Reading habits of yore

As a young pup, I was not one to pick up a Sweet Valley High book. I remember them being ridiculously popular but..nope, I never read a one. I didn't read the Babysitter's Club books or anything like that either. But what I was MAJORLY into was Christoper Pike books. From 5th grade through..I dunno, probably 10th grade, I voraciously devoured every Pike book I could git my mitts on.

For some odd reason tonight...I am wanting to know where the hell all my Christopher Pike books are. I wish to reread 'em. Maybe not ALL of them...but several. I sense that I'drecall by looking at the covers, which ones I liked the best. Y'know, I'm sure they're *somewhere* @ the parental casa. They's maaad packrats. But see, they're apt to be in the attic and I am kinda skittish about perambulating about up there. I have nightmare visions of my falling through the ceiling a'la Clark Griswold in Christmas Vacation (although it wasn't all that nightmarish when he did it)

I found myself browsing through the Pike offerings on Amazon. It would be utter frivolity of me to buy most of these titles. Although I did see a circa 1997 title that I never got (promptly added to my wish list**) Quite the conundrum I gots-- I wanna reread most of these, can't buy them (in good conscience) and would rather not ransack my folks' attic for 'em. This might just move me to get a library card (as I've been meaning to do for, ohhh, about a decade now)

I do NOT like the new covers on the reissues of these novels. I think the covers I had, the oh-so 80's covers with the splashy neon writing, are VASTLY superior. But let us have a look, shall we? And you be the judge...

THE OLD STYLE COVERS--

SOME NEW STYLE COVERS--

the re-issue covers above are just HORRIBLY tepid. However, there were some re-reissues done by some other artist (below) that I kinda did like. (still prefer the original cover though...but I may be sentimentally biased)

3-2-1 CONTACTS

So I'm now a bona fide contact lens user. I had to have *TWO* sessions of what they call "fit & dispense" where the optician...optometrist...opthamologist (I don't f***ing know!! ONE of the above...) debriefs you on the wear &care of your contacts and then coaches you with insertion and extraction. Dr D. put in my lenses first (during session 1 on Wednesday) and then I sat for over an hour with this "contacts coach" in front of a magnifying mirror (and, by the way, how great are those things for wrecking one's self esteem? My dry skin made my face resemble the surface of a Drake's fruit pie --you know the ones I mean. My hair was looking a mite greasy that closeup. Add to all that that my whole already ginormo head was magnified X10) So in like, an hour and 15 min (roughly) I was able to take the contacts out, put them in, and take them out again. Yep, I was a wee bit skittish with the pokin' at my eyeball with my finger thang. I was SEVERELY flinchy/blinky. I was doubly frustrated...for myself and also Iwas empathizing with "coach". I imagine it was downright painful watching my snail-slow progress. And after all that, they wouldn't let me go home with 'em..deciding that they could not, in good conscience, release me into wild avec contact lenses without one more lesson.

That second session was this morning and I am very much improved. I'm still a li'l slow, but growing more comfortable. I'm a lot better at taking 'em out than putting 'em in for some reason. I wore them for four hours today. Tomorrow I'm to have 'em on for 6 hrs...then 8 hrs on Sunday...10 hrs from day 4-7. Then I have a quickie 15 min appt with the doc so she can peer at my contacts-clad peepers and make sure I haven't sprouted some grody eyeball rash or some such malady.

I don't know that I'm going to be a full-time wearer of contacts. I'm undecided. I basically wanted 'em for those occasional occasions where I do a boffo job at my make-up (so that my glasses don't detract from said boffo make-up artistry) and for the summertime...so's I can rock a pair of cool cheapie shades. I mean, I did get new glasses too (picked those up on Wednesday) and they ARE daaaamn foxy.

WOOO-HAA

Fo'get that email I was gonna compose, dudes. I just got a call for my 2nd interview. It's goin' down Monday at 10am.

Yippy skippy!!

trying to compose...baah

I am presently trying to write this "Thank you for your time/ it was nice meeting you/ interview follow up schpiel" email but everything is coming out too smarmy and/or hokey. AAARRGH. I might just give up altogether.

Somebody please write this for meeeee (waa)!

Extry! Extry!!

I gots news to impart.




First off, I promised I'd make with the 411 on Monday's DHMC interview, and (as I skipped on posting yesterday) I've yet to make good on that promise.


I think it went really well. I am reluctant to say that, because I am weird superstitious and always suspect I may jinx myself if I'm too self-congratulatory. But truthfully, I just regret that it was sort of a pre-interview and not THE interview. 'Cause it felt like I nailed it. But this interview was just with the HR dept and then she's going to submit my name for 2 different clinical secretary gigs and that would lead to another interview with the supervisor for those specific positions.


As I said before, the hospital is NOT my dream job (but this is f*cking git a JOB !! crunch time...not "follow my bliss" time) but it does have some sweet, sweet bennies attached. So I'm REALLY looking forward to hear back regarding a 2nd interview.


I also applied for some stuff at Dartmouth College, specifically at the University Press & the Hopkins Center. The Hop sent me a letter to simply acknowledge that they are in receipt of my application and are still in the early stages of hiring but uhhh.. STAY TUNED!! Laura thinks I should really jump @ the Hopkins gig, and yeah I'd like that, but she said I should respond to the letter. Which I think is nerdy and overkill. Or nerdy overkill. Y'know?? It would go somethin' like " Dear Sir/Madam...writing to acknowlege your acknowledgement...yadda yaddaaa....so damned enthusiastic about this opportunity...blah blah blaah...think I'd make such a STELLAR addition to your team...blahdee blaah...PICK ME! PICK ME! ..etc..closing comment...With Warmest Regards, SANDRA"

Yeeeahh, I'm not crazy about follow ups. I think I'll...not do that. However ... Andrea ( my interviewer from Monday) gave me her card with her contact info on it (including email address) and I was contemplating maybe emailing a quick "Thank you for your time" kinda email. I probably will do that. Andrea and I did have a moment of post-interview awkwardness though. Prior to leaving, I stopped off in the ladies' room and was washing my hands when she came in. I had this moment of indecision... do I acknowledge that this is a person I just met? Or do I respect bathroom anonymity? Because I feel that, contrary to what MEN think, women do not innately crave camaraderie in the can... not with people who are not already their friends anyway. So I wavered on this for a millisecond, but at last I blurted out "Hi again!" And Andrea was all "Hi" But I felt like mine had a geeky ring to it, as if there was some dorky "Pee here often?" implicit within my tone.And Andrea's "Hi" was cryptically terse, maybe only terse on account of her need to pee, but I was inclined to think it was in reaction to my dorkiness. Who f*cking knows. Regardless of this way-blown-outta-proportion mini-drama, I nailed the dang interview (*knock wood*) I don't think she's apt to yank me outta contention because I said hi to her in the bathroom...that would be tres unreasonable.

It's as if I live within a Seinfeld episode, sometimes. Seriously!!

