Flaggy flaggy flaggy flag

As I mentioned recently, I'm not at all immune to silly humor. Quite the opposite, actually.

To wit, I am a big fan of this digital short---




Oh, you *sooo* had me at "Neo-Nazi Potsie flag"

UFS

I was picking the mail up from the mailbox at the end of our building today and I had a slightly oddball encounter. I was retreating from said mailbox and walking up the walkway to Dartware (one of our neighbor businesses) is this middle-aged fellow who, in one hand, has a plastic plate with a half sandwich on it (I neglected to note what variety of sammie) and with his other hand he was pushing a unicycle. I have seen someone unicycling in that parking lot before, but I don’t think it was this same guy I saw today. So I have hatched a theory that there is a unicycling cult at that company. I haven’t decided yet if they’re ALL about unicycling, or if unicycling is just a piece of their Core Values. They may be UFS (Unicyclists For Satan).

Anyways, I chatted with the sandwich-bearing unicyclist this afternoon, and he didn’t seem overtly Satanic. I jokingly warned him “Don’t you DARE eat that while unicycling! You could CHOKE. That is very dangerous.” And he said , “ I won’t! There is a lot of paperwork involved “ --or something like that, I’m paraphrasing, I hope I didn’t hear him wrong about paperwork (I’m 99% sure that’s what he said) because I then said “Oh, the waivers? Yeah, I can imagine…”

movies of my weekend

I had a restful, uneventful weekend. I wish it wasn't coming to a close. I know it's awfully trite of me, but still-- I LOOOOATHE Mondays.

I did a bit of reading (quite a bit, really, I'm almost to the end of The Children's Story by AS Byatt and that's a pretty gargantuan read) and watched some movies-- 2 of which, I found in the bargain bin at Price Chopper ($3.99-- what a coup!)

The Incredible Journey of Mary Bryant this is a period drama, so right at the outset I'm thinking-- right up my alley, y'know? But there was too much misery, & starving& rape & dying kids in this movie. It was very heavy, bleak affair overall. But it did have its redeeming points, the foremost one being that I only paid $3.99 for the thing. Also I like Romola Garai and she gave a great performance in this flick. And I find Jack Davenport to be rather yummy, in a Brit sort of way ( ..happens to be one of my favorite modes of yumminess!!)

In a very different vein, I watched Evil Roy Slade. I had, somewhere online, read about this movie. I can't really recall how I stumbled on to it, but it sounded like a Blazing Saddles knock-off...except cheezier. (Blazing Saddles done in the style of Top Secret!) So *of course* I was interested. It seemed like just the sort of obscure little film that would be public domain, but I couldn't find it to watch online anywhere. And it was fairly cheap on Amazon but once you combined that with shipping charges it totalled up to more $$$ than I wanted to shill out. So I sorta pushed it to the back of my mind, where it languished until I spied it in the bargain bin at Price Chopper and then I remembered I had been wanting to check it out. I'm glad I shilled out the 4 bucks--it's pretty damn funny. Though, you have to be tolerant of silly humor. For instance, one of the scenes that gave me the biggest guffaws, was the scene of singing sheriff Bing Bell riding in to town...




"Hello Mommy Nature!" I sooo love that.

sign #648 that I am a bad person

Grrrr...someone in the training class next door keeps coughing and coughing and coughing. … just a dry little cough, spates of two or three at intervals of like, every 15 seconds. I mean, surely, if it was a barky-bronchial sort of cough, I’d feel a twinge of sympathy. As it is I am *trying* to muster up some sympathy. But honestly , I’m just annoyed. I want to like, take a handful of lozenges and do a driveby (or, a “run-by” in this case, I suppose) and pelt her with ‘em, run away. Have refrained thus far…still straining to sympathize…

An Observation

Today I went on one of my frequent errands up to the hospital (bringing blood samples to the lab). I had to , uhh, avail myself of the facilities while I was there. It struck me as rather odd that an institution that has hand sanitizer dispensers two strides away from every elevator on EVERY floor, does *not* provide toilet seat covers. I’m not a stickler about seat covers (NOT one of those ladies that stashes a pack in her purse) but if they are provided, I generally partake (unless in the throes of an emergency episode, entering the restroom at a fast jog / run/ sprint) On the other hand, if they don’t provide…I’m NOT hover-squatting. F*ck that.

