Grapes

This morning, the main host of the morning show  I tune in to was talking about his habit of stealing grapes from the produce section.  He recently had a specific situation where he popped 2 grapes in his mouth,  then spotted another shopper giving him a disapproving look.  Annoyed by this disapproving look, he ate 3 more grapes (a gesture of "so there!").  The conversation topic then became, "Is that STEALING??"  The show hosts were about evenly divided on this topic, and same with the listeners who called in.  One of the dumbest arguments, that I cannot believe was so popular was "NO! EVERYBODY does that!!" 

OK, well, eating something you're not going to pay for is classified as stealing as per the damn definition of stealing. A crime is not rendered a non-crime on the grounds of it being commonplace. And here's why  the funny little morning show banter reemerged in my head: it occurred to me: cheating on your spouse is becoming like eating grapes in the grocery store. Affairs aren't surprising people anymore. They seem to have morphed into just one of the standard potholes in the marital road, whereas they used to be a big fuckin' deal.  I was sitting at lunch, with my two work besties--W. , who grew up with infidelity in her parents' marriage, and R, whose 2nd marriage broke up due to her ex running off with another woman. So, I knew they would both have some firsthand insight to offer when I was telling them how my sister called me up sobbing because she discovered today my brother-in-law has been having an affair for over a year..
Oh yeah.  I had a whopper of an entry in the "You Learn Something New Everyday" file for 10/25/2012.

I am absolutely surprised and simultaneously thinking I shouldn't be surprised at all. I've known for a long time that Greg is selfish,  that he "phones it in" as a father, that my sister does all the compromising in that relationship.  He has this way of "doing his own thing" which is not necessarily a bad thing, in the right measure, but he does his own thing  by default...and CONSTANTLY.  All these things make for an excellent cheater, don't they??   And yet, I never expected it from him. It's not that I took him to be too morally upright for such things...noooo, never that.  I actually thought him TOO wrapped up in himself to connect with another woman.  I thought him passionless, and not creative enough for intrigue. I thought he was a dull slob and who the hell else would have him?  And I thought he listened and believed it when we'd gossiped of others' infidelities and my sister insisted she'd kill or castrate him if ever he cheated.

As of our last texts of around 8pm,  she had not killed or castrated him. She did confront him, but  he is not owning up to it.   She can't tell him that his sister told her about it (the sister, even though she is DISGUSTED with Greg, does not want to be excommunicated) so she had confronted him with some scrap of circumstantial evidence and he's denying everything. And it's my niece's 8th birthday and they went out for a nice family dinner at The Weathervane.  She texted me that they're make-believing all is OK and she feels sick.  And I replied: I don't know how u r holding back from ripping the oars off the wall & bludgeoning the fucker.

Well, having lunch with her tomorrow. I have no idea what to say to her.  Talking to her on the phone today, I feel like I kept parrotting the same dumb phrases--there was "I can't believe that selfish, thoughtless pig asshole"  and the supremely  unhelpful "Holy Shit, whaddareyougonnaDO?"  But I did leave her a nice voicemail...it was basically "Tell me what I can do to help.  I love you."  I think if I just keep telling her that....