Punchy Friday & Office Pet Peeves

Before I commence to grousin' about work, let me start off with a dash of positivity.  The best thing about my job (aside from the $$)  is my gaggle of work pals and the oddball banter that can erupt between us.  Now, on Mondays I am no good for banter...I pretty much have the disposition of a wet cat and it's advisable to just leave me be. But there is some good banter to be had Tues-Friday and I definitely  peak on Friday...when I am feeling the "punchiest"

Lemme make with some examples and I do so hope it will provide somewhat of a voyeuristic thrill...

 Bookish banter with Paul...he was stunned by overhearing these 2 coworkers chat about the 50 Shades of Grey series and one of these ladies remarking that these were the first books she's read since high school...

from a week or so ago...

Ok , ok, ok chortles aside...onto the rants.  Here are some of the things that most irk me about life on the cubicle farm...

Mass lunch orders-- I admit, this is a weird thing to be annoyed by.  So the scenario is this-- I get an idea of where to go for lunch (I am struck with "LUNCHSPIRATION", as I call it...yes I really do call it that)  and I mention to my good pal Rox "I wanna order Cantore's to deliver. You in?"  Invariably, Rox proclaims loudmouthedly "WE'RE ORDERING LUNCH FROM CANTORE'S!" The immediate result is about 20 "Oh me too!"s.  The time I intended for my break  is swiftly  approaching, but I've not ordered yet, because Pam & Joanne are looking over the menu, and oh-- maybe Shawna wants to order too.  And, natch, there's a dozen quirks & codicils to Pam's order and Shawna's totally MIA. Then, when everybody's made up their minds, somehow, I wind up with all the cash, doing the ordering.  Someone's order gets fucked up, someone else thinks I tipped excessively...BAAH. Lunch is NOT supposed to be so high-pressure.  I've trained myself now...I will actually email to Rox "I'm getting Cantore's for lunch.  You can order too, but KEEP YOUR DAMN MOUTH SHUT ABOUT IT"

This is even more crotchety of me-- I hate passing around cards for people.  It's not that I don't wanna impart get well wishes or happy birthdays.  I just hate how the circulation of the card devolves into a disorganized clusterfuck.  What they ought to do is..if there is a Happy Birthday card for Joanne, send out an "Email All" email, then open up the distribution list and delete Joanne's email address from it, then broadcast "There is a birthday card for Joanne at so-n-so's desk.  Stop by between now and 3pm on Friday to sign.  We will be giving her the card at 3pm Friday when we have cake in the lunchroom." But that is not how it's done in my office.  They oh-so-cleverly put the card in a manila folder and someone signs it...gives it to another person to sign...and it gets shuttled around the office thusly.  Oh sure, that sounds simple enough, but it always gets to a point when, the card is getting pretty loaded up with signatures and it takes a bit of figuring to see who has & hasn't signed it (to determine whom you should pass it along to) And often you wind up with someone wandering down the aisle , a daft cow, saying "Did you sign this? Did YOU sign this? Card for Joanne--who needs to sign it?"  So me, I get the card and I just take a moment and  figure this out by reading.  Often, I get these cards to sign before Paul will (probl'y 'cause many in the office are put off by Paul). So I would sign, check & verify that there is no Paul scrawl and carry it next door to his desk to him.  He always would sign it and then just immediately bring it right back to me. GRRRRR-- did that burn my toaster strudel!!  I put that in the past tense, because this pattern has ceased.....well, I just don't give him anything to sign anymore.

I also get annoyed by the lack of resourcefulness in my office.  I get the sense that there are just three, maybe four of us who get how to look up information on the internet. It is way more commonplace for somebody to just bellow "WHAT'S THE PHONE NUMBER FOR THE RANDOLPH SENIOR CENTER??"  Are you for real that unevolved? Seriously????

And lastly, but not at all leastly, I am probably getting an ulcer from all the piss-poor spelling & grammar in my coworkers' emails. It aggravates me THAT much.  Proofreading is a dying art form. It really is sickening.  I am even more appalled when I see such sloppiness in management emails.  Dammit, I expect a modicum of education and literacy apparent in folks that make 4X what I do.  Oh, and all of the emails from our intake department are IN ALL CAPS. ALL THE FECKING TIME.  Sometimes a rookie to the agency will question why that is and the explanation often  given is something to the effect of " Oh, well, it was decided , for consistency's sake, that all the case notes they input in the system, would be in all caps".  Now that is the popular wisdom, but I  never give that answer.  That is a BULLSHIT explanation!! Unacceptable!! If you can't figure out how to disengage your caps lock or if you find disengaging and re-locking too labor intensive well...you are seriously fucking impaired in my estimation.