I have to run to the Leddy group tomorrow and deliver them a copy of my birth cert. (consequently, I really hafta locate that tonight!!) I have been INSAAANE about procrastinating on that. I think I'm in like Flynn there. This (I should remind yous) is the job placement agency (job pimps) I interviewed with at the end of February. I haven't been so enthusiastic about a company pimping me out, and possibly pimping me out for a succession of temporary gigs. I would SOOO much rather obtain employment on my own. So although my procrastinating has been, like 80% due to my natural inclination to procrastinate, a small smidge of that was due to a reluctance to just fully hop aboard that Leddy train. But I think it's probably wise to have them as a sort of safety net. I know exactly what purse I left that birth cert. copy in. I just have to figure out where in the world that purse is. (with Waldo? Carmen Sandiego? Jimmy Hoffa?) Oh, speaking of long lost purses, I found one the other day (not the one I'm now needing to locate...obviously) and a lotta times I slack off about cleaning out purses when I transition to a new one and I'll just take the absolute essentials (wallet, checkbook, compact, lip balm, pad) and leave a lotta assorted crap behind (that doesn't *usually* include important documents, but uhh, there was that one time...) ANYWHOOZIE... found an old tan purse and it had quite a bit of makeup in it (no shocker there) and...a wee bottle of gin. Why the *&&%$#@ was I carrying around gin? I was simultaneously bemused & amused. 'Cause it IS kinda charming in an AbFab sorta way, right??

OK other news to dispense with... I have a BUSINESS TRIP in the not-so-distant future. I really don't know how I feel about it. Here's the email decree we got this a.m. I'm a-doin' a copy & paste because the whole image enlarging feature is SO fickle and I haven't the time to futz around, yo...
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

We need to have three CCA's from NH spend the week of April 7th in Denton. The travel will be on Monday and Fridays - spending 3 days in Denton to assist with the phones. I am looking for volunteers so that I don't have to pick. This is necessary to make a smooth transition. This is not really an option so the sooner I have volunteers the better. You do not have to worry about credits cards - we will take care of all the expenses.
Please let me know asap.
Thanks


************************************
Maggie L. *&$#@
Customer Care Manager
Thermadyne -West Lebanon
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Yeeeeah, first off... I don't know when or (more importantly ) WHY this was deemed necessary. It sounds like Nance-conceived bullshit to me. I don't exactly fancy the notion of facilitating my replacement either. It's kinda of like salt on a not-quite-healed-up wound, y'know?? There are many reasons I DON'T want to go (the notion of the flight makes me a bit nervous, for one) but 2 reasons that made me volunteer. First off, she sez "This is necessary to make a smooth transition" ..that statement sends me into the irrational panic of "could refusal give them grounds to withhold my stay bonus??" I've since decided that is unlikely... but it was probably my immediate 1st response to this memo. The 2nd thing that got me was the phrase "we will take care of all the expenses". It sort of disgusts me how very powerless I am to resist freebies. It's apt to get me in to trouble someday!! Like, if I someday go missing, you might want to see if some sketchy dude in a van was trolling the area, offering wine or treats of some sort. I'm prone to fall prey to that sort of thing. Or WORSE...I could wind up in one of those timeshare sales pitch sessions. AAAAGGH!!

So yeah , basically what happened here is the lure of free meals & travel totally overwhelmed my principle-based indignation. Also, if I want to continue to keep my folks in the dark, this trip means I'm going to have to outright lie (vs. just not say anything as I have been)

ohh and by the way...

.. I didn't *only* f*ck off today. I had a fairly constructive morning, what with my JOB INTERVIEW, and all.

I think it went well...I'm gonna hoard the details for posting tomorrow...

Ciao!!

Wondrous 3-D Technology

Another thing I was pondering today (and yep, this was one of the stops on the circuitous path that had me discovering Lancelot Link and the Evolution Revolution) was Viewmaster Reels.

It was my chosen banter fodder du jour-- a two parter question to anyone who would engage me-- a) Did you have a Viewmaster as a young pup? and if yes, then b) WHAT was your favorite reel/reels?? I remember a lot of my reels (Tom & Jerry, The Christmas Story, Huggabunch..) but without a doubt, my two faves were my 3 reel set of the Thriller video and my 3 reeler of King Kong (more specifically it was of the 1976 movie with Jeff "the Dude" Bridges & Jessica "Dwan" Lange) I remember finding both scary as hell, but I just couldn't get enough of 'em...

I was on the Viewmaster website (part of the Fisher Price website, as Viewmaster is an FP owned brand now..) and all the reels offered there are LAA-AME. (Dora the Explorer, Winnie the Pooh, UGH..witness for yourself the rampant lameness) So clearly, Viewmaster has , by this point in history, evolved into a strictly kid-stuff industry. But it wasn't always this way. I mean, my two faves from my childhood are not exactly G-rated, and from the Viewmaster reel related research I've done today it looks like they used to be popular as tourism propaganda, and also used as sort of comemorative newsreels. Anyways it saddens me that VM seems to be going the way of the dodo but considering the suckiness of the reel selection kids have nowadays it's no flippin' wonder...

Funny or Creepy? YOU Decide...

Don't EVEN ask. By some circuitous route or another, I just happened upon this. I am apt to happen upon such things. I just do.

Anyways.. watch and as you watch, ponder: funny or creepy? Which is not to say that "funny AND creepy" is not a feasible option. Could be funny AND creepy. What do you think?



Initially I was amused by this...the Ed Sullivan spoofing part of it was cute. But then we got into the "music video" and I started to feel...creeped out a little. Particularly during the close-ups of the keyboard---them hands! Ick! Is it weird that that weirded me out? Chimps are supposed to be cute right? This makes me think though that my stance on chimps is akin to my owl platform. Cartoon owls are invariably charming whereas real owls are damned creepy. It didn't occur to me until today that I may feel that way about chimps. On the other hand, I totally dug the one episode of BJ and the Bear that I saw. So why is that , huh? Have my feelings about chimps sooo changed with age (this ep of BJ&tB I caught was 10+ years ago) ?? Was the BJ&tB chimp exceptional in some way? OR was that chimp unexceptional, but the superhuman charisma exuded by Greg "CoolDad from My 2 Dads" Evigan overwhelmed and utterly blotted out any chimp-created creepiness???

The world...may never know.

Jeepers Creepers--where'd ya get THOSE peepers?

Yesterday I had an eye exam. I hadn't been to the eye doc in aaaages and have--for a while now--really noticed the need for a stronger prescription (nothing drastic like blurred/double vision, just squinting to read far-off road signs , that sort of thing) But I procrastinated like a champ (as is my custom). As it really is the very last minute now (with only about a month left on this health insurance that has the swell Vision Service Plan) I called for an appointment at the end of Feb (was going to go in March 5 but had to be cancelled due to a sick doc & had to reschedule).

