I was so chronically hagged out today, I could barely bear it. And I actually, miraculously, saw a cute guy in the vicinity of my office (no one I actually work with..inhabitant of the office next door). Normally, this would be a joyous occasion but today-- with my chapped face, my Mémère slacks on, ill fitting sweater, and tore-up, rolling-down knee highs--AACK! I very nearly dove into my car.
In other unextraordinary news of the day, my iPod surprised me with how very random its random shuffle can be--it played "Nightmare on My Street" during my commute home. That's right-- DJ Jazzy Jeff & the Fresh Prince's masterful foray into horror-comedy. Or comedy-horror. Well, to use the Crayola principle the dominant adjective comes second..(blue green is a green with a bit of blue in it; red orange is an orange with a soupçon of red).so ...horror-comedy it is. Anyways, that song cracks me up ("I'm your DJ now, Princie!!")
Every now and then I just MARVEL at the fact that "The Fresh Prince" and the poised, fairly handsome, big box office draw that is Will Smith are one in the same human being. Also, every now and then, I wonder if DJ Jazzy Jeff is quite as Jazzy as he was back in tha day. What is he up to? Does he ever think to himself--Hey..well, at least I got top billing, eh?
In a total musical 180, I was listening to a classical/opera/showtunes playlist last night (these genres are always in my "Top 25 Played" 'cause I listen to them nightly as I drift off to Slumbertown..or...if you so prefer-- Snoozeville) And I suddenly took notice of Carl Maria von Weber's "Huntsmen's Chorus". I guess I've probably heard it before, I don't know why it didn't strike me previously. I'm kinda smitten with it now.
Wednesday, February 17, 2010
Thursday, February 11, 2010
the sloppy jalopy report
I've been driving my car with the check engine light on for nearly 3wks now (first blinked on & freaked me out back on 1/25). Stupid? For sure...though I'd rather spin it as brash recklessness.
I have noticed a sort of sluggishness in its performance, but this sensation is so subtle, that I wonder if I'm imagining it on account of check-engine-light-induced-paranoia. This sluggishness does seem to occur when my temp gauge is indicating that my car is waay cold. Cars just perform differently in the cold, right? Or it's not unusual for them to anyways...
So I'm driving it under the moronic notion that if the engine was going to undergo a catastrophic failure, it would have done so by now. I've considered cruising into Auto Zone and having them hook it up to the computer & read me a code but I've procrastinated on that because--
1. I'm lazy
2. Dread-- they may tell me (for like, the 3rd time) that it's just a bum O2 sensor which is no major deal...BUT they may also tell me that my car is on the verge of massive, multiple, cataclysmic, nastybad organ failure and about to incur beaucoup repair costs that I can't afford. I'm not tryin' tah hear that, Homes.
3. Just in general-- procrastinating's my favorite. No, it sucks. I know it sucks. But I do it all the time.
So I vacillate between white-knuckled,on-edge driving, expecting the car to shit the proverbial bed at any moment...and half-suspecting that it's just a no-biggie O2 sensor issue again. But everytime I think-- "Yeah...the car's ok" I rebuke myself for the thought. You know how lotsa folks rave about "the power of positive thinking"? Well, I'm a big believer in the negative power of positive thinking. A nutso part of me thinks that such a thought will instantaneously finish my car off. Another example: when driving in bad snow and/or ice, I will sometimes mentally assure myself with a li'l "Doin' good" or something like that, but then I quickly follow it up with: "DON'T be so self-congratulatory!!" To put it concisely- I'm a big believer in the possibility of jinxing myself. Not that I've ever done it... or that I rationally think that it happens... oh, shit, I wasn't all that concise about that, was I??
Believe it or no, there is something to be said for white-knuckled, edgy driving. I have acquired, in the last few weeks, a heightened sense of place. As I drive, I keep mental notes on where I am. Northbound on Rte 120, just passed the cross street of Etna Rd, approaching cross street of Lafayette. This, obviously, is so that when I phone for roadside assistance, I can clearly articulate where to come rescue me.
Also, I'm probably avoiding a lot of aural damage that I would normally be incurring. Usually, I am one to have my music cranked up to the max (to ELEVEN!!) --sometimes rattling my side mirrors, and always loud enough to cover up my singing (that is key) But I've been very uncharacteristically driving with my radio OFF. Y'see I've been straining very hard to try to listen to the under-the-hood innerworkings of my ride....I've even caught myself, when wanting to extra-listen, turning down the volume on the radio that's not on. I fully realize how kinda ridiculous I'm being. I'm not the freakin' "Car Whisperer",after all!! And all I can really hear, while in motion, is the loud thrumming road noise of my winter tires and the rattle of a box of white Tic Tacs I have in my dash cubby. Not terribly informative. But I listen extra hard when idling at a stop light, or letting it idle before I shut it off. And it sounds VERY NORMAL. I'm especially relieved not to hear "THUNKKK!" when I turn it off. I don't know why I'm specifically trepidatious of "THUNKKK!" but yeah, that stole into my head for some odd reason, at some point, and there you have it.
The lack of THUNKKK! & nonominous purr of my idylling engine is , I fear, slooooowly lulling me out of my High Orange Car Terror Alert status. This is bad, because the best thing about white-knuckled ultra-paranoid driving, is that when you DO break down at the side of the road, it's almost a fecking RELIEF. You have sort of a resigned sighing, "Ah well. It's finally done it now, eh?" sort of reaction....as opposed to the "AGH! SHIT! WHAT THE FUCK?" panic that will hit a driver of normal mindset.
In a totally, nonautomotive aside, it occurs to me that my run-on sentence rate was impossibly higher than usual in this post. Please forgive me my rambliness!!
I have noticed a sort of sluggishness in its performance, but this sensation is so subtle, that I wonder if I'm imagining it on account of check-engine-light-induced-paranoia. This sluggishness does seem to occur when my temp gauge is indicating that my car is waay cold. Cars just perform differently in the cold, right? Or it's not unusual for them to anyways...
So I'm driving it under the moronic notion that if the engine was going to undergo a catastrophic failure, it would have done so by now. I've considered cruising into Auto Zone and having them hook it up to the computer & read me a code but I've procrastinated on that because--
1. I'm lazy
2. Dread-- they may tell me (for like, the 3rd time) that it's just a bum O2 sensor which is no major deal...BUT they may also tell me that my car is on the verge of massive, multiple, cataclysmic, nastybad organ failure and about to incur beaucoup repair costs that I can't afford. I'm not tryin' tah hear that, Homes.
3. Just in general-- procrastinating's my favorite. No, it sucks. I know it sucks. But I do it all the time.
So I vacillate between white-knuckled,on-edge driving, expecting the car to shit the proverbial bed at any moment...and half-suspecting that it's just a no-biggie O2 sensor issue again. But everytime I think-- "Yeah...the car's ok" I rebuke myself for the thought. You know how lotsa folks rave about "the power of positive thinking"? Well, I'm a big believer in the negative power of positive thinking. A nutso part of me thinks that such a thought will instantaneously finish my car off. Another example: when driving in bad snow and/or ice, I will sometimes mentally assure myself with a li'l "Doin' good" or something like that, but then I quickly follow it up with: "DON'T be so self-congratulatory!!" To put it concisely- I'm a big believer in the possibility of jinxing myself. Not that I've ever done it... or that I rationally think that it happens... oh, shit, I wasn't all that concise about that, was I??
Believe it or no, there is something to be said for white-knuckled, edgy driving. I have acquired, in the last few weeks, a heightened sense of place. As I drive, I keep mental notes on where I am. Northbound on Rte 120, just passed the cross street of Etna Rd, approaching cross street of Lafayette. This, obviously, is so that when I phone for roadside assistance, I can clearly articulate where to come rescue me.
Also, I'm probably avoiding a lot of aural damage that I would normally be incurring. Usually, I am one to have my music cranked up to the max (to ELEVEN!!) --sometimes rattling my side mirrors, and always loud enough to cover up my singing (that is key) But I've been very uncharacteristically driving with my radio OFF. Y'see I've been straining very hard to try to listen to the under-the-hood innerworkings of my ride....I've even caught myself, when wanting to extra-listen, turning down the volume on the radio that's not on. I fully realize how kinda ridiculous I'm being. I'm not the freakin' "Car Whisperer",after all!! And all I can really hear, while in motion, is the loud thrumming road noise of my winter tires and the rattle of a box of white Tic Tacs I have in my dash cubby. Not terribly informative. But I listen extra hard when idling at a stop light, or letting it idle before I shut it off. And it sounds VERY NORMAL. I'm especially relieved not to hear "THUNKKK!" when I turn it off. I don't know why I'm specifically trepidatious of "THUNKKK!" but yeah, that stole into my head for some odd reason, at some point, and there you have it.
The lack of THUNKKK! & nonominous purr of my idylling engine is , I fear, slooooowly lulling me out of my High Orange Car Terror Alert status. This is bad, because the best thing about white-knuckled ultra-paranoid driving, is that when you DO break down at the side of the road, it's almost a fecking RELIEF. You have sort of a resigned sighing, "Ah well. It's finally done it now, eh?" sort of reaction....as opposed to the "AGH! SHIT! WHAT THE FUCK?" panic that will hit a driver of normal mindset.
In a totally, nonautomotive aside, it occurs to me that my run-on sentence rate was impossibly higher than usual in this post. Please forgive me my rambliness!!
movies in the works
There is to be a remake of The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas. I don't fully condone the Hollywood trend of remaking everything under the sun . But it certainly beats another prevalent biz trend of spinning toys and board games into movies. I feel like, if screenwriters are running out of fresh new movie ideas, the next best option is to start adapting all the novels. Really. I mean--ALL OF THEM. It boggles the mind that there will be movies of LEGOS AND VIEWMASTERS (both in 2012, per IMDB. Oh yes, I should specify: these be 2 **separate** movies. There is no upcoming movie featuring both Legos and Viewmasters . That would be preposterous!!) when there are perfectly enjoyable books out there that haven't been adapted for the big screen. It feels wasteful. It feels wrong. You catch my drift.
But back to this Li'l Whorehouse thing--
Perhaps the movie industry hasn't run out of new ideas completely, but I think it's a given that the reservoir of new ideas is noticeably drying up . So in that case, I suppose remaking old movies isn't the WORST possibility. It's not as good as a novel movie...but it's better than a g.d. Rubik's Cube movie. What I find sort of amusing is the ever-looming "What will they re-hash next??" question. The more weird or obscure the better, I say. So maybe I'll see Best Little Whorehouse. After all, it is purported to be a musical ...and I'm a sucker for musicals (have yet to get around to seeing Nine...but I really wanted to) So maybe I'd see it. Depends on the casting..
Casting is also key to the success of the proposed Nat'l Lampoon's Vacation sequel. That aforelinked article says (citing a Variety article) that Chevy Chase will at least cameo in it as Clark Griswold. That's as it should be--Chevy Chase is the heart of those movies (though I can't vouch for the Vegas one, having skipped it) . Some of the commenters on the article championed Anthony Michael Hall as Rusty. I like that idea, but wonder... can AMH be funny? I mean, I know he used to be funny...damned funny, actually... but can he be funny NOW?? Now that he's come thru his steroids phase, and his voice has changed and he spent gawd-knows how many seasons on that Dead Zone show( <--that had to have sapped him of something, eh?) ?? Oh, I did happen to see the episode of "Community" that he guested on, but he sort of underwhelmed me there. Unfortunately, I really don't think a studio would give a wide theater release to a movie with AMH in a lead role. I wish it would happen though. I do so like to see these blast-from-the-past faves getting work (sincerely!!) This transitions rather nicely to...
The Alicia Silverstone vampire movie. This is reportedly an upcoming project of Amy Heckerling, who is maybe not the hottest property nowadays but a Heckerling movie would be a hell of a lot better for Silverstone than saaaay, popping up on some CW show as somebody's mom as she is near-susceptible to doing. If they crank this out before vamp-mania fades away, it could be a sweet comeback for both star & director.
Lastly...
It probably does not surprise anyone who knows me that I am miiiiighty stoked for this 2011 flick...
But back to this Li'l Whorehouse thing--
Perhaps the movie industry hasn't run out of new ideas completely, but I think it's a given that the reservoir of new ideas is noticeably drying up . So in that case, I suppose remaking old movies isn't the WORST possibility. It's not as good as a novel movie...but it's better than a g.d. Rubik's Cube movie. What I find sort of amusing is the ever-looming "What will they re-hash next??" question. The more weird or obscure the better, I say. So maybe I'll see Best Little Whorehouse. After all, it is purported to be a musical ...and I'm a sucker for musicals (have yet to get around to seeing Nine...but I really wanted to) So maybe I'd see it. Depends on the casting..
Casting is also key to the success of the proposed Nat'l Lampoon's Vacation sequel. That aforelinked article says (citing a Variety article) that Chevy Chase will at least cameo in it as Clark Griswold. That's as it should be--Chevy Chase is the heart of those movies (though I can't vouch for the Vegas one, having skipped it) . Some of the commenters on the article championed Anthony Michael Hall as Rusty. I like that idea, but wonder... can AMH be funny? I mean, I know he used to be funny...damned funny, actually... but can he be funny NOW?? Now that he's come thru his steroids phase, and his voice has changed and he spent gawd-knows how many seasons on that Dead Zone show( <--that had to have sapped him of something, eh?) ?? Oh, I did happen to see the episode of "Community" that he guested on, but he sort of underwhelmed me there. Unfortunately, I really don't think a studio would give a wide theater release to a movie with AMH in a lead role. I wish it would happen though. I do so like to see these blast-from-the-past faves getting work (sincerely!!) This transitions rather nicely to...
The Alicia Silverstone vampire movie. This is reportedly an upcoming project of Amy Heckerling, who is maybe not the hottest property nowadays but a Heckerling movie would be a hell of a lot better for Silverstone than saaaay, popping up on some CW show as somebody's mom as she is near-susceptible to doing. If they crank this out before vamp-mania fades away, it could be a sweet comeback for both star & director.
Lastly...
It probably does not surprise anyone who knows me that I am miiiiighty stoked for this 2011 flick...
Tuesday, February 02, 2010
survey sezzzz
I was browsing a news item somewhere on the comcast site, and spotted a survey. Nothing to do with the news item, just a sidebar thing ..for Valentine's Day, I'm presuming.
Well, I'm quite often game for a survey...provided it's nothing current events related, nothing pithy like that and not being administered by someone accosting me in a mall.
So I voted. See below for a screen cap of the results (thus far)...
I promise 300 awesome points and a prize-yet-to-be-thunk-up-by-me to whomever guesses which song got my vote. . . .
Well, I'm quite often game for a survey...provided it's nothing current events related, nothing pithy like that and not being administered by someone accosting me in a mall.
So I voted. See below for a screen cap of the results (thus far)...
I promise 300 awesome points and a prize-yet-to-be-thunk-up-by-me to whomever guesses which song got my vote. . . .Monday, February 01, 2010
haaa!
Yes, I STILL watch SNL (I am one of the few) and though lately the Digital Shorts have been more “miss” than “hit” for me (Laser Cats, for instance, needs to die) this short from the 1/30 episode cracked me up. Hi-fecking-larious.
I don’t watch Mad Men, but on account of this genius portrayal of “Sergio” I pledge myself a lifelong Jon Hamm fan…
I don’t watch Mad Men, but on account of this genius portrayal of “Sergio” I pledge myself a lifelong Jon Hamm fan…
Sunday, January 31, 2010
ohmigawd...I love this so much but it sooo RUHtarded..
Today is my nephew's birthday. It's not easy for me to shop for boys, but I think I kicked ass this year. I bought him this splendiforous object d'art to adorn his room(did NOT pay $30. for it, please let the record show), and this very apropos tee. And then I got him a used XBox 360 game at Newbury Comics. The kid LOVES football, and even when he's couch taterin' it and engrossed in a video game, 9 times outta 10, he's playing Madden. So I wasn't sure that he'd take to any alternative. But I thought WWE Legends of WrestleMania looked ALL SORTS OF AWESOME, and so I snatched it up for him. He started playing it right off, so perhaps it was a good call. And it's a much, MUCH better spectator video game than Madden (ZZzzz).
