Everyday in my daily announcements & roll call email I try to include something funny / interesting. I manage this about 3 outta 5 days (not the daily email , it's just the funny/interesting bit that I don't always accomplish) because some days I'm just too swamped/frazzled/in a hurry (or all of the above) to scrounge anything up. So far this week I'm doing well. Yesterday I informed one & all that on Aug11 1992, the ginormous Mall of America opened up in Bloomington, MN. (I added: "So celebrate by making a thoroughly frivolous purchase today--I know I will!!") And I provided a link to the Mall of America website. Consequently, I was pretty hung up on that site yesterday a.m. It's FAB. It's like shopping the Mall of America without all the debt and bothersome walking. Nooo, no, it's not THAT good, I'd still fancy a trip to MN just to hit up this legend. But the site is pretty rad. You can look at the restaurants / storefronts. I was most interested in looking at the eateries. Good food is --of course--crucial when I dine out, but I'm also keen to find a place with the right atmosphere. Tucci Benuch sounds good (they need to post some better photos though) & The Bubba Gump Shrimp co. looks neat. Those are 2 standouts from the restaurants I did check out, but I didn't look at 'em all (I was AT WORK, for Pete's Dragon's sake!!)
Oh, and you linkaphobic link-skippahs (you knows who you are) don't know what you're missing!! You shall never experience thrills of virtual-vicarious shopping like this anywhere else!!
I thought it was odd, that with all the many & varied amenities that the MOA has to offer, they don't have an attached hotel. They don't appear to anyhow. Oh, I know there are probably beaucoup hotels in the neighborhood, but still, how handy would it be to have your hotel within or attached to the MOA?? Shop for a few hours, go back to your room and take a nap, shop for several more hours, go back to your room for a smaller siesta and a shower to wash the shopping stink off ya, then dinner at Bubba Gumps!! Sweet right? I don't understand why they'd just rely on area hotels for their shoppers and not have one of their own...did they think it would be too much? Not f-ing likely--this is a mall with AN AMUSEMENT PARK in the middle of it.
Today's nugget of interest was that Aug 12th is commonly known in England as "The Glorious Twelfth" thus called because it is the first day of the season for hunting ptarmigan & red grouse. ("It's a bad day to be a ptarmigan, folks.." I proclaimed) From what I've read , grouse is more popular game. But I am just fixated on the ptarmigan aspect of the thing, you know. Obviously because of the great comic potential the word "ptarmigan" innately holds. I know how to properly say it , and yet I am strongly compelled to pronounce that silent p.
In a quasi-related story, I saw some partridges this weekend at my folk's house. Alas, I was unarmed or else I coulda supped on wild game. Hmm well..I suppose I could have judo-chopped them to death...
This girl Eileen that I work with confided to me that she had a miserable weekend because her bf of 4yrs dumped her. I spoke some words of encouragement, but inwardly this made me rather glum as this was the first I'd heard of her b.f. and,well, to put it bluntly, if a dweeb like Eileen can have a boyfriend for 4years then well, oh god there has to be some sort of curse that an angry fairy put on me when I was a baby!! There is just NO other sensible explanation!!
That kind of reaction--my assessing someone else's sad situation and instantly taking an "Ok, well now how does this relate to ME??" approach--well it just goes to show you that Eileen probably should not be confiding in me. Oh that and the fact that I'm writing about her private shit on my blog. Y'know, in lieu of having my own private shit to broadcast.
This afternoon this really nice coworker of mine (I know, I know they're ALL so g-d nice..) Denise brought in an old copy of "The Rules" for Eileen that she'd picked up for her at a 2nd hand bookstore. We were congregated around my desk laughing about it. I was particularly amused by some book jacket hype that promised that "The Rules will help you to become 'a creature like no other'" Hmm. Is that what I need?? GODZILLA was a creature like no other....