So yeah, the big catalyst here is that I got me some HealthFunds to use up or lose!! I may just get a boob job or some gratuitous accupuncture.

Anyways.... about my eye exam. I passed. No signs of encroaching glaucoma or similar unpleasantness. I'm getting contacts AND glasses. I've always wanted contacts --mostly because I SOO miss buying cheap sunglasses off the rack @ Walmart. People always suggest either: get prescription sunglasses (I've done that before-- they ain't cheap and are never cute enough to be worth the $$) OR why don't you get Transitions lenses?? (Eww. NO. I prefer squinting, thank you.) But I suspect I may be too flinchy for contacts. I mean, you should've seen me seize up during the eye pressure test (where they blast a jet of air at your eyeball) we had to do like 5 or 6 do-overs. But --fuck it--I'm getting 'em anyways (see observation above re: Health Fund moolah) And I'm getting glasses with THESE Nicole Miller frames.

Oh and I got those eyedrops to give me ginormo guitarist-from-Limp-Bizkit pupils. They stayed huge until nighttime...I enjoyed that (gazing unblinkingly at people until they shudder with heebie-jeebietation)

Sometime after my pupils returned to normalcy, I watched the 3rd installment of TV Land's High School Reunion. I'm kind of addicted to that show. And generally, I avoid just those type of reality shows. Not sure why I got sucked into this one. Perhaps I am just abandoning all principles in my old age.

For Easter I'm going to do a fruit plate, make devilled eggs & stuffed mushrooms (which are kinda becoming my signature dish...that's another principle I'm being a bit fast 'n ' loose with...I've always been a big culinary experimentalist and consequently kinda anti-signature dishes.)

Also I'm going to help my Dad organize Easter egg hunts for the kids. For the past few years I've taken care of the older kids' (Seth & Chloe) hunt, and let him do the little girls' hunt. I always do these rhymey clues but I thought maybe this year I'd just write where the eggs are in secret code. Tell me if you think this code too tricky for a 8 yr old and a 10 yr old to crack--




So thatsa wassup for my long weekend. Oh, and Laura CONFIRMED that Brussels Sprouts are on the Easter dinner menu. Just por moi! Oh happy happy joy joy! I shall try & post again before Monday.

OHHH MONDAY!! That reminds me that I do have a snippet of news to impart in this otherwise lackluster post. OK bad news 1st.... In yesterday's mail I got a short little "letter" from that law office I interviewed at. I did the li'l quotemarks of sarcasm because it was so damn short it shouldn't even be dubbed an actual letter. More of a note really. To the tune of: writing to inform you we've filled this position, yadda yadda, but really enjoyed meeting you, blahdeee blaaah BLAH, we shall keep your resume on file..FIN.

So that's kind of a pissah. But (silver lining alert) I have another interview scheduled for Monday at 11am. It's for some clerical gig at DHMC. The thing about working at the hospital is... well it ain't my dream job (but see, in my best dreams I don't even have a job) but there's definite SECURITY in it (it's not at all a tenuous establishment like some of these small companies I've applied to) and the benefits are fairly kick-ass. Methinks I'll shall do some pre-interview cramming this weekend. That way I'll come off more polished -like and somewhat less stammery. Those poor bastards will be falling all over their poor bastard asses to gimme a job. Awwww yeah.

MOVIES...

I wanna see this movie. However, I figure that, like most movies I wanna see, this'll be out of the theaters before I get my arse in gear. I still haven't seen Evening (really wanted to see that last July; I did read a lotta reviews that were none too positive so I suspect the book was better. I really liked the book, btw)

Anyways I want to get out & see Pettigrew.. Truthfully my main reason for wanting to see it-- a silly reason, I confess-- is that I think Lee Pace is utterly adorable. I don't know why I didn't stick to watching his ABC show Pushing Daisies for the whole season....just dropped it for some reason. Nonetheless, Pace is tres cute. And in this movie he sports an English accent (sort of ) so, needless to say, that just amps up the hotness.

Other movies that I would like to catch if I can get my ass in gear & get out to a multiplex...

Be Kind Rewind

There Will Be Blood

Juno

28 Dresses (too late to catch that one, I think. Although, it might possibly be playing at one o' those cheap seats theaters, no??)

The Other Boleyn Girl

Strange Wilderness

Run Fatboy Run

Leatherheads

Nim's Island

Forgetting Sarah Marshall

Although it's not my fault really, if the theaters within a 100 mile radius of me generally play the most mediocre mainstream slop...

Oh..speaking of Forgetting Sarah Marshall, I was charmed by this scrap o' showbiz news. I already thought Jason Segel was the shit from his awesome job in Knocked Up. But this multiplies his cool quotient by like , a thou in my book...

Trainwrecks

I've been branded "BITCHY" today and I am more or less disinclined to defend myself. I'm just gonna roll w/ it. Yep, I'm a bitch..I ain't "playin' nice" today. Y'all just suck it up and deal.

It could be I'm merely crabby because I didn't get an invite to join up with Mel & Brit for dinner. What gives, guys? We usually have a grand ol' time when the 3 of us hit the town. I thought so , anyways. I mean, I always hafta drive but I'm kinda resigned to that.

OK in all seriousness, isn't that one of the more bizarro celeb gossip items you've heard? Certainly it lit up my internal WTF? neon sign.

Here's other celeb news that caught my eye... Thomas Jane arrested for DUI. I suppose there's no need to follow that there link...those 4 words sum up the situation quite capably, methinks. But if you *do* choose to use the link, you'll see that the folks o'er at Digital Spy have ransacked the archives for the least flattering, most schnockered looking pic of Jane ever snapped. I actually think he's a pretty foxy dude (and also have always kinda thought he married beneath him when he wed Patricia Arquette. I really shouldn't own up to that...I REALIZE how very catty that is of me) though not particularly in that photo.
Anyways, I always kinda think of the celebs that get arrested for DUI as falling into 2 different groups -- those in the "wild oats" stage of life that are sorely lacking in common sense and /or self control and celebrities whose lives are kind of in the shitter often attributable to their becoming culturally passe (or their having been culturally passé for some time....yes, I mean you GARY COLLINS) Ahh well, I suppose both groups could be classed under the broader "TRAINWRECKS" heading. I just never thought of Thomas Jane as being a trainwreck. I mean, I think he settled when picking out a wife, but probably he likes Patricia just fine. And the guy is a ways away from "A-list" but he gets pretty steady work. It could be that TJ is a SECRET TRAINWRECK. And/or I'm being presumptuous about the nature of the DUI and it's not a pasttime exclusive to trainwrecks.

Oh, what I like the best about Digital Spy's article is that it linked me to this item which makes me think that maybe it wouldn't be so bad to go public with my secret love for P Diddy. BRA and VO to you, Monsieur Diddy. I applaud you heartily.

This kinda makes me wish I was listening to P Diddy right now instead of Jay-Z. I gotta have somethin' of his on this ol' iPod...

