1. Maya Rudolph is shacking up with PT Anderson?? Last I knew, Anderson was in a relationship with Fiona "THIS WORLD IS BULLSHIT" Apple (hmm, can't imagine why he'd split from a sweetheart like that) I guess this just stuns me because the media is so overrun with all this incredibly vital CELEBRITY COUPLE NEWS that it seems inconceivable that there could exist a celebrity couple that I am not aware of.
2. Check out that picture. This chick keeps the SNL make-up department in bidness, yo. That is not to be interpreted as me saying Maya Rudolph is ugly...this picture just reveals her to be far MOLEY-ER than she appears to be on my TV. I don't know if anyone can back me up on this, as I believe I am one of maybe 11 remaining loyal viewers of SNL. Well, anyways, in summation, to quote the honorable Mr Austin Powers: Moley, moley, moley, moley, moley! Guacamole, moley!!
3. One of the principle players in this saga is one Mr Frances Feeney. That's Frances.
Feeney. .....Francis Feeney. Teee hee heeehee
My sister gets all these catalogs for quality educational toys...I enjoy a good toy catalog. It definitely hasn't the literary merit of a J Peterman, but it's a waaay more entertaining read than a Cabela's. Anyways, she had such a catalog on her toilet-side table --some company called "Young Explorers". I was astounded to find this lowbrow bear (click on pic to check it out) amongst the offerings of enriching and educational products...
The "The Gas We Pass " book I can almost get. If you find it absolutely necessary to enlighten your kids on the "science of flatulence" then I suppose a "colorfully illustrated 28 page hardcover book" would be the route to go. But the bear? Please!! We are born into this world as hoggers, innately amused by flatulence. Kids really don't need toys that exalt/ encourage that kind of behavior. Oy. Save yourself 30 bucks (ok, $29.95 to be precise) and give your children a can of beans. You kids want fart-induced hilarity? Well, you might as well get a protein & vitamin B1 fix while you're at it-- chow down.
Speaking of bears.... apparently Teddy Ruxpin is coming out of retirement. I wonder how that is gonna work out, since I'm seeing this newcomer all over the place. I predict the tension will be tangible in the Walmart plush toy aisle, as Playskool ( who produced Teddy Ruxpin from the late 80s until his retirement in '96) is the company behind this TJ Bearytales wannabe chump. On to a younger and cuter model are you, Playskool? Oh, I know that tune. You BASTARDS.
No comments:
Post a Comment