The rest of the workday was pretty uneventful. After work I went to The Dollar Tree --I bought candy for my desk at work. ( I'll suck up a bit... but not in excess of $1 per bag worth of sucking up ) My candy choices: Ferrara Pan Assorted Fruit Sours (Lemonheads, Grapeheads, etc) Bit O' Honeys, & some kinda mini lollipops (brand name/ maker escapes me right now). I went to Borders and resisted buying 2 novels (which I felt I HAD TO on account of a Buy 1 get the 2nd 1/2 Price *on select titles sale they had goin' on). I always consider book purchases exempt from being coded as "Naughty Spending" because the mental/intellectual gain to be had by reading trumps any financial frivolity I may be guilty of. But this afternoon I was thinking this was a bit of a cop-out and thinking that perhaps I should start patronizing a library (considered this right there in Borders--can you believe the SACRILIGE??) Still, I ended up buying Schott's Almanac (justified it as a "for work" buy...for use in my daily emails) and a sheet of that fancy Paperchase brand wrapping paper (SOOO not a good value) for to wrap up my Aunt 'Rainey's b-day goods. And after that, I went to Price Chopper. I had this sudden sensation, this neat feeling of having all my shit together...but it was on a very microcosmic scope, as this was just on account of my finally having a Price Chopper card & my remembering to fetch my reusable grocery sack from my car..y'see I have had 2 bags (not canvas ones...think they're some vinyl weave or something..got 'em originally at Price Chopper actually) tucked into my behind-the-driver's-seat pocket for months , intending to use them everytime I hit the grocery store--in an effort to be greener. Anways this was the very first time I remembered to use them. As for the card thing...I know I have railed in the past about how wicked grocery stores are in how they try to force you to have their card...but yeah, I now have a Price Chopper card of my own...although I didn't get it thru any machinations of my own. My Dad had always had one but I think it musta gone through the wash one too many times because the thing more or less disintegrated. So for years, they were looking it up from his license. But the last time he went to PC, the cashier was not having it. Sick of typing in license #s I suppose...anyways, she insisted on filling out a replacement app. for him and gave him replacements on the spot. Yep, that's plural : replacements. They gave him 2 wallet cards and 2 mini key ring tag style cards. Perhaps they looked at him and presumed he was a guy that lost stuff all the time. And they would be CORRECTAMUNDO in that presumption. Be that as it may, Dad told me he didn't require that many Price Chopper cards and I could take me one. I like the ones that go on your keys.
So it seems like my not having a Price Chopper card for so many years had LOTS to do with my innate tendency to procrastinate, and maybe only a little to do with the principle of the thing. Because when there was a card up for grabs...I didn't hesitate to grab it. But for the record..I still think they're bullshit.
Anyways, I had felt this happy surge of having my shit together style contentedness. Though I reflected that if I really had ALL my shit together for a prolonged period of time ...I probably couldn't bear it. It would be too much of a good thing. The emotional equivalent of staring at the sun.
I bought at Price Chopper: 2 fillets of tillapia, a bag of little potatoes of varying hues, a small tub of Reduced Fat Philadelphia cream cheese, 1 onion bagel, a bag of brussels sprouts, 1 bulb of garlic. There were, amongst my purchases, no savings exclusive to AdvantEdge card members. It does not signify. I had it at the ready, and that is what counts.
I took 12A through Plainfield on the way back. Has anyone else out there driven through Plainfield, NH?? Holla, dawgs! It is really, really, really, seriously, awfully excruciating. Like, more so than the present post, even. You come down off this hill, then it's a straight shot through this sleepy little town with NOTHING IN IT. Nary a stoplight. And the speed limit is 30mph. And for some reason, it feels slower than when I'm going 25mph through Windsor ...I guess because I can see the point to that..there's traffic, and traffic lights, pedestrians, etc. It's really hard for me to maintain 30mph in Plainfield...I actually set my cruise control. And it feels like my car is just going to putt-putt-putt to a stop and commence snoozing. And then, when I reach that 40mph speed limit sign at the edge of town, I get all inordinately euphoric ("Oh FRABJOUS DAY!! Callooo! Callay!!") And I zipped away rocking out to Neil Diamond's "Solitary Man", a gem in the Diamond catalog (haa! SO punny!) that does not get its due, I feel.
Another song I heard on the road this evening was "Ebony & Ivory". That's a great sing along song...though I was a little sheepish when I pulled into the road and was in the middle of a full, fervent belt-out of said song and there was this couple walking their dog and looking at me like I was a grade-A wackadoo. I turned down the volume (on me & the stereo) quite a bit. There are some songs you feel cool about blasting as you cruise around town, and others ehh...not so much.
But still I love "Ebony & Ivory" . Aside, from its excellent singalongability properties, I also like that it makes me think of black & white cookies and Joe Piscopo. Black & white cookies are not only delicious (but don't get them at Shaw's ...my local Shaws makes lousy b&w cookies...and that's probably the same with all Shaws bakeries, the whole chain-wide) but they also pack a very wise message about racial harmony that you don't see in most baked goods. As for the Joe Piscopo connection, I am thinking specifically of THIS...(the best thing the guy has ever done..embedded below is 3.5 minutes that encapsule the very pinnacle of Piscopo's career)
See more funny videos at Funny or Die
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