meatloaf maaaadness!!

Adelphia has VH1 Classics as the free preview of the week. This is quite welcome indeed, after 2 weeks of the snooze-inducing Outdoor Network. However, last night on VH1 was Meat Loaf night. And NO, I am not talking about the ground beef entree, I adore that meatloaf. Apparently the only press coverage the upcoming Bat Out Of Hell III is getting (Bat Out Of Hell III? Seriously? Just how many bats are emigrating from Hell? Is it really so hard to come up with a different name??) is from VH1 Classics. But y'know the folks at VH1 Classics, God love 'em, they're doing a bang up job of promoting the piece of crap (or should I say...GUANO?? HAAAA!!) Last night they had an hour long interview with Mr Loaf hisself (aired twice ) and they also played a biographical TV movie "Meatloaf: To Hell and Back" . It seems I am a sucker for these VH1 biopics. This one I was compelled to keep flipping back to (during Nip/Tuck commercial breaks) just waiting on something--anything-- noteworthy to happen. I mean, at least the MC Hammer story had crack dealers shooting people and the dead skunk in the pool. I really don't see the necessity of a Meat Loaf biopic. I'm really straining the noggin and...nothing. I still don't get it. But if they had to make it (and apparently someone did) I think they should have named the movie "...But I Won't do THAT". That would've piqued my interest even before the opening shot flickered across my telly. I would think " Oh my! 'THAT' really is as freakydeaky and unmentionable an act as I'd theorized it was back in '92!! And it's going to be revealed at long last in this crappy VH1 movie! I absolutely MUST tune in!!" Oh, and the dude they got to star really looked a hell of a lot like Meat Loaf. So if the acting thing was a bust, he could certainly get work as a Meat Loaf decoy who protects ML from getting mobbed by overzealous fans (Oh no! We were actually accosting Tofu Loaf the whole time!! Foiled again!) HAaaa...as if that ever happens. Well, alternately, if Meat Loaf were taking classes in night school, but realized that this guy (henceforth referred to as Tofuloaf) is smarter than he is...then he could go in to class for ML during exams.

After the movie they played a video for "Paradise By the Dashboard Lights". I'm not sure if they set out to do a video and just decided to do the plain ol' concert footage style video, OR if somebody took actual concert footage and later turned it into a makeshift video. Well anyhow, it was concert footage --either staged or real. And I do believe that the chick on stage is the very chick that sings on that track. Now during the heavy petting/ baseball part of the song, it cuts between the concert footage and old baseball clips , although I wish they'd just shown the baseball footage only because ...uggh. Meat Loaf was genuinely MAULING this poor lady. There was GROPING and there was SMOOCHING and she was getting all his Meat sauce all over her...well, actually she looked fairly dry...but she must've gotten at least somewhat soggy because they were all entwined and Meat Loaf was sweating BARRELLS (forget buckets) as I believe is his onstage custom. Anyways I felt bad for the chick...it's not like she's some rap video ho, she is a professional singer. Even if she got adequate financial compensation for that (and I doubt it) still….how flippin’ degrading, eh?

Oh ya know how I was blathering on about old school vinyl Halloween costumes the other day? Well then I find this. Y'know as un-realistic looking as these things are, ya gotta give them beaucoup creativity points for the concept. I mean, the costume industry is definitely putting out a higher end product these days, but it seems to me (after a browse through the retro gallery) that their idea pool is considerably more limited now. Back in tha day I coulda been Hagar the Horrible, or Shaun Cassidy (Da doo ron ron ron ron, da doo ron ron) or Boss Hogg. Y'know, if I found this earlier in October, I honestly think it would've inspired me to dress up as Johnny Tremain for Halloween (in the "Real People" section of the gallery, second row). I wonder if that costume came with a deformed hand mitt??