I mean I realize that no one is going to get H1N1 anally from plonking down on a grotty terlet. But isn’t a hospital supposed to be…I dunno…hyper-sanitary? Like, even more so than TJ Maxx?

Then again, maybe they’ve done their share of surgically removing seat covers from peoples’ ass cracks and that made them decide that triple cleaning the toilets was a better option.

three uneventful vids of not much happening

On Valentine's Day, sad sack singleton that I am, I volunteered to watch my nieces & neph so my sister & bro-in-law could have "date night". The losers wound up going grocery shopping. Oh well...


Here's me (behind the Flip cam) and the kids out partaking of the fresh VT air. I am worried that Sadie is venturing too far up into the woods and that worry is causing me to bellow unbecomingly (be forewarned) Also, I am not being nice to poor Seth, who is trying desparately to get his b-ball skillz captured on camera.

In this next bit, Lucy informs me that, aside from Seth's athletic skills (he IS an uber-jock) he's also pretty adept at deforestation.

Ah, well, of course, I'm paraphrasing that somewhat. See for yourself--

So, you think all that's uneventful, wait'll you scope this ... the other night, when leaving work, I filmed about a half minute of the early evening sky. No, no UFO sightings or anything like that, I was just struck by the blueness...how very intense GLOWY blue it was. Was diggin' the gradation of it---light blue horizon to a sort of navy sky overhead. I thought it looked like the skies of a Maxfield Parrish work.

I don't know how well all that translated on to "film", HD or no...

I was so chronically hagged out today, I could barely bear it. And I actually, miraculously, saw a cute guy in the vicinity of my office (no one I actually work with..inhabitant of the office next door). Normally, this would be a joyous occasion but today-- with my chapped face, my Mémère slacks on, ill fitting sweater, and tore-up, rolling-down knee highs--AACK! I very nearly dove into my car.

In other unextraordinary news of the day, my iPod surprised me with how very random its random shuffle can be--it played "Nightmare on My Street" during my commute home. That's right-- DJ Jazzy Jeff & the Fresh Prince's masterful foray into horror-comedy. Or comedy-horror. Well, to use the Crayola principle the dominant adjective comes second..(blue green is a green with a bit of blue in it; red orange is an orange with a soupçon of red).so ...horror-comedy it is. Anyways, that song cracks me up ("I'm your DJ now, Princie!!")

Every now and then I just MARVEL at the fact that "The Fresh Prince" and the poised, fairly handsome, big box office draw that is Will Smith are one in the same human being. Also, every now and then, I wonder if DJ Jazzy Jeff is quite as Jazzy as he was back in tha day. What is he up to? Does he ever think to himself--Hey..well, at least I got top billing, eh?

In a total musical 180, I was listening to a classical/opera/showtunes playlist last night (these genres are always in my "Top 25 Played" 'cause I listen to them nightly as I drift off to Slumbertown..or...if you so prefer-- Snoozeville) And I suddenly took notice of Carl Maria von Weber's "Huntsmen's Chorus". I guess I've probably heard it before, I don't know why it didn't strike me previously. I'm kinda smitten with it now.

the sloppy jalopy report

I've been driving my car with the check engine light on for nearly 3wks now (first blinked on & freaked me out back on 1/25). Stupid? For sure...though I'd rather spin it as brash recklessness.

I have noticed a sort of sluggishness in its performance, but this sensation is so subtle, that I wonder if I'm imagining it on account of check-engine-light-induced-paranoia. This sluggishness does seem to occur when my temp gauge is indicating that my car is waay cold. Cars just perform differently in the cold, right? Or it's not unusual for them to anyways...

So I'm driving it under the moronic notion that if the engine was going to undergo a catastrophic failure, it would have done so by now. I've considered cruising into Auto Zone and having them hook it up to the computer & read me a code but I've procrastinated on that because--
1. I'm lazy
2. Dread-- they may tell me (for like, the 3rd time) that it's just a bum O2 sensor which is no major deal...BUT they may also tell me that my car is on the verge of massive, multiple, cataclysmic, nastybad organ failure and about to incur beaucoup repair costs that I can't afford. I'm not tryin' tah hear that, Homes.
3. Just in general-- procrastinating's my favorite. No, it sucks. I know it sucks. But I do it all the time.

