Today was my first day back to work after a week off. Actually I took a week & a day off, 48 glorious ETO hours. The smart thing to do, I see retrospectively, would've been to take last week+today off. But I took 8/20 off and then 8/23-8/27. If I'd worked on 8/20, it would've given me a smidge more time to tie up pre-vaca loose ends...as it was, I wound up staying until 10 of 6 on Thurs 8/19 trying to do just that (I'm supposed to get out @ 4:30pm) If I'd taken today off instead, I might not have woken up this morning bellowing the surliest "Fuuuuuuuuuck!" ever bellowed by a human larynx. Sure, I would've only been postponing the inevitable return-to-work shitstorm by 1 day, but I woud've had two 4day weeks in a row. That woulda been marvy. But a damned moot point now, eh?
Well, when I was off, it seems like everything that coulda gone wrong DID. OK, there was no zombie-pocalypse. But everything else went wrong. I got a lot of "SIIIIIGH!! I am SO GLAD you are back!" I figure that was about 10% people genuinely missing the wonderful me-ness of me, and 90% people terribly put out at having to encounter some of that downhill-rolling shit that I am generall poised at the bottom of the hill to field. I suppose that's job security right? Should be reassuring. Empirically, I see how it could be, how I really ought to perceive it in today's economy. But truly, I just find it annoying. It vexes me that I can't take time off with having to beg, and bargain, and beg some more to get any coverage for my duties, and I still come back to a load of catch -up and bonus damage control work.
What is the name of the superpower of materializing matter out of nothing? Most superpowers have a concise, one word name,(flight, telekinesis, superstrength, etc etc) so that one ought to as well , si? I only mention this because I'm thinking that that super power would be the very best way to become obscenely rich without working for it (and that is MY DREAM, y'know) There's being an heiress, but really I could do without hassles from the paparazzi. Or you could rake in beaucoup $$ from a lawsuit of some sort, but the legal arbitration while it lasted could be work, of sorts. Plus if you have grounds for a big moolah settlement, chances are you are very sick or gimpy. So, conjuring currency out of nothing...that's the *ultimate* means to my fantasy fortune. I mean, when you needed to procure a luxe suite at the Chateau Marmont, you just find a shadowy nook of the lobby, scrunch up your forehead and then, moments later pile up a few stacks of benjis on the check -in counter. You pay up front with cash you can book your room under any loco pseudonym you wanna. Theophilus Thogmartin. Petra VanDerTaco. Whatever. And ohmigod, the tax perks--the IRS wouldn't have nothin' on ya. Also, cool--it would enable me to carry around a fashionable empty purse , and just Mary Poppins stuff out of it as needed. I mean, that's no minor perk, you have no idea how heavy my purses are at times!! Often, when I park it on the passenger's seat, the unbuckled passenger light flashes while I drive around. Yeah, I've contemplated the if-you-could-have-any-superpower-what-would-you-pick? question (which, astoundingly, is NOT on the Proust Questionnaire...totally seems like it would be) and super strength & telekinesis immediately sprang to mind in the past (NOT telepathy--which would just be an abyssmally DEPRESSING superpower). But I've changed my mind. Materialism is my pick...or would you call it conjuring? That doesn't sound right. I'm going to call it "Mary Poppinsing" until I get some official terminology.
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