small talk

I am not a fan of conventional small talk. I say "conventional" small talk because "small talk" is widely defined as "casual or trivial conversation" and I would NEVER contend that I am against trivial conversation. NEVER! Triviality is my bread & butter!! Well, not really, as that sort of implies that I make $$ from it which I don't. Let's say instead, that I THRIVE on trivial, superficial, chatter. But what it lacks in pith it needs to compensate for in wit, absurdity, or interestingness (which is not a word but I was unable to find a suitable word meaning that)

So, I have a strong distaste for trite talk, then. I was a bit irked by this exchange from Monday, so irked, that I pretty much remember verbatim. It went down like so---

SETTING: Late morning on Monday. I am walking past the cafeteria and Scott is in the cafeteria, perusing the vending machine offerings. I am hoping to slink quietly past the cafeteria and into the ladies room without being seen in order to avoid the obligatory small talk exchange. This is not to be the case. I am spotted.

Scott (boisterously loud, shouting): HOW’S SANDRA TODAY??
Me/Sandra: Eehhh. Not too bad for a Monday, I guess.
Scott (still very boisterous, not so shouty): Well, you never know!!
Me/Sandra (near-shout,with fake boisterousness): YEP!!!


Now, was that not insipid repartee? It only marginally made sense. "Well you never know" I think is meant to mean he's presuming that I lack psychic powers (I do...so, he would be right..) and therefore any unexpected turn of events could come to pass that would , at the very least, turn my frown upside down. Sort of a feeble, sound-bite-sized pep talk? Whatev. I should have left it at "Well, you never know" but at that point, Scott's chipper amiability was making me feel like I should make some sort of effort at cheer, as I was coming off like a real slug (Well I AM very sluggish in the mornings...especially so on a Monday morning. So yeah, I was already aware of my own sluggishness, but I was cool with it as long as I was solitarily sluggish but now I was being pulled into conversation, and imposing my sluggishness on others. I don't wanna bring anybody down!!) So I was trying to impart an enthusiasm that I did not feel and I'm never very good at that. Hence the awkward wrap up.

I don't know what the whole point of sharing that anti-anecdote was. It was a bit similar to those idiotic spreads in US Weekly that proclaim "Stars--They're Just Like Us!!!" (accompanying photos of celebs buying groceries or, on a banner week, picking their nose in traffic). So, perhaps my post title should read "Charming Gorgeous Genius Sandras-- They're Socially Awkward Too!" Naaah. Too wordy.

I suppose it's terribly dysfunctional for me to wish that people would just NOT talk to me in the morning?