Bah... I'm in a foul mood. Certainly not a "black" mood but I've found myself in...I guess one would say..."the doldrums"
I sense my car is near death*. And it's made me philosophical... well, maybe I should choose the adjective "contemplative". "Philosophical" may be putting too grand a spin on it. I mean, did the great philosophers expend a lot of time & great philosophizing on the subject of finances? Philosophy101 is soooo far in my rear view, I honestly can't say. I remember I had a smallish crush on my professor and that's about all I can recollect. Which triggers another recurring worry of mine-- that my mental retention is not what it ought to be. But that's a tangential stressor...my main focus these days being MONEY. That's right: I've got my mind on my money and my money on my mind. Or lack thereof as the case seems to be. I've got my lack of a mind on my lack of money and my lack of money on my lacking mind. FECK.
I sometimes really do get the feeling that money--a nice, sudden, influx of excessive fundage-- would solve all my problems. Rationally, I know it wouldn't solve EVERYTHING. But, dammit, it feels like it would. And let's be real-- it sure wouldn't hurt. I think those people in the "Money can't buy happiness" camp are rather simplistic. Money could at least rent happiness. And that's better than no happiness at all, right? Hey, I don't need to be OBSCENELY RICH (though I can't imagine I'd hate it) I would just like to have enough so that issues like this one with my P.O.S. car didn't loom as this GIANT FUCKING IMPEDIMENT in my mind. Another thing that would be nice would be the ability to travel and not have to mete out just the exact number of ETO days you can afford to take, and not have to dick around with debates like-- lemme see, will I save more money at the Days Inn or the Super 8? If I get a room with a fridge, I can stock it with eats and save money by only dining out for one meal... Sure, there can be a certain thrill to being thrifty, but I imagine you get more of a kick out of it if you really don't *have* to be.
On the other hand, I am not destitute, and my annoying poindexter of a superego is piping up to say "At lot of people are worse off than you!!" Aforesaid superego also wants to point out that my $$ woes are only about 50% attributable to the shitty wage I pull in...the other 50%, I'm sure is due to my own calamitous style of financial planning. And I use the word "planning" VERY loosely in this instance. So all these important points duly noted...but that said ....
My id & ego just want MORE MONEY so it looks like my inner Jiminy Cricket is outnumbered, 2 to 1. I need to shop around for a 2nd job. I'm going to fall into that Catch 22 of having enough money but no time to enjoy it vs conversely, having the time...and no $$ to do anything. Is that a proper Catch 22 ?? I'm sure I learned all about the catch 22 at some point, but the definition has since escaped my sieve-like noggin. Oh, then there's finding that second job and then having no way to get there...which I realize is not a Catch 22....'tis just a downright PISSAH.
* specifics of my car ills- the check engine light popped on. Which I'm apt to be dismissive of ...but the car does feel to me like it's...I dunno...draggy. Like something is stepping on its tail...like it's going uphill all the time... but then I wonder if I'm really sensing the car is driving oddly or if the glow of the check engine light is causing me to imagine it. If the car *is* effed up, I ought not sink more $$ into the heap, I should just find a new car. (but uhhh, see post above re: obstructions to that scheme) I need to find a car that is little to no maintenance (and I mean preventative maintenance too!!) and lasts me forever...which is not going to happen because there is no such car. So maybe if that is too much to ask, how about a car that can specifically tell you WTF is the matter with it? I do believe Modern Science promised us fecking flying Jetson cars by the year 2010, the least they could do toward that end is give us autos that don't have totally nebulous warning lights. I mean, your check engine light comes on, and it could be one of ohhhhh, 3,000 different maladies. But then you take it to Auto Zone, where they can hook up one of their little pocket protecter computers to somewhereabouts under your dash and it burps forth a code. So the car--that sadistic shitass car-- *does* have a more specific idea of what is ailing it!! So why can't we get more specific indicator lights? But nooooo, for 50+ years we have the same, not overly helpful, alarmist set of indicator lights. And I am presently plagued by the worst of them all, which does the equivalent of yelling "AAAAAAAGH! YOUR ENGINE!" Which is especially vexing, since some of the times, the boo boo is not even in the vicinity of the sonofabitchin' engine.
KITT. I need KITT. If David Hasslehoff has custody, there may be hope. Y'know, I happen to have a coupon for $1 . off one Wendy's Baconator in my email inbox....so..you know... perhaps a barter...
No comments:
Post a Comment