Make with the tender happiness and frills, babe. And don't forget my pan!

I just read the loopiest thing--Scientology wedding vows. They do have that weird culty undercurrent to them that one would expect from anything Scientology-related, but for the most part, they give off a loopy Dr Seuss-esque vibe. They just silly...check 'em out...

The minister to the bride:
“And do you take/His fortune/At its prime and ebb/And seek/With him best fortune/For us all?/Do you?”
and then says to the groom:
“Now, (groom's name),/girls need clothes/And food and/Tender happiness and frills/A pan, a comb,/perhaps a cat/All caprice if you will/But still/They need them./Do you then/Provide?/Do you?”

the preceding was pasted direct from an MSNBC article. Anyways, I think it's when they get into the itemization of wifely requirements that the vows veer off into One Fish, Two Fish, Red Fish, Blue Fish territory. "A pan, a comb, perhaps a cat......a plaster gnome... a chartreuse hat"

Mostly it just makes me want to run out and snag me a Scientology stud. I've been wondering how on Earth I was going to acquire that pan I've been yearning for. Not to mention that comb I've been eyeing down tah the dollar store. Just think of all the copious loot made available if you sign up to become a Scientology wife. Not to mention tender happiness and frills and all that happy horseshit. Sounds much better than marrying into Mormonism, doesn't it??

So today is the birthday of Carl Ditters von Dittersdorf...who turns 267 years young today. Also born on Nov 2 (back in 1865) was this dude:

Doesn't he look like a MEAN bastard?? Well, I don't want to make any assumptions based on just one surly mugged photo, but still... sheeeesh. That's 29th prez Warren G Harding, by the way. And despite what this pic seems to indicate, the G does NOT stand for Grumpy nor Grouchy. The dude's middle name was "Gamaliel" Pretty snazzy, I thought. And just an FYI for y'all, I did not learn that from wikipedia, rather that is noted on the Presidents of the United States of America (Los presidentes de los Estados Unidos de America) plastic placemat I have hanging up on my cubicle walls. I love educational placemats. And I don't learn everything from wikipedia.

So I told mi amiga Robin that Harding's middle name was Gamaliel and she counter-educated me that that is a Biblical name...the name of some high priest in the Bible. She is quick with the Bible-smarts, that one. I've never heard of Gamaliel. But y'know Robin is a Baptist just like Warren G Harding was...so maybe the Baptist folk dwell more on obscure high priests than we Roman Catholics do. Whatev. I bet if the Jeopardy category were "Saints" I would kick her ass though.

I am going to mentally bookmark the name "Gamaliel" as a possible pet name or prized inanimate object name (y'know like how one might name their car or their wooden leg or something).

I watched the Thriller video on Yahoo music this afternoon. Not the same kick as having it come on the radio but it was a worthwhile diversion nonetheless. You know, compared to how MJ looks now... zombieMJ is a downright HOTTIE.