Tuesday, August 29, 2006

Shawarmas-R-Us

I just looked up what a shawarma is because there was a Shawarma restaurant on nearly every damn block in Ottawa. And I hadn't a clue what in tarnation a shawarma was. I suppose the most elemental way of finding out would be to pop into to one of these zillions of shops and procure me a shawarma. But none of these establishments looked all that enticing, nor did any of them look excessively clean. So I did my shawarma research on the net. It looks like something I'd like to try. I'm adding it to my mental "Vittles to Try" list along with escargot & caviar. I am really f****ing hungry and this post topic is not helping matters.

Mi amiga Lisa brought in eggplant parm for my lunch today. It was REALLY phenomenally yummy. I dunno why it gave me the shits instantaneously. A very enjoyable lunch experience nonetheless.

And still speaking of eats ('cause I haven't the good sense to change topics) I have an epilogue to my SUNDAY AUG 20 installment of my vaca recap.... I was pretty hungry that night by the time dinner rolled around. You'll recall I had that infamously AWFUL FALAFEL at lunch and I only made it 1/3 of the way thru it. So the whole gang went to the Hard Rock Cafe to sup. They put on a good feed there and I do like it, actually, but I can't help feeling a little sheepish about dining there. It just strikes me as the ultimate, tourist-geek move. Yet our clan seems to have a habit of hitting up the local Hard Rock Cafe when visiting any big metropolis. I guess that makes sense, as we are like, the neauvo-Griswolds. To be fair, we did refrain from eating at the Ottawa HRC. And they do have one there, in the Byward Market area, I used their potty and their ATM.
And then on --
Monday AUG 21--
We toured Old Montreal. I do like me some "old world charm" and it was indeed charming in that very fashion. We even did the horse drawn carriage tour which I enjoyed mostly due to the fact that I didn't hafta cough up the $$$ for it. My dinner was "eh" but I did enjoy the demi-pitcher of sangria. I put demi-pitcher in bold (twice,now) because everyone kept ridiculing me as some kind of legendary lush for drinking a "WHOLE PITCHER OF SANGRIA". That's what they said anyway. But the fact is that there was a pitcher and a demi-pitcher offered on the menu, and I ordered the demi-pitcher. Which any half-cognizant babboon knows is NOT the same thing as a whole damn pitcher. As this is the official written record of the Summer 2006 Montreal-Ottawa Expedition, I felt this was the forum to clear up that discrepancy. I may be a bit of a lush, but I'm no legendary lush. Understood?
And then later that night we went back to Old Montreal bar hopping. I think my new fave drinkie is a Bellini, but the challenge is going to be finding a joint 'round here sophisticated enough to make me a decent one. I had set myself a mission to get Greg schnockered because he was absolutely TRANSFIXED by this Hugger Busker fellow and I wanted to get him a little loosey-goosey so I could coerce him into tackling the Hugger Busker or maybe dry humping him. HB is a pretty transfixing dude, I was a bit intrigued myself. Basically, he is a street performer that stands still like a statue (these faux-statue-guys seemed to be really big in Canada...wonder what kind of annual income that nets ya?? Hmmm..) and he has a sign that says "FREE HUGS". And, seriously, you can go up and hug him..gratis. Somehow, Hugger Busker has worked this simple act into a 500 word freakin' dissertation on his website http://www.huggerbusker.com/hugger/about.html
You can't really tell it from his site, but the guy was really talented at the standing still bit. He was the best human statue I spotted whilest on vaca, and I think I saw like 4 or 5 of 'em. I did not, however, sample his hugging skills.
Tuesday AUG 22--
Our last day in Montreal--we checked out of Montreal's Delta Central Ville Hotel and went to St Joseph's Oratory. This church is colossal. Really beautiful too with a big gallery of religious artwork. I was particularly stoked to see some original Mucha prints (you know how I dig the Alphonse Mucha) he did 8 or 12 illustrated plates that comprised the Lord's Prayer. But my church tour was somewhat ruined by a really poor choice of footwear. I wore these faux Adidas looking slides that had rubber nubbies under your feet and I guess said nubbies are for comfort? The idea is they're supposed to tenderize your soles like you have steaks at the end of your ankles?? I dunno, but they got to be very ouchy. And when my feet hurt I get crabby and antisocial. Doesn't everybody?

Okey doke, I was hungry 20 min ago and now my stomach just said "Blurrrga mlrrrrrg waa" to me, which I think is intestinese for "GO GIT SOME FOOD, BITCH!" I will have to continue with my travelogue tomorrow....
Ciao babies!!

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