We got this fax from "The Heritage Registry of Who's Who" proclaiming "YOU HAVE BEEN CONSIDERED FOR INCLUSION IN THE HERITAGE REGISTRY OF WHO'S WHO EXECUTIVES AND PROFESSIONALS 2013 EDITION ."
Such bollocks, that. They address a definite "you", but the fax isn't even put to anyone's attention. At least the shyster life insurance sales people stipulate "All Employees" when they pretend that the HR department is faxing us about "tremendous savings on life insurance!!" (They have this ad that is a faux fax cover sheet and it's from "HR Dept" How utterly ridic it would be if anyone on the planet fell for that !! HA)
Anyway these pesky solicitous faxes litter up the table by the fax machine and kinda piss me off. I'm not enraged or anything like that, just irked. It's a douchey way to advertise...they're sucking up MY
resources (toner, paper) and tying up my fax line...how fecking obnoxious!!
Well because I was feeling...like I said, impish today, I didn't instantly toss this into the recycle bin, as usually I do. My first reflex was to fabricate the professional profile and accomplishments of Mr Hugh Janus (Esquire)or Mr Seymour Buttz. But then I thought...What tha shit...am I Bart Simpson?? How sophomoric!!
So I used the name "Trevor Harrison" to fill out the form. "Trevor Harrison" is not some arbitrary handle plucked from the ether, he is (ostensibly) the membership director over there at The Heritage Reg offices. Y'all can see just what I wrote, because after faxing it back, I scanned the thing to myself (so amused was I by my own impistry)
Now here's the dumbass part...after the scan and the fax I was very careful to BE ABSOLUTELY SURE to dispose of this application of Trevor's. I went directly to the secure padlocked shred bin and deposited it therein. Ummm, but I forgot about the fax transmission report. This prints your fax outcome ("Transmitted" or "Failed") over a slightly shrunken image of the first page of your fax. We used to have a copier that printed this page only if your fax failed to transmit (I personally think that a more sensible S.O.P.) but this new printer prints this page everytime.
I have no idea who took that thing off the printer...or who left it--face up --on the table . Nor do I have any idea who might have looked it over while it sat there for hours. Am fervently hoping that none of those people know what my handwriting looks like!! Well , no, on second thought it matters naught if my handwriting was or wasn't recognizable. Pretty much everyone in the office KNOWS I'm the only nutter apt to do such a thing. Though they may be surprised that I bandy about the word cocksucker so freely (none of them that have ridden in a vehicle I was driving would be surprised..but only a few of 'em have had that thrill).
I just have to bank on mass apathy hope that nobody bothered to read it.
This *does*make me grateful that my boss is a lazy oaf that would never deign to touch a fax machine( if ever she had a fax needing faxing ,yours truly would be the sender of it)
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