the social hub

I did Burlington this weekend. Hadn't been there in some time and I'd missed it. It's like a game preserve for hot men there. Which is not to say hot men are extinct in the rest of the state, but they are for sure an endangered species I'm sorry to report. When you see a fine lookin' fellah in southeastern VT, it's a bit of an event and aforementioned hottie stands out like hottie fish in a pond full o' mediocre fish. But in B-ton..it's uhhh, sensory overload. But that's a good thing. I really got to flex my ogling muscles, which had actually atrophied somewhat.

But y'know, as much as I love it, I dunno if I could live in such an environment fulltime. It's a bit like when Mags hired a guy in our customer service dept last year. I was really, really STOKED... for all of an hour. But then, the more I thought it over, the more I was hoping the new hire would be gay. (Ended up he was NOT gay and NOT bad lookin' either, but no matter.. he ended up lasting just 2 or 3 mos, so ultimately he was nary a blip on my life's radar) I wanted a gay guy coworker because, well, it would be an opportunity to have a gay guy in my entourage. Not only is a gay guy friend awesome (top perk: you can casually attend an event with a pal, but if said pal keeps his yapper shut it appears you went to the trouble of acquiring an actual date ) it also happens to be one of the mandatory steps on the path to official fabulosity. I just know I have fabulous potential in me...I can feel it...
But I have digressed big time. Aside from befriending me and helping me to attain fabulosity, a gay coworker would simply mean it wasn't another hetero guy in the office. A hetero guy would mean...I dunno, it would just be a HASSLE for me-- y'know- the daily application of makeup, outfit contemplation, and doing something with my hair aside from merely running a brush through it. Probably not as much singing showtunes and talking about poop (bummer!). Anyways if I lived in the big Vermontropolis, it would be that on a macrocosmic scale-- I would probably feel the need to be presentable 24/7 (or nearly that much...22/6 perhaps).
Anyways, I was up there for Jill's bachelorette party and it was a grrrreat time. So the S.O.P. for bachelorette parties... the bride-to-be's posse ornament her like some kind of slut pinata and make her do "challenges". All in good fun, yes, but I detect a slight sadistic undercurrent to the proceedings. It could be my jaded outlook influencing my perception but I don't think so... I think I've made a real observation that's quite SIGNIFICANT to modern sociocultural anthropology. I could yammer on further but methinks I'd be better off to save it for that big anthropological tome I'm workin' on.

I was staring at Jill's tiara -- rhinestones spelling out the word "Bachelorette" and it occurred to me what a limited word that is. It seems no one uses "bachelorette" except in the context of bachelorette parties and appearing on The Dating Game.

So we chatted and grazed @ Jill's sister's casa for a bit and then we went out to the bars. We had a big van taxi...because we's smart and none of us wanted to not drink (heaven forfend!) We went to 3 bars: Red Square, Metronome, and then RiRa's. The abridged version is that I got my drink on, got my dance on and am praying the photographic evidence does NOT get emailed to me. I'm all for making an ass of myself on film, provided I never am subjected to the resulting photos. For instance, when I did my Maine trip the other weekend, I kept picking up seaweed at the beach, well, just because I like playing with seaweed but because I was feeling goofy I pretended like I was chowing down on ucky kelp for the camera. Amy got some pics of me looking pretty maniacal-- well, I presume I looked maniacal, because I did not look at the pics. Anyways, from this weekend, I'm sure there's a good number of pictures of me innebriated and dancing, which, even for the photogenic elite is not a set of photogenic circumstances. And there's a picture of me with some guy who later tried to sit on my lap (he was not invited to do so) ...don't wanna see that one either. Anyways it was all taken on a digital cam, so no hope of that being an undeveloped 35mm roll occupying someone's junk drawer for the next 5yrs and a good possibility that I'll soon get an email with subject line like "Jill's Bachelorette Bash---PICS!!" Yeeeeah, I'll look through 'em (but not without cringing )

When barhopping in Burlington, I've often thought of the city as my state's "social hub" It's like Jane Austen's England...where some of the towns in the countryside will have their small dances periodically, but the real work of the social season is done in London. And all the desperate hubby-hunters make certain to have an aunt in town, or somebody they can bunk with to be near the action "Ah yes, Jemima is staying in London with her neighbor's cousin's godmother for the season.." It's pretty much the same in modern-day VT. I guess the more things change the more they stay the same. (I'd like to know, incidentally , exactly who originated that asinine proverb) So yeah, maybe that's why my bar expeditions have been so fruitless...I've been contemplating Jane Austen too much and therefore unable to fully achieve that blank and vapid look that really lures in the menfolk.

They should tape a season of The Real World in Burlington. I mean, I know B-ton is not one of your major, world renowned cities, but it's got character. And a Real World locale doesn't have to be a HUGE city, it just has to have-- a space to make a spectacular Real World pad, a bar or two, and be able to provide fun made up jobs for a party of 7. I'm sure Burlington has all that. I would start watching the tired old show again, just in the hopes of catching glimpses of familiar sites. And presuming that other Vermonters could very well share in this compulsion, the Real World could accrue up to 623,050 (2005 VT population estimate) new viewers. I don't know much about ratings, (I don't even get how that info is gathered really... es mucho mysterioso) but 600,000 viewers might not amount to much for your average TV show. But The Real World could probably use any little boost it can get, I'd bet. That show is to reality TV as Joan Rivers is to comediennes--y'know still on the air but -OY! sooo old & haggard. I tend to watch the 1st Real World eppy and then forget it for the remainder of the season. If it was set in VT though, I'm sure I'd stick with it better than that. And I know the MTV powers-that-be are cognizant of VT (unlike some other folks I've encountered in NYC) as they shot 2 MADE episodes here (one in Barre, another in Bethel).