Tuesday, April 28, 2009

Heroes *redonkulous* finale

Sorry for the neglect, my pretties.

Let's talk Heroes..

What the bluddy 'ell is the matter with Grandmaw Petrelli & HRG?? It is painfully obvious to any sentient being that their little plan they throw together at the episode's end is the absolute WORST PLAN EVER . Oh, I suppose Parkman's to blame too, but in his defense he was coerced, faced with beaucoup peer pressure, and seems to realize what a dumb idea it all is. Although, he should've used Parkman power on HRG & Angela, and planted a better idea in their heads.
A'right, so if you missed it, here's the 411 (*SPOILERS IMMINENT*) Grandmaw Petrelli drops Claire off with her "dad", Nathan (really a shape-shifted Sylar) at uhhh.. wherever a Senator hobnobs with the Prez . The lobby looks federal building-ish but there are suites in other parts of the building. I'm sure they did specify the venue, but the overall stupidity of this episode's denoument was totally mindblowing and the memory of small details such as place names were the collateral damage of that explosion.
So anyways..The real Nathan is knocked out in the bathroom of his own office. SweetPete finds him there and they hasten to stop fakeNathan. Meanwhile, Angela is fetching Parkman because she had some dream that he'd come in handy. I don't recall where HRG is in all this. Let's just imagine he was chasing down a Good Humor truck in order to procure a ChocoTaco... in which case we'll write off his total idiocy in this episode to brain freeze. Peter & Nathan arrive, Claire gets ejected from the room (quite literally) and is locked out while the Petrelli boys fight Sylar. When the doors open, Nathan & Sylar have flown out the window, Peter tells Claire that yes, he did get to absorb Sy's powers and they head outside to locate S& N. Once they exit, S&N fly back into the room and S promptly slits N's throat (yeeeOWCH!). Easter Island Head--finito (just when he was starting to reform too!) Sylar gets away, Angela & HRG find dead Nathan. Angela sinks into a terrible, despairing, blink-and-you'll-miss-it 2 minute morass of grief before coming up with an insanely stupid master plan. Sylar had morphed into a presidential aide and gotten into the presidential limo to shake hands with...BOOOYAH! Peter, who had morphed into a likeness of the Prez and stabs Sy with a syringe filled with elephant tranquilizers. Okay- I don't even know how he hatched that plan or, for that matter, when he had any time for plan hatching . If he came up with it all on his own, how did his plan dovetail so neatly with Angela's later plan, but then again, if he did collaborate with Moms & co. how could he also be kept in the dark about his dead bro (because it definitely seems that Angela, Parkman,& HRG are the only ones aware of N's death) But I'll not overanalyze that, simply 'cause the limo scene was pretty rad and really the best bit outta this whole cockamamie finale.

So, finally, Angela, Parkman, & HRG are in a room with dead Nathan and conked out Sylar. No idea where Peter and Claire are at this point, perhaps the ice cream truck has made another pass through the area. Maybe they're discussing over Creamsicles what a foolhardy idea their offscreen relationship was, how Sandra had said so all along, OY VEY-- if only they had just listened to her!! Anyways, back to the prone bodies of Sylar & Nathan with Angela & HRG nearby, conceiving monumentally BAD ideas. Parkman is persuaded to brainwash Sylar into thinking he was never Sylar, he has always been NATHAN. Sy's head morphs into an according Easter Islandish shape, and when he wakes up you see the Pacman powers have done their thang. Which is stunning, considering how very NOT impressive Matt's methods were. Dude chants something to the tune of "YOU ARE NATHAN PETRELLI. There never was a Gabriel Gray" once or thrice and that's all there is to it. Guess if one is imbued with THE POWER, technique is a nonissue, huh? And realNathan-- no idea what they do with him. They stuff him in a locker at the bus station, or maybe they compost him-- really, if they went over that aspect of the plan, I don't recall what was decided. Now the original shapeshifting dude died looking like Sylar. They pull that corpse outta Building 26, make believe it's the real Sylar and they put him on a pyre and have a big Viking funeral for him with mead-swigging, and yak-horn helmets and the whole dealie-o. Ok, I'm joking about the mead & the helmets, but they do burn him and stand around staring at the bonfire with varied countenances -Matt wearing a "I can't fucking believe I went along with that plan " face. Angela & HRG lookin' like "We've made the tough call for the greater good. Aren't we amazingly magnanimous in a morally greyish kinda way?" Claire & Peter looking vaguely pensive and, unbeknownst to them, super gullible. I don't remember if Hiro & Ando got bonfire invites...they WERE featured in this episode, even if I glossed over their involvement completely.

Well, I have gotta hand it to this trio-- covert body disposal, sneaking a body out of storage--their scheme might be asinine, but the logistics of it were quite an accomplishment. Either they're really slick, or Claire & Peter lingered over those Creamsicles for freaking EVER!! But they did it. So .. what...could **POSSIBLY** go wrong now?? Hmmm...quite the loaded question, that. This would be the first time ever Parkman has erased someone's identity and supplanted it with a new one? Hmm. Ain't it great that he's making his first stab at it when there's so much at stake? Have they even tested how long Parkman's Jedi mind tricks last? Now that might be a somewhat important consideration. You gotta love how they bypassed the simplest and soundest solution and went right for the most catastrophe-prone course of action imaginable. Go big or go home, eh?

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