tools

This morning I got to contemplating paper spikes (which, I discovered after a smidgen of Wikipedia perusal, are more properly referred to as "spindles") This started out because I was laughing at one of the managers because everytime someone from the state pops in for a viz, they always flip their fucking gourds, and get all sorts of panicky. Invariably they do a quick sweep (our managers, not anyone from the state) to make sure everyone knows an auditor is in house and make sure that you have your ID badge on. Now in all these many auditor ambushes I have been present in the office for, only twice have I actually seen these staties and NEVER have any of them frisked me for my badge. But whatev. It was not so much the action I was ridiculing but the excessive hysteria that went with, y'know?

Anyways I sez to Paul, I sez: "You'd think it was a brigade of f-ing STORM TROOPERS" And he replied "They act like it's the Crimson Permanent Assurance" and because I'm a bit of a Python geek, I caught that one right off (& chortled accordingly). I said "That would be AWESOME. Well, if I didn't get hit in the face with a filing cabinet drawer that would be awesome" And this triggered in my noggin some flashbacks of that battle scene. And the old pirate accountant fellahs brandish their paper spindles as rapiers.

And now I sort of want one. Don't know why office supply artifacts should fascinate me so, but they do. I'm imagining the small rush of glee that accompanies finishing a project (really taxing my memory bank on that one...it's been sooo long since I've actually been able to accomplish anything at work) . The physical rite of this is putting that paper in your outbox. There is (or I think there is) a measure of gratification in this task. I would bet that gratification would be amplified if you could be like, " I am sooo very done with this that I'm a-gonna IMPALE the muthafuckaaah!" Don'tcha think?

I don't think I could use a spindle in lieu of my outbox, but I just would like it as a piece of office archaelogy... possibly as a makeshift sword should the occasion arise. I put it on my dream office gizmos wishlist..just below the catchpole.

Speaking of battles, I judge THIS to be highly awesome.

Another banter subject today was Weird Al. I was saying how all of a sudden and apropos of nuttin', my oldest niece & nephew are way in to him . They've got him downloaded onto their iPods..they quote his songs. Oy vey! I don't know if I'm embarrassed for them or just embarrassed (OK, I do know, it's both) I don't wanna be hatin' on W.A., I can't deny that the dude is very clever with his parodies. But he just makes me cringe...it's a little bit to do with his unabashed dweebiness and A LOT to do with the sound of his voice singing. It's an irrational, reflexive kind of response that I feel's unfair of me but still.... I've counseled the kids: it's one thing to like Weird Al, but they really should try to keep it on the down low if at all possible.

Paul posited that Weird Al fandom may be inevitable around a certain age. He could have a point there. Around 1989, I was absolutely sure that UHF was the finest piece of cinema ever put to film. I've since abandoned that notion, but I'm still rather fond of the flick and it is a part of my DVD collection (I know, I know! After deriding the dude just 1 paragraph ago! HYPOCRITE!)

Any whoo, in honor of our "tools" theme, here is one of the movie's choicest nuggets o' parody.

8 times out of 10, when I encounter a spatula, that jingle plays in my head.