Oh, speaking of the iPod....it accompanied me on a walk yesterday (it's utterly essential when I make those rare and trifling forays into the world of EXERCISE) And y'know how I said (when I was explaining my inclement weather playlist a coupla weeks back) how sometimes I think of music as scoring my life as if I'm somehow living in a movie ?? Well, so I'm briskly walking...briskishly...whatever... and by some providential shuffling of the Pod...Survivor's Eye of the Tiger starts in. Claaaaaassic. It made me chortle.

I figured out why all will-power abandoned me this past weekend. Don't know why I didn't realize it right off. 'Twas the flippin' IDES OF MARCH, yo!! I can't even be held accountable. It's bigger than me...bigger than all of us... some monster cosmic hoodoo. Ask Caesar---he'll tell ya. He'll f*cking tell ya!!

Ms Creosote

I totally pigged out this weekend. I am in dietary penance mode--big time.

First massive derailment--at Denny's on Sat night I split (in theory, I should've consumed 1/3 of the app, but I really think I took more than that) SMOTHERED CHEESE FRIES. These fries have melty shreddy cheese on top, while they are wallowing in a little swamp of goo-style cheese. Throw in a smattering of bacon flakes. And let us not forget the ranch dippin' sauce. OMFG it is RIDICULOUSLY DELISH. If loving Denny's smothered cheesy fries be wrong, then, fuck it, I don't wanna be right.

Yeeeeeaah, I know I'm trying to reform. I AM reforming. But I shall have these again, ain't no doubt about it. I think I'll bring like, 12 other people to share with. That might make things a-okay-ish.

Then Sunday I went over to Lisa's for a St Pat's Eve corned beef feed. Specifically that entails: corned beef, cabbage, turnip, carrots, potato, beets. Oh, and a coupla beers. I think I consumed enough to feed all o' County Cork. So yeah, obviously, that was also off-tha-fuckin' hook yummy. I have corned beef once in March , every year, and every year it makes me think "Gawdaamn..this is GOOD. Why is it I only eat this once a year?"

sallllllllllllllllllsa

Itemizing my most recent purchases is my second favorite stand-by post (second only to celeb b-day tributes) when I am feelin' uninspired. So...lucky for y'all I went to TJ Maxx & Newbury Comics on my lunch break (or else I'd be apt to forego posting altogether!!)


At TJ Maxx I bought---


*strawberry shortcake Cookies (flavored like strawberry shortcake--entirely unaffiliated with the like-named fictional lass. These are for my Mom for her birthday. I have SUCH a hard time shopping for her. The only thing that is GUARANTEED that she will like & use is some sort of sweets/candy/baked good)


*Orka silicone tagine





*Pomegranate salsa (I am generally more of a guacamole w/ chips kinda gal...and still, I eternally adore guac, but I am deliberately embarking on a salsa kick. Why?? Wellll.. as of last week my sister hath dragged me back aboard the Weight Watchers train. Now that I am seeking out (rather than stringently avoiding)those HUGE "Nutrition Facts" areas of food labels, I am painfully aware of how not-so-great for me a lot of what I like to eat is. Oy freakin' vey, right? Anyways, there are a small group of comestibles that have the elite distinction of being enjoyable and being (more-or-less) healthy. Salsa would be one of 'em. Also I genuinely love cabbage. (seriously!) ya can't go wrong with cabbage. Oh... 'cept I was rushing in the grocery store the other week and accidentally grabbed a savoy cabbage instead of the regular green cabbage that I generally buy. I don't think the savoy would be bad raw (for slaw or on sammies or something like that) but it took extra long to cook and then it wasn't all that good. So let's just say instead, ya can't go wrong with green cabbage. Oh, and I love brussels sprouts. I haven't had 'em in too dang long. Methinks I shall cook some up for Easter dinner.


Anyways-- in summation: I'm trying to get myself hooked on salsa because it's --on average--0g fat and 20 cal per serving with--BO-HO-HONUS!-- 1 gram dietary fiber. SCORE!! (uuUGH.. one thing I really detest about this whole WW ordeal is how dorky and boorish it makes you. I mean my sister can rhapsodize on the point values of such 'n' such a snack for a good half hour before she realizes my eyes have glazed over and/or rolled back into my head. I mean...just because you're trying to slim down doesn't mean you should hafta morph into a conversational lameass. Really!)


* Body lotion-- H2O brand / grapefruit & bergamot; I really didn't need to buy this, as I just bought quince hand lotion at Bath & Bodyworks this past weekend. It's not as if I'm especially voracious about self-moisturizing. But I suppose I was just powerless to resist this scent combination. I love the smell of grapefruit (as for the actual fruit...I am less than fond of it) and love, LOVE, LOVE the smell of bergamot ( which apparently is derived from another edible citrus. I have never eaten a bergamot, so I couldn't give my opinion of that fruit) Oh, and this tube says "shimmering body souffle" Soooo frou frou, yes? Perhaps I got it to offset another recent Bath & Bodyworks purchase. I'm a bit sheepish about it, but last Sunday I bought their CO Bigelow brand hair and body wash. In their Barber line. The "Elixir Black" scent. Yep. I'm buying men's toiletry gear. The Elixir Black blend is described as "exotic agar wood and tonka bean with undertones of amber, musk and vanilla". C'moooon...does that not sound nice? Gosh, this way, when I'm daydreaming about my make-believe beau, I can just sniff at my own hair for an olfactory aid. DAAAMN, that sounds rather pathetic. Whatev. So, ok, FINE, I'm using man shampoo. It smells good and I like the whole 2-in-1 bodywash & shampoo combo. So eff you, a'ight?


* a book of appetizer recipes-- because "apps" are totally the best. Am I right or am I right?


And at Newbury Comics I picked up--

* a bracelet (for somebody else's b-day)


*a FREE St Patty's day pint glass, very kindly given to me by Newbury Comics even though I didn't *quite* meet the $10 purchase requirement (see coupon caveat below...)





I could only manage to spend $7.50 but they had mercy on me...

he's MEAN ; he's GREEN; his last name is short a "C"

Today in the office we got to (by some circuitous route) be talking about Mr. Yuck. If you've previously taken in any of my interoffice banter, than it shan't shock you to learn that this was not the first time we'd discussed Mr. Yuck.

I have reminisced (aloud, of course) about getting those sheets of Mr Yuck stickers in grade school, and how I used to utterly squander them. I didn't apply 'em to Drano or Windex or any below-the-sink poisons (as was intended). Rather, I would slap Mr Yucks on my Trapper Keeper, the door frame, my desk, my sneakers, etc etc. You get the pic, eh? TOTALLY ineffectual.

Well, me officemates didn't even know what stickers I was talking about. Not only were Mr Yucks NOT distributed in their school, but they never even heard of the guy. This left me compelled to prove his existence (thereby proving that I'm not hallucinating...this one. Hey, I know that I'm more-or-less sane, but at times I suspect that sanity of mine to be..uhh..less than obvious) So anyways, I dredged up Mr. Yuck's wikipedia entry *, his official website, and bestest of all, this awesomely scary PSA...

