I was gushing the other day about how TERRIFIC and addictive Leifpeng's illustration collection on flickr is. And it is both terrific and addictive, but some of these pics also struck me as rather amusing. I mean, their comedic value is largely due to the goofy captions that accompany them and it certainly does NOT detract from how masterfully rendered this stuff is (I mean, I wish for 1/10 of the artistic ability these guys had).
Part of the fun of these illustrations is how they insinuate some kind of plot, and if you can magnify the text enough to make it legible you then have a silly , provocative caption and the opening of the tale but have to concoct the rest of the story for yourself. That is, unless you want to write to the Saturday Evening Post for back issues from 50+ years ago. Is there even a Saturday Evening Post anymore? Gimme a moment for research. . . aaand...oh hey, whaddya know. I guess you could do that. Who knew there was still a Sat. Evening Post?? Wiiild...
Still, 'tis more fun to speculate. Here are some lovely evocative pics that moved me to speculate madly...
One caption reads "When a Southern gentleman jilts a Southern belle, look to the lady's past for a reason". That rather amused me, and when I set this as my desktop pic, I moved all the icons into that white box of text but made sure that that line was unobscured. The smaller caption here is more mysterioso though.. it reads:
"Only her love for Dana kept her in this house, where night after night she watched hatred drawing nearer to violence..."
I can't decide WHERE violence is about to erupt in this tableau or if it has already erupted...
Is it green lady who is about to get violent? I don't know, she looks,MIFFED at the very worst. Dana doesn't look too pleased about Pinky barnacling all over him and wrinkling his lapels so perhaps he is about to belt her. Oh --and there is the matter of that fellow being hustled up the stairs. At first glance, I thought he was just a decrepit oldster. Buuuut. . . couldn't it also be that he's been kicked repeatedly in the guts and hit with a lead pipe? You would also need help up the stairs if you had been kicked repeatedly in the guts and hit with a lead pipe...am I right??
WOW..she's saying NO even when faced with a suitor wielding a guitar? Why, the acoustic guitar is one of the wiliest weapons in the lothario arsenal....
That is from when my memoirs were serialized in Cosmo. Even though it IS about me, I didn't pose for the illustration (believe it or not). So I'm curious about this gentleman's gesture. According to the caption, it means "Are you by any chance free to take dinner with me tonight?" but I wonder...looks like somethin' else. Well, whatever it means --she /I look(s) intrigued...
What is he doing on that ladder? Is he being a total lech and employing a ladder to gain an aerial view of her cleavage? If that's the case, she is being exceptionally cooperative. Is this a prop in his mime act? Possibly she was steadying the ladder as he used it in order to change the bulb in this light fixture (maybe to a different wattage, or perhaps to one that was less moth-attracting??) but mid-ascent he was overcome by a sudden attack of narcolepsy...
Even more puzzling is HER behavior. The caption quotes her as saying "Slap me--good and hard" WTF?? Does it not occur to her that a dude in this get-up (neckerchief? loafers sans socks??) might not be capable of the good, robust slap she requires...
And speaking of excessive violence... here we have Mariposa Lil. I'm no CSI wiz, but it looks like she thumped him while he was blissfully unaware. Certainly doesn't look like a case of self-defense. Looks more like a case of "How'm ah gonna pay my rent, Red, if you gone gambled away all yo' whorin' moneys?"
But what I love the mostest here is this caption-- "It's hard for a man to love a woman after she's clouted him with a bung starter!!" Ok, ok, I realize a "bung starter" is obviously a mallet for the pounding in of a cork into an old timey barrel keg. But I can't help but snicker. I suppose it comes from having watched too much Beavis & Butthead in my formative years. If there's one thing I learned from my years of B&B viewership, it's that if you do not get the TP urgently needed for your bunghole, you're apt to fall prey to the dreaded POLIO of the BUNGHOLIO. I mean, all polio is bad, certainly, but bungholio polio... jinkies. I can't.. I can't even begin to... damn.. it's just unspeakably horrid..
