Thursday, September 07, 2006

the hitchhiker's guide to reality TV

So I took my mandatory dosage of reality TV meds last night: Rock Star Supernova & Project Runway. I will rant about Project Runway first 'cause I don't really have much ranting to do about the other...

Mixed feelings about this episode. First off, the POSITIVE--
BUUUUHBYE VINNY, you freakin' loony!! His dismissal was long overdue. I had DESPERATELY wanted him to get booted on the recycled materials challenge when he made that dress that made the model look like the garbage can of a 2nd grade art class. That was hideous. So was his couture outfit. He apparently thought he had top-notch couture skillz, but the fit on the dress was beau coup shitty. And those sleeves? Retro-futuristic? I dunno what he was going for with the sleeves, actually, but they boggled my mind. Though they did complement the outfit pretty well, as they too, were beau coup shitty. As lousy as that dress came out, I'm sure some of those black marks against him were due to how he totally creeped the French judge out. YOU ARE THE MOST MARVELOUS WOMAN I HAVE EVER MET!!! Her rating of Vin? It went something like "No, no, no, no, no, NO, NO!" Obviously the poor dame was traumatized.
I also like how Laura was all, "That tacky-ass Kayne is going to get booted!!" and then she was the one that was nearly booted! Sweet! I don't like all that criticizing and sneering and snarking. Maybe my "can't-we-all-just-get-along?" mentality is kinda naive, kinda sappy...but that's the way I feel about it, damn it! That's why I like Michael... he is talented, si, but also he steers clear of the drama. He gets zoned in on his work and doesn't yap about everybody else's shortcomings.
Speaking of Laura, her designs are beginning to bore the hell outta me. They're all really impressively well made (especially considering the time constraints) but --yaaawwwn! In this challenge I think she made her own dream dress. I know, I know, they modelled their own stuff in the last challenge, but maybe her hormone-addled brain's got her all disoriented. Or not...she may just want it to supplement her wardrobe after the show wraps. Whatev. Anyway, I think her inner-dialogue was "Ok, girl. Accentuate the positive, conceal the negative. Let's make something that skims forgivingly o'er my preggie bump . BUT MOST IMPORTANTLY--must showcase the sunken-in boy chest. Perhaps by framing it with a great plumage of ruffles--Harlequin-style. Yeeeah. God, I really love my own concaveness. I'm hot!!"
I don't know about the winning design. I did really like that color/ pattern...hey, I'll give credit where credit is due, even if said credit is due to a foul cretin like Jeffrey. Maybe I just don't get couture-- is it supposed to look like it goes with Doc Martens?? Plus it had all sorts of complicated bustles and straps that turned me off.
Also, I liked Kayne's dress. It was universally panned as being garish and over-the-top, but I thought it was really lovely, particularly when worn by the NY model. Maybe, I'm not the fashionista I thought I was. After all, I AM wearing white pants today.... 3 WHOLE DAYS AFTER LABOR DAY!!!
On Rock Star... Toby got the encore. This Aussie seems to be an unstoppable force of studliness. But I am not wholly swayed by his external charms... I still hold a teensy bit of a grudge against him for liberties he took with "Rebel Yell" He omitted, like, 5 whole lines of the song!! Specifically, the slower part, that starts out "I walked the ward with you, babe.." He cut out the slow build-up entirely and started with "I'd give you all, and have NONE, babe.." Terrible, right? And he did that twice!! He did an encore of the song on the next episode...I would've forgiven him if he had corrected the faux pas then, but NOOOO! No sirree, Tommy Lee! He fouled yet again! That is one of my all time FAVORITES. For the love of Benji, that's BILLY F**KING IDOL!! You just can't do that. I don't care how fine you are, Toby.

But still... if I saw him on the street... I'd probably suppress my grudge....glom onto him like a barnacle....try and steal a smoochie.

White River Junction is a total hotbed for hitch hikers. (just somethin' I've been mulling over. Please forgive my uncharacteristic absence of segue, amigos) I see them all the time, particularly around the on-ramps to the interstate. I wonder if anybody picks these people up. I would never dare. I'm curious...which is the more perilous endeavor-- hitchhiking or picking up hitchhikers??
Sometimes one of these hitchers that are bumming around the on ramps will wield a sign that sez "Going to Burlington" Burlington is an hour and a half ride up I89!!! Isn't that a smidgeon unreasonable ? I feel quite certain--if ever I was miraculously bold enough to pick up a hitcher, that boldness would have a time limit...15 minutes of maniacal derring-do at the MOST. You just might be the new Ted Bundy, fellah, so in my car, you're only gonna have 10 minutes to whip out your concealed Ginsu knife and off me. Strict time constraints have thwarted many a homocidal hitchhiker, don'tcha know?

1 comment:

Kara said...

One of my bosses wore white pants today and all I could think of was this post.