Inept Self-Portraiture

I am not doing so good with my vows of frugality. Yup, in this very forum, about a month ago, I said that "MONASTIC" was the official lifestyle motif for 2011. And I did use the all-caps for emphasis (I did! Check it..) I know it's all believable when I "SHOUT" like that and I suppose it does mean I'm really feelin' it at the time, but y'all should know...my will is weak. I'd all-caps that "weak" but I've lost all credibility now, haven't I?
I do live very spartan-like for a while, and then when I get paid...I get all giddy & indulgent. Now this is only every other paycheck, though...the last paycheck of the month, I can barely touch because >50% of it goes to rent. If I wasn't so paycheck-to-paycheck, if I was able to indulge a bit every week, then perhaps it would be such a huge occasion to get a bit of "mad money"... Ohhh, sometimes I think I need a life coach... or a case worker (yeah...case worker...that sounds cheaper). Better financial planning is what I need...in lieu of a better paying job.


But y'know--fuck it. What's done is done...wallowing in a marinade of my own guilt is just too stereotypical Catholic of me. And I had a great weekend. I think the bulk of my spending was on drinks & dinner with friends. And I feel like if you're going to piss away $$$, that is the absolute worthiest cause. Not just drinks & apps necessarily, but on show tickets, and museum admissions etc. etc. In other words...waste your money on good times, not goods. Probably you don't *need* a new purse...but I think you absolutely DO need to get out and socialize from time to time.
Brief timeline of my weekend--
Thursday night--dinner& drinks @ Jesse's . Me, Roxy B & Sue. Delish chipotle sirloin, beer, & open mic night
Fri night-- happy hour @ Ramunto's w/ Linette. Their wings are outta sight. In my defense, this was a somewhat thrifty outing as Ramunto's has 1/2 price apps & $2 drafts for happy hour.
Saturday--got my nails done with Roxanne, lunch @ Molly's & walked around Hanover a bit.
Sunday--spent ZERO DINERO!! See, God-like, I give it a rest for a day. Had a V-tines day dinner @ my sister's

Ok, so getting my nails done was the very apex of my frivolity. It's not like I just stopped at a manicure. No, I got gel tips w/ French manicure. That's like, the Rolls Royce of falsies...it was like sayin' "forget indulging, I'm gonna indulge to the max" And , as if to underscore my extremist mood, I got 'em the longest I've ever gotten them. The more I stare at 'em the more I think...humans don't ever grow their nails *this* long naturally. But then again... let's not forget those freaky broads in the Guiness Book of World Records. That makes me feel a smidge better.
Early Sunday afternoon, I wanted to re-do my FB profile to showcase my goooorgeous new GLAMOUR TALONS . It was re-gawdamn-donkulous how many "takes" it took me to achieve something halfway acceptable. Here is my blooper reel...

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Obviously, I'm mugging for the camera in these shots. I hope it's obvious..I hope none of you think I'm so moronic and oblivious that this is my idea of a genuine glamour shot.

I snapped them using the web cam on my laptop. I was sitting above the camera, so looking at the spot where I knew the lens was had me looking down and they looked weird. I found that if I looked straight forward, it was pretty clost to looking at the cam, so my eyes would wander there inadvertantly. I opted, instead, to pick an arbitrary focal point in the room to lock on to..

I put these in chronological order... from first disaster to final, acceptable-ish, end-product.

This one is "A Bad Mime is Miming Grocery Shopping for Invisible Groceries When She Left her Invisible List at Home" Long-ass title but it is rather fitting.

Not enough of the nails in this shot, plus I look mildly miserable.

Too much digital-facial pressure here. I look to be in danger of puncturing a cheek.

I was trying to convey "Ooooh!" in the manner of a fireworks spectator. Instead, I look to be blow-drying the glam-talons

AHH!! MY GEL TIPS ARE POSSESSED BY HOMOCIDAL SPIRITS THAT JUST MADE ME MURDER A PERSON!! THE HORRORRRRRRR!! AAAAGH!!!!

I call this one "I Swear it Was The Dog. Honest!!"

I've been passenger in 1 or 2 seemingly-slow-mo car crashes, and I'm fairly certain this is the face I make the instant of the collision

I finally decided I liked the crossed hands finger fan. But I wasn't crazy about the fucking lunatic face I was making here. It's like right outta "The Shining". Yiiikes!!

And ...SUCCESS...at looong last!!