So I vacillate between white-knuckled,on-edge driving, expecting the car to shit the proverbial bed at any moment...and half-suspecting that it's just a no-biggie O2 sensor issue again. But everytime I think-- "Yeah...the car's ok" I rebuke myself for the thought. You know how lotsa folks rave about "the power of positive thinking"? Well, I'm a big believer in the negative power of positive thinking. A nutso part of me thinks that such a thought will instantaneously finish my car off. Another example: when driving in bad snow and/or ice, I will sometimes mentally assure myself with a li'l "Doin' good" or something like that, but then I quickly follow it up with: "DON'T be so self-congratulatory!!" To put it concisely- I'm a big believer in the possibility of jinxing myself. Not that I've ever done it... or that I rationally think that it happens... oh, shit, I wasn't all that concise about that, was I??

Believe it or no, there is something to be said for white-knuckled, edgy driving. I have acquired, in the last few weeks, a heightened sense of place. As I drive, I keep mental notes on where I am. Northbound on Rte 120, just passed the cross street of Etna Rd, approaching cross street of Lafayette. This, obviously, is so that when I phone for roadside assistance, I can clearly articulate where to come rescue me.

Also, I'm probably avoiding a lot of aural damage that I would normally be incurring. Usually, I am one to have my music cranked up to the max (to ELEVEN!!) --sometimes rattling my side mirrors, and always loud enough to cover up my singing (that is key) But I've been very uncharacteristically driving with my radio OFF. Y'see I've been straining very hard to try to listen to the under-the-hood innerworkings of my ride....I've even caught myself, when wanting to extra-listen, turning down the volume on the radio that's not on. I fully realize how kinda ridiculous I'm being. I'm not the freakin' "Car Whisperer",after all!! And all I can really hear, while in motion, is the loud thrumming road noise of my winter tires and the rattle of a box of white Tic Tacs I have in my dash cubby. Not terribly informative. But I listen extra hard when idling at a stop light, or letting it idle before I shut it off. And it sounds VERY NORMAL. I'm especially relieved not to hear "THUNKKK!" when I turn it off. I don't know why I'm specifically trepidatious of "THUNKKK!" but yeah, that stole into my head for some odd reason, at some point, and there you have it.

The lack of THUNKKK! & nonominous purr of my idylling engine is , I fear, slooooowly lulling me out of my High Orange Car Terror Alert status. This is bad, because the best thing about white-knuckled ultra-paranoid driving, is that when you DO break down at the side of the road, it's almost a fecking RELIEF. You have sort of a resigned sighing, "Ah well. It's finally done it now, eh?" sort of reaction....as opposed to the "AGH! SHIT! WHAT THE FUCK?" panic that will hit a driver of normal mindset.

In a totally, nonautomotive aside, it occurs to me that my run-on sentence rate was impossibly higher than usual in this post. Please forgive me my rambliness!!

movies in the works

There is to be a remake of The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas. I don't fully condone the Hollywood trend of remaking everything under the sun . But it certainly beats another prevalent biz trend of spinning toys and board games into movies. I feel like, if screenwriters are running out of fresh new movie ideas, the next best option is to start adapting all the novels. Really. I mean--ALL OF THEM. It boggles the mind that there will be movies of LEGOS AND VIEWMASTERS (both in 2012, per IMDB. Oh yes, I should specify: these be 2 **separate** movies. There is no upcoming movie featuring both Legos and Viewmasters . That would be preposterous!!) when there are perfectly enjoyable books out there that haven't been adapted for the big screen. It feels wasteful. It feels wrong. You catch my drift.
But back to this Li'l Whorehouse thing--
Perhaps the movie industry hasn't run out of new ideas completely, but I think it's a given that the reservoir of new ideas is noticeably drying up . So in that case, I suppose remaking old movies isn't the WORST possibility. It's not as good as a novel movie...but it's better than a g.d. Rubik's Cube movie. What I find sort of amusing is the ever-looming "What will they re-hash next??" question. The more weird or obscure the better, I say. So maybe I'll see Best Little Whorehouse. After all, it is purported to be a musical ...and I'm a sucker for musicals (have yet to get around to seeing Nine...but I really wanted to) So maybe I'd see it. Depends on the casting..

