Mystery Carcass---EPILOGUE

I stayed over @ my parents' casa on Friday night. I wish to point out that this was NOT for fear of mystery carcass, I was working on a painting project there, it ran late, and I crashed. After a busy Saturday, I was driving back to my house at 1:30am, mulling over the carcass removal issue. I decided that NOW was the time and I was going to dispose of it (vs. using the inside stairs again) and I WOULD. Although, at 1:30am I wasn't about to root around for my landord's roof hoe thingy. So I decided that the next best thing would be to use my the squeegie/ice scraper/brush implement from my car-- that telescopes to about 3 feet. Except if I got guts on my ice scraper, I may never use it again...at the very least I would NOT relish cleaning the thing off. So I came up with the clever scheme of tying a plastic shopping bag around the head of the tool thereby sheilding it from all grodiness. Quite pleased with my own problem-solving acumen, I pulled into my parking space and looked up through the stairs. . .at nothing. The thing was GONE. There were no drag marks or entrail scraps stuck in the wood. A very mysterious end to the ordeal!!

Here's what could have happened--
SCENARIO A-- Some hoggy animal came by and gobbled it up. That possibility is cool w/ me, but I don't think that's what happened. If that had been the case, I feel certain there would be bits left. You mean to tell me that some critter ate all the fur, ate the nose of this unfortunate fellow critter? It did rain on Saturday, but not enought to wash a whole hide offa your stairs. I mean, that stair was utterly clear, like nothing had been there,
which brings me to. . . ..
SCENARIO B--I am losing my mind.
That stair was so totally clean that I really suspect this to be the case. Uggh... if I am hallucinating dead animals on the stairs, then, I think that means I am acquiring a very dark, negative brand of loco, and not becoming whimsically eccentric. Like Emperor Josh Norton that I read about this a.m. (Sept 17, you see is the 148th anniversary of his ascension to emperorship) now his kinda crazy might not be so bad...especially if everyone adores you for it and lets you spend phony homemade money all over town. Sweet!
SCENARIO C-- My landlord spied the carcass and took it upon himself to remove it. This is almost okay with me (better than the notion of my going insane). Although I don't like being "beholden" to my landlords. Y'know I live in the same building as them, but I really don't see them all that often and that's the way I like it. If my landlord starts doing me extra courtesies, then I'M gonna feel compelled to make an effort to be kindly toward them, maybe start paying my rent in person and enduring that horrid 5 minutes of obligatory small talk (uggh).
Scenario D-- That WAS the landlord's cat... I still am pleased that I didn't have to clean up carcass-mess.. HOWEVER, I am slightly bothered by the thought that my neighbor may think I spotted their dead cat on my steps and didn't see the need to mention it to anybody, just stepped around the furry heap and went on my merrily callous way. That is NOT how it happened, and it vexes me a bit that there could be that misconception out there about yours truly. I may be antisocial, but I'm not callous. I am faux callous sometimes but my heart's not in it.

Well, I will probably never know what happened (that would require talking to the landlord(s)). But the overall lesson here is- ignore a problem and it WILL go away.

And here be some pictures of Emperor Norton currency. I did not guess it to be so fancy-schmancy and official looking. Expecting the 19th ce equivalent of crayon on construction paper I guess. . .