I was watching Seth play it this afternoon and I was reminded of how much I used to dig Hulk Hogan's Rock 'n' Wrestling Saturday a.m. cartoon as a young lassie. If wrestling was as spectacularly campy today as it was circa 1985, then I just might deign to watch it. Now there's no kilted loudmouths, or junkyard dogs, or pig-toting hillbillies. Yawwwwn...now they're all just interchangeable badass types. I definitely was more into the characters/WWF mythos than I was into the actual wrestling.
So during this reverie, I recalled some dude always saying "Pencil-neck geek" which is such a funny go-to epithet. Like you're trying to be menacing (I presume) and convey that you're furious and you call someone. . .a geek? Oh no..my bad...that's a pencil-neck geek. Well, that's waaay more scathing. I really ought not criticize, because when I was a kidd-o, (probably until about the age of 6 or 7) my very worst name for me to fling at someone who enraged me was..."stool pigeon" For reals. THAT was my heavy artillery. I don't even know where I got that. WTF-- was I watching Jimmy Cagney movies or something???
Upon returning from Seth's birthday bash, I hastened to the computer to hit up YouTube. I remember the pencil neck geek guy (this was Classy Fred Blassie I've since rediscovered) working it into a song. I remember it verbatim "I'LL SMASH YOU WITH MY CANE, YOU PENCIL-NECK GEEK!!"
I found just what I was after. I just know there was repeated viewings of this in my formative years, because so much of it besides just the pencil neck geek part was oh-so familiar.
This cracks my shit up. I just love it. (my embed be actin' all whack so I shall also provide A LINK to the object of my amusement...my immense amusement) My next mission is to track down a transcript, because I'm curious-- is the Russian character actually saying real words? It just sounds like nonsensical jibba-jabba. Of course nonsensical jibba-jabba and WWF faux Russian are quite possibly the same thing.
I was watching Seth play it this afternoon and I was reminded of how much I used to dig Hulk Hogan's Rock 'n' Wrestling Saturday a.m. cartoon as a young lassie. If wrestling was as spectacularly campy today as it was circa 1985, then I just might deign to watch it. Now there's no kilted loudmouths, or junkyard dogs, or pig-toting hillbillies. Yawwwwn...now they're all just interchangeable badass types. I definitely was more into the characters/WWF mythos than I was into the actual wrestling.
So during this reverie, I recalled some dude always saying "Pencil-neck geek" which is such a funny go-to epithet. Like you're trying to be menacing (I presume) and convey that you're furious and you call someone. . .a geek? Oh no..my bad...that's a pencil-neck geek. Well, that's waaay more scathing. I really ought not criticize, because when I was a kidd-o, (probably until about the age of 6 or 7) my very worst name for me to fling at someone who enraged me was..."stool pigeon" For reals. THAT was my heavy artillery. I don't even know where I got that. WTF-- was I watching Jimmy Cagney movies or something???
Upon returning from Seth's birthday bash, I hastened to the computer to hit up YouTube. I remember the pencil neck geek guy (this was Classy Fred Blassie I've since rediscovered) working it into a song. I remember it verbatim "I'LL SMASH YOU WITH MY CANE, YOU PENCIL-NECK GEEK!!"
I found just what I was after. I just know there was repeated viewings of this in my formative years, because so much of it besides just the pencil neck geek part was oh-so familiar.
This cracks my shit up. I just love it. (my embed be actin' all whack so I shall also provide A LINK to the object of my amusement...my immense amusement) My next mission is to track down a transcript, because I'm curious-- is the Russian character actually saying real words? It just sounds like nonsensical jibba-jabba. Of course nonsensical jibba-jabba and WWF faux Russian are quite possibly the same thing.
Tuesday, January 26, 2010
I'm sad.Send moolah.
Bah... I'm in a foul mood. Certainly not a "black" mood but I've found myself in...I guess one would say..."the doldrums"
I sense my car is near death*. And it's made me philosophical... well, maybe I should choose the adjective "contemplative". "Philosophical" may be putting too grand a spin on it. I mean, did the great philosophers expend a lot of time & great philosophizing on the subject of finances? Philosophy101 is soooo far in my rear view, I honestly can't say. I remember I had a smallish crush on my professor and that's about all I can recollect. Which triggers another recurring worry of mine-- that my mental retention is not what it ought to be. But that's a tangential stressor...my main focus these days being MONEY. That's right: I've got my mind on my money and my money on my mind. Or lack thereof as the case seems to be. I've got my lack of a mind on my lack of money and my lack of money on my lacking mind. FECK.
I sometimes really do get the feeling that money--a nice, sudden, influx of excessive fundage-- would solve all my problems. Rationally, I know it wouldn't solve EVERYTHING. But, dammit, it feels like it would. And let's be real-- it sure wouldn't hurt. I think those people in the "Money can't buy happiness" camp are rather simplistic. Money could at least rent happiness. And that's better than no happiness at all, right? Hey, I don't need to be OBSCENELY RICH (though I can't imagine I'd hate it) I would just like to have enough so that issues like this one with my P.O.S. car didn't loom as this GIANT FUCKING IMPEDIMENT in my mind. Another thing that would be nice would be the ability to travel and not have to mete out just the exact number of ETO days you can afford to take, and not have to dick around with debates like-- lemme see, will I save more money at the Days Inn or the Super 8? If I get a room with a fridge, I can stock it with eats and save money by only dining out for one meal... Sure, there can be a certain thrill to being thrifty, but I imagine you get more of a kick out of it if you really don't *have* to be.
On the other hand, I am not destitute, and my annoying poindexter of a superego is piping up to say "At lot of people are worse off than you!!" Aforesaid superego also wants to point out that my $$ woes are only about 50% attributable to the shitty wage I pull in...the other 50%, I'm sure is due to my own calamitous style of financial planning. And I use the word "planning" VERY loosely in this instance. So all these important points duly noted...but that said ....
My id & ego just want MORE MONEY so it looks like my inner Jiminy Cricket is outnumbered, 2 to 1. I need to shop around for a 2nd job. I'm going to fall into that Catch 22 of having enough money but no time to enjoy it vs conversely, having the time...and no $$ to do anything. Is that a proper Catch 22 ?? I'm sure I learned all about the catch 22 at some point, but the definition has since escaped my sieve-like noggin. Oh, then there's finding that second job and then having no way to get there...which I realize is not a Catch 22....'tis just a downright PISSAH.
* specifics of my car ills- the check engine light popped on. Which I'm apt to be dismissive of ...but the car does feel to me like it's...I dunno...draggy. Like something is stepping on its tail...like it's going uphill all the time... but then I wonder if I'm really sensing the car is driving oddly or if the glow of the check engine light is causing me to imagine it. If the car *is* effed up, I ought not sink more $$ into the heap, I should just find a new car. (but uhhh, see post above re: obstructions to that scheme) I need to find a car that is little to no maintenance (and I mean preventative maintenance too!!) and lasts me forever...which is not going to happen because there is no such car. So maybe if that is too much to ask, how about a car that can specifically tell you WTF is the matter with it? I do believe Modern Science promised us fecking flying Jetson cars by the year 2010, the least they could do toward that end is give us autos that don't have totally nebulous warning lights. I mean, your check engine light comes on, and it could be one of ohhhhh, 3,000 different maladies. But then you take it to Auto Zone, where they can hook up one of their little pocket protecter computers to somewhereabouts under your dash and it burps forth a code. So the car--that sadistic shitass car-- *does* have a more specific idea of what is ailing it!! So why can't we get more specific indicator lights? But nooooo, for 50+ years we have the same, not overly helpful, alarmist set of indicator lights. And I am presently plagued by the worst of them all, which does the equivalent of yelling "AAAAAAAGH! YOUR ENGINE!" Which is especially vexing, since some of the times, the boo boo is not even in the vicinity of the sonofabitchin' engine.
KITT. I need KITT. If David Hasslehoff has custody, there may be hope. Y'know, I happen to have a coupon for $1 . off one Wendy's Baconator in my email inbox....so..you know... perhaps a barter...
I sense my car is near death*. And it's made me philosophical... well, maybe I should choose the adjective "contemplative". "Philosophical" may be putting too grand a spin on it. I mean, did the great philosophers expend a lot of time & great philosophizing on the subject of finances? Philosophy101 is soooo far in my rear view, I honestly can't say. I remember I had a smallish crush on my professor and that's about all I can recollect. Which triggers another recurring worry of mine-- that my mental retention is not what it ought to be. But that's a tangential stressor...my main focus these days being MONEY. That's right: I've got my mind on my money and my money on my mind. Or lack thereof as the case seems to be. I've got my lack of a mind on my lack of money and my lack of money on my lacking mind. FECK.
I sometimes really do get the feeling that money--a nice, sudden, influx of excessive fundage-- would solve all my problems. Rationally, I know it wouldn't solve EVERYTHING. But, dammit, it feels like it would. And let's be real-- it sure wouldn't hurt. I think those people in the "Money can't buy happiness" camp are rather simplistic. Money could at least rent happiness. And that's better than no happiness at all, right? Hey, I don't need to be OBSCENELY RICH (though I can't imagine I'd hate it) I would just like to have enough so that issues like this one with my P.O.S. car didn't loom as this GIANT FUCKING IMPEDIMENT in my mind. Another thing that would be nice would be the ability to travel and not have to mete out just the exact number of ETO days you can afford to take, and not have to dick around with debates like-- lemme see, will I save more money at the Days Inn or the Super 8? If I get a room with a fridge, I can stock it with eats and save money by only dining out for one meal... Sure, there can be a certain thrill to being thrifty, but I imagine you get more of a kick out of it if you really don't *have* to be.
On the other hand, I am not destitute, and my annoying poindexter of a superego is piping up to say "At lot of people are worse off than you!!" Aforesaid superego also wants to point out that my $$ woes are only about 50% attributable to the shitty wage I pull in...the other 50%, I'm sure is due to my own calamitous style of financial planning. And I use the word "planning" VERY loosely in this instance. So all these important points duly noted...but that said ....
My id & ego just want MORE MONEY so it looks like my inner Jiminy Cricket is outnumbered, 2 to 1. I need to shop around for a 2nd job. I'm going to fall into that Catch 22 of having enough money but no time to enjoy it vs conversely, having the time...and no $$ to do anything. Is that a proper Catch 22 ?? I'm sure I learned all about the catch 22 at some point, but the definition has since escaped my sieve-like noggin. Oh, then there's finding that second job and then having no way to get there...which I realize is not a Catch 22....'tis just a downright PISSAH.
* specifics of my car ills- the check engine light popped on. Which I'm apt to be dismissive of ...but the car does feel to me like it's...I dunno...draggy. Like something is stepping on its tail...like it's going uphill all the time... but then I wonder if I'm really sensing the car is driving oddly or if the glow of the check engine light is causing me to imagine it. If the car *is* effed up, I ought not sink more $$ into the heap, I should just find a new car. (but uhhh, see post above re: obstructions to that scheme) I need to find a car that is little to no maintenance (and I mean preventative maintenance too!!) and lasts me forever...which is not going to happen because there is no such car. So maybe if that is too much to ask, how about a car that can specifically tell you WTF is the matter with it? I do believe Modern Science promised us fecking flying Jetson cars by the year 2010, the least they could do toward that end is give us autos that don't have totally nebulous warning lights. I mean, your check engine light comes on, and it could be one of ohhhhh, 3,000 different maladies. But then you take it to Auto Zone, where they can hook up one of their little pocket protecter computers to somewhereabouts under your dash and it burps forth a code. So the car--that sadistic shitass car-- *does* have a more specific idea of what is ailing it!! So why can't we get more specific indicator lights? But nooooo, for 50+ years we have the same, not overly helpful, alarmist set of indicator lights. And I am presently plagued by the worst of them all, which does the equivalent of yelling "AAAAAAAGH! YOUR ENGINE!" Which is especially vexing, since some of the times, the boo boo is not even in the vicinity of the sonofabitchin' engine.
KITT. I need KITT. If David Hasslehoff has custody, there may be hope. Y'know, I happen to have a coupon for $1 . off one Wendy's Baconator in my email inbox....so..you know... perhaps a barter...
Friday, January 22, 2010
super WOOL!!
I got Lucy this Superhero Starter Kit for Christmas and I had to film her getting some use out of it.
bimbo bus
I dunno that I've ever mentioned it, but my office shares a building with a bar. The prestigious (haa) Benning St Bar & Grille/ Electra takes up the front of our building and the VNA offices are ‘round back.
Anyways…I mention this cuz…guess what was parked in the parking lot today? A giant tour bus. Not just *any* giant tour bus—the GIRLS GONE WILD tour bus.
Word on the street (Benning Street, anyhow) is that they're patronizing Electra tonight & tomorrow night. I am soooooome miffed! I had no idea they was coming. Grrrr…what’s the point of my subscribing to the GGW e-newsletter if it’s not gonna get me the advance 411 on such happenin’s?? Had I known the bus was on its way to my 'hood I would have taken care of some overdue pit-scaping. I mean, I can’t very well shed my shirt on camera and then not commence to “raise da roof”--am I right? I mean, shirtless and arms crossed = big time mixed signals. I suppose I could do, side-to-side hillbilly elbows. But with the mid-size shrubberies I’ve got sprouting ‘neath my arms—absolutely *no* roof raising or fist-pumping.
Humiliation would surely ensue.
Anyways…I mention this cuz…guess what was parked in the parking lot today? A giant tour bus. Not just *any* giant tour bus—the GIRLS GONE WILD tour bus.
Word on the street (Benning Street, anyhow) is that they're patronizing Electra tonight & tomorrow night. I am soooooome miffed! I had no idea they was coming. Grrrr…what’s the point of my subscribing to the GGW e-newsletter if it’s not gonna get me the advance 411 on such happenin’s?? Had I known the bus was on its way to my 'hood I would have taken care of some overdue pit-scaping. I mean, I can’t very well shed my shirt on camera and then not commence to “raise da roof”--am I right? I mean, shirtless and arms crossed = big time mixed signals. I suppose I could do, side-to-side hillbilly elbows. But with the mid-size shrubberies I’ve got sprouting ‘neath my arms—absolutely *no* roof raising or fist-pumping.
Humiliation would surely ensue.
Tuesday, January 19, 2010
flour power
Back in mid-December (the 16th, if ya wanna be specific about it) my boss decided that our office was participating in an area Adopt-a-Family program, wherein your organization gets the specs on an area family in need (ages, genders, clothing sizes, wants, needs, etc.) and they buy Christmas gifts for them. Well because this drive fell under “clerical odd jobs” and everything in that category invariably falls to me, I ended up organizing the thing. And I didn’t really mind, as it was a fun job and quite a switcheroo from the mind numbing crud I usually get saddled with. I was a bit perturbed that Cathy launched the whole thing so belatedly (Dec 16th? That’s pretty shabby) but overall, I was cool with it.
So the day arrived for the pick-up of the gifts and me and a coupla folks from the Development Dept (it feels hokey to call them “Development” , as they’ve dubbed their crew. I’m always compelled to call them “Marketing” which is what they truly are) wrapped everything. Gaye (head of "Development") insisted we get photographed next to the mountain o' gifts wielding our rolls of wrapping paper (but of course she spins it into a photo op...that's her whole niche in the agency) Now that I wasn't overly thrilled about...not a big fan of getting my photo snapped, but I sucked it up and thought-- whatev..one of the pics she's going to schlep around to her please-support-the-VNA community outreach fetes that *I* will never have to see so what do I give a damn?
Well today she emailed the photo agency-wide. BARF. I sorta have myself to blame, though my instigation was *completely* inadvertant. I received in the mail a thank-you letter from the Adopt-a-Family program that expressed appreciation and also gave some results ie: how many gifts amassed, how many area families helped, etc. And so I scanned said letter and emailed it to everyone with reiterant "Thank you to all who participated" (actually it was a skoach more eloquently put, but I did manage some semblance of brevity believe it or no) And I guess that reminded Gaye of the photos she had taken, because mere minutes later her email went out.
