Saturday, July 31, 2010

vids that make me laugh

Was thinking of how I could go for a viewing of Peewee's Big Adventure again. I just love that movie. Why I suddenly have it on the brain is cuz I have a friend on Facebook, a high school classmate of mine, who just recently moved his family to San Antonio, TX. He wrote on his wall this morning, something about trying to decide what to do for the day. Well, to be specific, he wrote: "maybe off to the riverwalk. maybe the zoo. maybe the alamo. maybe seaworld. maybe just stay here cuz i can't figure out what i want to do" And reflexively, I just wanted to comment "I warn you: there is NO BASEMENT in the Alamo" but I had to withhold & suppress that response because I assure you, he does not strike me as the type of guy that would catch a Peewee's Big Adventure allusion (nor would many of his friends, I'll wager). And so, if I had typed that, it woulda just come off as some sort of weirdo cryptic code of sorts. So I refrained. And that's why I have Peewee's Big Adventure on the brain. It's like idea reflux.
Anyways, this is a very brief snippet of PBA, nothing to do with the Alamo's basement (or lack thereof) but one of my fave bits.

I can't hear "Jimmy Crack Corn" without that scene springing to mind. Haaa.

Okay, one of my favorite audio funnies from this page is the "Trololo" button (center yellow button, row 7) I just fancied that little snippet, but had no prior knowledge of this jackpot of insanity that it was culled from--

 Ok, first of all, pal, I don't think you of all schmendricks should be pointing & laughing at me (approx 1:55). This was on some Russian variety show of the late 60s and the amazing thing is...I think this was TOTALLY IN EARNEST. It seems improbable, I know. How can you hear that sound coming out of your borscht-hole and not find it (and yourself) ridiculous--nay, reDONKulous?

This next one is rather more contemporary. I just stumbled onto it today. I gotta say, I am not all that keen on the broad rubbing cutlets on her cutlets, but I think this rap is very clever. Not just clever, but catchy too.

It could just be that I dig this because they very capably incorporate "broccoli" not once, but twice. Brav-O. It's an established fact that I appreciate any song that features broccoli



Wednesday, July 28, 2010

my big fat yap

Yesterday I inadvertently dissed the counter guy at McDonalds. It was a subtle diss, and it may have escaped his notice, but I immediately felt like a bitch for it. I had gotten a vanilla cone (quick parenthetical editorial:: plain cones, I have ruled, are the very best cone style. Not that sugar cones or waffle cones are yucky –they certainly are not—but plain cones are the best. Y’know the clinching factor—it’s the grid section at the base of the the cone, where the ice cream seeps down into and you wind up with perfect cone > ice cream integration. The only edge that waffle cones have is that they hold a mega buttload of ice cream…but I’m going to rule in favor of plain cones nevertheless) and he was doling out my change. He paused in the middle of this transaction and says “Have you seen the new penny??” He says this all eager-like—either I have the look of an avid numismatist or he is one…or both. Anyways, he shows me one of these coins (looks like this ) and I respond “ Looks like a seal for Justice League” And he said “That’s what I said!!” In retrospect, I see that I could have, and should have, let him have the last word here. But for some odd reason, I felt it incumbent upon me to produce a response of some kind. So I said “OH.” It’s not so much what I said as how I said it. In that singular syllable, I very clearly conveyed how I felt about our newfound concord. Disappointment could be heard, certainly, but the more discerning ear could pick out the more nuanced undertones of "ohmilord If I am mentally simpatico with this schlomo than my q rating has gotta be lower than I thought..SUB-subterranean" -brand disappointment. As soon as I heard the "Oh" I felt bad about it. I'd not intended to be a snotty bitch. But there were no reparations to be made.. . one of those situations where further discourse would just botch things even more. What do you say? "Oh, I didn't mean to infer via my tone that you are some kind of dork loser. Oh, NO, sir!!" I had the good sense to shut my trap at that juncture. I grabbed my cone, and my .17 cents and bolted.

