Wednesday, November 29, 2006

Greetings from HUMP DAY, where my lunch is stinkin' up the joint

Today's mid-day repast: a Lean Cuisine Lemon Pepper Shrimp Scampi meal. I tell you it was an entre of UTTER DISAPPOINTMENT. First off , I was seduced by the artful food photography on the box....and damn it, I should know better! The shrimps on the box look like mighty fantails, but the actual shrimps were wee little native shrimp-ettes, shrivelled up to the circumference of a penny. And the hue of the broccoli did not at all match the healthy, piney green of the box broccoli. And then the flavor--ugh-- I've had lemon meringue pie that wasn't so lemony. Where the hell was the pepper?? It was mucho grody.
And worst of all, the thing took 7 minutes to cook! What's the point of having microwave meals if they take that f***ing long to cook? That's 1/4 of the time it would take to make one of Rachel Ray's recipes... which are done with actual cooking techniques. If the government cannot establish laws to limit the amount of time a microwave dinner takes to cook, then I say the companies should print short stories on the boxes of any meal that has a cook time in excess of 4 minutes. Because that's a very long, dull stint, standing there, glaring at the microwave. It is NOT 7 minutes in heaven.
Ahh well, I think I will try to remedy the disappointment with a bit o' chocolate later. Am presently listening to "Night out with the Rat Pack" CD ...hearing Dino always buoys my spirits. Sinatra's the shit too (needless to say!) It's Sammy Davis Jr that I'm not crazy about. That's probably a deep-seated prejudice talking....byproduct of my sheltered upbringing. My folks never had anything nice to say about those people...with glass eyes.

I bought some really terrific Martha Stewart Christmas cards at Kmart the other night. I think this has to be the 1st year with Christmas cards offered in the Martha Stewart repertoire. Because if they'd had 'em in '04 or '05 I woulda probably got 'em in '04 or '05, they are really darling. I would have at least seen them in my browsing because every year I do a very thorough inventory of Martha's holiday offerings. (later..9pm EST-) I really like what Martha does with the differing motifs of holiday decor. She has..."Golden Traditions" "Sugarplum Dreams" "First Snow" "Evergreen" "Woodland Holiday" and...and...well, that's all I can recollect offa the top o' my nog. I think I'm leaving out 1 or 2. My favorite collections are "Sugarplum Dreams" & "Woodland Holiday". I'm sure most people mix & mash the different collections, but maybe her system guides some of the style-clueless masses toward creating a cohesive theme.
I ended my workday on a rather grumpy note. I wasn't severely stressed out, I think "frazzled" would be a more apt term for what I was. But Robin and Laurel were teasing me good naturedly--in an attempt to cheer me, I guess--but it was annoying the piss outta me. At one point I sputtered to myself "Goddamnit! It's continuously ONE issue after ANOTHER today!!!" And Laurel was compelled to remind me "Well, that's like EVERY day" Well, it's like a lot of workdays...but not EVERY day, so she wasn't completely right. But it made me think-- I DO have a lot of crisis packed work days that I'm able to shrug off / endure with good cheer. Why was today different?? Y'know what the root cause of it all was?? Laurel & Robin PREDESTINED me to be pissy today!!
I was told this morning I was in a bad mood when I wasn't. That never fails to set me off! Allow me to expound... I may say or do something kind of mock-curmudgeonly. Like, at times I will be sort of bitchy for fun but at core, I am in a truly fine mood. And then someone will say "Oooh, you're crabby today!" and I'll correct them :"No, actually I'm not". But then (this is where things turn sour) they'll reply "oookay!" But you know in that tone-- all sarcastic-like w/ their disbelief quite evident. And that response wouldn't vex me if I was actually putting on a happy facade and they saw through it...but if really, HONESTLY, I am happy and they gimme the "oookay!" ? GRRRR!! TAKE MY FUCKING WORD FOR IT!! I'M HAPPY, DAMN IT!! Is this my own unique brand of neuroses or is anyone else out there regularly vexed by others telling them that they are misdiagnosing THEIR OWN EMOTIONS?? So, I think the high road in this instance (I've heard of this mythical "high road" but have not had all that much firsthand experience of that route) would be to just concentrate on exuding a very undeniable happiness, ooze pungent glee from your damn pores, blow sunshine & rainbows out your ass to show how right you are about your good mood... this is not the course of action I usually opt for, however. I give an internal (sometimes not internalized) "Grrrr" and I think "Ok, you think I'm grumpy?? How about a shift to blackhearted ice queen? You will be begging the almighty for the sweet mercy of my grumpiness!!" So most of the afternoon I employed my very scathing, very mean SILENT TREATMENT. I know the silent treatment sounds like a pretty wussy method of being pissed off, but mine is TRULY fierce, the most lethal weapon in my passive aggressive arsenal. And Robin knows the silent treatment means the genuine anger has kicked in. I don't know why she kept needling me then. I feel like I ALWAYS make allowances for other people's funks but I'm not allowed one of my own.
Okay, kvetching over. I feel pretty much purged...and you know THIS made me feel surprisingly better believe it or not. (I recommend clicking-- a minute & 18 seconds of cheap therapy)

No comments: