I was really in a black mood this past Sunday and Monday. I can't quite say why ...perhaps my "humors" got all imbalanced. I mean, I for sure have my issues, but they are all pretty much longstanding issues. I didn't get any *new* ones thrown into the mix recently. It's just that, I have this fundamental sense that the world is a good place and I am a good person and that sense helps me handle aforementioned issues. And then , on Sunday, all of a sudden, I could tell myself that, (world=good/ me=good) and rationally agreed with it, but I just was not at all feelin' it. And I exacerbated the whole thing by dwelling on it, although in my defense, I am inescapably doomed to dwell. Aren't we all? Or maybe it's just me... it plays out thusly : I start dwelling--questioning WTF is up with me, trying to dredge up a bit o' happiness, failing at that, then asking: but am I feeling better now? Maybe incrementally better? Hmmm..no. How 'bout now?Now? Then part of me realizes: the only thing to do is to go on auto pilot, stop obsessing, put it out of your head. It will simply hit you at some point that --hey, the overhead cloud is gone and you gave it the slip without even trying...without even noticing. All very sage counsel, but in summation I instruct myself: DO NOT OBSESS. Is there anything more condusive to obsessing than that, I wonder??
I was right of course... Yesterday (Tues) I was driving. It was sunny. I was singing along top volume to "Dynamite" by Taio Cruz and ...Oh hey...I'm happy now. That's how it goes. But Sunday and Monday I was really trying to FORCE it. And I was thinking on Monday.. I think what would really help is if I had a good cry. But try as I might, I couldn't. Yep, down in the dumpiest depths of the proverbial dumps and I couldn't muster any tears. Oh, wait--that's not true. I squeezed one lone trickle out of my right eye and I think that was from multiple big yawns in rapid succession.
I got to wondering about it--- how did this notion of the "good cry" evolve? (that was, believe it or not, the intended focus of my post before I got carried away with neurotic blathering. Criiiiiikey-- I don't mean for this blog to be a cheap-o therapy alternative) How is a cry "good" for you? Now, from my own personal experience, I have found this to be true. I have felt the...après-sob calm kick in. But *WHYYYY* is that? It's weird to me-- that your troubles and sorrows can pain you less just because some amount of fluid has seeped out of your eyes. Heyyy--(*idea lightbulb*) perhaps it is not the eye leakage but the nasal output that makes things better. It just so happens that many of my "good cries" involve the snot in my noggin fwoooshing forth like the water at Splash Mtn.
Oh, I'm sure there's some dull, science-y reading that would enlighten me ...blah blah blah hormones...endorphines...yadda yadda (can you tell I'm not much of a science buff??) But I am opting to give credit to Marlo Thomas, Rosie Grier, and a little film called "Free to be You & Me" It was well over 20 yrs ago, but I still recall being introduced to this in my formative years---
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