I discovered, as I was tracking down all this linky goodness, that Mr. Yuck actually, officially spells his name "Mr. Yuk". Sans "c". Notice I have refused to alter my spelling of it. That is a STUPID way to spell "yuck" and I shall NOT comply. In a semi-related vein...I also am vexed when I see "doughnut" spelled "donut" or "night" spelled "nite" and crap like that.

I wonder why the Mr. Yuk creators discarded the "c"?? I hope it was some worthy reason like trademark infringement and not somethin' asinine like too many kiddies were defacing the paraphenalia --y'know replacing the "Y"s with "F"s...hee hee hee..

*the link to the Mr.Y theme song at the end o' that wikipedia write-up is SO worth a click. The song runs on for-freakin'-ever!! It's like the "In-a-Gadd-Da-Vida" of PSA theme songs, but it cracks my shit up, maaan!!

Believe it or Not, aahhhm Walkin' on Air--I never thought I could feel so Free-hee-heee*

I just deleted a half-composed post from yesterday. I didn't really have much to say, and so I resigned myself to imparting a full list of all the songs I put on my iPod this weekend. Y'know -for lack of better yammering. But it was even more tedious to write than it woulda been for y'all to read, so I petered out around song #35 or #36 and saved it as a draft. But then when I logged in today , I was like..."Fuck it ,dude, nobody wants to read that. Let's start anew, eh?"

Yes, sometimes in my interior monologue, I call myself "dude". Not very polished, and pretty hoydenish of me, but I can't maintain my usual tremendous standard of demureness 24/7. OKAY??

I created another happy birthday MS Paint masterpiece today. For my boss. I KNOW!! Very uncharacteristically asskissish of me, right?? Well, we got free birthday pizza for lunch today and free pizza always gets me all out-of-sorts sentimental. Now today I had to go buy me a 20oz. Diet Coke from the vending machine, but in cases where I've had free pizza **avec GRATIS SODA** bestowed upon me,I am just off the fucking chain elated! I'm apt to start dry humping people in my glee.

Anyways, I wanted to say "Thanks for the pizza and oh yeah happy birthday bosslady". However , on some level, I still harbor this INTENSE aversion to "the man", and consequently an aversion to asskissery in all its guises, and so this task was a wee bit revolting to me. I was able to cope by choosing a hideously nasty mo-fo to be my birthday greeting ambassador. Remember the aye-aye anyone? I discovered this varmint back in January and was so struck with repulsed wonder that I immediately posted about him.

Well I had saved in my personal junk folders this pic--


Y'know for any occasions where I might need an image of some horrific freak-of-nature. Well it came in handy today, and I took our standard-issue aye aye (as you see above) and transformed him into---
RRrrrip didda dip dip dip dip Birfday Aye-Aaaaaye! 'Cept I omitted the "RRrrrip didda dip dip dip dip" part entirely 'cause Mags wouldn't get it.

Personally, I like the Birthday Narwhals much better.

This news item caught my eye. She'd given a ride to stoner hitchhikers?? Oh, three of them? Hmmm..how feeble is that story?? I mean, speaking of feeble, couldn't an old broad like this have tried playin' the glaucoma card?

Now what I'm addicted to these days is the new Chicken Florentine sub at Subway. Previously I had pledged allegiance to the Sweet Onion Chicken Teriyaki but I'm SO over that. Sweet Onion Teri--WHA?? The Chicken Florentine comes with ARTICHOKE SPREAD on it, fools! So order it the next time you hit S-way, 'kay? Otherwise, they'll pull it from the menu!! And I will be just...fuckin' inconsolable.

Ah, and to be *specific* in my recommendation, you ought to order it on Hearty Italian bread, lightly toasted, with the shreddy Monterey -cheddar on it, no condiments ('cept the standard artichoke spread) and lettuce, onions, and salt & pepper. Oh, and you should get the 12" with the intent of eating one 1/2 and saving the other for dinner or tomorrow's lunch but then you are so overwhelmed by the Florentinian yumminess that you eat the whole dang 12 footer in one sitting anyways. That's how I do thangs, anyhow.

I am also addicted to the Funny or Die website. Yep, after I send out my requisite 3 resumes and/or applications per diem (that's the minimum I set for myself. But I'm starting to feel the time constraints like they're a vice clamped on my stressed noggin...in other words I think I need to step it up a notch) I commence to streaming all the viral (non-porn) videos the 'net has to offer. Funny or Die has some quality shit on it. Today I was a bit obsessed with this video (which I really loved right up until the end where it descended into trite mastubatory humor...the slight smut factor is also why I am linking to & not embedding)

What I like the best (for some strange reason) is his observation re: socks. A very well written parody song, I thought. And the song kinda stuck in my head.


*FALSE. I am not, presently, walking on air. I am sitting on my arse. But I am sitting on my arse listening to my iPod which just began to play the theme song to Greatest American Hero. That tune is one of my new acquisitions from this weekend..was something Laura had on one of her CDs (so NO, I didn't *buy* it) I was kinda hoping that having that theme song would lead to me getting burnt out on it, and that would lead to my shaking this frightening compulsion to buy the 1st season DVD set of Greatest American Hero everytime I spy it in a store. That purchase--if ever I were to make it--might just break my record for silliest purchase ever. So I do know that's just LUDICROUS but still...I am so weak!!

Birthday Narwhals

Today is Robin's birthday. I totally spaced it and didn't have a card for her. HOWEVAH... I did 1/2 pay for her lunch at Yama's. No, I wasn't a cheap lameass who said "Happy birthday, buddy. How would you likey me pay for 50% of your lunch costs today??" Lisa picked up the other 1/2.

Also I made her the following Microsoft paint masterpiece.....


The "Rrrrrip didda dip dip dip dip" part is in reference to a catchy b-day ditty "Rrrrrip didda dip dip dip dip--it's your birthdaaay!" that I had been serenading her with all day. I stole it from this Dr Brule report.

For more about the MAGNIFICENT narwhal , check out this page. Narwhals are on my mind on account of listening to "Rock Lobster" this morning (they get a mention somewhere near the end of the song). They are truly rad beasties. Seems like they'd be mythical, or somethin' extinct from a million or so years ago, or just plain make-believe....BUT THEY AIN'T!!!

NAILED IT, BABY!

Not really.

I wouldn't say I "nailed" the interview, but I was pleased with my performance. It took me a while to--I dunno-- gain my "footing" but once I did, I think I was totally affable.

This Tracy that interviewed me was (thankfully) non-intimidating and seemed very down to earth. I think I totally charmed her. I get the feeling that the only thing that would preclude my snagging this job would be if someone came in who had loads of specific experience. Like I explained, I have a very solid foundation for the position-- am very comfortable on the phones and with people, handy with computers, familiar with all the standard guts of officework...I have never worked in a law office though. It's something that intrigues me, and I am definitely willing to learn, but I don't have experience specific to the field.