Casting is also key to the success of the proposed Nat'l Lampoon's Vacation sequel. That aforelinked article says (citing a Variety article) that Chevy Chase will at least cameo in it as Clark Griswold. That's as it should be--Chevy Chase is the heart of those movies (though I can't vouch for the Vegas one, having skipped it) . Some of the commenters on the article championed Anthony Michael Hall as Rusty. I like that idea, but wonder... can AMH be funny? I mean, I know he used to be funny...damned funny, actually... but can he be funny NOW?? Now that he's come thru his steroids phase, and his voice has changed and he spent gawd-knows how many seasons on that Dead Zone show( <--that had to have sapped him of something, eh?) ?? Oh, I did happen to see the episode of "Community" that he guested on, but he sort of underwhelmed me there. Unfortunately, I really don't think a studio would give a wide theater release to a movie with AMH in a lead role. I wish it would happen though. I do so like to see these blast-from-the-past faves getting work (sincerely!!) This transitions rather nicely to...

The Alicia Silverstone vampire movie. This is reportedly an upcoming project of Amy Heckerling, who is maybe not the hottest property nowadays but a Heckerling movie would be a hell of a lot better for Silverstone than saaaay, popping up on some CW show as somebody's mom as she is near-susceptible to doing. If they crank this out before vamp-mania fades away, it could be a sweet comeback for both star & director.

Lastly...
It probably does not surprise anyone who knows me that I am miiiiighty stoked for this 2011 flick...

survey sezzzz

I was browsing a news item somewhere on the comcast site, and spotted a survey. Nothing to do with the news item, just a sidebar thing ..for Valentine's Day, I'm presuming.

Well, I'm quite often game for a survey...provided it's nothing current events related, nothing pithy like that and not being administered by someone accosting me in a mall.

So I voted. See below for a screen cap of the results (thus far)...

I promise 300 awesome points and a prize-yet-to-be-thunk-up-by-me to whomever guesses which song got my vote. . . .

haaa!

Yes, I STILL watch SNL (I am one of the few) and though lately the Digital Shorts have been more “miss” than “hit” for me (Laser Cats, for instance, needs to die) this short from the 1/30 episode cracked me up. Hi-fecking-larious.

I don’t watch Mad Men, but on account of this genius portrayal of “Sergio” I pledge myself a lifelong Jon Hamm fan…

ohmigawd...I love this so much but it sooo RUHtarded..

Today is my nephew's birthday. It's not easy for me to shop for boys, but I think I kicked ass this year. I bought him this splendiforous object d'art to adorn his room(did NOT pay $30. for it, please let the record show), and this very apropos tee. And then I got him a used XBox 360 game at Newbury Comics. The kid LOVES football, and even when he's couch taterin' it and engrossed in a video game, 9 times outta 10, he's playing Madden. So I wasn't sure that he'd take to any alternative. But I thought WWE Legends of WrestleMania looked ALL SORTS OF AWESOME, and so I snatched it up for him. He started playing it right off, so perhaps it was a good call. And it's a much, MUCH better spectator video game than Madden (ZZzzz).

I was watching Seth play it this afternoon and I was reminded of how much I used to dig Hulk Hogan's Rock 'n' Wrestling Saturday a.m. cartoon as a young lassie. If wrestling was as spectacularly campy today as it was circa 1985, then I just might deign to watch it. Now there's no kilted loudmouths, or junkyard dogs, or pig-toting hillbillies. Yawwwwn...now they're all just interchangeable badass types. I definitely was more into the characters/WWF mythos than I was into the actual wrestling.

So during this reverie, I recalled some dude always saying "Pencil-neck geek" which is such a funny go-to epithet. Like you're trying to be menacing (I presume) and convey that you're furious and you call someone. . .a geek? Oh no..my bad...that's a pencil-neck geek. Well, that's waaay more scathing. I really ought not criticize, because when I was a kidd-o, (probably until about the age of 6 or 7) my very worst name for me to fling at someone who enraged me was..."stool pigeon" For reals. THAT was my heavy artillery. I don't even know where I got that. WTF-- was I watching Jimmy Cagney movies or something???

