I had my tomatoes sliced & spiced, lettuce washed and bacon starting to fry up in the pan. I got the bread outta the fridge, and I slid the toaster forward on the counter in preparation for plugging it in and toasting...
The commotion of toaster relocation startled A RODENT and caused him to run across the back of my stovetop. I know that brave, level-headed people always say of mousies: "They’re more scared of you than you are of them" I really can’t imagine that my shifting the toaster 11 inches was too awfully terrifying for the critter....however I think probably the BLOOD CURDLING SCREAM that I let out when I saw him did frighten him a bit. It is a damn good thing my landlords were out because this scream was such that any hearer would instantly call 911 and/or a priest. There would be no response of "YIKES—izzat screaming person ok??"--all bystanders would just presume that the situation was too horrific to be attended to by laypeople. You could hear the bowels-loosening terror.
So anyway, after that, I didn’t want to stand there and cook. I threw the semi-cooked bacon in a glass bowl and put it in the fridge, rebagged the bread and threw that in the fridge, threw the frying pan in the sink, shut off the burner, and I really was *throwing* shit around because I wanted to be out of that quadrant of the apartment as quickly as possible. My abode has the added disadvantage of having that very open layout which denies me the small comfort of shutting any doors between me and the vermin....unless I wanted to shut myself in the bathroom but I was not about to let one distasteful encounter make me miss my Wednesday night shows.
So on the menu for dinner that night?? I had tomatoes and lettuce and Diet Coke...also Nerds... I could fetch my box of Nerds from the kitchen without lingering extensively. So the largest part of last night’s fare was Nerds. Yes, yes, it DOES serve me right for being such a colossal candyass.
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| Oh! if only they were as adorable as they appear in kid's books!! Is it VERY wicked of me that I'm gonna stock up on D-Con? |
The following night, I came home from dinner out with a pal, and started hoofing it up the back steps and almost ran into--literally--a raccoon who was assessing the trash can situation on my balcony. Now at this encounter I said "WUUH-AHH!" (pretty much verbatim, that) which sounds wussy but it was not nearly so terror-laden as my mouse scream. It had a little burst of force behind it, but it was not *too* loud. It was similar in tone, really, to one of the nonsensical exclamations James Brown peppered his songs with. "Gooo GAWD y'all!"
After my "WUUH-AHH!" I retreated down the steps back to my car. I paused...he looked like he clearly wanted to leave my presence, though it occurred to me if he crawled down the stairs we would pass on the stairs as I re-ascended. I called up to him "Hey you, you get off my deck wouldja? C'mon dude!!" coming off all calm and amicable all of a sudden. He hopped down to the roof of the carport and we locked eyes. I like to think, in that moment, we had a little telepathic exchange --
ME: Going forward, don't even try it, buddy. I tie down my can lids pretty tightly.
ROCKY: No worries. *I* will trouble you no further, but I cannot vouch for my woodland associates.
Not sure why I was so much more threatened by a 2" mouse than by a raccoon. I am going to posit that I was more alert upon returning home (having just been driving) and in the kitchen I was less alert (less alert = more startleable) as I was in an "Mmmm BACON" trance. That, or... I just irrationally fear mice more than I do raccoons.
I wonder what I would do if I happened upon a streaked tenrec?? I did happen upon one online today, and found him temporarily fascinating. I don't know if I'd have the same response to an in-person meeting.
The creature in question (native of Madagascar)---
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