Okay, it's bad enough that I looked HORRID. I was annoyed at having my photo taken (that's a given) and so I'm doing this awful transparent straining-to-be-civil smile (I have always been crap at smiling on cue ) Secondly, I'd just wrapped about a hundred presents and my updo was half fallen down. The real piece de resistance though was that fluorescent overhead lighting+ an unnecessary flash made it starkly apparent that I hadn't paid much attention to blending when I did my make up that morning. I had some sort of blemish fest on my face at the time (broken out in "spots" as the Limeys so cutely put it) and what I'd done was slapped some concealer over it and in my ill -lit bathroom I couldn't see how NOT blended it was and/or my coffee deprived brain didn't perceive it and/or I just had to smack that snooze button an extra time or three and was consequently running late that morning and didn't give a flying feck. Probably that last one, if I know me. You know, if I am going somewhere *important* and I have imperfections to mask, there's a whole time intensive, multi-layer spackling job I do but for work I just DON'T try that hard, aesthetically speaking (as I've made abundantly clear in this blog) Plus, I had no advance notice that I was going to be photographed that day either.
So yeah, short story long--I'm in this pic looking utterly hagged out and I have a bizarre white patch on my lower cheek, jawbone region. It was really pale flesh tone, but reads white in the fluorescent lights + camera flash atmosphere. So one of my coworkers--obnoxious bitch that she is--quickly emails me: " Did you have something with flour on it for lunch? LOL" Bloody hell... I have a general aversion to "LOL" to begin with, and then you get some people who overuse it to a redonkulous degree. This Amy is one of those. But obviously my biggest qualm with her is that she just HAD to point that out to me. When you get a publicly distributed photo of someone, where something is quite evidently jacked up about that someone's FACE, the humane thing to do is act like you never saw the picture. Obviously. Why must I always be the arbiter of proper decorum? Geeeez! Ok, so I feel a smidge guilty calling her an "obnoxious bitch". That's a tad strong, but the "obnoxious " part of it is right on the money.
I emailed back to her " I hadn’t had lunch at that point. Although I was somewhat discolored and disheveled from doing a faceplant in that pile of coke (I needed a li’l “picker-upper” to help me dispatch with my elving more expeditiously, y’know…) Yep, you shoulda helped out…it was a big drug orgy….good times. " Of course I wasn't going to cop to fucking up at mon toilette!!
Her response? "LOL"
Oh, you're "laughing out loud" now girl, but you gon' be laughing out tha otha side o' your face iffin you don't shut the hell up soon...
So the day arrived for the pick-up of the gifts and me and a coupla folks from the Development Dept (it feels hokey to call them “Development” , as they’ve dubbed their crew. I’m always compelled to call them “Marketing” which is what they truly are) wrapped everything. Gaye (head of "Development") insisted we get photographed next to the mountain o' gifts wielding our rolls of wrapping paper (but of course she spins it into a photo op...that's her whole niche in the agency) Now that I wasn't overly thrilled about...not a big fan of getting my photo snapped, but I sucked it up and thought-- whatev..one of the pics she's going to schlep around to her please-support-the-VNA community outreach fetes that *I* will never have to see so what do I give a damn?
Well today she emailed the photo agency-wide. BARF. I sorta have myself to blame, though my instigation was *completely* inadvertant. I received in the mail a thank-you letter from the Adopt-a-Family program that expressed appreciation and also gave some results ie: how many gifts amassed, how many area families helped, etc. And so I scanned said letter and emailed it to everyone with reiterant "Thank you to all who participated" (actually it was a skoach more eloquently put, but I did manage some semblance of brevity believe it or no) And I guess that reminded Gaye of the photos she had taken, because mere minutes later her email went out.
Okay, it's bad enough that I looked HORRID. I was annoyed at having my photo taken (that's a given) and so I'm doing this awful transparent straining-to-be-civil smile (I have always been crap at smiling on cue ) Secondly, I'd just wrapped about a hundred presents and my updo was half fallen down. The real piece de resistance though was that fluorescent overhead lighting+ an unnecessary flash made it starkly apparent that I hadn't paid much attention to blending when I did my make up that morning. I had some sort of blemish fest on my face at the time (broken out in "spots" as the Limeys so cutely put it) and what I'd done was slapped some concealer over it and in my ill -lit bathroom I couldn't see how NOT blended it was and/or my coffee deprived brain didn't perceive it and/or I just had to smack that snooze button an extra time or three and was consequently running late that morning and didn't give a flying feck. Probably that last one, if I know me. You know, if I am going somewhere *important* and I have imperfections to mask, there's a whole time intensive, multi-layer spackling job I do but for work I just DON'T try that hard, aesthetically speaking (as I've made abundantly clear in this blog) Plus, I had no advance notice that I was going to be photographed that day either.
So yeah, short story long--I'm in this pic looking utterly hagged out and I have a bizarre white patch on my lower cheek, jawbone region. It was really pale flesh tone, but reads white in the fluorescent lights + camera flash atmosphere. So one of my coworkers--obnoxious bitch that she is--quickly emails me: " Did you have something with flour on it for lunch? LOL" Bloody hell... I have a general aversion to "LOL" to begin with, and then you get some people who overuse it to a redonkulous degree. This Amy is one of those. But obviously my biggest qualm with her is that she just HAD to point that out to me. When you get a publicly distributed photo of someone, where something is quite evidently jacked up about that someone's FACE, the humane thing to do is act like you never saw the picture. Obviously. Why must I always be the arbiter of proper decorum? Geeeez! Ok, so I feel a smidge guilty calling her an "obnoxious bitch". That's a tad strong, but the "obnoxious " part of it is right on the money.
I emailed back to her " I hadn’t had lunch at that point. Although I was somewhat discolored and disheveled from doing a faceplant in that pile of coke (I needed a li’l “picker-upper” to help me dispatch with my elving more expeditiously, y’know…) Yep, you shoulda helped out…it was a big drug orgy….good times. " Of course I wasn't going to cop to fucking up at mon toilette!!
Her response? "LOL"
Oh, you're "laughing out loud" now girl, but you gon' be laughing out tha otha side o' your face iffin you don't shut the hell up soon...
Friday, January 15, 2010
Guily Pleasure TV
I think I'm on record with my oft-disparaging attitude toward reality TV. And so, I really can't tell you WHY I make an exception and just adore both High School Reunion (watched the season3 premiere on Wednesday night--stayed up waaay too damn late, but I HAD to see it) and Project Runway (am kinda bummed that I missed that season premiere somehow...but I think PR eps are available thru the Lifetime website ...or Comcast On Demand. So I will undoubtedly catch up. Expect a PR-themed post@ that time).
Obviously this new HSR season is going to echo seasons 1 & 2, they keep mining these alum classes for the same archetypes : "the jock" "the outcast" etc. etc. Even though I know it's a quite deliberate formula, my mind keeps making parallels to season 2 & even season 1 sometimes. They do seem to be kicking it up a notch with some of their characters . Take their "bully" figure...Jason in season 1 was truly a poor excuse for a bully. He apparently had a history of bullying some nerd back in the day, but 20 yr reunion Jason was an innocuous meathead. And he apologized instantaneously, right at his detention. Then season 2 gave us Dennis...he was overtly obnoxious and required a small measure of reforming . So, a bit more of a story arc there-- it took 1 or 2 episodes to chip away his facade and expose his inner marshmallowiness. But the current incarnation--John--yyyikes. Like I said, they keep stepping it up... John makes Dennis look like Mr Rogers. What a colossal asshole!!
And I must give credit to his detention-mate Eric for dispelling, for this viewer, some tired old stereotypical misconceptions I didn't realize I held. I think "gay guy" and I imagine some impeccable Beau Brummel, arbiter of taste, guru of good grooming. But my idealized gay guy would never, EVER, sport that hair-do that Eric has.... and never, ever, *EVER* on national TV. Ok, sarcastic snipes at the guy's vile coiff out of the way, I genuinely do commend him for taking John's insistent asshattedness so very graciously. One thing that irked me about the whole Dennis fracas from last season is that when he was a rowdy, insensitive lout several alums really blew it outta proportion and acted like he stabbed someone or something monstrous. Eric maintained his sangfroid pretty admirably (a lot better than Tracy did, that's for sure).
Oh, in other bad hair news...Antanus. Dreads. Yuck. Can you REALLY be a "player" in dreads? Or maybe they're Stevie Wonder circa 1985 braids...but still. Seems incongruous to me, but I guess it's possible.
Rachelle is this season's Maricela... not really a stepped-up version either. YAWN. Also Jodi & Joe seem very familiar (Kara & Tom redux) although it seems pretty clear from previews that Joe is going to opt to NOT re-hit that. Whereas I believe last season left Kara & Tom on a "maybe?"note (even though I could tell the reunion was not gonna take).
They rather stepped up the bimbo element... not only is there a pair of them this season, but the Summer Girls are MEAN whereas poor Jessica was merely vapid .OK, so she was, incredibly, painfully vapid. And a little bit barmy. But I'd still rather have her at my reunion than the Summers. Oh, I would SO wanna throttle those bitches!! It was funny how, at the outset, Lisette was interviewed and mentions "I want to show my classmates that I was more than just hot & popular" or something like that. It was sort of cocky and stupid thing to say, but at its core, a noble sentiment. And then Elena came. And the two glommed onto each other and reverted back to behaviors of yore. Pretty interesting, from a sociological standpoint.
Cyndi, the nuevo-Liz, has one up on Liz, because Liz didn't have a racy post-h.s. gig to shock everyone with. I'm surprised they tipped the Cyndi, ex-stripper hand so early on in the season. Makes me think that they've got something REAL BIG in the hopper. Well, if season previews are to be believed, there's gonna be like, 3 or 4 weddings. Insane. I think that's just overkill...they're shooting for "sensational season", but landing in "hokey, contrived" territory.
Well, I'm starting to bore myself with this, so let me just sum up the rest of the cast with bullet points--
*Tracy B.-- mildly annoying. I guess overall I like her, but the way she's all excessively pissed at John , and yes he IS an asshole, but she was so preachy about it. And towards Eric...there was a *big show*of empathy. She's trying too hard...I think that's what it is about her that annoys. For me, she is the season 3 equivalent of season 2's class clown Scott.
The one thing I do find intriguing about her (thus far) is that inclusion of her last initial. It moves me to ponder when the other Tracy is showing up. And if she'll be less annoying.
*Lori-- looks quite a bit like a physical therapist I work with. That may unfairly prejudice me against her.
Ok, that's all the junk TV I'm going to prattle on about until the next HSR episode...or until I catch the Project Runway season premiere...whichever comes first.
Obviously this new HSR season is going to echo seasons 1 & 2, they keep mining these alum classes for the same archetypes : "the jock" "the outcast" etc. etc. Even though I know it's a quite deliberate formula, my mind keeps making parallels to season 2 & even season 1 sometimes. They do seem to be kicking it up a notch with some of their characters . Take their "bully" figure...Jason in season 1 was truly a poor excuse for a bully. He apparently had a history of bullying some nerd back in the day, but 20 yr reunion Jason was an innocuous meathead. And he apologized instantaneously, right at his detention. Then season 2 gave us Dennis...he was overtly obnoxious and required a small measure of reforming . So, a bit more of a story arc there-- it took 1 or 2 episodes to chip away his facade and expose his inner marshmallowiness. But the current incarnation--John--yyyikes. Like I said, they keep stepping it up... John makes Dennis look like Mr Rogers. What a colossal asshole!!
And I must give credit to his detention-mate Eric for dispelling, for this viewer, some tired old stereotypical misconceptions I didn't realize I held. I think "gay guy" and I imagine some impeccable Beau Brummel, arbiter of taste, guru of good grooming. But my idealized gay guy would never, EVER, sport that hair-do that Eric has.... and never, ever, *EVER* on national TV. Ok, sarcastic snipes at the guy's vile coiff out of the way, I genuinely do commend him for taking John's insistent asshattedness so very graciously. One thing that irked me about the whole Dennis fracas from last season is that when he was a rowdy, insensitive lout several alums really blew it outta proportion and acted like he stabbed someone or something monstrous. Eric maintained his sangfroid pretty admirably (a lot better than Tracy did, that's for sure).
Oh, in other bad hair news...Antanus. Dreads. Yuck. Can you REALLY be a "player" in dreads? Or maybe they're Stevie Wonder circa 1985 braids...but still. Seems incongruous to me, but I guess it's possible.
Rachelle is this season's Maricela... not really a stepped-up version either. YAWN. Also Jodi & Joe seem very familiar (Kara & Tom redux) although it seems pretty clear from previews that Joe is going to opt to NOT re-hit that. Whereas I believe last season left Kara & Tom on a "maybe?"note (even though I could tell the reunion was not gonna take).
They rather stepped up the bimbo element... not only is there a pair of them this season, but the Summer Girls are MEAN whereas poor Jessica was merely vapid .OK, so she was, incredibly, painfully vapid. And a little bit barmy. But I'd still rather have her at my reunion than the Summers. Oh, I would SO wanna throttle those bitches!! It was funny how, at the outset, Lisette was interviewed and mentions "I want to show my classmates that I was more than just hot & popular" or something like that. It was sort of cocky and stupid thing to say, but at its core, a noble sentiment. And then Elena came. And the two glommed onto each other and reverted back to behaviors of yore. Pretty interesting, from a sociological standpoint.
Cyndi, the nuevo-Liz, has one up on Liz, because Liz didn't have a racy post-h.s. gig to shock everyone with. I'm surprised they tipped the Cyndi, ex-stripper hand so early on in the season. Makes me think that they've got something REAL BIG in the hopper. Well, if season previews are to be believed, there's gonna be like, 3 or 4 weddings. Insane. I think that's just overkill...they're shooting for "sensational season", but landing in "hokey, contrived" territory.
Well, I'm starting to bore myself with this, so let me just sum up the rest of the cast with bullet points--
*Tracy B.-- mildly annoying. I guess overall I like her, but the way she's all excessively pissed at John , and yes he IS an asshole, but she was so preachy about it. And towards Eric...there was a *big show*of empathy. She's trying too hard...I think that's what it is about her that annoys. For me, she is the season 3 equivalent of season 2's class clown Scott.
The one thing I do find intriguing about her (thus far) is that inclusion of her last initial. It moves me to ponder when the other Tracy is showing up. And if she'll be less annoying.
*Lori-- looks quite a bit like a physical therapist I work with. That may unfairly prejudice me against her.
Ok, that's all the junk TV I'm going to prattle on about until the next HSR episode...or until I catch the Project Runway season premiere...whichever comes first.
Thursday, January 14, 2010
doodly doodly dooooooo....
We had a mandatory all-employee meeting today. For the most part, it’s a litany of line chart after bar graph after pie chart, etc. etc all about our financial well being and the budget. SNOOOOOZE. But still, I was hoping it would run for the whole 2 hrs allotted, because it’s only during these mandatory meetings that I can get any doodling accomplished. On a day-to-day basis, I’m too industrious (yuck.. how distasteful). As it was (the meeting run time clocked in at a mere 42 min) this is all I managed to do…
Wednesday, January 13, 2010
mark your calendars
I've blogged about it before , but I feel it bears repeating..
This coming Jan 15th marks the 91st anniversary of the Boston Molasses Disaster. Fear and respect the molasses!!
This coming Jan 15th marks the 91st anniversary of the Boston Molasses Disaster. Fear and respect the molasses!!
Conan, Leno, Tomayto, Tomahto...let's call the whole thing off.
I can't believe the kerfuffle over this whole Leno/ Conan/ NBC imbroglio. I would say I don't give a rat's ass, but because of the chance of it impacting Jimmy Fallon and his terrific 12:35am program, I do indeed give a rat's ass.
It's time to put Leno out to pasture, methinks. I've never really found him terribly amusing anyways. Though, as long as they leave Jimmy be, I don't really care what NBC decides.
It's time to put Leno out to pasture, methinks. I've never really found him terribly amusing anyways. Though, as long as they leave Jimmy be, I don't really care what NBC decides.
ponder fragments that clog the windmills of my mind
*the name "Mork"
Preexisting name? Or invented for the 70s sitcom Mork & Mindy?
Mork is one of those names that sounds like it must be short for something. Rationally, I *know* it's not really "Morkworth" or "Morkimer" but it feels abbreviated nevertheless.
*karate chop lethality
If a karate master can chop through a cinderblock, or 3 boards of hardwood (like I've not seen in person, but I'm sure I've seen it transpire on some footage from an old TV show...probably That's Incredible!) then can't someone with that level of karate prowess hiya-te chop* somebody's head off? I don't think they can. I'm 99.99999% positive they can't, actually. It's just that nobody's been able to adequately explicate to me why it can't be done.