Upon returning from Seth's birthday bash, I hastened to the computer to hit up YouTube. I remember the pencil neck geek guy (this was Classy Fred Blassie I've since rediscovered) working it into a song. I remember it verbatim "I'LL SMASH YOU WITH MY CANE, YOU PENCIL-NECK GEEK!!"
I found just what I was after. I just know there was repeated viewings of this in my formative years, because so much of it besides just the pencil neck geek part was oh-so familiar.

This cracks my shit up. I just love it. (my embed be actin' all whack so I shall also provide A LINK to the object of my amusement...my immense amusement) My next mission is to track down a transcript, because I'm curious-- is the Russian character actually saying real words? It just sounds like nonsensical jibba-jabba. Of course nonsensical jibba-jabba and WWF faux Russian are quite possibly the same thing.

I'm sad.Send moolah.

Bah... I'm in a foul mood. Certainly not a "black" mood but I've found myself in...I guess one would say..."the doldrums"

I sense my car is near death*. And it's made me philosophical... well, maybe I should choose the adjective "contemplative". "Philosophical" may be putting too grand a spin on it. I mean, did the great philosophers expend a lot of time & great philosophizing on the subject of finances? Philosophy101 is soooo far in my rear view, I honestly can't say. I remember I had a smallish crush on my professor and that's about all I can recollect. Which triggers another recurring worry of mine-- that my mental retention is not what it ought to be. But that's a tangential stressor...my main focus these days being MONEY. That's right: I've got my mind on my money and my money on my mind. Or lack thereof as the case seems to be. I've got my lack of a mind on my lack of money and my lack of money on my lacking mind. FECK.

I sometimes really do get the feeling that money--a nice, sudden, influx of excessive fundage-- would solve all my problems. Rationally, I know it wouldn't solve EVERYTHING. But, dammit, it feels like it would. And let's be real-- it sure wouldn't hurt. I think those people in the "Money can't buy happiness" camp are rather simplistic. Money could at least rent happiness. And that's better than no happiness at all, right? Hey, I don't need to be OBSCENELY RICH (though I can't imagine I'd hate it) I would just like to have enough so that issues like this one with my P.O.S. car didn't loom as this GIANT FUCKING IMPEDIMENT in my mind. Another thing that would be nice would be the ability to travel and not have to mete out just the exact number of ETO days you can afford to take, and not have to dick around with debates like-- lemme see, will I save more money at the Days Inn or the Super 8? If I get a room with a fridge, I can stock it with eats and save money by only dining out for one meal... Sure, there can be a certain thrill to being thrifty, but I imagine you get more of a kick out of it if you really don't *have* to be.

On the other hand, I am not destitute, and my annoying poindexter of a superego is piping up to say "At lot of people are worse off than you!!" Aforesaid superego also wants to point out that my $$ woes are only about 50% attributable to the shitty wage I pull in...the other 50%, I'm sure is due to my own calamitous style of financial planning. And I use the word "planning" VERY loosely in this instance. So all these important points duly noted...but that said ....

My id & ego just want MORE MONEY so it looks like my inner Jiminy Cricket is outnumbered, 2 to 1. I need to shop around for a 2nd job. I'm going to fall into that Catch 22 of having enough money but no time to enjoy it vs conversely, having the time...and no $$ to do anything. Is that a proper Catch 22 ?? I'm sure I learned all about the catch 22 at some point, but the definition has since escaped my sieve-like noggin. Oh, then there's finding that second job and then having no way to get there...which I realize is not a Catch 22....'tis just a downright PISSAH.

