Wednesday, May 19, 2010

Pants, pants, pants, pants, fabulous PAAAANTS

I really do—for the most part--- like the pants I have on today. They’re a good pale shade khaki, and they fit me just perfectly thru the thgh & leg. But HOLY MOTHEROFPETE’SDRAGON are they tight around the gut!! I mean, it’s not only that the inner seams are embossed on my epidermis, but I think I might wind up with hairline fractures to my pelvic bone!! DAMN! I wonder if anyone has ever suffered organ dislocation due to too-tight pants.

And forget the “muffin-top” , I’ve got like, a “soufflé-top” going on (tell me: would Pop-over top have been a more comical/ effective metaphor??) I’ve even unbuttoned the top two buttons of my button-fly. Yep, right here at work. It pained me to do so (as I am generally a PARAGON of propriety) but it pained me even more not to do so…

But hey.. I lost 0.6 of a pound in the past week. If I keep going at this rate, these pantalones will be downright comfy in 9 or 10 years.

1 comment:

Jill said...

I have suffered a dislocated spleen due to too-tight capris...still recovering.

Oh, and BTW (yep...BTW) I like souffle top over pop-over top.