YOU BETTER BE GOOD FOR GOODNESS SAKE!!

Today, my coworker Paul emailed me-- "Whaddya think? Should I send out Krampus cards for the holidays??" Well, I am ashamed to say I had no clue who/what Krampus is/ was. I don't know why I should feel ashamed...there's no reason I should be more educated than your average Jane in regards to European Christmas lore of yore. Nevertheless, I felt well, maybe not ashamed, but "inadequate" is probably the more apt adjective. Anyway for some irrational, emotion-based reason, I didn't write back "Pardon? Who is Krampus?" or something similarly honest. Instead, I looked it up on Wikipedia and then wrote back as if I was savvy all along.

Take momentary detour and read the article I tracked down... be thorough...don't skip the stuff about Zwarte Piet or Knecht Ruprecht...that's good stuff. Cryptozoology meets Christmas--I LOVE it!

Ok, the #1 reason I felt inadequate was that it was *Paul* I was talking to . Paul, whom I've dubbed "know-it-all-Paul". He pretty much knows EVERYTHING. ...probably everything except for the fact that I call him "know-it-all Paul" behind his back. Not widely... only to a select few folks that don't know him. I just don't wanna give you the wrong idea...even if the guy makes me feel comparatively stoooopid, I do NOT trash talk him around the office. I try to abstain from inter-office trash talk entirely. It's SO gauche. On rare occasion maybe, but only when someone really deserves it. But I have veered wildly off topic (only 'cause I was fretting that I'd diminished your good opinion of me... intolerable notion, that..)

So I'm usually at peace with Paul's ominscience...as it makes for stimulating banter. And I do an OK job of intellectually keeping up. In some areas--for instance:science, math, politics-- I am resigned to being behind. But THE KRAMPUS is just the sort of thing I make it my biz to be knowledgeable about. But I knew NONE of that stuff... Krampus, Zwarte Piet, Belsnickel, etc. The name Le Pere Fouettard seemed familiar...but only vaguely. Maaaan, I have been missing out!!

I especially like this bit about old Knecht Ruprecht customs--

"In some of the Ruprecht traditions, the children would be summoned to the door to perform tricks, such as a dance or singing a song to impress upon Santa and Ruprecht that they were indeed good childrewho performed well were given a gift or some treats. Those who performed badly enough or had committed other misdeeds throughout the year were put into Ruprecht's sack and taken away, variously n. Those who performed badly would be beaten soundly by Servant Ruprecht, and those to Ruprecht’s home in the

Black Forest to be consumed later, or to be tossed into a river. In other versions the children must be asleep, and would awake to find their shoes filled with either sweets, coal, or in some cases a stick. Over time, other customs developed: parents giving kids who misbehaved a stick instead of treats and saying that it was a warning from Nikolaus that "unless you improve by Christmas

day[citation needed], Nikolaus' black servant Ruprecht will come and beat you with the stick and you won't get any Christmas gifts." Often there would be variations idiosyncratic to individual families "

Dance, little moppet, dance! Oh, and don't let that DARK ROBED STRANGER WITH A SWITCH affect your performance!! Dark stuff.

THOUGHT: How exciting and epic "The Night Before Christmas" mighta been!! Picture it: "Mama in her Kerchief" and "I in my cap" have to battle a scraggly magical St Nick sidekick hobo guy who was going to abscond with their kids in a wicker backpack??

I leave you with this Krampus celebrating vid. It makes me even more ashamed ...if a crappy, insignifico cable channel like G4 was Krampus-aware, I should've been too!!