NOT that I want to karate chop anyone's head off, of course.
*Baroque? Rococo? What's the dif, yo?
this is a new ponderance, actually. I've been a bit prone to contemplating architecture as of late (you mighta noticed). And so, when I had a credit in the used bookstore to use up, I spent some of it on Architecture Styles Spotter's Guide (came very close to buying Mervyn Peake's Gormenghast trilogy, but I have SO MUCH fiction in my possession, in my "to read " queue..) So, I've been reading this guide, trying to absorb some actual knowledge about architecture. (parenthetical tangent: I like the word "enthusiast"...it's a good word to describe me in regards to a number of things-- art, architecture, classical music..many, many more subjects. I get all fascinated, but have no more than a scant smattering of knowledge on any of 'em. "Enthusiast" though, is very apt, as inherently it only promises enthusiasm...no expertise) It's been pretty informative, overall, but I still can't distinguish between Baroque & Rococo very well. The book actually describes Rococo as "Baroque, but more so--"
That's not a big help.
*Red velvet flavor is____
What is red velvet? A melange of spices? It doesn't particularly taste like velvet to me (I oughtta know..I ingest a lot of various fabrics. Method acting study for a goat role, if you must know) Supposedly it's sort of chocolate--so sez wikipedia. But then wiki goes on to say "A Red velvet cake is a type of rich and sweet chocolate cake (though it is often made without chocolate flavoring)" Is a sweet chocolate cake made without chocolate flavoring rendered just a sweet cake? I don't think you can classify it as a chocolate cake in that case? That's one of those unclear clarifications like the whole Baroque/ Rococo thing.
*hiya-te chop is what my niece used to call it-- this is because ideally you make this fierce "HIIII-YA!" exclamation when you do said chop. So she turned it into this cute onomotopeiaic portmanteau thingie. My vocab is cluttered with all these adorable "niece-isms" that the nieces have dropped ages ago, but I haven't managed to. Like calling meatloaf "meepo" for instance.
Preexisting name? Or invented for the 70s sitcom Mork & Mindy?
Mork is one of those names that sounds like it must be short for something. Rationally, I *know* it's not really "Morkworth" or "Morkimer" but it feels abbreviated nevertheless.
*karate chop lethality
If a karate master can chop through a cinderblock, or 3 boards of hardwood (like I've not seen in person, but I'm sure I've seen it transpire on some footage from an old TV show...probably That's Incredible!) then can't someone with that level of karate prowess hiya-te chop* somebody's head off? I don't think they can. I'm 99.99999% positive they can't, actually. It's just that nobody's been able to adequately explicate to me why it can't be done.
NOT that I want to karate chop anyone's head off, of course.
*Baroque? Rococo? What's the dif, yo?
this is a new ponderance, actually. I've been a bit prone to contemplating architecture as of late (you mighta noticed). And so, when I had a credit in the used bookstore to use up, I spent some of it on Architecture Styles Spotter's Guide (came very close to buying Mervyn Peake's Gormenghast trilogy, but I have SO MUCH fiction in my possession, in my "to read " queue..) So, I've been reading this guide, trying to absorb some actual knowledge about architecture. (parenthetical tangent: I like the word "enthusiast"...it's a good word to describe me in regards to a number of things-- art, architecture, classical music..many, many more subjects. I get all fascinated, but have no more than a scant smattering of knowledge on any of 'em. "Enthusiast" though, is very apt, as inherently it only promises enthusiasm...no expertise) It's been pretty informative, overall, but I still can't distinguish between Baroque & Rococo very well. The book actually describes Rococo as "Baroque, but more so--"
That's not a big help.
*Red velvet flavor is____
What is red velvet? A melange of spices? It doesn't particularly taste like velvet to me (I oughtta know..I ingest a lot of various fabrics. Method acting study for a goat role, if you must know) Supposedly it's sort of chocolate--so sez wikipedia. But then wiki goes on to say "A Red velvet cake is a type of rich and sweet chocolate cake (though it is often made without chocolate flavoring)" Is a sweet chocolate cake made without chocolate flavoring rendered just a sweet cake? I don't think you can classify it as a chocolate cake in that case? That's one of those unclear clarifications like the whole Baroque/ Rococo thing.
*hiya-te chop is what my niece used to call it-- this is because ideally you make this fierce "HIIII-YA!" exclamation when you do said chop. So she turned it into this cute onomotopeiaic portmanteau thingie. My vocab is cluttered with all these adorable "niece-isms" that the nieces have dropped ages ago, but I haven't managed to. Like calling meatloaf "meepo" for instance.
Sunday, January 10, 2010
Saturday, January 09, 2010
indecision...
Oh, maybe Clive & I should live in "The Manseigneur" in my dreams. I am charmed so by bungalows, but this one has a freakin' LIBRARY in it... my dream house would SO have a library.
The Buena Vista
I was killing time meandering about online tonight, and went to ask.com. I feel like Google is overrated. I mean, "google" has become the verb for doing an online search, just like "kleenex" is the commonly employed noun when anyone speaks of tissue--as if there were no other brands. Ok, there's not a very substantial link betwixt Kleenex & Google--only that they are giants in their fields. And I shouldn't have disparaged Google with an "overrated" when I actually don't have a problem with it. I think my primary usage of ask.com is just another way of "rootin' for the little guy", y'know? But I digress-- the merits of various search engines was not the intended point of this post.
I wanted to share this site. I did an ask.com search for "vintage house plans"--was not really expecting to find anything, but this site--the first search result that cropped up--was just what I was seeking. Scooooore!
Y'see once upon a time, on a lark, bought a slim reproduction of an early 20s house plan catalog. It was $3.99 amongst the Borders Bargains, so I bought it (I don't do expensive "larks" you know) And I found that I really dug it. I have subsequently looked in Borders for other books of the same type and it's either that they've got nothing or maybe they've got 1 or 2 that fit the bill but they're not in the Bargains corral and priced a bit steeper than I want to spend. I feel like, if I drop $25 on a house plans book, I should be planning on building a house and not just browsing through, pointing at different plans or features and saying "Ooh. Me likey" Which is--more or less-- what I do.
In the book I have, this particular company (they might have been Sears plans) named all their houses. I find it somehow 10x more charming when a cute little Tudor revival is "The Chatford" rather than "Plan No. 112" Don't you agree? It makes me imagine excited homeowners of the early 20th century referring to their new abode by the design name...y'know...Betty is giving a tour of the place during the housewarming party and tells Arlene "We very nearly went with the Hanover , but I just fell in love with the idea of a breakfast nook, so I talked Danny into the Chatford"
How idyllic, right??
I think tonight, I'm going to have lovely dreams about me living in the Buena Vista.. . . .
. . . .with Clive Owen
I wanted to share this site. I did an ask.com search for "vintage house plans"--was not really expecting to find anything, but this site--the first search result that cropped up--was just what I was seeking. Scooooore!
Y'see once upon a time, on a lark, bought a slim reproduction of an early 20s house plan catalog. It was $3.99 amongst the Borders Bargains, so I bought it (I don't do expensive "larks" you know) And I found that I really dug it. I have subsequently looked in Borders for other books of the same type and it's either that they've got nothing or maybe they've got 1 or 2 that fit the bill but they're not in the Bargains corral and priced a bit steeper than I want to spend. I feel like, if I drop $25 on a house plans book, I should be planning on building a house and not just browsing through, pointing at different plans or features and saying "Ooh. Me likey" Which is--more or less-- what I do.
In the book I have, this particular company (they might have been Sears plans) named all their houses. I find it somehow 10x more charming when a cute little Tudor revival is "The Chatford" rather than "Plan No. 112" Don't you agree? It makes me imagine excited homeowners of the early 20th century referring to their new abode by the design name...y'know...Betty is giving a tour of the place during the housewarming party and tells Arlene "We very nearly went with the Hanover , but I just fell in love with the idea of a breakfast nook, so I talked Danny into the Chatford"
How idyllic, right??
I think tonight, I'm going to have lovely dreams about me living in the Buena Vista.. . . .
. . . .with Clive Owen
Thursday, January 07, 2010
The knave abides.
I have yet to read this whole thing (and I may not) but I thought this was awesome nonetheless!! LOOOOVE IT.
Wednesday, January 06, 2010
Reason 974 that I should move to the UK
Mmmkay..so it will save us some time if you don't make me review the first 973 reasons, agreed?
Anyways...I was on Amazon, looking at preordering "Return to Cranford" ( I own Cranford and just luv it) which aired over there as a mid-December Christmas special but did not air on any channel on MY side of "the pond". As much as I love Fa-la-la-laLifetime, I am damned jealous!! Anyways, was perusing that DVD (which is getting an amazingly quick release!! Good on ya, BBC !!) and I spied amongst my recommendations something called "Lark Rise to Candleford" Crazy-ass name, but it looks pretty rad. I was a bit surprised to find this show is going into its 3rd season and I'd never before heard of it. I'm often on the prowl for such fare (in fact, on just such a prowl last month, I was stoked to discover this site and, despite its horribly schmaltzy name, this site)
It just bums me out that they get awesome shows like that over there, and US TV just churns out crap reality show after crap reality show. Conveyor Belt of Love? Are you f-ing joking??
Ok, I'm going to do a 180 here and be a HUGE hypocrite but...silver lining...the 2 reality shows I actually dig (the lone exceptions to my rule) are both premiering this month! Huzzah!! Next week is the 3rd incarnation of High School Reunion. And then on January 14--Project Runway! You know I never did watch the very last episode of last season, because I happened to hear who won and I loathe Irina's nasty bitchy guts and couldn't bear to bear witness to that.
Anyways...I was on Amazon, looking at preordering "Return to Cranford" ( I own Cranford and just luv it) which aired over there as a mid-December Christmas special but did not air on any channel on MY side of "the pond". As much as I love Fa-la-la-laLifetime, I am damned jealous!! Anyways, was perusing that DVD (which is getting an amazingly quick release!! Good on ya, BBC !!) and I spied amongst my recommendations something called "Lark Rise to Candleford" Crazy-ass name, but it looks pretty rad. I was a bit surprised to find this show is going into its 3rd season and I'd never before heard of it. I'm often on the prowl for such fare (in fact, on just such a prowl last month, I was stoked to discover this site and, despite its horribly schmaltzy name, this site)
It just bums me out that they get awesome shows like that over there, and US TV just churns out crap reality show after crap reality show. Conveyor Belt of Love? Are you f-ing joking??
Ok, I'm going to do a 180 here and be a HUGE hypocrite but...silver lining...the 2 reality shows I actually dig (the lone exceptions to my rule) are both premiering this month! Huzzah!! Next week is the 3rd incarnation of High School Reunion. And then on January 14--Project Runway! You know I never did watch the very last episode of last season, because I happened to hear who won and I loathe Irina's nasty bitchy guts and couldn't bear to bear witness to that.
Today is my Dad's B-day!!
Feliz cumpleanos mi padre!!
I went over to my folks' tonight even though tomorrow night has been designated big fam birthday dinner night. My bro-in-law has a 1/5 b-day, so it's gonna be a joint thing (but not with joints, you understand. decidedly NOT that sort of party) There were leftover baked beans to be had, and my Dad was opining that a baked bean sandwich was the best sandwich around. I stifled my dissent on account of it being his birthday or whatev, but I'll unstifle here in this forum : I SO DISAGREE.
I would eat such a sandwich actually (though not the way he likes 'em--he had me toast the wheat bread--that part was okay-- and spread the bread w/ Hellman's mayo. UGH. I think it would be just fine with NO condiments... or maybe mustard) but that's just a tremendous overstatement. In the pantheon of great sammies, "baked bean" doesn't even make the top 10. Am I right?? (brief aside--scope this neat-o website, kids: http://www.insanewiches.com/)
Well, wild overstatements aside, it was his birthday. So I stuck a birthday candle in his bean sandwich I made him and sang "Happy Birthday " as I served it. This strikes me as damn funny. Probably if I didn't know that he has a cake coming tomorrow it would just be sad and/or pathetic. But he will get a b-day cake, so my conscience allowed me to be amused by birthday bean sammich. I don't quite know WHAT I found so funny about it. Is it incongruity? Thwarting of expectations? I don't know what. Just a comedic je ne sais quoi , I guess. Sort of a je ne sais HAA. (wocka wocka) Wouldn't hafta be a bean sammie though. A birthday candle in a hotdog would also be funny...and funnier still if you called it a birthday frankfurt (no, "weener" is going for the cheap laff, and it's played out besides)
My Dad is weird. After he ate, he called up 2 of the guys he used to work with that he remembered had the same birthday as him --these are guys he's not seen since retiring 10 years ago, mind you. Just made out of the blue, happy birthday calls to these fellahs. He actually opened one phone call singing "Happy Birthday" (though I think the Beatles' birthday song woulda been more apropos) And then it was all--It's me, Art! What have you been up to? This is what I've been up to. Blah blah blah. Old anecdotes. Have you seen so & so? Yeah, I saw so & so two months ago. Have you seen this dude? That dude? How does he look? Yadda yadda yadda.
I would NOT do that. He is perfectly at ease cold-calling some semi-close acquaintance that he's not seen in a decade and chatting them up. That would seem weird to me. Partly I think- well shit, if you haven't made an effort to see them in 10 years there's probably a good reason, Sandra. But then my superego is all-- well that's sort of misanthropic and you shouldn't think that way. And that superego voice in me does kind of appreciate and maybe envy that quality in my Dad. I've always thought I was just the right amount of friendly, but maybe I'm not?
One of my work compadres wished his wife a big ol' HAPPY BIRTHDAY on his FB wall today. The wacky coincidence of it being both his wife's and my Dad's birthday (what are the chances? Pretty damned good, actually. Still, these things never cease to charm me) had me on wiki, seeking out who else was born on Jan 6th. Some exciting finds--
Danny Pintauro (Johnathan on Who's the Boss?) -- 1/6/1976
Rowan Atkinson (1/6/1955)
Vic Tayback 1/6/1930 (he played Mel on Alice; quick tangent-- I recall at my last job, we wiled away an afternoon debating which of us in the office was a Mel...who was the Flo, who was a Vera, etc. I think I wound up being Alice)
Another wacky b-day coinky-dinky that delighted me: Jan 6 is the birthday of both Bonnie Franklin (of One Day at a Time fame) and BEN FRANKLIN (of bifocals inventing and flying kites in T-storms fame)
I got kind of stumped when shopping for Dad's b-day. He's had his present bathrobe since the Reagan administration so I bought him a new robe. He'll probably think it frivolous since the old robe isn't quite threadbare. Still probably has another 10 years of use in it, eh? It may not be threadbare, but it's an UGLY thing. I hope he wears this new one I got him. Not only is it more aesthetically pleasing (black & green buffalo check) it's WARM and he's always wearing his bathrobe outdoors for one reason or another--to get the paper, or go out in the freezing garage to bring out recycling. It's nutty.
So once I selected the robe, I thought I should give him a little something else. So I thought...what little somethin' would go well with a robe?? Initially I thought : snacks!! A good thought, because snacks do go well with a robe and snacks are an easy, sure-fire man-gift. But one of my Dad's 2010 resolutions is to drop some lbs and that's deuced tough enough without my sabotaging him!! So I bought him a book. It's good to read in a robe, si? Maaaan, I must have stood in the Kmart book aisle a good 15 minutes debating: Jon Krakauer's "Into Thin Air" or Alice Sebold's "The Lovely Bones"? Lovely Bones or Thin Air? Air? Bones? Sebold? Krakauer? Thin? Lovely? I was RACKED WITH INDECISION, I tells ya. Krakauer looked like an obvious frontrunner, with the cover copy exclaiming "Ranks among the great adventure books of all time!!" (so sez the Wall Street Journal) But I opted for "Lovely Bones" because I skimmed just a teensy bit of "Into Thin Air" and thought that passage read very factually, like a piece of journalism and so I thought that might be a kinda dry read. And I believe the Lovely Bones has a heroic father figure in it, so I thought that might be a good pick for that reason. But I haven't read either and maybe I chose wrong. I do wonder if "Lovely Bones" is too much of a femme, Oprah-esque book for myDad. Though he did tell me once how much he liked the book "Little Women" so that probably won't be an issue.
