Cheese= magic

When I flipped on the telly last night, I caught (on the Travel Channel, I believe it was) the tail end of a program about cheese. I was very disappointed with my inability to catch the program in its entirety as I am a big fan of the subject matter. One interesting thing I did learn was that scientists (FOOD SCIENTISTS) are working on ways to make cheese healthier (oh frabjous day!!). For instance, by altering the dairy cows' diet, they may be able to increase the levels of the "good fat" in the already fatty fatty fat cheese. Also, they are going to pimp out the cheese with that macrobiotic goodness that they enhance lotsa the yogurt with nowadays. Is "macrobiotic" the term I'm diggin' for here?? Hmmm...not sure. You get the gist anyhow.
They closed the program with several cheese experts discussing their feelings about cheese. One of these guys said "Cheese is MAGIC"--well, actually I'm condensing & paraphrasing his comments quite a bit....but that was essentially his viewpoint on the topic. . .and I SO agree with him!

I continued on with more food themed programming and tuned into this Food Network challenge where these cake artisans competed to bake the b-day cake for Miley Cyrus's Sweet 16 bash. OOOooh, mucho prestigio, no?? Not sure that artisans is precisely what they are-- perhaps artistes would be more accurate?? Well, whatever the preferred nomenclature, they are pros at making very HUGE , very ornate cakes. Fondant virtuosos. (I've never had fondant. Et vous?? I hear it's yucky...)
I've watched Food Network's cake challenges a few times before, and I'm always vexed by this one segment of the show, after the clock runs out and the cakes are complete, where they make this big deal ceremony out of transporting the finished product from the kitchens to the display table. Aside from being somewhat excruciating to watch, it irks me with its air of contrived suspense. I always think about how much niftier it would be to assemble the cake on a work table with locking casters-- locked during assembly, then unlock and wheel the cake forth for judging. Ahh well. I suppose it's important for these folks to show that they can craft relatively semi-portable creations. Still..it irks me nonetheless.

Oh, by the way, my fave cake won the challenge. There was this other team that had a promising cake--their biggest tier was covered with this terribly impressive hand-piped scrollwork. But then they unveiled their pièce de résistance and it was really atrocious. It was this sculpture-cum-cakestand that was supposed to look like the birthday girl but it was such a monstrosity it singlehandedly ruined their shot.

Later I tuned into TV Land's High School Reunion. I've been besieged by promos for it, which I succumbed to because I genuinely enjoyed the last season of HSR that TV Land put out. Seems like that was a while ago.. Did y'all watch that "cycle"?? It had the easygoing bi chick and Matt, the weepy jock-widower?? Well, I didn't think the current season's crop of alums looked quite as promising as the last but I am withholding my final verdict right now (I endeavor to be just). Overall, it was an enjoyable enough way to pass an hour. Some bulletpointed observations--

• The dude who was omni-present in all the promos --"The Player"? He has yet to make an appearance.
• They have a more racially diverse alumni class than last season
• During the opening credits, they show all the yearbook picks and rattle off the corresponding h.s. stereotype for each alum. So they've got "The Cheerleader", "The Cowboy", "The All-Star" etc. Well, I did a double take when they snuck in "THE PREGNANT GIRL". Really? Wow, edgy. The more I think about it, the more I take offense on Shalonda's behalf (Shalonda--that's "the pregnant girl" or, uhh, ex-pregnant girl, I guess)
• They are continuing a tradition of having 1 divorced couple amongst the crew of alums. This must be HSR's go-to recipe for draaaaa-maa! Although this round's divorcees--Tom&Kara--seem sane and rather likable, so I suspect their drama will not be half so dramatic as last season's Mike & Lana. Oooh...that Lana. She was a rabid mega-bitch, fer sure. Toootally!
• The most errr.. noticeable alum so far is Jessica. She is the proverbial ugly-duckling-turned-swan, except in her case it's an ugly-duckling-turned-bunny (Playboy bunny, that is). Y'know, I don't have a problem with her being a playmate, nor do I care much that her wardrobe takes "micro-mini" to a whole 'nuthah level. But what is grating is that..by all outer indications...she is chronically vapid. Just as vapid as her big fake hooters and puffy futon mattress lips would have you believe she might be. I thought being an ugly duckling was supposed to build character??

Oh, I almost forgot last night's most remarkable TV discovery-- Phil's Music Extravaganza. There's this dude on CATV 8 public access that usually does a show from his workshop. He goes through his collection of wooden creations he's made (mostly whirligig lawn decor) and does a little exposition on their features & what not. The guy (Phil) does nice work, but he's not exceedingly eloquent and has this WICKED Yankee accent. It makes for some kinda funny TV (I'd bet if I got stoned I would find it just inexpressibly amusing) and usually when I flip onto it by chance (since, offhand, I have no idea when his show airs) it usually captures my attention for about 5minutes. Well that's all I thought ol' Phil had to offer. . .until last night. Last night, I'm flipping around after HSR and I see Phil in a totally different setting than the workshop. And then I note that he's attired in a radically different fashion than I usually see(in his workshop he usually dons a flannel shirt...on this "music extravaganza" he's got on a Hawaiian shirt & straw fedora. Woooot woo!) He turns on a nearby boombox and commences to PLAY TAMBOURINE ALONG WITH HIS FAVORITE CDs. Add to that a little dancing. Throw in some really bad harmonica playing.... It was awesome. That will have to suffice, but really words cannot encapsulate the spectacle. That's why I'm so pissed with catv 8. Their website has 216 videos of their various shows and it seems like 214 of those offerings are vids of televised Town Meetings. Town meeting, schmown schmeeting!! If I wanted to get bored to tears by a flippin' town meeting then I'd go to one!! When I saw that catv was technologically sophisticated enough to have video clips online--you can get their podcast thru itunes, for fuck's sake!-- then I thought (fleetingly) that I had a good chance of sharing with yous the wonder that is Phil's Music Extravaganza ( I am an embedding fiend, y'know) But no dice, dammit. Let's pretend people read my blog, and I will make-believe entreat of all my legions of devotees to besiege catv with emails demanding that video footage of Phil's Music Extravaganza be posted online. Ahhh, would that it were so...