I called Laura to wish her a happy birthday today. I asked her how her birthday was going thus far, and from her sardonic delivery of "Greeeeat." and the loud caucophony of kids (@ home with a snow day today)in the background, I could tell it was just another nutso day at the asylum. I tried to cheer her with the thought that she shares a b-day with Laurence Maroney, who can't be having that hot of a b-day either, having just lost the Superbowl and all. Also born on Feb 5: Bobby Brown. Now he may be having a great birthday ...or maybe not...either way odds are good that he'll be arrested today so you can certainly count yourself lucky to not be that Feb 5 trainwreck. Heeey, y'know that lecherous hogger Daniel Baldwin has vacated his bed at the Celeb Rehab manse... and that just might be the perfect birthday gift for ol' Bobby-- mandatory committal.
So, anywhoo, this weekend...lemme recap...
Friday: work, ordering out from Applebees, ice stormy goodness, home to hibernate.
Saturday: I slept in, took my mom out to Market Basket grocery shopping [while at Market Basket , I was nearly killed by some ocular daggers projected at me by some store manager schmoe who overhead me kvetching to my mom. Ok, so I was kvetching quite loudly, but still ..I wasn't effing talking to HIM. It wasn't even a full-fledged kvetch, it was just a minor quibble. I was overcome by this funny whim to do Seinfeldian ranting about their weird aisle signs ("Whaat is THE DEAL with these aisle signs !!??") Their aisle 6 sign read "AISLE 6: Bread/ Cookies /Crackers/Chips/Oyster Crackers/Saltines" And I was all "Can they not give us credit for being able to deduce that saltines & oyster crackers--as they are TYPES OF CRACKERS--just might be in the same aisle as 'crackers'? Sheeesh..why not list 'graham crackers' and 'Ritz crackers' on the sign??" Anyways the store lackey didn't say anything to me but he looked quite displeased that I was disparaging the Market Basket signage.]
After Market Basket and a late dinner at Pizza Hut, I commenced to crafting some victuals for Sunday's Superbowl party @ casa de Jill y Billiam.
Sunday: After mass and a brief layover at Laura's, I drove to Vergennes for Jilly & Bill's S-bowl soiree . Schmoozed with some fabulous people, ate some delish eats, oh..and there may have been some sporting event on the TV (the latter was less satisfying). Anyways, I had me an excellent time...during the party.
Now, I'm grappling with a touch o' residual guilt because I'm reviewing my Superbowl Soiree deportment and have judged it lacking. I was not the best of guests...sure I brought food & beer, but I'd wager I consumed most of both. I was adequate company (well..adequate upon arrival..upgraded to "good company" after 2 beers...but then downgraded somewhat after ingesting the better part of a six pack and succumbing to that hyper-loquaciousness that tends to accompany my tipsiness) Worst of all, I was not so helpful a helper...sort of a loafy mooch, actually...and my momma done taught me better than that!! I even remembered , about a half hour into my trek homeward on Monday, that I think I left behind a dirty coffee mug, I was so addlepated and groggy..eager to make it back home in time to meet Laura for lunch. Well, I definitely DID leave it, I say I think I left it behind, only because I departed before Jill's cousin Ben, and he seems an upstanding sorta dude (a good deal more thoughtful than moi, I'll wager) and so the offending mug might not have been there when my hosts returned home. If not...thanks Ben!
I'm temporarily withholding my Jill/Bill thank-yous...I think I am going to mail a card. I'm always so charmed when I receive Thank You cards and yet, sadly, I NEVER send 'em out. I believe I may have something within my stationary arsenal suited to the occasion...
For most of the drive home on Monday I was consumed with worry over this continual chirping noise coming from somewhereabouts in my Taurus's innards. Actually, when I refilled my windshield washer fluid I was looking right at where the noise seemed to be issuing from, and I am pretty sure it is a belt (some kind of belt) that is chirping away. Why is it belts chirp? Dirt? Moisture? Because they don't know the words? (Haa!) Well, whatever the reason, it was all my ears could focus on as I rocketed southward on I89. It was diverting me from some choice tunes too. I kept thinking "It can only chirp for so long, and then it's just going to SSSNAP! in two as I'm going 70 mph down the g-d interstate. And what happens when a belt snaps when you're zipping along at such speeds?" Every scenario I played out in my head invariably culminated in fiery wreckage. Oy..
But then, around Sharon (3/4 of the way home) the chirping STOPPED suddenly. But then when I took exit 20 for W Leb it started again, was quite loud as I tooled around W Leb and remained chirping for the remainder of the day. As for today...hasn't made a peep. I am oscillating between concern and dismissiveness and perhaps I could settle on one if this syptom wasn't so fucking intermittant!! GarrrrgrrrrDAGNABBITALL TO HELL!
I need some kind of KITT-like car that will just explicitly TELL ME what the frig is ailin' it. Well, as long as we're dreaming up tall orders, lemme further stipulate: I want my car to have a British accent. But a hot British accent -- perhaps somethin' Clive Owen-ish ....NOT all squeaky and priggish like David Beckham(sorry Becks, but your audio just does NOT synch up right with your magnifico visual).
You know... there's some totally LAME lookin' Knight Rider movie coming up on NBC this month. I'm curious as to who's doing the voice of KITT. I'm pretty sure Mr Feeny is still alive & kickin' (not kickin' so high or all that vigorously at his advanced age , but y'know...still amongst the living anyways) and he's apt to be lookin' for work too. As much as I'd want my talking car to be British I think it'd be nice for the producers of Nouveau Knight Rider to throw Feeny a friggin' bone. Am I right or am I right?
I feel pretty certain they opted to take KITT in a different direction (though I shall hasten now to IMDB to be sure of it...)
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