I went over to my folks' tonight even though tomorrow night has been designated big fam birthday dinner night. My bro-in-law has a 1/5 b-day, so it's gonna be a joint thing (but not with joints, you understand. decidedly NOT that sort of party) There were leftover baked beans to be had, and my Dad was opining that a baked bean sandwich was the best sandwich around. I stifled my dissent on account of it being his birthday or whatev, but I'll unstifle here in this forum : I SO DISAGREE.
I would eat such a sandwich actually (though not the way he likes 'em--he had me toast the wheat bread--that part was okay-- and spread the bread w/ Hellman's mayo. UGH. I think it would be just fine with NO condiments... or maybe mustard) but that's just a tremendous overstatement. In the pantheon of great sammies, "baked bean" doesn't even make the top 10. Am I right?? (brief aside--scope this neat-o website, kids: http://www.insanewiches.com/)
Well, wild overstatements aside, it was his birthday. So I stuck a birthday candle in his bean sandwich I made him and sang "Happy Birthday " as I served it. This strikes me as damn funny. Probably if I didn't know that he has a cake coming tomorrow it would just be sad and/or pathetic. But he will get a b-day cake, so my conscience allowed me to be amused by birthday bean sammich. I don't quite know WHAT I found so funny about it. Is it incongruity? Thwarting of expectations? I don't know what. Just a comedic je ne sais quoi , I guess. Sort of a je ne sais HAA. (wocka wocka) Wouldn't hafta be a bean sammie though. A birthday candle in a hotdog would also be funny...and funnier still if you called it a birthday frankfurt (no, "weener" is going for the cheap laff, and it's played out besides)
My Dad is weird. After he ate, he called up 2 of the guys he used to work with that he remembered had the same birthday as him --these are guys he's not seen since retiring 10 years ago, mind you. Just made out of the blue, happy birthday calls to these fellahs. He actually opened one phone call singing "Happy Birthday" (though I think the Beatles' birthday song woulda been more apropos) And then it was all--It's me, Art! What have you been up to? This is what I've been up to. Blah blah blah. Old anecdotes. Have you seen so & so? Yeah, I saw so & so two months ago. Have you seen this dude? That dude? How does he look? Yadda yadda yadda.
I would NOT do that. He is perfectly at ease cold-calling some semi-close acquaintance that he's not seen in a decade and chatting them up. That would seem weird to me. Partly I think- well shit, if you haven't made an effort to see them in 10 years there's probably a good reason, Sandra. But then my superego is all-- well that's sort of misanthropic and you shouldn't think that way. And that superego voice in me does kind of appreciate and maybe envy that quality in my Dad. I've always thought I was just the right amount of friendly, but maybe I'm not?
One of my work compadres wished his wife a big ol' HAPPY BIRTHDAY on his FB wall today. The wacky coincidence of it being both his wife's and my Dad's birthday (what are the chances? Pretty damned good, actually. Still, these things never cease to charm me) had me on wiki, seeking out who else was born on Jan 6th. Some exciting finds--
Danny Pintauro (Johnathan on Who's the Boss?) -- 1/6/1976
Rowan Atkinson (1/6/1955)
Vic Tayback 1/6/1930 (he played Mel on Alice; quick tangent-- I recall at my last job, we wiled away an afternoon debating which of us in the office was a Mel...who was the Flo, who was a Vera, etc. I think I wound up being Alice)
Another wacky b-day coinky-dinky that delighted me: Jan 6 is the birthday of both Bonnie Franklin (of One Day at a Time fame) and BEN FRANKLIN (of bifocals inventing and flying kites in T-storms fame)
I got kind of stumped when shopping for Dad's b-day. He's had his present bathrobe since the Reagan administration so I bought him a new robe. He'll probably think it frivolous since the old robe isn't quite threadbare. Still probably has another 10 years of use in it, eh? It may not be threadbare, but it's an UGLY thing. I hope he wears this new one I got him. Not only is it more aesthetically pleasing (black & green buffalo check) it's WARM and he's always wearing his bathrobe outdoors for one reason or another--to get the paper, or go out in the freezing garage to bring out recycling. It's nutty.
So once I selected the robe, I thought I should give him a little something else. So I thought...what little somethin' would go well with a robe?? Initially I thought : snacks!! A good thought, because snacks do go well with a robe and snacks are an easy, sure-fire man-gift. But one of my Dad's 2010 resolutions is to drop some lbs and that's deuced tough enough without my sabotaging him!! So I bought him a book. It's good to read in a robe, si? Maaaan, I must have stood in the Kmart book aisle a good 15 minutes debating: Jon Krakauer's "Into Thin Air" or Alice Sebold's "The Lovely Bones"? Lovely Bones or Thin Air? Air? Bones? Sebold? Krakauer? Thin? Lovely? I was RACKED WITH INDECISION, I tells ya. Krakauer looked like an obvious frontrunner, with the cover copy exclaiming "Ranks among the great adventure books of all time!!" (so sez the Wall Street Journal) But I opted for "Lovely Bones" because I skimmed just a teensy bit of "Into Thin Air" and thought that passage read very factually, like a piece of journalism and so I thought that might be a kinda dry read. And I believe the Lovely Bones has a heroic father figure in it, so I thought that might be a good pick for that reason. But I haven't read either and maybe I chose wrong. I do wonder if "Lovely Bones" is too much of a femme, Oprah-esque book for myDad. Though he did tell me once how much he liked the book "Little Women" so that probably won't be an issue.
head gear
I received a couple of gift certs to Kohls this Christmas. Now, I have had a history of finding decent threads in there, but now that I have $$$ to burn, I can't seem to find a damn thing. Still, I couldn't leave there empty handed when I went this past Saturday so I got a cool bracelet, a necklace, & knit hat (all Vera Wang's Simply Vera line-- nice stuff, me likey)
So this hat I got-- kind of rad. It's sort of a touque-style hat--a loose black knit that you can see through the weave and see that inside the black knit is all silver sequins. Aw hell, why don't I just scrounge up a pic for y'all??
{several web scouring minutes later...}
It's really cuter in person, I assure you. Anyways, you can see it's not a tight beanie..it's got a bit of slouch to it. So, I've been wearing it sorta pushed back and to the left. And I've been wearing the hell out of it. The greeter at Walmart said it was cute and looked very good on me. And then as I donned it the other day to head out on my lunch break, one of my coworkers said it made me "look like a city girl". Now, I would have preferred the adjective "fetching" in the first scenario, and "metropolitan" in the latter, but that is not what either of them said, and I endeavor to report with the utmost accuracy, yes I do. Nevertheless, both remarks were complimentary and I was feeling pretty fine.
And then I caught a glimpse of myself in a big mirror. Well, really, I don't think the hat was the sole culprit, rather there was some awful sartorial chemistry going on with my coat-hat pairing. The coat may be the guiltier party --a long wool coat, trench style, black & white herringbone pattern, looks slightly stupid with its 2 big loopy belt loops hanging off the back of it when I have long since lost the belt. I'm a fan of long coats generally. I find them elegant (not dusters though...dusters are foul. I feel like primarily they are worn by weird neauvo-cowboys and plain ol' weird weirdos that keep weird journals that you better be on the lookout for. Hey, if you know of another ilk that favors dusters--please do enlighten me !) But I'm thinking that certain body types just need to find the absolute perfect long coat and maybe some should just totally avoid 'em. Anywhoodle...when I saw me in the mirror, 3 words flashed through my mind:
Oy vey!! So the moral of the story: believe your mirrors, NOT the hype. Unless you're consulting one of those 50x magnification make-up mirrors. Don't believe that kind!! I'm not saying they're dishonest mirrors, quite the contrary. But if you believe what those tell you, well...one is liable to have a lie-down on the train tracks and wait for the next express to flatten 'em. BRUTAL instruments, and I recommend shunning them altogether.
In other headgear news, I wore a turban to work the other day. No, I'm not adding a Middle Eastern flair to my wardrobe, nor am I trying to pull off some sort of business cas. Bob Mackie type o' thing. It was a bit of a slip-up and the rambling, unabridged backstory goes a little somethin' like--
I am really, really, really, REALLY not a morning person. It's even tough for me to hear one of those morning people effuse "Oh, I like to take it slow in the mornings--get up at five, linger over my coffee, read the paper, vacuum, blah blah blahdee blaah" Oh BARF. Who does that? I mean, people do do that...but I just can't fathom...when blankets are so snuggly to snuggle...what the fuck? Really?? I give myself 15 minutes to get ready for work and not a nanosecond more. That means that I get up 15 minutes before I leave for work. Well to be quite specific, my alarm starts going off 45minutes before departure time, and I groggily slap the snooze button for a 30min. Problematically though,my average shower time ranges from 15-20minutes. I make this nonproblematic by showering at night. Well, usually I do. On the rare weekday a.m.s that I take a shower, this means that I'm either running 15-20 minutes late, or I've actually roused myself a whole 1/2 hour before hustle-out-the-door time. Now in either scenario, you can bet your ass that I am NOT busting out the hair dryer. OK, I'm starting to fear that I'm portraying myself as some drab tomboy slob loser. So at this juncture, I remind you: I'm just going to work. When I go out on the weekends (well, when I periodically do... when I'm in the black) I make up for my day-to-day primping lackadaisicality (SOOO not a word!! is it?). I take, I'd say on average, 2 hours to preen for social excursions.
Well, I have digressed. What I was getting at-- my shower morning S.O.P. is to twist my wet locks into a Turbi Twist and wear that on my ride in to work. And then, after parking, I take off the turban, and hang the thing on my passenger seat headrest to dry. But, as you've surely surmised, I accidentally deviated from protocol the other a.m. I walk across the parking lot, oblivious, waving to a fellow coworker -- "Hi Ann!" favoring her with the winningest smile a pre-coffee me can muster. Walked right inside to the coat rack. The act of shedding my coat must have tipped me off --"Some other item you were supposed to take off, nimrod??" I quickly ripped the thing off and hung it up under my coat. I'm pretty sure Ann's the only one who noticed. She's been having a good laugh about it ALL WEEK.
So this hat I got-- kind of rad. It's sort of a touque-style hat--a loose black knit that you can see through the weave and see that inside the black knit is all silver sequins. Aw hell, why don't I just scrounge up a pic for y'all??
{several web scouring minutes later...}
It's really cuter in person, I assure you. Anyways, you can see it's not a tight beanie..it's got a bit of slouch to it. So, I've been wearing it sorta pushed back and to the left. And I've been wearing the hell out of it. The greeter at Walmart said it was cute and looked very good on me. And then as I donned it the other day to head out on my lunch break, one of my coworkers said it made me "look like a city girl". Now, I would have preferred the adjective "fetching" in the first scenario, and "metropolitan" in the latter, but that is not what either of them said, and I endeavor to report with the utmost accuracy, yes I do. Nevertheless, both remarks were complimentary and I was feeling pretty fine.
And then I caught a glimpse of myself in a big mirror. Well, really, I don't think the hat was the sole culprit, rather there was some awful sartorial chemistry going on with my coat-hat pairing. The coat may be the guiltier party --a long wool coat, trench style, black & white herringbone pattern, looks slightly stupid with its 2 big loopy belt loops hanging off the back of it when I have long since lost the belt. I'm a fan of long coats generally. I find them elegant (not dusters though...dusters are foul. I feel like primarily they are worn by weird neauvo-cowboys and plain ol' weird weirdos that keep weird journals that you better be on the lookout for. Hey, if you know of another ilk that favors dusters--please do enlighten me !) But I'm thinking that certain body types just need to find the absolute perfect long coat and maybe some should just totally avoid 'em. Anywhoodle...when I saw me in the mirror, 3 words flashed through my mind:
Glitzy Sam Kinison.
Oy vey!! So the moral of the story: believe your mirrors, NOT the hype. Unless you're consulting one of those 50x magnification make-up mirrors. Don't believe that kind!! I'm not saying they're dishonest mirrors, quite the contrary. But if you believe what those tell you, well...one is liable to have a lie-down on the train tracks and wait for the next express to flatten 'em. BRUTAL instruments, and I recommend shunning them altogether.
In other headgear news, I wore a turban to work the other day. No, I'm not adding a Middle Eastern flair to my wardrobe, nor am I trying to pull off some sort of business cas. Bob Mackie type o' thing. It was a bit of a slip-up and the rambling, unabridged backstory goes a little somethin' like--
I am really, really, really, REALLY not a morning person. It's even tough for me to hear one of those morning people effuse "Oh, I like to take it slow in the mornings--get up at five, linger over my coffee, read the paper, vacuum, blah blah blahdee blaah" Oh BARF. Who does that? I mean, people do do that...but I just can't fathom...when blankets are so snuggly to snuggle...what the fuck? Really?? I give myself 15 minutes to get ready for work and not a nanosecond more. That means that I get up 15 minutes before I leave for work. Well to be quite specific, my alarm starts going off 45minutes before departure time, and I groggily slap the snooze button for a 30min. Problematically though,my average shower time ranges from 15-20minutes. I make this nonproblematic by showering at night. Well, usually I do. On the rare weekday a.m.s that I take a shower, this means that I'm either running 15-20 minutes late, or I've actually roused myself a whole 1/2 hour before hustle-out-the-door time. Now in either scenario, you can bet your ass that I am NOT busting out the hair dryer. OK, I'm starting to fear that I'm portraying myself as some drab tomboy slob loser. So at this juncture, I remind you: I'm just going to work. When I go out on the weekends (well, when I periodically do... when I'm in the black) I make up for my day-to-day primping lackadaisicality (SOOO not a word!! is it?). I take, I'd say on average, 2 hours to preen for social excursions.
Well, I have digressed. What I was getting at-- my shower morning S.O.P. is to twist my wet locks into a Turbi Twist and wear that on my ride in to work. And then, after parking, I take off the turban, and hang the thing on my passenger seat headrest to dry. But, as you've surely surmised, I accidentally deviated from protocol the other a.m. I walk across the parking lot, oblivious, waving to a fellow coworker -- "Hi Ann!" favoring her with the winningest smile a pre-coffee me can muster. Walked right inside to the coat rack. The act of shedding my coat must have tipped me off --"Some other item you were supposed to take off, nimrod??" I quickly ripped the thing off and hung it up under my coat. I'm pretty sure Ann's the only one who noticed. She's been having a good laugh about it ALL WEEK.
Friday, January 01, 2010
Tuesday, December 29, 2009
front page news? Really now?
Well damn--the crew over at People magazine is just ga-ga for weddings!! Seriously, if the dude who played Schneider on One Day at a Time got married for the fifth time and mailed the pics to People--and made a point to refer to them as exclusive pics--People muth&*$#*ing magazine would run that on their cover. No shitting you. First off, they must know that a Jo-bro. is NOT the hot commodity in 2009 that he was back in '07. And even at the very zenith of their fame, Kevin was the one that-- ah well-- hitched, single, gay...there really wasn't a hell of a lotta public concern over the matter either way.
OK..if that last paragraph were clunkily composed, I blame it on this ugly guilty feeling that has stolen over me on account o' maybe I've slandered One Day At A Time's Schneider. Firstly, it's a bit belittling to forego his real name (which is Pat Harrington Jr) in favor of a character name. And of course, the man's done other work besides One Day, in fact, I remember seeing him pop up on The Love Boat, I think maybe more than once. Yep, yep--a quick detour over to IMDB shows 4 Love Boat episodes. Welllll, there was a 2 parter episode in there, so one might consider it just 3 Love Boat episodes in the Harrington Jr. oeuvre but he's had a buttload of other work too!! And just one wife ....so that settles it--I *am* slanderous.
But back to my original point--Kevin Jonas's big nuptials--is that really front page-worthy? I'd give it maybe a corner of the front page, but not this primo real estate.
Some trepidation is replacing my guilt now...I'm flashing back to a long ago post where I ever-so-slightly disparaged Clay Aiken and... OMFG hell hath no fury like a miffed Claymate. I don't know how all those people found me!! I'll bet that was my all time record for # of comments though. I gotta wonder if I have now summoned up a whole new shitstorm...
I kinda get the feeling that People is the print equivalent of Entertainment Tonight. They just have kindred vibes, y'know ??