I kinda faltered on her first question, which was the ol' fave ( the monstrously broad) "So.Tell me about yourself." Why had I not mentally prepped for that one? That was TOTALLY predictable.



At the end of the interview, I'd grown comfortable enough to joke and I said "You know I was all set for you to ask me what I thought my greatest weakness is. Interviewers ALWAYS ask that. So I'd had something all prepared. I'm so disappointed." And she said "Oh...what would you say is your greatest weakness then?" And I said (pretending to think about it) "I'd saaaay...I'm too ...devastatingly gorgeous. And it makes people automatically underestimate my intellect. So that's been a real burden. " (then after a pause said) "well I think the popular tactic is to talk about an asset and then 'spin it' like it's some kind of weakness. And EVERYBODY says they're a workaholic. So I thought I'd do a new variation on that old trick and came up with the devastatingly gorgeous thing." She laughed at the appropriate juncture, which was a good indication that she realized I was speaking in jest. But yet...she scribbled something down on her legal pad. Now if she's planning on passing that along to the big boss man somethin's apt to get lost in the translation (the gleam in my eye, the irreverence in my tone, etc) and the dude's gonna think I am overly confident in my own aesthethetic merits and/or a certifiable nutjob.

On the JOB HUNT front...

I have an jobby interview at a law firm tomorrow morning. At 7:45 am which is fucking redunkulous. WHY did I agree to that time? I 'spose I want to fool the powers that be into thinking that I am INDEED that bright-eyed bushy-tailed early bird sorta gal...and then if they be nutty enough to hire me, I shall reveal the quite contrary truth o' the matter soon enough.

When I had my session with Cindy-of-all-trades, she was talking about interviews, and how they have changed in recent years to a "behavioral" model of interview. By that she means they root around for specific anecdotal examples that illustrate what kind of worker you are. For example, she said a popular interview question these days is "Tell me about your biggest mistake". My friend Roxanny actually told me (during our lunch pow-wow this past weekend ) that she had that exact question on an interview on her last job hunt. She said they added to the question "..this can be in your professional OR personal life..." Oh you do NOT know me like that, Vern!! That just smacks of wanting to delve into you's personal life too early on in the relationship. I wish I had the chutzpah to counter that question with the most UNCOMFORTABLY personal reply ever, just to teach that bastard interviewer a lesson. Got 2 possible answers to that question "on deck" in my noggin (the most subversive part of that noggin)--

INTERVIEWER: What do you think (dramatic pause) was your...GREATEST MISTAKE? This could be in your professional. . or personal life. . .(meaningful stare)
MOI: "Well just last month actually, I had that abortion. And I don't really regret the procedure so much--I mean, I just could NOT give up my Marlboros-- but I kinda wish I tol' Delroy about it beforehand, because I'm like 60% sure he was the daddy and I dunno, I kinda owed him that courtesy, I guess. After all, he IS family"

[They might doubt the truth of that one though, when I uncontrollably lapse into a southern accent]

INTERVIEWER: What do you think (dramatic pause) was your...GREATEST MISTAKE? This could be in your professional. . or personal life. . .(meaningful stare)
MOI: "Oh DEFINITELY that was when I killed that hobo. I'd say about 5 years ago, that was. And I mean, I hadn't--at that point -- killed anyone before. So I was rather sloppy. Pretty sure I left some DNA at the scene. But y'know I think of that more as a learning experience, not really as a mistake. Because it did help me become a better, more efficient murderer. Oh,yeah, I've been MUCH more fastidious on subsequent kills..."

So yeah, I'll be sure to let youse guys know tomorrow how everything went...will letchya know if they ask THAT question (and if I opted to go completely unhinged on 'em)

There's All Kindsa Other Wines. ..Peanut Nore...

I've been in a wine-swillin' mood ever since Valentine's Day. Oh, and uhhh impending unemployment didn't help matters.





Anyways the other weekend I found myself in Shaw's in the wine aisle (yep.. "found myself " there. I just woke up from a fugue state and I was in the wine aisle of my local grocers. No clue as to how I got there. No clue as to why I was wearing a heavy flannel shirt with poodle skirt. It was like some 50s lumberjack disguise...so weird that I soon forgot the initial weirdness of inexplicably winding up in the wine aisle**) I was totally immersed for a while in browsing, admiring the various "packaging" (for lack of a more refined term) Even if I didn't enjoy drinking it, a bottle of wine is a thing of beauty. And I know next to nada about wine, ( I know a few that I dig, but I'm sure as hell no sommelier, a'ight?)so 90% of the time I'm choosing based on what label I think is the foxiest.



Anyways I was intrigued by the packaging on this German wine called Gewürztraminer (although the particular bottle that bewitched me was not exactly German...made by Fetzer winery right here in the States...CA.) and I was enthused (downright titillated) to try a wine I'd never before had (never even heard of, actually) So, yeah, anyhoodle, short story long, I SO recommend the Gewürz. It is DELIGHTFUL. I haven't put away vino like that since my Boone's Farm days. Ha ha just jokin' there...(or AM I??)



This post topic has got me thinking of Python's Australian table wine skit, which, sadly, is one of maybe 3 things in the universe that is missing from YouTube. I mean, I don't think they ever filmed it, it was only for one of their albums, but I thought some eager fangeek might have posted it , dubbed over a slideshow of sundry wine bottles or somethin' like that. I did, at least , find a transcript of the skit...it will hafta suffice but really it's much more comedic when you hear it rattled off by Eric Idle.

**this entire parenthetical tangent is FICTITIOUS

Memories, if you know what I mean, Vern

I was musing the other day over how clearly I remember the opening theme music to Hey Vern, It's Ernest. I mean, the show ran for a year, tops. And I certainly didn't watch as much Ernest as I did Peewee's Playhouse. But somehow for 20 years I've had this song locked securely in my noggin. The mind is kooky territory, amigos.

Aside from this theme song, I've never been able to shake the compulsion of always wanting to follow up the phrase "you know what I mean?" with "VERN". Furthermore, I feel at times a yen to just call people "Vern" in general (people who are not named Vern) I find myself wanting to rent an Ernest movie. How many did he make anyways??

This morning's fixation (sparked by my desk calendar's mention of Davy Crockett dying @ the Alamo* on this day back in 1836) was comparing the relative merits of Daniel Boone, Davy Crockett & Kit Carson. At this point in my research, Daniel Boone seems the awesomest of the three. He saved his daughter Jemima and a gaggle of her little friends from an Injun war party that had kidnapped 'em. That is SOO boss, eh? So why the hell doesn't Boone have a ballad about him? It's redunkulous bullshit!

*I actually don't remember the Alamo, but I know this much: there is NO BASEMENT @ the Alamo!!

Automat

The freedictionary article of the day today was on automats. I totally wish we had automats around here. I'm kind of smitten with them..