* specifics of my car ills- the check engine light popped on. Which I'm apt to be dismissive of ...but the car does feel to me like it's...I dunno...draggy. Like something is stepping on its tail...like it's going uphill all the time... but then I wonder if I'm really sensing the car is driving oddly or if the glow of the check engine light is causing me to imagine it. If the car *is* effed up, I ought not sink more $$ into the heap, I should just find a new car. (but uhhh, see post above re: obstructions to that scheme) I need to find a car that is little to no maintenance (and I mean preventative maintenance too!!) and lasts me forever...which is not going to happen because there is no such car. So maybe if that is too much to ask, how about a car that can specifically tell you WTF is the matter with it? I do believe Modern Science promised us fecking flying Jetson cars by the year 2010, the least they could do toward that end is give us autos that don't have totally nebulous warning lights. I mean, your check engine light comes on, and it could be one of ohhhhh, 3,000 different maladies. But then you take it to Auto Zone, where they can hook up one of their little pocket protecter computers to somewhereabouts under your dash and it burps forth a code. So the car--that sadistic shitass car-- *does* have a more specific idea of what is ailing it!! So why can't we get more specific indicator lights? But nooooo, for 50+ years we have the same, not overly helpful, alarmist set of indicator lights. And I am presently plagued by the worst of them all, which does the equivalent of yelling "AAAAAAAGH! YOUR ENGINE!" Which is especially vexing, since some of the times, the boo boo is not even in the vicinity of the sonofabitchin' engine.
KITT. I need KITT. If David Hasslehoff has custody, there may be hope. Y'know, I happen to have a coupon for $1 . off one Wendy's Baconator in my email inbox....so..you know... perhaps a barter...

super WOOL!!

I got Lucy this Superhero Starter Kit for Christmas and I had to film her getting some use out of it.

bimbo bus

I dunno that I've ever mentioned it, but my office shares a building with a bar. The prestigious (haa) Benning St Bar & Grille/ Electra takes up the front of our building and the VNA offices are ‘round back.

Anyways…I mention this cuz…guess what was parked in the parking lot today? A giant tour bus. Not just *any* giant tour bus—the GIRLS GONE WILD tour bus.

Word on the street (Benning Street, anyhow) is that they're patronizing Electra tonight & tomorrow night. I am soooooome miffed! I had no idea they was coming. Grrrr…what’s the point of my subscribing to the GGW e-newsletter if it’s not gonna get me the advance 411 on such happenin’s?? Had I known the bus was on its way to my 'hood I would have taken care of some overdue pit-scaping. I mean, I can’t very well shed my shirt on camera and then not commence to “raise da roof”--am I right? I mean, shirtless and arms crossed = big time mixed signals. I suppose I could do, side-to-side hillbilly elbows. But with the mid-size shrubberies I’ve got sprouting ‘neath my arms—absolutely *no* roof raising or fist-pumping.

Humiliation would surely ensue.

flour power

Back in mid-December (the 16th, if ya wanna be specific about it) my boss decided that our office was participating in an area Adopt-a-Family program, wherein your organization gets the specs on an area family in need (ages, genders, clothing sizes, wants, needs, etc.) and they buy Christmas gifts for them. Well because this drive fell under “clerical odd jobs” and everything in that category invariably falls to me, I ended up organizing the thing. And I didn’t really mind, as it was a fun job and quite a switcheroo from the mind numbing crud I usually get saddled with. I was a bit perturbed that Cathy launched the whole thing so belatedly (Dec 16th? That’s pretty shabby) but overall, I was cool with it.

So the day arrived for the pick-up of the gifts and me and a coupla folks from the Development Dept (it feels hokey to call them “Development” , as they’ve dubbed their crew. I’m always compelled to call them “Marketing” which is what they truly are) wrapped everything. Gaye (head of "Development") insisted we get photographed next to the mountain o' gifts wielding our rolls of wrapping paper (but of course she spins it into a photo op...that's her whole niche in the agency) Now that I wasn't overly thrilled about...not a big fan of getting my photo snapped, but I sucked it up and thought-- whatev..one of the pics she's going to schlep around to her please-support-the-VNA community outreach fetes that *I* will never have to see so what do I give a damn?

Well today she emailed the photo agency-wide. BARF. I sorta have myself to blame, though my instigation was *completely* inadvertant. I received in the mail a thank-you letter from the Adopt-a-Family program that expressed appreciation and also gave some results ie: how many gifts amassed, how many area families helped, etc. And so I scanned said letter and emailed it to everyone with reiterant "Thank you to all who participated" (actually it was a skoach more eloquently put, but I did manage some semblance of brevity believe it or no) And I guess that reminded Gaye of the photos she had taken, because mere minutes later her email went out.