Oh, and since I may have incurred a wrathful shitstorm anyways allow me to lay some additional (yet totally irrelevant) negativity on y'all. I *LOATHE* THE GUY WHO SINGS IN THE FREE CREDIT REPORT.COM COMMERCIALS. I won't say "hate"...because that feels too harsh, especially for someone I've never in-person met, but let's just say I have a powerful, powerful aversion to the dude. And you know why? Me neither!!! I can't quite articulate why...he just has this nebulous offputting essence. Whatever the cause is, the effect is that want to punch him in the noggin. HARD. Oh, don't give me that reproachful look of yours. Even if I did my hardest punching, it probably wouldn't hurt the fellah. I am crap at punching.
I may have opined this before, but it bears repeating: I do think there needs to be a word that means negative je ne sais quoi . I could say "negative je ne sais quoi" but that feels cumbersome, right? I need one word that encompasses that notion in no more than 4syllables, ideally 3. Maybe that word exists & it's just eluding me (help me out if you can think of it, eh?)
am I VLOGGING now? Wooo-hoo! Good job, me!
I had some time to kill today while I was waiting at Dunkin Donuts to get some blood (umm yeah, I should specify at this juncture that it was a work errand &I was picking this up from a nurse I was meeting in that parking lot...it's not like, my Plan B bev because the Dunkaccino machine was being cleaned or anything like that. ) I happened to have my new Christmas toy on hand and so...
Sunday, December 27, 2009
My Christmas: the ultra-abridged Reader's Digest version
Drank a bottle of champers (with very little help) at the Christmas Eve party. Had a swell Christmas. Top three fave gifties: Flip cam / silver key necklace/ grey cashmere throw. Everything else I got was pretty terrific too. Had ham,not turkey (ham's way better, not to mention ham gravy...MMmm I wish I'd gotten leftovers, but they all stayed at my sister's casa) I know it's silly,but I think the knowledge that I had Dec 26 off from work made my Christmas exponentially merrier. I really DETEST going to work on Boxing Day(and yet I neglect to take it off every &^%#ing year it lands on a weekday. Durrr)
Will post more at a later date amigos...
Will post more at a later date amigos...
Tuesday, December 15, 2009
EYE EPILOGUE
My left eye feels 1000% better today. I can’t find any ophthalmological basis for it, but I do believe my recovery has much to do with my indulging in nearly 14 hours of sleep last night. I know it’s kind of lameass to go to sleep at 6pm but nevertheless, I feel like I could benchpress a small building today. Not that I’m much of a bench presser…
Monday, December 14, 2009
My left eye has been kind of…uhhh, itchy (for lack of a better adjective) since this past Friday. Feels slighty better today than it did yesterday, but it’s still bothering me. Early on in the weekend it was like I had a pine needle floating around in there. Now it just feels kind of strained ..like I’m tired in one eye. I have been wearing my glasses (instead of contacts) and periodically dropping in eyedrops when I have ‘em handy and I am NOT going to the docs unless I have a big relapse. I’d hafta hock my Christmas presents if I did go!!
You know back in the spring, I had a scratched cornea and had to go to the ER. The bill for that was a li’l over $500 !! Can you believe that shit? My insurance paid for most of it (my OOP was $75.) but still….that’s redonkulous!!
This is what the visit (run time approx 30minutes) consisted of -- lengthy interrogation by the front desk broad, when I FINALLY got to be seen they gave me eye numbing drops, followed by eye dye so that the P.A. dude could gaze into my peeper and conclusively say “Yep, there’s a scratch there”. Then I read from an eye chart to show that my vision wasn’t f-ed up. And went away with an RX for antibiotic droppies. Now, I don’t want to disparage the P.A. who treated me, but really, it didn’t seem like the care I received was all that skilled. Not 500 bucks worth of skilled anyways!! Either they get paid a killer shift differential (this ER visit was at around 9pm) or those dye drops are a rare compound of unicorn tears & jabberwocky drool.
You know back in the spring, I had a scratched cornea and had to go to the ER. The bill for that was a li’l over $500 !! Can you believe that shit? My insurance paid for most of it (my OOP was $75.) but still….that’s redonkulous!!
This is what the visit (run time approx 30minutes) consisted of -- lengthy interrogation by the front desk broad, when I FINALLY got to be seen they gave me eye numbing drops, followed by eye dye so that the P.A. dude could gaze into my peeper and conclusively say “Yep, there’s a scratch there”. Then I read from an eye chart to show that my vision wasn’t f-ed up. And went away with an RX for antibiotic droppies. Now, I don’t want to disparage the P.A. who treated me, but really, it didn’t seem like the care I received was all that skilled. Not 500 bucks worth of skilled anyways!! Either they get paid a killer shift differential (this ER visit was at around 9pm) or those dye drops are a rare compound of unicorn tears & jabberwocky drool.
Saturday, December 12, 2009
Mmmmmmmeaty!!
One more thing...
I had a friend announce on Facebook that she was giving up on vegetarianism. For some reason, this announcement compelled me to make for her a sort of "homage to meat" collage.
Probably stupid Blogger will not allow me to make the pic a "click-to-expand" type pic (I used to be able to post 'em like that, but never can anymore. WTF, guys??) But what the hey...I'm going to share it anyways...
Friday, December 11, 2009
weird banner ads...
I was finishing up Christmas cards tonight and popped online expressly to look up some mailing addresses I was missing. But the dang interwebs suck me in everytime and I've now been on the computer for a hell of a long time and I've wound up putting off about 15 cards 'til tomorrow. I suppose it's for the best...it will give me something to do tomorrow and I was getting calligraphy cramps tonight anyways. OK, well, I don't know for real BONA FIDE calligraphy, but I do do my own made up fancy lettering on my envelopes. I never want to write messages on the insides of cards... I would either have to strain the weary ol' brain for something clever/witty and/or poignant to say, or I would have to resort to cliches (bleccch!) So in lieu of scrawling some sentiment, I get artsy on the envelopes. That's why my cards are always such a lengthy undertaking. Well, that and I never, NEVER, have all the addresses I need!
...which brings me back to the internet. I hit up switchboard.com to search for some people's info, and I was struck by 2 banner ads I discovered there....
...which brings me back to the internet. I hit up switchboard.com to search for some people's info, and I was struck by 2 banner ads I discovered there....
The one on the top kinda weirds me out just because I know it's targeted precisely at me. After spotting a W Hotel in Manhattan last month, I took a fancy to the look of the place and I sought out the W Hotels website. Now THE INTERNET GODS are shooting me banner ads for W Hotels. Rationally, I totally get it...y'know Big Brother/ Big Commerce is ever vigilant, and I am by no means elusively "off-the-grid" (especially considering what a 'net junkie I am) But still, it weirds me out ...just a smidge. But it also makes me feel like they're doing a shoddy, half-ass job of profiling me. If my likes and dislikes and location and demographic are so readily available, isn't it equally easy to peek at my credit score? After scoping that, one could surmise (rightfully) that I could not pay for so much as a 1 hour stay at a W Hotel!! YOU ARE WASTING THE AD SPACE, FOOLS!!
Now, the banner ad on the right also weirds me out...for obvious reason, dont'cha think? "Obama Asks Moms to Return to School!" is of course accompanied by a photo of . . . Charles Manson Jr.???Ummm, WTF to the nth power?????? If that dude is matriculating, the moms will most assuredly NOT return to school. How is that ad supposed to be effective? And do you think Charles Manson would have taken a different path in life if he'd assumed the nickname "Chaz"? Seems to me that a Chaz couldn't perpetrate multiple homocides nor could he work the forehead swastika look. Chaz wears loafers without socks. Chaz likes yacht rock.
...UGGGHH.. sorry. 'Tis 3:16am EST...which means I'm overdue for some ZZzzzs. And it would seem when I deprive myself of slumber, I am prone to distasteful digressions. Again, sorry...
G'night!!
Au revoir HipHopapotamus & Rhymenoceros..
I'll always luv ya!! FOTC is done its run. I guess I understand the why of it--that they were feeling creatively strained or whatev, but that doesn't stop me from being supremely bummed.
Thursday, December 10, 2009
ummm YIKES
So I’ve told you that I’m designated office delivery wench, yes? Well, I am. Today I had to drive out to Lyme (and these far-away errands always pop up at the times when I'm at about a 1/2 tank of gas and trying to stretch out $25 until my next payday) to bring catheters to our nurse Shari who was having trouble with an insertion.
Yeeeeah….so it was NOT the simple delivery& hand-off& departure I was expecting. I wound up on flashlight detail. All those years of illuminating my Dad’s auto repairs came in handy. Actually I was hoping I’d start having auto repair flashbacks and start hallucinating carburetors & oil filters (which would have distracted me from the fact that I was looking at some lady’s urethra)
At one point, I’m holding the flashlight and Shari sez “ Do you want to be my assistant?” (without any further elaboration) And I’m trying to maintain my poker face (all the while, I’m trying to decide which sort of poker face would be most reassuring to the poor patient. I think a blank stare would be unnerving but a too smiley smile could be waaay worse…I tried to achieve a happy medium) and wanted to respond “I am NOT QUALIFIED to do *anything* beyond flashlight duty!!” but I thought a whole sentence might come out panicky sounding, so I said “Hmm?” Come to find out, she just wanted me to open a cath package because her hands were all be-gloved & lubey…so nothing too exceedingly clinical for me. But I was a bit petrified for a moment there.
I have long suspected that I don’t have what it takes to be a nurse….I am SO sure of it now!!
Yeeeeah….so it was NOT the simple delivery& hand-off& departure I was expecting. I wound up on flashlight detail. All those years of illuminating my Dad’s auto repairs came in handy. Actually I was hoping I’d start having auto repair flashbacks and start hallucinating carburetors & oil filters (which would have distracted me from the fact that I was looking at some lady’s urethra)
At one point, I’m holding the flashlight and Shari sez “ Do you want to be my assistant?” (without any further elaboration) And I’m trying to maintain my poker face (all the while, I’m trying to decide which sort of poker face would be most reassuring to the poor patient. I think a blank stare would be unnerving but a too smiley smile could be waaay worse…I tried to achieve a happy medium) and wanted to respond “I am NOT QUALIFIED to do *anything* beyond flashlight duty!!” but I thought a whole sentence might come out panicky sounding, so I said “Hmm?” Come to find out, she just wanted me to open a cath package because her hands were all be-gloved & lubey…so nothing too exceedingly clinical for me. But I was a bit petrified for a moment there.
I have long suspected that I don’t have what it takes to be a nurse….I am SO sure of it now!!
Thursday, December 03, 2009
so THE MAN thinks I'm an ingrate
At work, I used to have my desk near the referral services department and used to chat with the gals there throughout the day. Well, in October, they moved me to the other side of the office (to squash the banter? Perhaps. The move was never adequately explained to me) So these days, when I run into someone from referral services, it's a big "to-do" like Homecoming or something. They're all very glad to see me because when I left their sector of the building, there went the finest wit that workplace had to offer (haa..I jest. OF COURSE, I'm jesting)
Anyways, the other day, at probably quarter of 5, I had finally gotten around to doing my paper route. This is when, at the end of my day, I cart a box of paper around the office, throw a ream in each copier& leave a spare ream nearby. Just one of my 3000 jobs. And really, it's one job I wouldn't give up, as I kinda dig the mindless meniality of it. Sure as hell beats dealing with insurance companies. I can't imagine there's anything more convoluted and uber-bureaucratic than an insurance company. Well not much is, anyways.
But I digress...it's 4:45pm (EST) I'm loading paper into the referral services printer and Sue R is working there and working alongside her is her boss Sheila. Yeah, anyone who knows me knows that I am none too keen on the managerial ilk, so it's saying a lot that Sheila is one of my least favorite managers (she's popped up in this blog previously). Sue and I then have this rather banal exchange--
Sue: Hey Sandra. How you doin'??
Me: Siiigh. Good...now that it's 4:30 {4:30 pm is my quitting time. . .in theory}
Sue: It's actually past 4:30
Well, I don't know if my sigh was intolerably weary ( I don't think it was an extraordinary sigh) or if Sue's factual statement of the time sounded tinged with dangerous discontent, but something compelled Sheila to chime in (in this putrid mock-chipper voice) "BUT THAT'S GOOD BECAUSE WE ALL HAVE JOBS!!" This triggered a brief vignette in my head where I responded "Oh, piss off, you hideous HAG" whilest in reality I said nothing. Sue and I exchanged a bug eyed look that was clearly nonverbal shorthand for "OMG who the fuck asked HER??" But neither of us said another word. But still, I feel I would have been well within my rights if I did tell her to piss off, because really---who the fuck asked her?? I was not talking with Sheila. Sheila may not have noticed this, but I have made it a policy not to speak to Sheila unless she has directed a question at me. But even if she had been part of the convo, it wouldn't have killed her to allow me a modicum of half-hearted grumbling. Oh, and considering how wholeheartedly annoyed by my job I am these days, such mild kvetching is extremely mild. Does management not realize that there is something unnatural and Stepford-esque about a totally complaint-free workplace?
Well, Sheila has yet again failed to propagate a positive image of the man. And bitch DEFINITELY ain't gettin' a Christmas card from me!!
In other news , I slept from 6pm-7:30am last night and it was marvy, blissful & highly satisfactory. And below, I'm going to throw in a pic I like that I stole from another blog and that has nothing to do with any of the preceding blather...
Ahhh but my conscience commenced to nagging me instantly...I must give credit where due: that's from a waaaaay rad blog called Pleasant Family Shopping that I just discovered. You simply must scope it out (am going to add it to my sidebar, actually) This shot on that website (search for the KMart tag) expands to a ginormous, high def image. And that blog features beaucoup links to other similarly themed and also rad blogs/sites so there are HOURS of retro-retail diversion to be had...
Anyways, the other day, at probably quarter of 5, I had finally gotten around to doing my paper route. This is when, at the end of my day, I cart a box of paper around the office, throw a ream in each copier& leave a spare ream nearby. Just one of my 3000 jobs. And really, it's one job I wouldn't give up, as I kinda dig the mindless meniality of it. Sure as hell beats dealing with insurance companies. I can't imagine there's anything more convoluted and uber-bureaucratic than an insurance company. Well not much is, anyways.
But I digress...it's 4:45pm (EST) I'm loading paper into the referral services printer and Sue R is working there and working alongside her is her boss Sheila. Yeah, anyone who knows me knows that I am none too keen on the managerial ilk, so it's saying a lot that Sheila is one of my least favorite managers (she's popped up in this blog previously). Sue and I then have this rather banal exchange--
Sue: Hey Sandra. How you doin'??
Me: Siiigh. Good...now that it's 4:30 {4:30 pm is my quitting time. . .in theory}
Sue: It's actually past 4:30
Well, I don't know if my sigh was intolerably weary ( I don't think it was an extraordinary sigh) or if Sue's factual statement of the time sounded tinged with dangerous discontent, but something compelled Sheila to chime in (in this putrid mock-chipper voice) "BUT THAT'S GOOD BECAUSE WE ALL HAVE JOBS!!" This triggered a brief vignette in my head where I responded "Oh, piss off, you hideous HAG" whilest in reality I said nothing. Sue and I exchanged a bug eyed look that was clearly nonverbal shorthand for "OMG who the fuck asked HER??" But neither of us said another word. But still, I feel I would have been well within my rights if I did tell her to piss off, because really---who the fuck asked her?? I was not talking with Sheila. Sheila may not have noticed this, but I have made it a policy not to speak to Sheila unless she has directed a question at me. But even if she had been part of the convo, it wouldn't have killed her to allow me a modicum of half-hearted grumbling. Oh, and considering how wholeheartedly annoyed by my job I am these days, such mild kvetching is extremely mild. Does management not realize that there is something unnatural and Stepford-esque about a totally complaint-free workplace?
Well, Sheila has yet again failed to propagate a positive image of the man. And bitch DEFINITELY ain't gettin' a Christmas card from me!!
In other news , I slept from 6pm-7:30am last night and it was marvy, blissful & highly satisfactory. And below, I'm going to throw in a pic I like that I stole from another blog and that has nothing to do with any of the preceding blather...
