About 4 this afternoon there was sort of a lull in activity and (*miraculously*) nobody hovering about my desk, and so I hazarded a little online shopping.
I had spotted this in a tacky catalog that my folks get in the mail and decided it was a MUST for mi padre. He has this very gruff way of talking to waitstaff...well, I should specify, he is gruff with almost all waitstaff/ food service people with the exception of when he goes out to a sit-down family-style restaurant when there's a tip-grubbin' waitress who is sickeningly flirty. That subdues his usual gruffness. And I should also add, in his defense, I don't know if he realizes how crab-ass and brusque he comes off. I don't think it's a deliberate thing.
Anyways, when requesting his senior discount at a restaurant (oftentimes, KFC is the eatery in this scenario) my father in this heady thrill of entitlement, seems to think that he doesn't need to ask for this using an entire sentence. The exchange invariably goes somethin' like:
DAD: Yeah, could I please get a small coffee, a chicken pot pie, a number 4 and a small Pepsi .
FAST FOOD FLUNKY: Ok, that's one small coffee, a chicken pot pie, a number 4 and a small Pepsi. Will there be anything else??
DAD: No that's it {small pause} SENIOR, PLEASE.
FFF: I'm sorry, sir? What?
DAD: SENIOR , PLEASE.
Alright, so it's not the most fascinating bit o' dialogue, and probably not worth the digital exertion of typing it out. But really, I assure y'all, when you witness that, delivered by my father (in full gruff restaurant persona) it is truly wince-inducing. My transcript doesn't do it justice.
So I have ordered him that hat. I am hoping it will become his custom to order and then just point at his head-garb...which is rude, but still a slight improvement.
No comments:
Post a Comment