CALGON--TAKE ME AWAAAY!

I am not in the best of moods today. I had a job interview and I really don't think it went well. I'm feeling like I might have strep (swollen glands, tight sore throat; I'm thinking strep since Chloe had it last week, but am going to the doc for an official diagnosis at 2:30 today) I was all fixated on trying to sound like I was not sick and my throat was not closing up and I think I botched the interview. I don't know.. it was hard to gage.

And then Robin comes back from an interview and I have to listen to her yammer on about how GREAT it went and I should just be happy for her but I want to tell her to piss off and leave me the F alone. What really vexes me is that she input an application to DHMC via their website --as did I -- and she was called right in to interview with the department head of the dept that was hiring. Whereas I had to go through this pre-interview crap with their HR. I think my pre-interview went well, but still, I don't know why *I* had extra hoops to jump through. I would expect a big organization like DHMC would be consistent in their hiring procedures. I did have a 2nd interview at the Community Health Center (a division of DHMC & one of two clinical secretary positions this HR broad was **supposedly** submitting my name for ) but I know I didn't get that. But where is my second second interview? What the hell? Probably Robin is snagging that very job while I think I'm going through proper channels but DHMC HR is actually sitting around with their thumbs up their collective arse.

This lack of a new gig is driving me MAD. I've been having dreams about it...dreams about working weird new jobs or about stalking people to coerce them into hiring me. Friday is my last day here and I've been packing up my shit today (alternating packing with e-filing my taxes) and I am so fucking stressed I could EXPLODE. And actually, explosion doesn't seem all that terrible...because if I don't explode, I get the feeling that I'm going to succumb to weepiness and there's nothing I hate more than well-meaning folk trying to console me when my eyes get leaky.

I shouldn't have gone to TX. It wound up being as thoroughly pointless as I thought it would be and that was a week I could've spent finding a new job.

I'm never going to find anything. I feel under-qualified for everything.

Life is SO shitty today.