What You Like to do Today can Help you Find a Job that Pays- PLAN IT!

Today I met with a nice lady HR had come in to talk with me.

Ha, ha..I just put it like that 'cause it sort of infers that she came wielding a syringe and straight jacket. No, she was not one o' the white coats. She was a "job placement consultant" and she met with all of us.

She --Cindy-- was quite nice and seemed very helpful. Still, I wish HR had "splurged" and brought in the granddaddy of all job placement gurus. Of course, I'm referring to Zack of all Trades. We could have held this sort of group session with Zack--

Yeah, that was dope. I think I coulda really benefitted from that.

(for more Zack in action...go HERE and witness him decimate & humiliate that mean ol' Future Blob)

the Inclement Weather Playlist

Now that I have an iPod dock in my car, I have created and put into action the terrifically handy "Inclement Weather Playlist" It used to be my practice, when driving in foul road conditions, to put in some kind of Broadway compilation CD. But since I have the Taurus (with NO CD player) I have been (or had been) at the whim of whatever was playing on the radio. But no longer. I now have the aforesaid "Inclement Weather Playlist" which is primarily showtunes, but also with a dash of lighthearted easy listening thrown in.

Here is my silly reasoning behind this ritual of mine....

I'm looking at my life as if it were a movie. I'm thinking... if I were to score a scene of some terrific fiery car wreck---what sort of music would I use? Angry thrashy death metal would work in that regard...also super dramatic thundery classical (think Orff's Carmina Burana ) Conversely, it doesn't seem like anything bad can transpire with the main theme to Oklahoma! as its soundtrack. It just wouldn't sync right, y'know? Get what I'm saying, Vern? Anyways, this same idea extends to all the songs chosen for the inclement weather playlist, and it just works out that the bulk of these cannot-possibly-be-the-soundtrack-to-anything-awful songs are showtunes. With (as I said) a few lighthearted easy listening tracks. It has also occurred to me that nothing bad can happen to "Whoomp! There it is!" but I have yet to add that to the playlist.

Here is that playlist. Not really in this order since I've always got it playing in "shuffle" mode. I have put a * next to songs I heard on this morning's commute (because it was crappy freezing rain this a.m. and I availed myself of the I.W. Playlist...hence it being on my mind..)

1. All I Care About * (from the Chicago soundtrack--the movie, not the show.. Richard Gere vocals)

2.Roxie (Chicago movie soundtrack/Renee Zellweger)

3. Mister Cellophane (Chicago movie soundtrack / John C Reilly-- he was awesome in this movie...totally the cat's jammies in most everything he does..but methinks I shall forever think of him as Dr Steve Brule now. LOVE you, Dr Steve!)

4.Razzle Dazzle* (Chicago /Richard Gere)

5.Heigh-Ho (dwarf chorus from Snow White)

6.Let's Go Fly a Kite (Mary Poppins soundtrack)

7.In the Jailhouse Now (O Brother Where Art Thou? movie soundtrack/ Tim Blake Nelson. He actually did his own singing in the movie, y'know. Tim Blake Nelson is one of the "Unsung Awesome" . By "Unsung Awesome" I am referring to this categorical heading in my mind where I file people (Tim Blake Nelson for instance) who I judge to be thoroughly awesome but in a below-the-radar way.
Anyways, I absolutely love O Brother & have probably seen it 50 or so times but I never fail to crack up when Nelson is yelling into the toad's face going "PETE-- IT'S ME DELMAR! IT'S ME DELMAR!" Soooo f***ing terrific!! I also have this movie Cherish that he was in. It's this obscure-ish indie from a few years back . I dig it. It's at least worth a rental... so put it in your g.d. Netflix queue..like now, bitch.)


8.I Am A Man of Constant Sorrow (O Brother Where Art Thou? movie soundtrack / Soggy Bottom Boys; I love this song even if it is rather "country-ish" and I love-LOVE the Soggy Bottom Boys even if they don't have the dryest of bottoms and happen to be fictional)

9.There Once Was A Man* (Pajama Game/Broadway soundtrack) I was so loving this this a.m. It's probably my favorite song from that show...and P.G. has beaucoup awesome songs in it!! I just had to hit YouTube and provide you with the following..







Forgive me...it plays a bit choppily but I couldn't find anything w/ better quality. You know how sometimes when you think of certain songs the same snippet of lyrics invariably pops into your noggin? I mean probably for most songs you think of the titular lyrics or the chorus, but for some songs just this arbitrary couplet stands out to you? For instance, you say "Hotel California' and the bit that drifts through my mind is "..stab it with their steely knives but they just can't kill the beast!" (dark, I know) Anyways for the song "There Once was a Man" the "Standout Line" to me is "It rocks my whole solar plexus, it's bigger in Texas". Cunning rhyme, that. How can ya not love it??

10. I'm Not at All in Love ( Pajama Game -Broadway soundtrack)

11. Steam Heat (Pajama Game -Broadway soundtrack)

12.Hernando's Hideaway (Pajama Game -Broadway soundtrack)

13. Try to Remember (from some Broadway compilation or another/ it's from The Fantastiks, which I have never seen. But this song is just really sweet somehow, and I've always really loved it. I have the best version ever-- sung by the late Jerry Orbach (Dr Houseman from Dirty Dancing. Oh and, speaking of Dirty Dancing alum, I was deeply saddened to read THIS)

14. She Loves Me ( from some other Broadway compilation/sung by Daniel Massey. This is from the show "She Loves Me" which I've never seen but I do know it's based on The Shop Around the Corner (a terrific movie...which I own..it's set in Budapest, you know. I would love to check out Budapest. In sort of relevant news, I made chicken paprikash for dinner tonight) so I get the basic plot. This particular song is pretty comical. Also in this musical there's some song about the library that I'd like to download.

15.Consider Yourself (from some Broadway compilation/ this is from "Oliver!" (duuh) I actually have the entire, excellent Oliver soundtrack but I can't find it. I have a CD wallet that is MIA and the only CDs that I am certain that are in there {& consequently MIA with it} is the Oliver! soundtrack and the equally rad Music Man soundtrack. Such a pisser!!)

16. Happiness (from some Broadway compilation/ from the musical "You're a Good Man Charlie Brown" KICKASS!! We learned this song in music class in grade school and I KNOW one of the lines was "Happiness is...finding your skate key" I remember this distinctly because even back in the mid 80s all us kids were like: "Skate key?? What the @#$%@ is a skate key??" But strangely,this skate key line is not in this recording of "Happiness". Oh, yeah and speaking of keys... I watched The Skeleton Key tonight (am I or am I not the queen of the damn segue??) It's definitely worth a look. The absolute CREEPIEST damn thing was that record. Yyyikes!! That alone might gimme dem bad cartoons*! I need ta work some hoodoo spell against da bad cartoons!!)

