I have a cute little property damage anecdote to share. Promise not to tell , 'kay??
My dad gave himself a 4wheeler for Father's Day. Bought a used 2004 from someone who advertised it in the free " It's Classified"paper. And actually he will tell you it was a Father's Day gift from my mom,and he thinks that simply because when he was contemplating buying it she input "Yeah. Whatever. Go ahead." Anyways, it was out front the other day because he had washed it then parked it on the lawn to dry in the sun. By the time I got home after work, it was just about dried off and he had proceeded to wash the car. So I decided to ride the 4wheeler around the house a few times. The real fun ride is to take the trail up the mountain, but I wouldn't dare do that. I did it before, but only riding on the back and trusting my Dad to drive... it was cool . The woods are gorgeous and it's the awe-inspiring sensation of a scenic hike without the strenous bother of actual hiking. Felt like he was going along at a pretty zippy pace too, and that was a bit of a rush. But as for me driving up the mountain trail? Aw hells no.. When I imagine that scenario (even when hypothetically going at a less-than-zippy pace) it always ends with myself & 4wheeler tipped over my legs smashed and pinned to the earth by the 4wheeler and possibly my skull cracked open on a rock. So yeah..laps around the casa are as daring as I get at this point. And I even try to confine these laps to perfectly flat land. Anyways, I believe it was on my third lap when I managed this total bonehead move....
I hit the clothesline. The clothesline is at the back of my folks' house --a 7 or 8ft tall T-post anchored underground by a cement T-post anchor chunk, and from the top bar of that post, clotheslines run over to eyelets screwed in to the edge of the patio roof. Directly behind the Tpost is a big hill. So on previous laps I had driven right under the clotheslines on flat land, but on the third lap I was feeling a bit cocky. Just not cocky enough it seems. As I neared it I thought ,"Yeah, this time I'm going *behind* the post...just to mix it up" Now, I realized that this move would have me tilted uphill at like a 45 degree angle, but I was all chockablock with chutzpah in that instant and I was gonna go for it. In the next instant though, fear of capsizing gripped me and I steered toward flat land. Physically, I split the difference and hit the clothesline pole. If I had kept up the nerve to follow through OR chickened out sooner, this all would've been avoided. Ahh well. It was funny. I just know what look I had on my face too. My mouth was locked in this cartoonish "o" of surprise. Classic!
Of course, this collision made me want to holler "Oh F----!" but all this time, my Dad is washing cars out front, blissfully unaware of the calamity transpiring in the backyard. And I instantly decided to keep him blissfully unaware. I backed up and parked the 4wheeler and quickly inspected it for any signs of damage. Thankfully, there was not a scratch on it. The clothesline post was not dented or even slightly dinged...but there was the small matter of it now leaning drastically to the right. So I yanked it back upright as best as I could (and as quickly as I could) but wasn't able to get it absolutely straight. Of course, I had never paid close enough to the clothesline to know whether or not it had been leaning pre-incident. I hope it was. After doing my hurried best to fix the post, I hopped back on the 4wheeler and continued on my lap. Now here's the really bad part...the sin piece de resistance, if you will. After I'd come around front I parked the 4wheeler and was headed in the house my Dad sez to me " You were stopped back there...you have trouble??" OY..so he had been somewhat paying attention...at least listening to my progress anyway. So it's my perfect opening to just come clean right (the truth shall set thee free & all that,right??)?? Ahh well no.. I'm a ginormous LIAR actually. I said "Oh. Yeah. I have trouble shifting this thing!!"
But I told my sister about it the other night when we went out to dinner. And now I've told you. I'm half repentant and half really amused by the whole thing...
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