Ahhh but my conscience commenced to nagging me instantly...I must give credit where due: that's from a waaaaay rad blog called Pleasant Family Shopping that I just discovered. You simply must scope it out (am going to add it to my sidebar, actually) This shot on that website (search for the KMart tag) expands to a ginormous, high def image. And that blog features beaucoup links to other similarly themed and also rad blogs/sites so there are HOURS of retro-retail diversion to be had...Sunday, November 29, 2009
new diversion
That last post lead me to peruse THIS neat-o Flickr set. I suppose it's just another way of me postponing slumber (since the sooner I snooze, the sooner yucky Monday a.m. comes) but I am genuinely digging this...
sights I've seen, places I've BEAN
A week ago tonight I journeyed to Salem NH. They have this mall there (Mall at Rockingham Park) that I had never before explored. Looked worth a peek to me, mostly because they have a LUSH store. Come to find out, it was a small LUSH... with this salesgirl that was ridiculously, OBNOXIOUSLY over-attentive, but I'm still glad I went there, and I most certainly came away with product!
But I didn't want to talk LUSH, I didn't even want to talk about the mall (which was lovely). After the mall shut down, I went down to Rte28 (which it seems is like the "main drag" of Salem) to see what I could see & attain some eats. While doing my laps of Rte 28, I was charmed & dazzled by their old timey DeMoula's grocery store. So charmed was I , that I later had to seek out a pic of it online. Behold---
I found multiple photos, but this was the best, sharpest one. It's a pity though, that no one has a night time shot of it, because that's what really mesmerised me (to the point of me nearly driving off the road) the giant red glowing scrawl against the night sky. It was lovely.
In the course of tracking down that photo, I found a message board convo about Salem NH supermarkets. It mentioned how there were plans to tear down this DeMoulas. The concensus on this seemed to be" O, frabjous day! Calloooo Callay!" and much joyful chortling. In other words, most everybody was enthused at the prospect of a more modernized supermarket. I, on the other hand, am bummed out that I didn't go in this supermarket (I did 2 drive-bys). I may never get the chance now. Well, perhaps,if I had gone in, I would find myself on the pro-demolishment bandwagon. Maybe it's really gross in there, and dusty, and run down. If so, than I concur with the masses: tear that mo-fo down. But if shiny & sparkly & well-maintained then...well, I find something very appealling about outdated interiors. I would love to have a supermarket 'round here that had something of that orange checkered 1975 aesthetic. I'm a sucker for retro. I like modern things too, but don't you have to have its opposite in order to appreciate it?
Friday, November 27, 2009
what I've learned from snacking & browsing YouTube
It is easy to dub old episodes of Sesame Street because of how the Muppet mouths just flop open & shut without forming any distinguishable letters. This can sometimes yield amusing results. For instance--
There were a few others that amused me, but I thought that one was a good pick to share because it is a quickie. And brevity is the soul of wit...I do believe that...you could never tell by the way I blather on, but I really, truly do.
A good (but not good-for-you) snack for a something salty hankerin' is Utz Gourmet Dark Russet Potato Chips. They are EXCELLENTE. I like Utz anyways. They make great cheez balls.
OR if you'd rather a sinful chocolate fix, try Moose Munch mini milk chocolate bars from Harry & David. Actually, you may as well get a big Moose Munch bar, because if you eat one of the minis, you shan't be able to stop until you've eaten 10 or 11 more.
There were a few others that amused me, but I thought that one was a good pick to share because it is a quickie. And brevity is the soul of wit...I do believe that...you could never tell by the way I blather on, but I really, truly do.
A good (but not good-for-you) snack for a something salty hankerin' is Utz Gourmet Dark Russet Potato Chips. They are EXCELLENTE. I like Utz anyways. They make great cheez balls.
OR if you'd rather a sinful chocolate fix, try Moose Munch mini milk chocolate bars from Harry & David. Actually, you may as well get a big Moose Munch bar, because if you eat one of the minis, you shan't be able to stop until you've eaten 10 or 11 more.
Crashers!!
I do (reluctantly) tear my attention away from cutesy-wootsy bear puppets from time to time and ponder actual, real news. I'm right now intrigued by this Salahi couple from D.C. who crashed a state dinner.
I'm kind of irked about how several articles I've read have officials keeping mum on account of an impending criminal investigation. Now, I presume this means investigating the Salahis as criminals. To which I say...oh pishawww.
To be sure they *are* gaudy fame whores. I mean, the fact that they are trying to land on one of those vile Real Housewives shows predisposes me to think ill of them. Many of the ilk I see on such reality shows kinda call to mind the two a-holes characters that Jason Sudekis & Kristen Wiig do on SNL. So, chances are,I would find this couple annoying in an evilly vapid sort of way. But one TV commentator was trying to draw comparisons between the Salahis and the Heeneys and that is off the mark...as well as a skoach harsh, methinks. The Heeneys exploited their cute little son, terrified a nation of sympathetic mommies, and sucked up beaucoup dinero & manpower for their little hoax. This Salahi stunt does not compare. I suppose it scares people because these guys could have been crazies, they could have started moshing or, worse, screaming and flinging poo at high-ranking dignitaries or whatnot. But ultimately, these were some very benign crashers. To me,their stunt was just...well, rascally, would be the best adjective I can apply. The whole episode has a kind of Ferris Bueller vibe to it and it feels to me unnecessary to punish the Salahis. I think what the Salahis deserve is a tsk-tsky finger wag aimed their way and a firm "Don't do it again, you little shits!" I mean, is it weird/misguided of me to think what they did was kinda awesome?? I suppose so.
Well, 'tis not to say that I'm all permissiveness. I do think some asses require kickage....and those asses are all employed by the US government. I mean, if a smooth line of B.S. is all you need to attain a close -range tete a tete with the Prez...well, that's damned problematic.
This story got me remembering this Buckingham Palace invasion I read about that happened back in the early 80s. Well the UK tale is considerably scarier (though resolved without much harm to anyone) I guess the two incidents just link themselves in my mind because they're both instances of CRRRAP security work where we should be doing our very best job.
I do wonder what ever became of Michael Fagan... I hope he got the help he needed (especially since he's a father of four)
I'm kind of irked about how several articles I've read have officials keeping mum on account of an impending criminal investigation. Now, I presume this means investigating the Salahis as criminals. To which I say...oh pishawww.
To be sure they *are* gaudy fame whores. I mean, the fact that they are trying to land on one of those vile Real Housewives shows predisposes me to think ill of them. Many of the ilk I see on such reality shows kinda call to mind the two a-holes characters that Jason Sudekis & Kristen Wiig do on SNL. So, chances are,I would find this couple annoying in an evilly vapid sort of way. But one TV commentator was trying to draw comparisons between the Salahis and the Heeneys and that is off the mark...as well as a skoach harsh, methinks. The Heeneys exploited their cute little son, terrified a nation of sympathetic mommies, and sucked up beaucoup dinero & manpower for their little hoax. This Salahi stunt does not compare. I suppose it scares people because these guys could have been crazies, they could have started moshing or, worse, screaming and flinging poo at high-ranking dignitaries or whatnot. But ultimately, these were some very benign crashers. To me,their stunt was just...well, rascally, would be the best adjective I can apply. The whole episode has a kind of Ferris Bueller vibe to it and it feels to me unnecessary to punish the Salahis. I think what the Salahis deserve is a tsk-tsky finger wag aimed their way and a firm "Don't do it again, you little shits!" I mean, is it weird/misguided of me to think what they did was kinda awesome?? I suppose so.
Well, 'tis not to say that I'm all permissiveness. I do think some asses require kickage....and those asses are all employed by the US government. I mean, if a smooth line of B.S. is all you need to attain a close -range tete a tete with the Prez...well, that's damned problematic.
This story got me remembering this Buckingham Palace invasion I read about that happened back in the early 80s. Well the UK tale is considerably scarier (though resolved without much harm to anyone) I guess the two incidents just link themselves in my mind because they're both instances of CRRRAP security work where we should be doing our very best job.
I do wonder what ever became of Michael Fagan... I hope he got the help he needed (especially since he's a father of four)
Head up my ARSE --usually I notice these things
It's only recently come to my attention that Snuggle, detergent-shilling bear extraordinaire, went out and got himself a dadburn makeover!! I mean, not like, this week, recently, but it's been within 2009 that it has come to my attention. At first I was contemplating the makeover itself, basically the big question of do I prefer today's Snuggy Bear OR Snuggle Classic? But then I was look for visual aides for this post, hoping that some article or blog post out there on the interwebs might have broached this subject already and would provide me with a before & after split screen shot (no dice. I had to make my own split screen in Paint with screen caps from YouTube). I did find a NY Times article about this makeover (no pics in it though) and I was stunned--nay, FLABBERGASTED -- to read that this change dates back to **2003**!! What the whaaa?? Things like that do not usually evade my radar...
So what do y'all think? New & "improved" Snuggle or Snuggle Classic? Or fuck the both of 'em, you like Corduroy? Just jestin' The latter is not an option.
You know, I felt at the outset, that my answer was going to be Snuggle Classic, simply because in most cases I tend to prefer things retro style... 9.5 times outta 10 I do. For instance, don't even get me ranting about what Fisher Price has done to their Little People!!
However, in the case of Snuggle I actually like the new bear. There's something cuter about the beady eyes + big dweeby ears combination he's now got goin' on.
Tuesday, November 24, 2009
Absolutely my *FAVE* Celeb News Du Jour
In analogy form: Ham is to Paula Deen as football is to Marcia Brady. Here be the write-up.
Believe it or not, I do like Paula Deen and I found her home furnishings collection to be surprisingly chic (judging from the wee glimpse of it I got flipping through a potty-adjacent Ladies Home Journal at my sister's) but nevertheless, people getting hit in the face with hams = DAAAAMN FUNNY. That is an empirical fact, Jack. Unless the face-ham collision results in surgery or brain injury.
Then it's just funny...sans "damn" and no caps-lock.
Believe it or not, I do like Paula Deen and I found her home furnishings collection to be surprisingly chic (judging from the wee glimpse of it I got flipping through a potty-adjacent Ladies Home Journal at my sister's) but nevertheless, people getting hit in the face with hams = DAAAAMN FUNNY. That is an empirical fact, Jack. Unless the face-ham collision results in surgery or brain injury.
Then it's just funny...sans "damn" and no caps-lock.
Friday, November 20, 2009
as promised...
...buuugggghhhh, I'm still feeling rather blogstipated, but I'm just going to start stream-of-conscience blathering about random, inconsequential crap, and hopefully that will "prime the pump"
I was SOOO horribly hagged out today. Granted it was our bi-monthly ok-to-wear-jeans day, but I took casual Fri to a WHOLE. 'NUTHA. LEVEL. Seriously, I made Nick Nolte's mugshot look hubba hubba. For the record, I would *never* have gone out somewhere after work looking like that, not even on an errand to Walgreens, but the fact that I'm apathetic to looking like sleestack guano at the office...well, I hate to concur with those dress-code-section-of-the-employee-handbook authors, but yes, my mode of dress and grooming is a reflection of my attitude toward the VNA. I'M OVERWORKED AND UNDERPAID, BITCHES!! Please, send me home for dissheveledness--I beg ya to.
As you'd likely presumed, I did not wear makeup today. And I've sprouted this facial blemish that is oddly positioned midway between the corner of my right eye and my right temple. So, as it happens, I do need to make a run to Walgreens...to avail myself of some sort of cover-up stick. I suppose, until I procure some, I do have black eyeliner --maybe I could morph it into a sort of homage-to-Audrey Horne beauty mark.
Tomorrow I'm going Christmas shopping-up to Williston, I think-with my Mom, my sister, the 4 kiddos, & my Aunt Laurel. So I'm assuming it's not going to be all that productive. I really do my best shopping on my own (a lone wolf) but I work pretty well in a group of 2 or 3. But tomorrow I probably won't get anything accomplished and I think I'll go out solo on Sunday. Not sure where I'll go on Sunday, but I'm thinking about checking out this mall . I gotta figure out how to find it, but after successfully making the 5 hr trek down & back from Elizabeth NJ last weekend, I'm feeling damned intrepid. (I had me a bit of a mini-holiday last weekend- toured a bit of NJ & NYC. You can check out the pics here. It's very nearly a photo-essay, I got so longwinded in my captions) I became smitten with the Tom-Tom I was borrowing. Although the one I had was a very entry-level bottom-of-the-line device. The one I added to my Amazon wish list was the TomTom ONE 140-S , which is a couple notches better.
But back to Christmas shopping: Ho HO HUMMmmm...ZZzzz. I am considerably less than stoked. Can't get in the holiday spirit. But I feel like I oughtta get myself in the spirit because, as one of my annoying coworkers annoyingly pointed out: only 3 more paychecks until Christmas. I *really* do love the sights & sounds & traditions of Christmas, very much so, but I'm feeling kind of overwhelmed at the outset. I always resolve to simplify Christmas, really enjoy it, but not go overboard with it, but I have this image in my head of the holiday season being like double Dutch jumproping or a whirlpool-- once you get into it, you're in it, and powerless over what the pace is, regardless of what your initial intentions were. OK, I confess..I have no firsthand experience whatsoever when it comes to Double Dutch. I've seen it done on Sesame Street though, and probably in a few other places on the telly and I think I get the general idea (idea, yes. In practice though, I suspect I would crack a femur *and* manage to get myself strangled) I do know a thing or two about whirlpools. Well, not naturally occurring ones, I should specify. Growing up, my family always had Labor Day parties at my Uncle Bud's house. During these festivities, all the cousins thought it just incredibly, unspeakably fun to run circles around the inner perimeter of the above-ground pool there. And run, and run (more like jog..the water resistance prevents you from a flat-out sprint, obviously. There was a lot of dramatic slo-mo running like I imagine I'd have seen in Chariots of Fire had I ever bothered to check that flick out. Not really into sporty movies...but I digress) until we'd manufactured a mighty current and then we'd just bob along in a circular motion, chortling at what clever little moppets we were . Whaddya want ? It was an above ground swimming pool--hardly the venue for swim races.
Anyways, the holiday season is something like that. Except with me hemorrhaging massive amounts of dinero. On a positive note though, I spelled "hemorrhaging" right on the first try without consulting a dictionary (until afterwards, to see if I got it right. And I did!! "Hemhorrhage" is a tricky bastard of a word...as is "hemorrhoid")
One thing I am excited about for the holidays is this TV special. Some people get all riotous over vampires and werewolves macking on sulky teenage outcast chicks... but I geek out over Cranford (and the like) Actually, if there was a specialty cable channel that played Brit lit adaptations/ period romance sort of fare, I might just be motivated to start paying for cable...
I was SOOO horribly hagged out today. Granted it was our bi-monthly ok-to-wear-jeans day, but I took casual Fri to a WHOLE. 'NUTHA. LEVEL. Seriously, I made Nick Nolte's mugshot look hubba hubba. For the record, I would *never* have gone out somewhere after work looking like that, not even on an errand to Walgreens, but the fact that I'm apathetic to looking like sleestack guano at the office...well, I hate to concur with those dress-code-section-of-the-employee-handbook authors, but yes, my mode of dress and grooming is a reflection of my attitude toward the VNA. I'M OVERWORKED AND UNDERPAID, BITCHES!! Please, send me home for dissheveledness--I beg ya to.
As you'd likely presumed, I did not wear makeup today. And I've sprouted this facial blemish that is oddly positioned midway between the corner of my right eye and my right temple. So, as it happens, I do need to make a run to Walgreens...to avail myself of some sort of cover-up stick. I suppose, until I procure some, I do have black eyeliner --maybe I could morph it into a sort of homage-to-Audrey Horne beauty mark.
Tomorrow I'm going Christmas shopping-up to Williston, I think-with my Mom, my sister, the 4 kiddos, & my Aunt Laurel. So I'm assuming it's not going to be all that productive. I really do my best shopping on my own (a lone wolf) but I work pretty well in a group of 2 or 3. But tomorrow I probably won't get anything accomplished and I think I'll go out solo on Sunday. Not sure where I'll go on Sunday, but I'm thinking about checking out this mall . I gotta figure out how to find it, but after successfully making the 5 hr trek down & back from Elizabeth NJ last weekend, I'm feeling damned intrepid. (I had me a bit of a mini-holiday last weekend- toured a bit of NJ & NYC. You can check out the pics here. It's very nearly a photo-essay, I got so longwinded in my captions) I became smitten with the Tom-Tom I was borrowing. Although the one I had was a very entry-level bottom-of-the-line device. The one I added to my Amazon wish list was the TomTom ONE 140-S , which is a couple notches better.
