I went to Keene (I coulda shopped in nearby W Leb...but that place is such a g.d. zoo on the weekends, just the thought of taking on the strip on 12A made me wanna git the hell outta Dodge) with the mission of buying a bridal shower gift for my dear comrade Jilly. Well I did succeed in that mission...and then some. That modest "little somethin' for me" I'd promised myself (y'know it was like the parenthetical addendum to my mission "I am going to Keene shopping to pick up a gift for Jill's bridal shower (along with a leeeeeetle somethin'-somethin' for me)" Well somehow that li'l something multiplied, grew, and morphed into : Beaucoup booty!!
I am going to itemize beaucoup booty right here. Y'see even though I feel abit filthy and disgusted with myself right now, I am simultaneously very pleased with my new loot. It would be unfair to scorn the fine, fine merchandise simply because I have no self control. I do try and fight it but deep down I know that we are living in a material world and I am a material girl. I am torn between guilt and glee. Do you SEE now why I'm such an inactive homebody?? When I'm tucked away in my li'l hobbithole, I need not face the puzzling duality of my SOUL, and I can avoid these ethical quandaries that SO harsh my *&#@$ing mellow, man. Anyway, here is the master list-- because I'm revelling in my retail glories and because confession is good for the soul.....
FIRST STOP: Ocean State Job Lot-- This is in Walpole NH, on my way to Keene, and a damned worthwhile layover it was. I know, I know- OCEAN STATE JOB LOT- wtf kinda name for a store is that right??? If you've not visited one of these stores, it is (per the O.S.J.L. official website) a"discount chain specializing in manufacturers' closeout and overstock merchandise". I may be a retail addict, but I most definitely ain't no retail snob. I do enjoy a good high end merchant, yet I get a particular thrill from excavating for a find in a "bargain basement" atmosphere. Here are my top cheap-o haunts, ranked from most favoritist to least favorite:
1. Ocean State Job Lot
2. Christmas Tree Shoppes (I had written this in @ #1 but suddenly flashed back to every Christmas Tree Shoppe visit ever which was a frenzied, dangerous slice of anarchic bedlam-- merchandise breaking all over the place, shopping cart pile ups...anyways it was this chaotic atmosphere that got it demoted down to the numero dos slot)
3. Big Lots (a lot like #1 except they have no book section--MUCHO points deducted for no books)
4. Family Dollar
5. Dollar Tree (an actual dollar store. Yep, I AM that low-rent)
ANYWHOOOO, WHAT I BOUGHT AT OCEAN STATE JOB LOT--
*4 Children's books
*An atlas
*a super gaudy unicorn keychain (purple & gold)
*4 cute vintage looking stuffed animals (specifically, they were "Dakin Dreampets" and I got a giraffe, a lamb, an aviator tiger, & a bulldog having previously {once upon a time...at Big Lots} procured the turtle, the hippo, the French poodle, the donkey, the kangaroo, and a goat --the goat being the only 1 I kept for myself..I'm not a nuevo-Beanie baby collector or anything so horrid, people. I got nieces & nephew to spoil... They are pretty adorable and only 99cents a pop)
*2pkgs Post It notes
* an empty journal
* a silk scarf w/ houndstooth check pattern
* 2 sixpacks soda-- Polar Diet Cranberry and Polar Orange Dry (the plastic sixpack holders gave way when I was carrying it up to the checkout--dented cans rolling all over the g.d. place. Was my face red!!! You betcha...I had an unbecoming maroon glow radiating from me mug for about 15min afterwards)
*1 bag Utz brand cheese balls
* 1 jewelry set -- earrings and a necklace with clock pendant. *NOT* a Flava-Flav style clock pendant...instead, think more of a dainty pocket watch type thingy
*1 pair fake Crocs-- they are red and a smidge too big for me
SECOND STOP-- BORDERS-- Yeaaahhh, I have a Border's about 5min from my house but I just had to pop in to the Keene location, ostensibly to pick up a cute bridal shower card. Borders just has a hold on me, it's as simple as that. But hey-- at least I'm in the Borders Rewards club and if I spend $5 more this month, I earn a "personal shopping day". I don't exactly know what that entails, but it sounds right up my alley.
at Borders I bought:
*Book-- "Tomorrow they will Kiss" by Eduardo Santiago (http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0316014125/sr=1-1/qid=1153175063/ref=pd_bbs_1/102-7696211-5989702?ie=UTF8&s=books)
*Book-- "Broken Trail"-- this I bought because I was so smitten with the AMC movie (http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/1555916058/102-7696211-5989702?n=283155)
* Book-(it was a $5.99 bargain book if that wins me any leniency!!) The Encyclopedia of Signs & Symbols
*CD -- "St Elsewhere" -- Gnarls Barkley (does THAT make me craaaaayzaay?)
...and--SHOCKER--not a single bridal shower card
THIRD STOP: Target--
*stickers
*magnets
*Post It notes (I know, I know, MORE sticky notes! But these have the words "Stay classy" on 'em and I could not pass that up)
*bridal shower card ----- --\
*fancyschmancy teal platter\ ..ALL for Ms Jilly...
*bubble wrap (for platter) --------- see? I can stay on task!!
*gift bag (for platter) /
*tissue paper (for platter) /
*Choxie chocolates
*strapless bra (tan)
and, post-shopping, at the Target (pron: Tar-zhay) cafe-
* 1 bottle blueberry tangerine flavored agua
* 1 all beef hotdog (with 2 packets mustard , 1/2 packet ketchup...but condiments were gratis, natch)
FOURTH STOP: K mart (in Claremont, on my way home)
* Jeans
* a tee shirt w/ Woody Woodpecker on it
* an adamantium infrastructured support garment for upcoming wedding
* a long raspberry colored skirt
Then while leaving Kmart I rang my sister and she was just across town at Sophie & Zeke's dining with friends, so instead of heading right home, I opted to crash their little soiree and I enjoyed a plate of mussels and glass of house Pinot Grigio whilest doing so. (the ideal follow up to an all-beef Target frankfurt, si?)
Anyways, I didn't even wait until the morning after to let the guilt set in (I am Catholic, after all). Saturday night I had dreams of shopping at Kmart and having my card declined. It was like the funhouse mirror warp,amplified emotions version of the situation, 'cause in the dream I was hit full force with a staggering realization of my utter destitution, and I got all panicky. In real life that has happened to me (though NOT at Kmart) and it sucks but not quite so melodramatically. Just another one of those instances where I get that swell beet red facial incandescence. Yay.
I've got one more shopping victory to gloat over--and yes, let's preface this by acknowledging that I am a thoroughly impractical, horribly materialistic spendthrift-- I got a SWEEEET deal on wedding shoes today. I was looking online and the cheapest ones on Shoes.com & Zappos that would work were like, $65. and I would never spend that on shoes. I'm particularly inclined to be stingy shelling out moolah for heels, since I wear them fairly rarely. I then thought to check Overstock.com and found a pair in just the perfect shade of pink for a mere 25 bucks. ($26.99 w/ shipping) . I'm going to have to wear heels more frequently in the coming weeks because these that I just snatched up today... 4" heels. Oy vey. Pray for my ankle strength, people. Say a novena to the patron saint of pageants, and ice skating, whatever you hafta do...I may need a miracle to stay vertical in these suckahs. But let's not lose sight of the crucial point here-- they's cute and I got a terrif deal!
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