17. Coconut (Harry Nilsson)

18.The Trolley Song ( sung by Judy Garland--from Meet Me in St Louis; I have never encountered an actual trolley firsthand, but I know if ever I do, I shall fully expect the thing to CLANG)

19. The Best Things in Life are Free (June Allyson from Good News)

20. Let's Face the Music & Dance (sung by Fred Astaire in Follow the Fleet; I have another version elsewhere on my Pod that is performed by Nat King Cole. I like that one lots better... I should put that on the I.W. Playlist...)

21.There's No Business Like Show Business (from Annie Get Your Gun ; this one's from the movie musical with Betty Hutton. Ethel Merman was the quintessential Broadway Annie Oakley and.. well, don't get me wrong -- I love Ethel. But if any voice is going to send me careening into a ditch, it'd be Ethel Merman's-- nothing soothing about that broad.)

22.Puttin' on the Ritz (Clark Gable; No idea what movie he sang this in. I've always loved this song..ever since I first heard it {Taco's version, back in the 80s} I am particularly fond of THIS rendition of it)

23. Give My Regards to Broadway (Joel Grey; from some musical or another. I don't particularly like his voice. It's kind of cackly and fey...which works well when he sings "Wilkommen" but I don't like it here. Hey, I don't want to disparage Mr Grey. He did an ep of The Muppet Show and any Muppet Show special guest star is a-okay in my book. Plus, he couldn't be all that fey in the sack.. he did, sometime in the 60s beget Jennifer Grey. Jinkies, I can't seem to shake this inadvertant Dirty Dancing motif my blog has developed today
"Give My Regards.." would be my 2nd favorite song about Broadway...the first fave being "Lullabye of Broadway" which I love. I dig this one too--though maybe not so much the Joel Grey version. 3rd ranked would be "On Broadway" by George Benson. That one only made rank because I only know 3 "Broadway" songs**. I actually dislike that 3rd one. I can't say why precisely, but it irks me.)

24. Anything You Can Do (from Annie Get Your Gun )

25.Diamonds are a Girls Best Friend (so, so true. Sing it, Carol Channing!!)

26.The Lonely Goatherd (from The Sound of Music)

27.Edelweiss (from The Sound of Music; LOVE this song. This version is the one sung solely by Cap'n VonTrappe. Have I 'fessed up to having a mini case of the hots for Cap'n VonTrappe?? It's probably unnecessary to clarify that I mean here Christopher Plummer as the Cap'n and *NOT* the actual Cap'n. I've seen pics of that guy and ...mehh. Real life Maria certainly was no Julie Andrews either for that matter.)

28.Oklahoma! (from...GUESS which show?? You'll never ever guess..)

29.Getting to Know You (from The King and I)

30.Seventy Six Trombones (from The Music Man but ripped from some Broadway compilation-- see parenthetical rant for #15 . GRRRrrr! How I miss that damn soundtrack!!)

31.One (from A Chorus Line)

32. Camelot (from Camelot. The line I love best: "In short there's simply not/ a more congenial spot / for happily-ever-aftering than heeeere in Caaaamelot" The rhyme is pretty fierce, for uno thing. It's awesome how they verb-atized "happily ever after". Also I just plain dig the word congenial. Too bad there's probably beaucoup royalties to be paid to the estates of both Lerner and Loewe or else I would recommend appropriating it for some tourism propaganda. Can't ya just hear it in your head? "In short there's simply not / a more congenial spot / for happily ever aftering than heeeeere iiiin Pettis County Missouri!!" Right??

Another thing about this song... I am such a nerd, my word association reflex for the cue of "Camelot " is either "we eat ham and jam and spam a lot" or, even more often it makes me think "I. have. to . push. the . pram a loooot" (delivered in a deep bass of course)

*bad cartoons = nightmares That's what I've called 'em since age 3 or so, anyways.
** I since remembered the BeeGee's "Nights on Broadway" which I really dig and that would bump "Give My Regards.." outta the #2 slot. Also I am reminded that my beloved BeeGee's greatest hits CD is another one gone missing with that infamous MIA CD wallet.

epilogue on the door drama & miscellany

Last Thursday morning--when my door was failing to latch when shut-- was NOT an isolated incident, unfortunately. It happened again Thursday night, Friday afternoon, again Friday evening. Friday night I oiled up its innards and jiggled the guttyworks about with my brand new slotted screwdriver (consult a pro? Oh pishaw...whatever for? I'm ever so handy!) then left it alone. All day Saturday I entered & exited via the passenger's side door. Then Sunday after mass the door latched no problemo and it has continued to (knock wood) ever since. Perhaps there was a poltergeist inhabiting my door who tired of me dousing it with WD40. Or it could be that , fumbling around with my slotted screwdriver, I happened upon the elusive door Gspot and it will now do my bidding forevermore. Probably it was an issue of frozen guttyworks and the problem thawed itself out. See ? Do ya see in retrospect how needless of help I was?

Saturday was fun. I met up with Roxanny for lunch at "The Fort" (The Fort at Exit 18 is the full name o' the joint actually, it's this truck stop in Leb that's low on atmosphere but just boffo for cheap, yummy eats) and we ate and chatted and co-perused the want ads. I had the Monte Cristo which was *okay* but I kinda wish I'd gotten what she'd ordered-- poached egg, toast, and corned beef hash--which I wouldn't have ordered on account of my never having tried corned beef hash previously. I don't know why I was so reluctant, I'm nuts for corned beef & cabbage. I tried a bit of Roxanne's hash and it was MAGNIFICO.
Anyways, apres lunchie, we went to Queechee to the Antiques Mall and browsed around for a few hours. I picked up some old silver for my sister--namely, this oddball jam serving implement in a 1933 Oneida pattern called "King Cedric" and a spreader in a 1917 Oneida pattern that I can't recall the name of. It wasn't used silverware (which would be kind of icky) but just old lots that never sold. They had some really lovely patterns. I bought myself some clip-on earrings. Yep..clip-ons. Even though my ears are pierced. I like clip-on earrings though, for two reasons. Reason 1- They are becoming somewhat of a rare bird. Even rarer are the "screwback" style of clip-ons. I wanted to get me some o' them, but they didn't have a design I liked. Reason B- I find there's something inexplicably elegant in the gesture--seen in countless movies/ TV shows but never in real life--of slipping off your left clip-on earring just as you answer the phone. You've seen it right? I wanna wear clip on earrings just so's I can do that on occasion.

I'm no antiquities FIEND but I do like them. I feel that jewelry is the best kind of antique. I tried on a really lovely amethyst ring that looked to be from the '20s or '30s and it slid just to the knuckle of my ring finger . No dice!! Unless I wanted to wear it as a pinky ring (LAME..unless you're some kinda mob boss) or get it resized. I'm against the notion of resizing just 'cause I feel I'd rather leave the matter up to fate--in other words: if it doesn't fit, it wasn't meant to be.

Sunday I just hung out at my sister's house. 'Twas a rather unremarkable, low key day ...nada to report there.