As I was crossing the parking lot on my way in to Borders today, I had my eyes fixed on a patch of mystery debris on the pavement ahead of me. And y'know, I presumed it was just some litter, so I don't know why I was gazing at it so intently.
It was not until I was right on top of it that I realized that it was a flattened crow. Which struck me as so odd. I really don't like birds but have always given them credit for being smart enough (or at least, just quick reflexed enough) to get outta the way of approaching car tires (unlike your average skunk or raccoon...and the occasional cat) Plus this is a parking lot, so traffic is not apt to be coming on so rapidly that one wouldn't have time to react. Chances are the thing was dead already when run over. Fell dead outta the sky? Ate some toxic litter and didn't even make it into the sky before keeling over? Damned ominous, that's what it is.
Nevertheless, I had to call my niece over to gawk at it. "Chloe, come here look at this--it's disgusting!!"
I had this "40% off any book"coupon that Borders emailed me, and I had, at checkout, a $2.50 Golden Book, a $7. kiddie board book, a $6. William Steig anthology, and a $15. paperback for me (I got Karen Maitland's Company of Liars. Haven't heard a thing about it, but just the copy on the back cover intrigued the hell outta me.) Obviously, I wanted that 40% off the novel, but I was expecting they'd give me the discount on the cheapest book in the group. I was even planning to ditch the children's books, check out with just the novel & my coupon, and then go back for the kid's books and go up to pay a second time so that I got the discount applied the way I wanted it. But I got absorbed with watching the kids, and my mother and all that and when we finally all got organized to check out, I forgot my crafty scheme entirely. So as the dude was ringing me up, I said, kinda wincingly, "I suppose the 40% is taken off the cheapest book, eh?" and he goes"No, we take it off the most expensive." To which I exclaimed " AWESOME! THAT'S WHY I LOVE YOU! YOU GUYS ARE AWESOME!!"
I think he was taken aback by my vehemence.
To come full circle with the bird motif, I was driving home through Plainfield, and just getting to the part of 12A when you can start driving NORMALLY again (it's a painfully --and needlessly-- poky 30 mph speed limit through the nothin-happening town of Plainfield, then goes to 40 mph limit and then 50 mph.) So I was travelling at 40+ mph , well on my way to 50 mph, and futzing around with my iPod and I glance up to see 3 big fat turkeys in my lane. And there were 4 more on the shoulder. Those jive turkeys are just damned lucky I have such the lightning fast reflexes I do... else they would've been fused to my grill.
2 comments:
The crow could have had the west nile virus.
You'll have to let us know how the book turns out. It sounds interesting.
The turkeys - just think, if you would have killed one you could have invited your friends over for dinner, and when they asked what you're fixing you could say "road kill".
I just learned last night that my redneck relatives purchased a turkey to fatten up for the Thanksgiving time frame but them my little cousin named it so they ate the chickens instead. I will have you know I had a pet rabbit when I was little and I named it... that didn't stop my uncle from cooking it.
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