Okay, it's bad enough that I looked HORRID. I was annoyed at having my photo taken (that's a given) and so I'm doing this awful transparent straining-to-be-civil smile (I have always been crap at smiling on cue ) Secondly, I'd just wrapped about a hundred presents and my updo was half fallen down. The real piece de resistance though was that fluorescent overhead lighting+ an unnecessary flash made it starkly apparent that I hadn't paid much attention to blending when I did my make up that morning. I had some sort of blemish fest on my face at the time (broken out in "spots" as the Limeys so cutely put it) and what I'd done was slapped some concealer over it and in my ill -lit bathroom I couldn't see how NOT blended it was and/or my coffee deprived brain didn't perceive it and/or I just had to smack that snooze button an extra time or three and was consequently running late that morning and didn't give a flying feck. Probably that last one, if I know me. You know, if I am going somewhere *important* and I have imperfections to mask, there's a whole time intensive, multi-layer spackling job I do but for work I just DON'T try that hard, aesthetically speaking (as I've made abundantly clear in this blog) Plus, I had no advance notice that I was going to be photographed that day either.

So yeah, short story long--I'm in this pic looking utterly hagged out and I have a bizarre white patch on my lower cheek, jawbone region. It was really pale flesh tone, but reads white in the fluorescent lights + camera flash atmosphere. So one of my coworkers--obnoxious bitch that she is--quickly emails me: " Did you have something with flour on it for lunch? LOL" Bloody hell... I have a general aversion to "LOL" to begin with, and then you get some people who overuse it to a redonkulous degree. This Amy is one of those. But obviously my biggest qualm with her is that she just HAD to point that out to me. When you get a publicly distributed photo of someone, where something is quite evidently jacked up about that someone's FACE, the humane thing to do is act like you never saw the picture. Obviously. Why must I always be the arbiter of proper decorum? Geeeez! Ok, so I feel a smidge guilty calling her an "obnoxious bitch". That's a tad strong, but the "obnoxious " part of it is right on the money.

I emailed back to her " I hadn’t had lunch at that point. Although I was somewhat discolored and disheveled from doing a faceplant in that pile of coke (I needed a li’l “picker-upper” to help me dispatch with my elving more expeditiously, y’know…) Yep, you shoulda helped out…it was a big drug orgy….good times. " Of course I wasn't going to cop to fucking up at mon toilette!!

Her response? "LOL"

Oh, you're "laughing out loud" now girl, but you gon' be laughing out tha otha side o' your face iffin you don't shut the hell up soon...

Guily Pleasure TV

I think I'm on record with my oft-disparaging attitude toward reality TV. And so, I really can't tell you WHY I make an exception and just adore both High School Reunion (watched the season3 premiere on Wednesday night--stayed up waaay too damn late, but I HAD to see it) and Project Runway (am kinda bummed that I missed that season premiere somehow...but I think PR eps are available thru the Lifetime website ...or Comcast On Demand. So I will undoubtedly catch up. Expect a PR-themed post@ that time).


Obviously this new HSR season is going to echo seasons 1 & 2, they keep mining these alum classes for the same archetypes : "the jock" "the outcast" etc. etc. Even though I know it's a quite deliberate formula, my mind keeps making parallels to season 2 & even season 1 sometimes. They do seem to be kicking it up a notch with some of their characters . Take their "bully" figure...Jason in season 1 was truly a poor excuse for a bully. He apparently had a history of bullying some nerd back in the day, but 20 yr reunion Jason was an innocuous meathead. And he apologized instantaneously, right at his detention. Then season 2 gave us Dennis...he was overtly obnoxious and required a small measure of reforming . So, a bit more of a story arc there-- it took 1 or 2 episodes to chip away his facade and expose his inner marshmallowiness. But the current incarnation--John--yyyikes. Like I said, they keep stepping it up... John makes Dennis look like Mr Rogers. What a colossal asshole!!

