it's the DUDE, Dude!!

The cream of today's celebrity birthday crop..... JEFF BRIDGES!!! So happy day to Jeffy & congrats on turning 57 & having me like him better than I like Jethro from the Beverly Hillbillies & Tyra Banks. In the celebrity word association game in my mind "Jeff Bridges" always makes me think "Kurt Russell"...it's weird. The two are inextricably linked in my mind...as are Bill Paxton and Bill Pullman..for obvious reasons with the 2 bland Bills. But the only reason I can think of why I would associate the "meh" not-so-great Kurt Russell with the magnificent Jeff Bridges is a similarity of hairdo. WHY do I judge Jeff Bridges as so superior to Kurt Russell, you may well ask? Well as I proclaimed in the subject line--"it's the DUDE, dude!" Yes, Jeff Bridges will always be, in my heart, "The Dude" from The Big Lebowski. OR His Dudeness, or uh, Duder, or El Duderino if you're not into the whole brevity thing. (ha ha) If Jeff Bridges does not think that "The Big Lebowski" is the best thing he's ever done in his career than I am inclined to knock the guy upside the head with a cricket bat. But as it's his birthday, I'll be a nice gal and aim for the ass. Although I do have lousy aim. So I guess it's lucky for Jeff Bridges that I do not possess a cricket bat. Unless of course he agrees with me (then my possession/lack of possession is a moot issue) and he should agree damn it because "THE BIG LEBOWSKI" IS A CLASSIC FOR ALL TIME!! Yes, I am a fan of that film. Probably if I had seen that film where JB gets romantically involved with (uggh--gag!) Barbara Streisand, he'd lose major cool points with me but on the other hand I love a little action flick he did called "Blown Away" (and I usually dislike action movies) because that has Tommy Lee Jones (*awesome*) doing an Irish accent (*even awesomer*) while Jeff is rocking a Boston accent wicked haaaaahd. So that's 2 great films to 1 probably lousy film plus Jeff Bridges looks better in Kurt Russell's hair than Kurt does, so overall, I like me some Jeff Bridges.
WOW...that might be my longest celeb b-day diatribe to date, and I'm not even that much of a Jeff Bridges fan. Honestly! I think I was just a-hankerin' to perpetrate some run-on sentences and found me a good vehicle for that craving. I feel oddly gratified.

In NON-celebrity birthdays my Aunt Sandi turns 60 today!! Happy happy Birthday Aunt Sandi! I love her a lot more than Jeff Bridges, who never once knitted me a matching scarf & mitten set (for my b-day 2 yrs ago...and-*BONUS POINTS*- she'd listened to me when I ranted that they don't have mittens connected on a cord for adults....and...GUESS WHAT.... there is now 1 pair of {handmade} adult cord-connected mittens...and they're mine..ALL MIIIINE!)

I took my mum to Keene yesterday on a Christmas shopping expedition. We went to Target where, in the cheapie section (the dollar bonanza area where not everything is a dollar but most of it is) I bought a tabletop tree & trimmings for my cubby. It is a silver tinsel tree and I have a silver bow on top, pink maribou garland, and multi-colored mini disco balls hanging off it. It is a cheap and gaudy disco tree but I can't stop gazing at it lovingly. Ohhh, what $2.50 will get you at Target! It's sublime, I love it, love it, loooove it. My only gripe (and it pains me to critique you Target...you know I'm only hard on you because I love you so much, right?) is this Archer Farms brand trail mix I got. I got the Chocolate Cranberry Crunch mix, which has milk chocolate covered cranberries (YUM) raisins (also yum) almonds (yum) dried pineapple, walnuts (I hate walnuts...but had prepared myself to avoid these) & soybeans (err, Ok..) Now first off, if the damn walnuts are going to monopolize this trail mix, than I feel they should be included in the title "Walnut & Choco-Cranberry Crunch"...something like that. But whatever, that's a minor quibble. The dried pineapple--BLEECCCCH. Usually I like dried pineapple. This...I'm not even sure that it's actual fruit. And my BIG gripe-- and I guess this would be a fault of most brands' nutty trail mixes (although I expect more from a Target brand hence the ginormity of my disappointment, see??) Ok, if nuts are on their own or in a snack melange of nuts only salting is great, preferable even. But, in the capacity of bringin' the CRUNCH to a trail mix with a lot of sweet elements...NIX THE SALT. These chocolate covered cranberries are delish, but your gross ineptitude , Archer Farms LLC, has forced me to rob the paintbrush off a new watercolor paint set that I was going to give as a stocking stuffer to my niece( but that idea's shot to hell now isn't it?) and sweep off the fine dusting of salt from each and every choco-cranberry. That's very labor intensive, Archer Farms! And are YOU going to buy my niece a new watercolor paint set?
Ok all that shit about the watercolor paint set sans brush was just improvised LIES so's I could knock off a few more run-ons. HOWEVER, I really do hate salt on my chocolate covered cranberries, and raisins , (and I'd hate it on the dried pineapple too if that weren't grody to begin with) And I have been trying to de-coat the cranberries as I eat them (the raisins, however, are too crevice-covered to be thoroughly de-salted damn you!) I have been blowing on them. And probably thereby arousing every male in the vicinity of my cubicle. And hey, what can I do but just glance at their crotch, shrug and tell them they can thank Archer Farms LLC for their discomfort and embarrassment. I don't know if Archer Farms is an LLC . Or an INC. I really have no f-ing clue.