Anyways, "clouting by bungstarter" is my new favorite threat. I've long favored "I shall GRIND YOUR BONES to MAKE MY BREAD!" which I appropriated from the Giant from Jack & the beanstalk fame. And--don't get me wrong-- I still adore that one. I'd just hate to overuse it. So, today if someone cuts me off in traffic I will holler "You f****er! I shall GRIND YOUR BONES to MAKE MY BREAD!" but tomorrow, when some customer schmuck is rude to me on the phone I will growl "Why I oughtta clout you with a bung starter, you miserable bastard" (with Mr Customer muted or on hold of course ) You gotta mix it up, keep it fresh, y'know??
Part of the fun of these illustrations is how they insinuate some kind of plot, and if you can magnify the text enough to make it legible you then have a silly , provocative caption and the opening of the tale but have to concoct the rest of the story for yourself. That is, unless you want to write to the Saturday Evening Post for back issues from 50+ years ago. Is there even a Saturday Evening Post anymore? Gimme a moment for research. . . aaand...oh hey, whaddya know. I guess you could do that. Who knew there was still a Sat. Evening Post?? Wiiild...
Still, 'tis more fun to speculate. Here are some lovely evocative pics that moved me to speculate madly...
One caption reads "When a Southern gentleman jilts a Southern belle, look to the lady's past for a reason". That rather amused me, and when I set this as my desktop pic, I moved all the icons into that white box of text but made sure that that line was unobscured. The smaller caption here is more mysterioso though.. it reads:"Only her love for Dana kept her in this house, where night after night she watched hatred drawing nearer to violence..."
I can't decide WHERE violence is about to erupt in this tableau or if it has already erupted...
Is it green lady who is about to get violent? I don't know, she looks,MIFFED at the very worst. Dana doesn't look too pleased about Pinky barnacling all over him and wrinkling his lapels so perhaps he is about to belt her. Oh --and there is the matter of that fellow being hustled up the stairs. At first glance, I thought he was just a decrepit oldster. Buuuut. . . couldn't it also be that he's been kicked repeatedly in the guts and hit with a lead pipe? You would also need help up the stairs if you had been kicked repeatedly in the guts and hit with a lead pipe...am I right??
WOW..she's saying NO even when faced with a suitor wielding a guitar? Why, the acoustic guitar is one of the wiliest weapons in the lothario arsenal....I cannot fathom such tremendous willpower!! It truly boggles the nog...
That is from when my memoirs were serialized in Cosmo. Even though it IS about me, I didn't pose for the illustration (believe it or not). So I'm curious about this gentleman's gesture. According to the caption, it means "Are you by any chance free to take dinner with me tonight?" but I wonder...looks like somethin' else. Well, whatever it means --she /I look(s) intrigued...
Even more puzzling is HER behavior. The caption quotes her as saying "Slap me--good and hard" WTF?? Does it not occur to her that a dude in this get-up (neckerchief? loafers sans socks??) might not be capable of the good, robust slap she requires...
But what I love the mostest here is this caption-- "It's hard for a man to love a woman after she's clouted him with a bung starter!!" Ok, ok, I realize a "bung starter" is obviously a mallet for the pounding in of a cork into an old timey barrel keg. But I can't help but snicker. I suppose it comes from having watched too much Beavis & Butthead in my formative years. If there's one thing I learned from my years of B&B viewership, it's that if you do not get the TP urgently needed for your bunghole, you're apt to fall prey to the dreaded POLIO of the BUNGHOLIO. I mean, all polio is bad, certainly, but bungholio polio... jinkies. I can't.. I can't even begin to... damn.. it's just unspeakably horrid..
Anyways, "clouting by bungstarter" is my new favorite threat. I've long favored "I shall GRIND YOUR BONES to MAKE MY BREAD!" which I appropriated from the Giant from Jack & the beanstalk fame. And--don't get me wrong-- I still adore that one. I'd just hate to overuse it. So, today if someone cuts me off in traffic I will holler "You f****er! I shall GRIND YOUR BONES to MAKE MY BREAD!" but tomorrow, when some customer schmuck is rude to me on the phone I will growl "Why I oughtta clout you with a bung starter, you miserable bastard" (with Mr Customer muted or on hold of course ) You gotta mix it up, keep it fresh, y'know??
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