And I must give credit to his detention-mate Eric for dispelling, for this viewer, some tired old stereotypical misconceptions I didn't realize I held. I think "gay guy" and I imagine some impeccable Beau Brummel, arbiter of taste, guru of good grooming. But my idealized gay guy would never, EVER, sport that hair-do that Eric has.... and never, ever, *EVER* on national TV. Ok, sarcastic snipes at the guy's vile coiff out of the way, I genuinely do commend him for taking John's insistent asshattedness so very graciously. One thing that irked me about the whole Dennis fracas from last season is that when he was a rowdy, insensitive lout several alums really blew it outta proportion and acted like he stabbed someone or something monstrous. Eric maintained his sangfroid pretty admirably (a lot better than Tracy did, that's for sure).

Oh, in other bad hair news...Antanus. Dreads. Yuck. Can you REALLY be a "player" in dreads? Or maybe they're Stevie Wonder circa 1985 braids...but still. Seems incongruous to me, but I guess it's possible.

Rachelle is this season's Maricela... not really a stepped-up version either. YAWN. Also Jodi & Joe seem very familiar (Kara & Tom redux) although it seems pretty clear from previews that Joe is going to opt to NOT re-hit that. Whereas I believe last season left Kara & Tom on a "maybe?"note (even though I could tell the reunion was not gonna take).

They rather stepped up the bimbo element... not only is there a pair of them this season, but the Summer Girls are MEAN whereas poor Jessica was merely vapid .OK, so she was, incredibly, painfully vapid. And a little bit barmy. But I'd still rather have her at my reunion than the Summers. Oh, I would SO wanna throttle those bitches!! It was funny how, at the outset, Lisette was interviewed and mentions "I want to show my classmates that I was more than just hot & popular" or something like that. It was sort of cocky and stupid thing to say, but at its core, a noble sentiment. And then Elena came. And the two glommed onto each other and reverted back to behaviors of yore. Pretty interesting, from a sociological standpoint.

Cyndi, the nuevo-Liz, has one up on Liz, because Liz didn't have a racy post-h.s. gig to shock everyone with. I'm surprised they tipped the Cyndi, ex-stripper hand so early on in the season. Makes me think that they've got something REAL BIG in the hopper. Well, if season previews are to be believed, there's gonna be like, 3 or 4 weddings. Insane. I think that's just overkill...they're shooting for "sensational season", but landing in "hokey, contrived" territory.

Well, I'm starting to bore myself with this, so let me just sum up the rest of the cast with bullet points--
*Tracy B.-- mildly annoying. I guess overall I like her, but the way she's all excessively pissed at John , and yes he IS an asshole, but she was so preachy about it. And towards Eric...there was a *big show*of empathy. She's trying too hard...I think that's what it is about her that annoys. For me, she is the season 3 equivalent of season 2's class clown Scott.
The one thing I do find intriguing about her (thus far) is that inclusion of her last initial. It moves me to ponder when the other Tracy is showing up. And if she'll be less annoying.
*Lori-- looks quite a bit like a physical therapist I work with. That may unfairly prejudice me against her.

Ok, that's all the junk TV I'm going to prattle on about until the next HSR episode...or until I catch the Project Runway season premiere...whichever comes first.

doodly doodly dooooooo....

We had a mandatory all-employee meeting today. For the most part, it’s a litany of line chart after bar graph after pie chart, etc. etc all about our financial well being and the budget. SNOOOOOZE. But still, I was hoping it would run for the whole 2 hrs allotted, because it’s only during these mandatory meetings that I can get any doodling accomplished. On a day-to-day basis, I’m too industrious (yuck.. how distasteful). As it was (the meeting run time clocked in at a mere 42 min) this is all I managed to do…

mark your calendars

I've blogged about it before , but I feel it bears repeating..

This coming Jan 15th marks the 91st anniversary of the Boston Molasses Disaster. Fear and respect the molasses!!

Conan, Leno, Tomayto, Tomahto...let's call the whole thing off.

I can't believe the kerfuffle over this whole Leno/ Conan/ NBC imbroglio. I would say I don't give a rat's ass, but because of the chance of it impacting Jimmy Fallon and his terrific 12:35am program, I do indeed give a rat's ass.
It's time to put Leno out to pasture, methinks. I've never really found him terribly amusing anyways. Though, as long as they leave Jimmy be, I don't really care what NBC decides.