violation or some such hooey. Anyways, I gotsta proffer this nugget of holiday cheer again...