Maybe it was due to yesterday's accidental snobbery that I found myself so chatty today. I think, more often than not, I keep to myself. But every so often I surprise myself with these days where I feel like blasting total strangers with a max dose of wit and charm. I think the outcome of that Psych 101 quiz I took many moons ago (CSC freshman year, specifically) was on the mark..I am an ambivert. Well, I think I part of the reason I was extra-amiable towards the W B Mason sales rep I met with was that he was young, apparently single*, and not too shabbly aesthetically. But I had to be making amends for yesterday when I opted to chat up the unicycle guy in the parking lot. There was no romantic ulterior motive there, I assure you. Though there is something liberating in having a unicyclist in your parking lot to chat up. I made this corny joke , which he didn't even get , yet not only did I not have any corny-joke regret, there was none of that uncertainty that naturally accompanies talking to strangers. Not that I'm shy...but if you totally don't know a person, there's no way of knowing if striking up an unsolicited convo is going to evoke a mean "why the fuck you talkin' to me??" type reaction. But dude was on a unicycle for chrissakes. I don't think surly people ride unicycles, and besides: isn't riding a unicycle in a public area a sort of invitation for comment anyway??

*this means I spotted no wedding ring. But really you can't go on that as an indicator of fair game anymore. This dude--a ring-free dude-- at Staples who was answering my questions on a laptop uttered the words "my fiancee" about a dozen times.. I mean, we were looking at a laptop that was the same brand as the one HIS FIANCEE owns and he was talking of his personal experience of the brand. So there *was* context. But still, his just seemed like he used the phrase he could've trotted it out there initially and then proceeded with the easier pronoun "she". But he said it quite alot and that made me suspect that I had been eyeing him like a fattie looks at a Twinkie. I very well mighta been.

Wednesday, July 21, 2010

until they make" Major Dad: the Movie" this will hafta do

this movie looks like it will be all SORTS of kick ass--

So that jibe about "Major Dad:the Movie" was in jest. I would, however, be game for a movie version of Simon & Simon. Though I INSIST that they retain and prominently feature the original theme song. The Simon y Simon opening credits music is one of the best instrumentals ever. It just makes me happy and makes me want to dance like a drunk uncle at a wedding reception (y'know, all bouncy knees & wild elbows) (OK, OK, if you're straining your brain trying to recollect what the eff I'm on about, well strain thyself no further)

But back to "Get Low" The sole unfortunate thing about this flick (from my initial impression anyway) is that the two words of that title calls to mind countless ass-wobbling hip hop anthems and the lower-bod dexterity tests they incited on the dance floor. Not really synching up with the apparent tone of the movie. But other than that, it looks utterly awesome-sauce. Bill Murray is the cat's jammies, I used to adore Lucas Black from way back in his American Gothic days (I loved that show! "Someone's at the door!!") And of course, Bobby Duvall is always a solid performer (hey, we lunch together, I'm perfectly within my rights to address him thusly) The movie (at least the glimpse I got from the trailer) has a sepia feelin' to it, and that reminds me lots of "O Brother Where Art Thou" (a FAAAAVE of mine) though I don't think this movie will be quite so comical as O Brother. I just really dig that whole aesthetic just the same.

And yes, it is a bonus to see Gerald McRaney in the mix there. It's an unexpected twist. I get an odd thrill out of seeing arbitrary obscurities pop up somewhere you're not expecting them. And I guess that's an easy reaction to get outta me because, you're never really expecting to see Gerald McRaney anywhere are you? I don't want this to sound like I don't think he's good, that is not what I'm saying at all. He's just not exactly monopolizing the cultural consciousness nowadays, eh? And I like sure tires of all the A-listers .It can be refreshing to have someone from the shadows of stage left photo-bomb into the sphere of spotlight. Another example: generally I do not give a baker's fuck about any fare that can be classed as an "action movie". However, I've kinda been eyeing "The Expendables" with some interest. Why? DOLPH LUNDGREN. He's in the movie AND cropping up on the poster. His name, while not right up top, is about in the middle and in BIG PRINT. Decent! Though I can't say the Dolph Lundgren factor would delight me enough to persuade me to pay to see a flick like The Expendables. Oh, but if somebody else wants to buy me a ticket, I'll certainly show up. I love me some cineplex popcorn!!

