You say it's your birthday? It's my birthday too YEAH

If I were a restauranteur, I would not shy away from the much maligned practice of serenading patrons who are out celebrating their birthday. This tradition embarrasses your customers and demeans the staff simultaneously...so yeah, very handy, I would definitely make it mandatory policy. I think I'd make the staff put on Ray Bans and have one of them hold up a boombox (Lloyd Dobler style) and blast the Beatles's "Birthday" and have them all sing along. And I want the volume up to 11. Off key shout-singing is a plus. And if anyone is found to be just mouthing the words, they will be fired immediately and publicly.

And here is that terrific birthday song that makes that lameass old timey "Happy Birthday to You" burn itself with lit birthday candles in fits of mad self-hatred...

You say it's your birthday
It's my birthday too, yeah
They say it's your birthday
We're gonna have a good time
I'm glad it's your birthday
Happy birthday to you

Yes we're going to a party, party
Yes we're going to a party, party
Yes we're going to a party, party

I would like you to dance (birthday)
Take a cha-cha-cha-chance (birthday)
I would like you to dance (birthday)
Ooo, dance, yeah I would like you to dance (birthday)
Take a cha-cha-cha-chance (birthday)
I would like you to dance (birthday)
Ooo, dance
You say it's your birthday It's my birthday too, yeah
They say it's you birthday
We're gonna have a good time
I'm glad it's your birthday
Happy birthday to you
Happy birthday to you


Altered Images's "Happy Birthday", also a good alternate birthday tune, although I would not have my hypothetical future waitstaff sing that one.

So yeah, it's mah birfday (go. go.go..go Shawty) and Halloween. If I don't hear Thriller or Monster Mash before midnight tonight, I just might throw a fucking tantrum.