But back to Christmas shopping: Ho HO HUMMmmm...ZZzzz. I am considerably less than stoked. Can't get in the holiday spirit. But I feel like I oughtta get myself in the spirit because, as one of my annoying coworkers annoyingly pointed out: only 3 more paychecks until Christmas. I *really* do love the sights & sounds & traditions of Christmas, very much so, but I'm feeling kind of overwhelmed at the outset. I always resolve to simplify Christmas, really enjoy it, but not go overboard with it, but I have this image in my head of the holiday season being like double Dutch jumproping or a whirlpool-- once you get into it, you're in it, and powerless over what the pace is, regardless of what your initial intentions were. OK, I confess..I have no firsthand experience whatsoever when it comes to Double Dutch. I've seen it done on Sesame Street though, and probably in a few other places on the telly and I think I get the general idea (idea, yes. In practice though, I suspect I would crack a femur *and* manage to get myself strangled) I do know a thing or two about whirlpools. Well, not naturally occurring ones, I should specify. Growing up, my family always had Labor Day parties at my Uncle Bud's house. During these festivities, all the cousins thought it just incredibly, unspeakably fun to run circles around the inner perimeter of the above-ground pool there. And run, and run (more like jog..the water resistance prevents you from a flat-out sprint, obviously. There was a lot of dramatic slo-mo running like I imagine I'd have seen in Chariots of Fire had I ever bothered to check that flick out. Not really into sporty movies...but I digress) until we'd manufactured a mighty current and then we'd just bob along in a circular motion, chortling at what clever little moppets we were . Whaddya want ? It was an above ground swimming pool--hardly the venue for swim races.
Anyways, the holiday season is something like that. Except with me hemorrhaging massive amounts of dinero. On a positive note though, I spelled "hemorrhaging" right on the first try without consulting a dictionary (until afterwards, to see if I got it right. And I did!! "Hemhorrhage" is a tricky bastard of a word...as is "hemorrhoid")
One thing I am excited about for the holidays is this TV special. Some people get all riotous over vampires and werewolves macking on sulky teenage outcast chicks... but I geek out over Cranford (and the like) Actually, if there was a specialty cable channel that played Brit lit adaptations/ period romance sort of fare, I might just be motivated to start paying for cable...
Tuesday, November 17, 2009
I also don't believe...
I've had a posting drought of nearly 1 month. I'm so disappointed in meself!
Tuesday, October 20, 2009
Halloween costumes
I procrastinated (procrastinating is a specialty of mine, you know)on deciding on a Halloween costume and now that the big day is fast approaching well....I'm thinking of dressing up as a scarecrow. Sadly, I do own a pair of overalls. I mean, let the record show that I've not worn said overalls since the mid-nineties, I just don't throw anything away. So, it seems like, with overalls at the ready, I have only a few other elements I need to gather for a scarecrow get up. I've even bought some raffia (looked less itchy than hay) for peeking out of my shirt cuffs/neck. So I'm halfway resigned to scarecrowdom but.... scarecrow just feels like one of those "I'm-gradually-giving-up-on-Halloween" type costumes. Another example of this type costume (an extreme example) is my brother-in-law : he was given a pair of scrubs at the birth of one of his kiddos and that has been his go-to "costume" every year my sister has been successful in badgering him to dress up for Halloween-- Dr. Greg. Laaaaaame.
I don't wanna be lame!! I f-ing LOVE Halloween!! It's my dang birthday!! I wish I knew how to sew or that I had mad money to fritter away on a costume. I wonder how much $$$ it takes to whip up one of these costumes?Then, not only would I be able to take PRIDE in my Halloween costume, but I would also enjoy the excuse to answer everything with "Yyyyyip yip yipyip yip UH HUH" for an entire night.
Oh, I dunno. Sandra is RACKED WITH INDECISION. Scarecrow may be out. Anybody wanna buy some raffia?
I don't wanna be lame!! I f-ing LOVE Halloween!! It's my dang birthday!! I wish I knew how to sew or that I had mad money to fritter away on a costume. I wonder how much $$$ it takes to whip up one of these costumes?Then, not only would I be able to take PRIDE in my Halloween costume, but I would also enjoy the excuse to answer everything with "Yyyyyip yip yipyip yip UH HUH" for an entire night.
Oh, I dunno. Sandra is RACKED WITH INDECISION. Scarecrow may be out. Anybody wanna buy some raffia?
Saturday, October 17, 2009
Thursday, October 08, 2009
my car and I are both eeeeediots...
I ran out of gas on the interstate this evening. That sort of half sucks. I mean, it's certainly not a tremendous amount of fun, but there's also that big rush of relief when you discover that your car is not egregiously fucked up after all. Just needed a li'l drinkie (like yours truly, after the week I's been having). I mean, in retrospect, it seems obvious that it was outta gas-- it started getting all "chuggy" acting, like it did that one other time a few years ago when I ran outta gas, and it was behaving just Wayne's car does in the nail-biting climactic ending of Wayne's World 2 (*SPOILER ALERT*:he ran out of gas). But at the time of the breakdown, I was thinking it could be **anything** and it sure felt like it HAD to be the most catastrophic of catastrophic vehicular failures. Yep..zero to panic mode in 1.3 seconds....c'est moi.
I first wanna point out, in my defense, that my car has looong had a busted sending unit and my gas light will oftentimes come on after I just filled my tank. Basically the gas gauge has no significance whatsoever. So I just hit the tripometer every time I fill up and then at around 300 miles travelled I fill it again. I mean, figuring I get 20 miles to the gallon (and I'm probably getting a bit better than that) with a 17 gallon tank, I would be able to go 340 miles on a full tank. So if I refuel everytime I hit 300, I'm giving myself a decent buffer. My tripometer today? Read 270 miles. What the fuck, right? I must not have filled the tank the last time I "filled up" (I don't really remember whether I did or not). That's the only way thing that makes sense though.
Oh, and in semi-related news. I thought MY BRAKES were going to shit last night. They sounded all hissy and the pedal was going down to the floor a bit further than it had been. Now I don't know if those are the usual symptoms of driving 13miles with your e-brake on, but that's what I did last night. Y'see, I went to my friend Roxanny's for dinner & a flick (I've been on a helluva Vincent Price kick, but last night we went for a cinematic change-o'-pace and watched Kiss Kiss Bang Bang). Upon arrival, when I parked on her slopey driveway, I pushed down my e-brake pedal and thought "Don't forget you have your e-brake on!!" I know what you're thinking ...that I forgot. Oh, ye have little faith!! I did not back up so much as an inch without pulling that brake release lever...or..ummm...what I thought was the brake release lever. The brake release pull in my car is in the vicinity of my left knee (well, not where my left knee is now, but where it is when I am sitting in the driver's seat, stooopid!) And, just to the left of the brake release is the Open-the-hood pull. And that is what I pulled last night when I left Rox's . FAAAAAANTASTICO!! No, I didn't have a scary, hood-flying-up&obscuring-my-vision moment while driving (like in Tommy Boy....or was it Black Sheep....quite possibly Planes, Trains, & Automobiles) because of that brilliant little latchy deal. Though it was a bit of a scary moment when I hopped in the jalopy this a.m. to zip off to work and I spotted how the e-brake pedal was down to the floor. Holy Fucking Mother of Charles Nelson Reilly how badly did I fuck up my car last night??? The brakes seem to be working fine. I have detected no lasting damage from the e-brake faux pas....unless the e-brake drag caused me to expend 10X the normal amount of gas to drive that 13 miles than I normally would , thereby leading to this afternoon's predicament. But I really think that had to be me not filling up fully...had to be.
I thought the cigarette lighter was the automotive equivalent of an appendix, but now I'm rethinking that. I'm wondering if the fucking e-brake does ANYTHING at all...
I first wanna point out, in my defense, that my car has looong had a busted sending unit and my gas light will oftentimes come on after I just filled my tank. Basically the gas gauge has no significance whatsoever. So I just hit the tripometer every time I fill up and then at around 300 miles travelled I fill it again. I mean, figuring I get 20 miles to the gallon (and I'm probably getting a bit better than that) with a 17 gallon tank, I would be able to go 340 miles on a full tank. So if I refuel everytime I hit 300, I'm giving myself a decent buffer. My tripometer today? Read 270 miles. What the fuck, right? I must not have filled the tank the last time I "filled up" (I don't really remember whether I did or not). That's the only way thing that makes sense though.
Oh, and in semi-related news. I thought MY BRAKES were going to shit last night. They sounded all hissy and the pedal was going down to the floor a bit further than it had been. Now I don't know if those are the usual symptoms of driving 13miles with your e-brake on, but that's what I did last night. Y'see, I went to my friend Roxanny's for dinner & a flick (I've been on a helluva Vincent Price kick, but last night we went for a cinematic change-o'-pace and watched Kiss Kiss Bang Bang). Upon arrival, when I parked on her slopey driveway, I pushed down my e-brake pedal and thought "Don't forget you have your e-brake on!!" I know what you're thinking ...that I forgot. Oh, ye have little faith!! I did not back up so much as an inch without pulling that brake release lever...or..ummm...what I thought was the brake release lever. The brake release pull in my car is in the vicinity of my left knee (well, not where my left knee is now, but where it is when I am sitting in the driver's seat, stooopid!) And, just to the left of the brake release is the Open-the-hood pull. And that is what I pulled last night when I left Rox's . FAAAAAANTASTICO!! No, I didn't have a scary, hood-flying-up&obscuring-my-vision moment while driving (like in Tommy Boy....or was it Black Sheep....quite possibly Planes, Trains, & Automobiles) because of that brilliant little latchy deal. Though it was a bit of a scary moment when I hopped in the jalopy this a.m. to zip off to work and I spotted how the e-brake pedal was down to the floor. Holy Fucking Mother of Charles Nelson Reilly how badly did I fuck up my car last night??? The brakes seem to be working fine. I have detected no lasting damage from the e-brake faux pas....unless the e-brake drag caused me to expend 10X the normal amount of gas to drive that 13 miles than I normally would , thereby leading to this afternoon's predicament. But I really think that had to be me not filling up fully...had to be.
I thought the cigarette lighter was the automotive equivalent of an appendix, but now I'm rethinking that. I'm wondering if the fucking e-brake does ANYTHING at all...
Tuesday, October 06, 2009
miscellaneous oddments
Today I was working in the supply room unpacking boxes of envelopes and I farted. Not terribly loud. Medium loud. The unfortunate part of this scenario is that I wasn't in there alone. Larry was in there too, but he was at his desk, across the room, with a couple of metal shelving units between us, and he was listening (I hope, very intently) to Howie Carr on the radio. Also it was odorless. And, in case it was heard over the blatherings of Howie, I was careful to suppress any audible reaction (though I felt myself blush instantly) and did a brilliant job of following it up with a lot of box unpacking noises so that one might think it was an odd audio byproduct of that task...the pooting of box lids or something. (Yeah, I dunno. It was a REFLEX...not very well thought out)
Well, whether it was noticed or not, he didn't say anything and I shook off my embarrassment pretty swiftly.
In other trivial, lowbrow news, my father had to replace his toilet seat. For some unfathomable reason, he did not trudge down to Walmart like 90% of the populace would. No, he got online (part of it, I think, is he's just inordinately pleased with himself for mastering online shopping) and tracked down what I presume is the finest toilet seat known to mankind. Or I hope it is anyways...he paid $46. for it. Am I missing something? Is that the going rate for toilet seats nowadays?? I'm thinking it's a smidge pricey.
The first thing he said to me when I got here tonight was "Didja check out the bathroom??" All eager-like he was. I suppose, if I'd shilled out $46....well, if I wasn't enthused, I would make myself be... I told him for that price it should wipe your ass for you.
(I know, I know...I'm so crude. I promise my next post will be 100 x more refined)
Well, whether it was noticed or not, he didn't say anything and I shook off my embarrassment pretty swiftly.
In other trivial, lowbrow news, my father had to replace his toilet seat. For some unfathomable reason, he did not trudge down to Walmart like 90% of the populace would. No, he got online (part of it, I think, is he's just inordinately pleased with himself for mastering online shopping) and tracked down what I presume is the finest toilet seat known to mankind. Or I hope it is anyways...he paid $46. for it. Am I missing something? Is that the going rate for toilet seats nowadays?? I'm thinking it's a smidge pricey.
The first thing he said to me when I got here tonight was "Didja check out the bathroom??" All eager-like he was. I suppose, if I'd shilled out $46....well, if I wasn't enthused, I would make myself be... I told him for that price it should wipe your ass for you.
(I know, I know...I'm so crude. I promise my next post will be 100 x more refined)
Saturday, October 03, 2009
A gentle breeze from Hushabye Mountain
Softly blows o'er lullaby bay.
It fills the sails of boats that are waiting--
Waiting to sail your worries away.
It isn't far to Hushabye Mountain
And your boat waits down by the key.
The winds of night so softly are sighing--
Soon they will fly your troubles to sea.
So close your eyes on Hushabye Mountain.
Wave good-bye to cares of the day.
And watch your boat from Hushabye Mountain
Sail far away from lullaby bay.
-----------------------------------------------------------
Watching Sadie & Lucy tonight we watched approx 1/2 of Chitty Chitty Bang Bang. Lots of great songs in that movie, but I think that lullaby might be my fave. And that whole scene always gets me a smidge verklempt, y'know??
Friday, October 02, 2009
tube blather
Aside from Heroes on Monday night, Thursday night is overrun with all the decent must-see shows. Thursday has: Grey's Anatomy, The Mentalist, The Office, It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia , *and*Project Runway. Oh, but speaking of Heroes--to backtrack a skoach-- I'm glad it's still on Monday nights (takes some of the suckiness out of the customary Monday suckiness, you know) HOWEVER, that said, NBC failed to send me the memo about bumping it up to 8pm. I was very conscientious to keep an eye on my watch during this past Monday night's shopping expedition and made sure I was home before 9pm (8:40 to be precise) Consequently, I only saw the last 15 min or so of Heroes. How vexing.
I watched most of my Thurs shows however. I only caught bits & pieces of The Office, because I was more engaged by Project Runway. I know I've declared Christopher as one of my fave designers (Logan is my other, BTW) but MAAAAN, he made it hard for me to keep on lovin' him this past episode. I can't think why I would have a problem with anybody--be they a he-body or a she-body-- being expressive of their feelings. On a rational level, I think that's fine--commendable, even. And yet... once the overt emotion gets to a certain degree I truly find it offputting. How callous of me, right? Anyways, Christopher was theeesclose to getting the ax and he was a blubbering MESS. It was kinda excruciating to behold. I'd hate to see the depth& breadth of his devastation had he actually been eliminated. Louise was a trooper though. Just the plaintive coo of a meadowlark and some wise parting words accompanied by mildly watery eyes. She held up well, I must say.
I can't help but let my reactions to the personalities color my at-home runway judging a bit. Like the top 2 designs: Carol Hannah's & Irina's...I liked both of them quite a lot and thought they deserved attaining the top 2 slots. However, I was *not* wanting to see Irina win again...mostly because she is a bitch-on-wheels. Not quite as bitchy as the dreadful Nicholas, but pretty bad.
I watched most of my Thurs shows however. I only caught bits & pieces of The Office, because I was more engaged by Project Runway. I know I've declared Christopher as one of my fave designers (Logan is my other, BTW) but MAAAAN, he made it hard for me to keep on lovin' him this past episode. I can't think why I would have a problem with anybody--be they a he-body or a she-body-- being expressive of their feelings. On a rational level, I think that's fine--commendable, even. And yet... once the overt emotion gets to a certain degree I truly find it offputting. How callous of me, right? Anyways, Christopher was theeesclose to getting the ax and he was a blubbering MESS. It was kinda excruciating to behold. I'd hate to see the depth& breadth of his devastation had he actually been eliminated. Louise was a trooper though. Just the plaintive coo of a meadowlark and some wise parting words accompanied by mildly watery eyes. She held up well, I must say.
I can't help but let my reactions to the personalities color my at-home runway judging a bit. Like the top 2 designs: Carol Hannah's & Irina's...I liked both of them quite a lot and thought they deserved attaining the top 2 slots. However, I was *not* wanting to see Irina win again...mostly because she is a bitch-on-wheels. Not quite as bitchy as the dreadful Nicholas, but pretty bad.
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