Monday, November 19, 2012

New Product Alert

The Love Is Art kit came to my attention via a catalog I get in the mail called Uncommon Goods.

I am not opposed to buying this.  I mean, presently, I don't have anyone to use it with, but if I did, I think it would make for a very clever Valentine's Day gift.  The only thing that would stop me from buying it for my Valentine is that I have a mile-wide cheapskate streak and I would talk myself out of it thusly: "Ok, Sandra you *know* what is in the kit...can you not reproduce that on the cheapie-cheap? Get some posterboard, grab a gallon of Sherwin Williams, stop off at Walgreens for a 4 pack of wine coolers and it's ON, babe" 

But imagine...perhaps this beau that cranks out this amazing avante garde marvel with you just happens to be THE ONE.  This could be the best part, methinks. You marry this guy.  Your coital  masterpiece is hanging up in the livingroom...and yeah, it gives the room a nice focal point and look how it complements the sage accents in the throw rug but and the hubby have this great, bonding inside joke.  Like, your pastor comes over for brunch and admires your painting's enthralling asymmetry and y'all are inwardly losing your shit.  And your progeny haven't the slightest inkling about how or where you got that artwork that's over the mantel.  Of course you be the sort of sicko sadist parent that reveals all about the painting's origins and wind up with a kid that can't walk into the livingroom without  cringing.

I was a little surprised though, at the number of reviews on the Uncommon Goods website from folks who bought this for other people.  Like for *other couples*.  Generally, as a wedding gift.  Either you're really close to this couple (like fellow swingers, maybe?  I'm totally imagining that someone like this duo  giving the kit  for a gift) or it's just awkward.  It IS awkward, isn't it? It's not just me being prudey and Catholic about it?

Tuesday, November 06, 2012

If I'd had Facebook 20 years ago....

...would I have used it so insipidly???  I guess I can't say for sure, but I'd like to think my 15 year old self would be fairly savvy.

I don't know if you have, or have had, or will have a 15 yr old niece on Facebook, but I tell ya, it's an exercise in self-restraint. If my sister ever logged on (she is not 1/2 the FB junkie that I am...which is funny since she coerced *me* into creating an account back in the day) she would go loco with trying to discern the bullshit faux angst from legit issues. 

She's always posting lovesick yearnings, like addressing some anonymous unrequited love. And probably about 45% of it is quoting Taylor Swift songs, but I can never tell right away 'cause I'm hardly up on my Swifty.

The funny thing is, when you directly question her about it , "Sooo, are you OK?" or "Is there someone at school you're crushing on??"  she will react like it was the most INTRUSIVE thing *EVER*  for you to ask such a thing.  As if it were a top secret subject!!  Posting 3/4 of a revelation online and then pleading the fifth in person is something akin to people who start to tell you something but suddenly opt not to. Except  it's not at all an internalized about-face, it's saying out loud: "Oh, I heard something that I shouldn't tellll--oh. Uh. Nevermind. No. I'm not going to tell you." Grrr...WHY DO PEOPLE THINK IT'S OK TO DO THAT???  That is maaaad irksome!! 

So, OK,  if my niece is indicative of your average teenager, than I deduce that teens are wont to vent about their innermost secrets on the internet... broadcast to just 200 of their closest friends.... and 300 of their closest passing acquaintences??  I am going to appropriate from Cosby and deem them all BRAAAAIN DAMAGED!

The other day, Chloe posted this pic--

Usually I do manage to ignore her, but I was feeling impish on this particular day, so I responded with--
Well, okay, I suppose that could do with a bit of explanatory backstory.  The day before, I had shown her the sound board website Instants Fun! and there was one sound on there that gave her the big time creeps.  It was the slow singing of the phrase "Jiggly Puff".  Later, I snooped around a li'l bit and discovered it was from some pivotal scene in an episode of  Pokemon .  I posted that scene to Chloe's wall--

Well, even with her having that much context, I felt I needed to elaborate. So I further commented--
 And then---
Yeah, I don't exactly get her little friend's comment.  I mean, it's nice and all, to pay her a sweet compliment, but she just jammed it in there out of context.  Unless I'm the amazing lady...but I don't think I am.  It could be that she was implying "DON'T HARRASS CHLOE WITH POKEMON BECAUSE SHE IS AN AMAZING LADY"

Oh...somewhat related PS--
Another faaaaaaaaaaantastic soundboard site is The Rap Board.  For some odd reason, I can never get ALL the rapper head buttons to work. But I do dig what ones I have been able to load.