Tuesday, January 02, 2007

other crap I thought of

I had left off at "Charles Nelson Reilly--IS--Edna Turnblatt..." because I felt like wrapping up by referencing one of the Match Game regulars lent my post a nice "full circle" quality, but really, I ceased my prattling prematurely. I have other crap in my head, albeit trivial, completely inconsequential crap. That's what happens when you don't post for a whole week, I guess. Trivial crap-o-la build up.

Blathering on about "Hairspray" made me think about Rikki Lake. Back in her fatty days (ok, well 1989, specifically) she did a TV movie called "Baby Cakes" which I taped off the telly. If I remember correctly I watched the hell outta that one. It was real inspirational, triumph-of-the-human-spirit stuff.. the abridged plot synopsis goes something liiiiike: Fat girl steals hunk away from beautiful bitch fiance. Yep, that about sums it up. And that's probably unabridged, actually. The hunk in question is Craig Sheffer. Guess who Rikki Lake plays? Ha, ha, ha. It's not landmark cinema, by any means, but I would most definitely recommend it if you're looking for something in the Fat-Girl-Meets-Stud, Fat-Girl-Woos-Stud, Stud-dumps-Hot-but-Bitchy-Fiance genre. You could probably call it a classic of that genre.

And since I'm such a wiz at hypothetical casting (as evidenced in the disjointed ramblings of my prev. post) I would say that if there was a biopic made of Craig Sheffer's life, the best pick for the role of Craig Sheffer would be David Boreanaz.
They are similar lookin' dudes, I've always thought so. Looky here--
David Boreanaz---


Craig Sheffer as the wicked Hardy Jenns in
the incomparable "Some Kind of Wonderful" ---


I find it interesting that it was sort of a trial finding a pic of Craig Sheffer while when digging for the Boreanaz pic there was something like 9 gajillion fan sites to pick from....when Sheffer is clearly the better looking of the two. Wellllll, perhaps not these days. But Sheffer ought to look to Val Kilmer for inspiration...he too, went through a bloated/haggard/ old/ puffy stage, but he seems to be coming out of it (last I heard anyways).
Although I seem very pro-Sheffer, (well I am)I do still feel it wise to cast David Boreanaz as Craig Sheffer. Today's Craig Sheffer is too old to play Craig Sheffer in his prime, and let's not forget, Craig Sheffer is apt to give a rather biased portrayal of Craig Sheffer at any age. An added bonus of casting Boreanaz-- it's guaranteed to lure all the gothy sci-fi nerds who are still boo-frickety-hooing over "Angel" getting cancelled.
Well, now that I've devoted 3 paragraphs to it , it strikes me that a Craig Sheffer biopic is a seriously unlikely project. What I'd really like to see instead (another project that could make use of this genius bit of casting) is a fictional behind-the-scenes documentary on the making of "Some Kind of Wonderful". I love that movie. It would be very tough though finding a good looking red-head to play Eric Stoltz circa 1986. Eric Stoltz has a very unique angular-featured handsomeness that would be difficult to match. (Again- real Eric Stoltz=too old) Plus, that tomato red hair. They could **not** cast a non-redhead. That would not be ok with me.
Ok, the "Some Kind of Wonderful" fictionalized mock doc is an unlikely project too, but hey-- in this post-"Snakes on a Plane"culture of ours, who knows?? Truth is, it's laaaaaaaaaaate, and I'm sleep deprived and it's making me type nutty shit.
But I'm NOT DONE! I must utterly purge my noggin before retiring for the night. The pisser of it is, I have a feeling that I'm so tired that when I at last go to bed, I won't be able to get to sleep.

I also was gonna mention some recent celeb nuptials.. .. granted it's C-list celebs, and nothing too interesting, but I thought with all this death talk in the media lately (Saddam gettin' stretched & the big Ford-Brown Funeral-palooza Tour) it was important--for the sake of balance--to talk amour.
A while back (this is old 2006 news-- pre-Christmas stuff, reeeeeaching back into the archives) Lara Flynn Boyle got hitched to a random "civilian" dude. The dude in questions name is Donald Ray Thomas. I hope it will not be a source of tension in their marriage that her triple-name name is thoroughly becoming--lyrical, lilting, lovely and evocative of other good L-word qualties. Donald Ray Thomas, on the other hand? 3 first names that are perfectly inoffensive on their own, but when bonded together...well, it's a moniker for an assassin. Or a sniper. Less than lilting, let's just say.

More fun with newlywed names... I read just today that Jay Mohr may have married his fellow C-lister girlfriend Nikki Cox. My mind's eye immediately envisioned Nikki's hometown newspaper, and the headline on that wedding announcement: Mohr-Cox. HAAAAAAAAA! I can be so juvenile . But remember-- wicked bad severe sleep deprivation. That is the root of all this idiocy!!

I noticed the Mohr-Cox (ha!) article mentioned that Nikki Cox was previously "engaged to comedian Bob Goldthwait". Probably not too presumptuous of me to conclude that "comedian Bob Goldthwait" = Bobcat Goldthwait. And now she's hitched to Jay Mohr. And this makes me think "Nikki Cox is a lovely young woman lacking in confidance. Sure, this is an upgrade but she has still married several levels below her mating potential. She must have serious self-esteem issues." And then I chided myself for such an uncharitable thought and re-hypothesized " Nikki Cox is a truly lovely young woman made all the more lovely by her knack for appraising others by their non-aesthetic assetts." See, I'm trying to be a li'l bit less of a jaded bitch in 2007.


Tonight I fell in love with the song "Wolf Like Me" by TV On The Radio. I think 99Rock had played it before, but I'd not paid attention and realized how much I really dig it. I dig it sooo much, in fact, that I cannot at the moment think of how it goes at all. I think I'll watch the video online tomorrow. I could probably track it down now, but it will be infinitely more enjoyable with the speedy server connection plus it is FINALLY, at long last, bedtime for Bonzo!!
Nighty night, dearies!!

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