herringbone

This is the pattern of the pants I am wearing today. They're new and I am rather smitten with them. I would like to buy 3 or 4 more pair of the same but I won't. 4 or 5 pair of herringbone pants in black & white (and I think it's primarily sold in black & white) would be just gratuitous...something you'd expect from someone who has Oprah money. I have CONSIDERABLY less moolah at my disposal. Now I could see the merit in buying several pairs of herringbone slacks ("pants" just doesn't sound elegant enough, I don't think) if I could collect a variety of colors. Why isn't there fuschia herringbone? Or green? I would snatch those f-ers up!!

Some things that I should have clarified before publicizing my chat transcript-- well, it was ALL pretty incoherent, but 2 points I thought might be particularly puzzling--

1.) 9 of Diamonds-- My card references have to do with coffee I'm getting out of the cafeteria vending machine. The vending machine java is dispensed in these hokey cardboard cups that say "Wildcard Poker" on them and on the side of the cup it gives you 5 cards, and then, hidden at the very bottom of the cup is your "Hole Card" whatever the hell that means. I don't play poker, and don't know what exactly a "hole card " is but I'm always stoked to see what my "hole card " is. Whenever it's a somethingorother of clubs (clubs are my fave suit) I take that as a good luck sign for the day (I tend to go in for signs/ omens...see my St. Christopher medal incident from Monday) Anyways, it is my longstanding custom to alert Laurel of my coffee cup hole card(s) du jour

Incidentally, here is an interesting bit on what the suits on playing cards mean. Very neat-o.

2) Ms. Safetydancepants, J-Beau, Bri-Jar etc etc-- These are all examples of my tendency to fabricate code names for people when I snipe about 'em behind their back. This is an extremely catty practice, dating back to late grade school, that I have every intention of perpetuating. And Ms Safetydancepants, by the way, is so dubbed that because she is the facility's safety coordinator and NOT because she such a tremendous Men Without Hats fan.

Speaking of nicknames, I am temporarily (probably just for this week ) "Cookie Wuss" . This is a deviation from the usual "Cookie Puss" that Lisa calls me. Many moons ago, I noticed, with some distaste, that she had taken to calling me "Cookie". And one morning, when I was feeling a little crabbish, I snapped at her: "DON'T call me Cookie!!" and she asked in return "Well then what should I call you?" And immediately I found I was regretting being so bitchy and thinking that yes, I would like a cutesy nickname (of my choosing) after all so I had to think fast. And because it is the title of an early Beastie Boys song, and the name of an adorably freaky Carvel creation, I came out with "Cookie Puss!" And it stuck. So usually Lisa calls me "Cookie Puss" or "CP" But then I guess Monday when I called to check in I let slip numerous times my angst over coming off like a "wuss". Hence the temporary handle. Sorry...that was a lotta exposition over a rather non-interesting topic. I'd rename myself "Cookie Blather-on-tediously Wuss" but that is, uhhh, less than catchy. What's the antonym of "catchy" anyway??

CONSUMER REPORT-- I took a consumer gamble the other day and bought an EXOTIC new gum flavor. It was Orbit brand and the flavor...mint mojito. In some rational part of my brain I was kicking myself for such a capricious purchase, but if you know yours truly, you are aware that I am INCAPABLE of resisting the allure of new product. Any new product. Seriously--I am like 1 of maybe a dozen saps nationwide that tried Blue Pepsi (like a melted blue freezie pop with a weee tiny bit of carbonation...blecccch) Anyways...I should not have been so quick to condemn my buy...MINT MOJITO ORBIT IS TERRIFIC!!! Sadly, I think it's too exotic a chewing gum concept for the masses. It will probably be yanked off shelves before March. I say--go out and buy a pallet-load at Costco now while you can.

In other experimental consumerism news-- tonight I bought a bag of Pringles SELECT---the Szechuan Barbecue variety. I applaud this foray into hi-falutin' gourmet territory (or as they put it "a unique taste escape") HOWEVER, I don't like how they ditched the signature cylindrical packaging. I'm not a huge Pringles fan overall, and usually the only reason I'd buy Pringles is for the tubular can (fewer crushed chippies, optimum resealability, & that prominent pic of that stone cold fox Mr Pringles) If I generally buy Pringles for their can, then why did I buy these bagged ones tonight, you might ask? Well, if you did ask you're not paying very close attention there, nimrod. A synopsis (in analogy format) new product is to moi as wicked warbling sirens are to stupid sailors of yore. Sheeesh, try and keep up, eh??