Saturday, July 17, 2010

one of my fave bands in the news

I don't know what I think about this news story. I mean, I suppose as a model, or , one-time model, you want to be paid for your work, even if your work is mouldering away unseen for nigh on 30 years. But this broad is suing for 2 MILLION dollars, her argument being that --

"the album design, in which the Photograph is featured prominently, was a substantial factor in generating recognition and buzz for the Contra album, thus increasing sales and profits."

What-EV, lady. I loved Vampire Weekend's first album and was eagerly awaiting a follow up. I would have sought out Contra even if the cover had been a dead rat in a pile of pig vomit.

If her signature was really forged on a release document, then YES that is bad. But how were the fine fellahs of Vampire Weekend to know that wasn't a legit signature? (of course I give them the benefit of the doubt, I adore them) If she makes any loot with this moneygrubbing litigious endeavor, I say it should come from the pockets of this photographer or his agency.

Well this whole subject gives me a fine excuse to post this, which I love lots---

These guys are playing a show in Holyoke MA in September. I kinda want to see them, but it depends on how much $$$ tickets are. I mean, as much as I gush over 'em, I can only really sing along to 1/3 of any given Vampire Weekend song. I feel like, to shill out 100 bucks for a concert ticket, one ought to be , how you say.."hardcore"? And the minimum requirement for hardcore status, I believe, is to be able to sing along accurately to EVERY song. I hardly measure up..

Wednesday, July 14, 2010


I gotta post this video here, because my friend Andrea would give me hell if I put it up on Facebook. And I'd hate to waste it (all glorious 37 seconds of it)

I went with pals into NYC this past Saturday. This was our emerging from Penn Station into the magnificent metro...

Weird thought I had at work today

The cleaning crew left a giant wheeled garbage can in the hallway outside the supply room (the very supply room that I go in and out of constantly throughout the day) and after my 3rd trip past it, I mused: I could hide in there, I could take some paper wrapping from our last McKesson shipment, pull it over the top of me and no one would know I'm in there. But then I thought of the down side of no one knowing that I'm hiding in the garbage-- half eaten taco salads raining down on my head and the like. And so I thought : It's too bad I couldn't hide in there, and then have Mr Bundles come in and wheel me away to freedom like he did for Annie. Except Mr Bundles doesn't pick up trash, he picks up big carts of laundry, and if I waited for the cleaning crew to wheel me away to freedom, I would have to hunker down in there all day, perhaps suffering the aforementioned taco salads upside the head. And escaping with the laundry is not a feasible option, as our laundry is brough over to Kleen drycleaners (not picked up) with NO predictable regularity...Larry collects it all in a ginormo-sized buff plastic trash bag and hauls it over there himself. It would not particularly trouble me that Larry would throw his back out on account of the bag of dirty bags unexpectedly being 1000x heavier than usual, but it would suck that the additional weight of moi would be DEAD weight, what with my having asphyxiated from hiding in a garbage bag and all.

Eventually I did flee to freedom, and had a hankering for a cheeseburger and so currently am at a McDonalds, polishing off a Happy Meal. I should have foregone the Happy Meal and ordered a Unbearably HILARIOUS meal like the dude at the booth behind me ordered. He is on the seat attached to mine, (we're seated back-to-back) and since he sat down there, the bench has been quaking almost nonstop. Since the shakes are *sometimes* coinciding with jests his companion is making, then I am presuming it's humor-induced, laughter-related quaking. I don't hear any laughs, but not everyone has a booming guffaw. I mean, shit, if he's NOT laughing over there, I don't know what the fuck is wrong with him....
How bizarre is this??
Actually gets more bizarre: the new development on this project is that they added Micki Dolenz to the cast. Don’t get me wrong, Dolenz has always been my fave Monkee. And, nevertheless, I gotta question the thought process behind casting that dude in anything. It’s either that he’s the only one trying out for the part (which is hard to believe…you could populate a mid-size country with all the struggling actors waiting tables out there) OR producers are deliberately striving for that kitsch effect.